Chloeangel 15 Posted January 27, 2018 Fetishes? Fantasy? What are they interested in? How to tell when it how to make the play? Quote Share this post Link to post
Chloeangel 15 Posted January 27, 2018 I am in a wonderful relationship. We were recently watching adult movies the other night and we were asking questions to each regarding what we saw and if we liked it. We have been together almost two years. I am bi and he is straight so we watched an array of vids. So. We are professionals. I am a confident woman and he is a confident man. So we freely spoke. We both made comments at different times that we enjoyed the rough sex videos when in the right mood. Sex after watching videos was fin and exciting. I was down on him and teasing and vice versa. Wonderful intercourse. And then cuddle time. None of it "rough" or at least not like he discussed. He is a wonderful laid back man. My question is do I design a sexual experience where he is holding the reins so to speak? I don't think he would ever act on anything for fear of running me off or hurting me. Neither of which I am concerned about. I have an interest in enjoying it. How can I present myself or let him know he can have fun with it and act out on what he enjoys watching? Or is this normal to enjoy watching it and maybe he has no interest in acting out? Quote Share this post Link to post
Wornsilver 219 Posted January 27, 2018 Dear Chloe, I cannot, of course, speak for anyone else, but as for me I find "rough" sex to be mildly entertaining on the internet once in a while, but I know myself well enough to know that I would not be capable of that kind of sex (or most of BDSM, for that matter). Just not in my nature. I tried spanking my wife during doggy once, and it came out contrived and kinda fakey. I was sort of embarrassed. On the other hand, I can be intense, passionate, ripping clothes off, etc. Not all the time, but if somehow inspired. If she (or, maybe you) were to want to be "taken," "dominated" and roughed up, you might do well to find someone else? If you are interested in "presenting" yourself, you are a helluva wife and he is a lucky man...and we want to hear what happens after you tell him what you told us! Good luck. Quote Share this post Link to post
Chloeangel 15 Posted January 28, 2018 Thank you for that. Very fortunately, finding someone else will not be an option. He is my best friend and lover. Oddly my favorite role model. There can be no comparison to that. We are an open minded couple and are still enjoying one on one play two years in. It's hard to make time to explore other options at this time. I want him to be able to express himself and live out his wants or needs. Despite having open concersations, I know some people tend to hide what they feel like is a BIG revealing turn off. I personally have had taken a moment before answering questions he has or fear of giving an "acceptable" answer and not the truth. In other words, I didn't want to share something with him to turn him off. We have had some pretty explicitly detailed convo. Rough sex means something different to each person I talk with. Some it's spanking or kink and others is full blown dungeon and role play. I am willing to do whatever. Lol. I just don't know if a simple discussion is a hint to more or do you just go all out surprise? I don't want to make him have uncomfortable conversation cause I care that much about him but at the same time I don't want to leave him lacking. I am probably overthinking. I will talk more with him next time we get a chance and let you know the outcome. Quote Share this post Link to post
Jane1902 476 Posted January 28, 2018 You make an interesting point about holding back while trying to give "acceptable" answers. I think leading a conversation with that being said opens the door to be okay with what each says. I also think it could be fun for each of you to pick a video of something that turns you on and then talk about it. Curious what he would come up with? Quote Share this post Link to post
