Club etiquette, and "wife watching"

[Patrberg 19]

I have a question for the learned people here.

 

First off a little about us. My wife is 37 (she looks around 29, and is very cute and curvy, no it's not just because I'm her husband) I'm 40, and we've been together since she was 18. Our marriage is really strong, and we are not looking into this to "fix" anything, I know that that's an immediate concern on a lot of forum postings (it is nice to see that people look out for each other).

 

Back when we were young we use to hit a lot of the goth clubs, and sometimes we would go on the bdS&M or "sex positive" nights, but we never did anything but dance, and usually after doing a fair amount of people watching, go home and boink each others brains out. Then, along came kids and responsibility and adulthood. Though we never stopped being kinky, and constantly challenging each other's sexual notions, we did drop out of any sort of club scene.

 

On a side note, I am a writer and photographer, and for years now we played a little game where I would try to guess the kinks that turned her on by writing stories with her as the star. Recently, after writing her a similarly themed story, we begin to talk about the exhilarating feeling of going out to the clubs, and she really begin to express interest in possibly visiting an on-site venue. She is very much an exhibitionist, and I am very much a voyeur, we are perfectly matched. After a bit of research I found that there are quite a few clubs in our area, and quickly got us invited to more than one (when she found out I had done this it turned her on no end, so she's not exactly timid about the idea). After discussing everything frankly, honestly, and openly we both came to the conclusion that a visit to the club would be a lot of fun. We are both confident/trusting in each other, and comfortable in our own skins. Our marriage could honestly survive a neutron bomb, let alone some dude sticking his cock in my wife's very aroused pussy... That being said, we are really not interested in swapping. I guess the "hot wife"scenario is closer to how we feel, but even that's not completely correct. heh, I get off on her getting off, and she gets off on me getting off on her getting off.

 

Here in comes the question. We really want to go to a club or event where we can be wallflowers, and if she wants to, and feels comfortable enough, she can jump in and play with a male attendee, or two, or three:D (If they are equally interested in playing with her of course)

 

Most clubs seem to look down on single males, and I don't know what the etiquette is regarding the other wife feeling left out (since it's more about my wife's sexual liberation then any sort of swap)

I don't know, maybe I'm overthinking it, as we've never been to one of these clubs, but do some couples split up and do their own thing, or is there a specific type of venue that we should attend if we are interested in more a bilateral situation. We definitely aren't interested in adult personals, or setting up any sort of long drawn out scenario.. We just want to go somewhere and be wallflowers until she decides that it's time to be naughty with some anonymous someone, and even if that does or doesn't happen we will probably put on show ourselves. My wife has said that the gang bang nights some of the clubs have really arouse her curiosity, but are definitely too extreme for dipping your toe in the water... Right now she's just thinking about touching, oral, and maybe intercourse (the more exhibitionist the better)

 

Please excuse the messy punctuation and wall of text I am sort of going stream of consciousness. Everything written here comes from the both of us and not just the husband.

 

Oh and I should probably mention that we are completely aware that we can expect everything to happen on the first night, or second night, or maybe even third night. We just wanted to get some perspective on where it might happen when it does.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

. . . but do some couples split up and do their own thing, or is there a specific type of venue that we should attend if we are interested in more a bilateral situation? . . .

Yes, couples split up and have club adventures of their own. My wife and I have been known, in fact, to do this.

. . . is there a specific type of venue that we should attend if we are interested in more a bilateral situation? . . .

Private house parties are better venues for this. To get to these parties you must, of course, first manage to receive invitations, But that's another subject altogether.

[Patrberg 19]

Yes, couples split up and have club adventures of their own. My wife and I have been known, in fact, to do this. Private house parties are better venues for this. To get to these parties you must, of course, first manage to receive invitations, But that's another subject altogether.

 

Thanks for the response.

 

Interesting, funny thing is my wife and I have actually been invited to a few "housewarming" party's, but I, like many men, didn't pick up on the subtle clues my wife was spamming out into the ether regarding being curious about attending. Sometimes "I don't know that sounds weird" actually means "if you say yes first, I'll say hell-yes!"

 

I'm sort of glad that we have hit the blunt stage of communication.

[T-Rex 148]

Are there any clubs in Seattle that allow single men one or two nights a week? That might be worth trying.

 

If you can make a mini vacation out of it, try Trapeze in Ft. Lauderdale. We still think it is the top club we've visited over the years. Like many clubs, you dance in the front, maybe meet a few people. Then you get naked, except for a towel (they have a large locker room with towels), and head into the back where there are lots of play areas. No one will bother you if you just want to watch. I believe Friday nights single guys are allowed in. Walls and a bar split the play area, and single guys are allowed only on one side. Couples and single women, of course, go wherever they want. A couple interested in single guys can hook up with one or more if they wish. Whatever excites you. Remember, women are in control always. We always have a blast there!

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Club visits are usually what you make of them, so yes, you can go and just sit and watch for a bit to get a feel for things. If that's what you want to do, then if suggest getting there right when they open so you'll have your pick of tables and can find something in a dark corner. It'll be slow at first, which is good, because you can kind of grow into things just as the overall energy grows as the night goes on.

 

If you out off a vibe that you don't want approached...then you probably won't be...which may be exactly what you want the first time. Once you get comfortable though, and start seeming approachable...and doing some approaching of your own...then I don't think you'll have any problem finding the scenario you want.

 

You guys sound like a great couple and the type that will do well in swinging since your heads are in the right place. Have fun!

[adamgunn 1,461]

Patrberg, yeah, head for a club, let her flirt, see what happens. The worst that will happen is the two of you will have a great time by yourselves, and find out a little bit more about your kinks.

 

Did you ever publish your stories? If so, where can they be found?