We begin our journey

[Socca 20]

Our journey. The wife and I have started talking lately about spicing up our sex life. We did some research and pulled the trigger to do a lifestyle cruise in Nov this year. Once we pulled the trigger we swapped between being very anxious to let’s hit the gym and find some sexy outfits for her. Last weekend we went to Vegas and I asked her to go to a club. At first, she was very hesitant and felt like we were rushing. I wanted to know before the cruise what we were getting into. It was my birthday weekend and she said we could go but no promises on how long we stay. We had a Vegas show to see that night and the plan was to go right after the show. She wore a skin tight black dress that had me going immediately.

 

After the show we went straight to the car and headed the 11 miles to the club (Red Rooster). I digitally worked her to ease her nerves and mine. She was wet and it seemed to help. As we pulled close to the club which requires you to go thru an almost empty part of town that heighten our nerves and were we being crazy. We reached the club and there were 40 cars parked on the street, and they have a parking lot that was packed with more. This was much more than we were expecting. We entered with our hearts racing. I grabbed her hand wondering if I had just put the love of my life at risk. Inside was a dance floor packed with normal people having a good time. We went to the sitting area where 2 girls without tops were making out. Our nerves decreased. We continued into a room which had a few single males standing over something we could not see, but it felt creepy and I took her out. Nerves back up. We then headed for the dance floor and danced several dances. We had a large breasted blonde who danced next to us and kept taking her top on and off. My wife’s nerves diminished as she was openly grinding on my pants and allowing me to openly fondle her. We then headed upstairs where there were 4 couches facing each other and 1-2 couples on each couch. Off to the side was the couples’ area. I led my wife there but to enter you had to be naked. She said she just was not ready and the nerves started to escalate.

 

We went back to the couches and found a seat. A couple next to us was rubbing each other. All the couples were gorgeous. I started fingering my wife and she allowed it. Then to my surprise she started rubbing me and pulled my member out and went to town. Other couples were doing the same thing. Some were watching my wife. We played with each other for awhile and then my wife said she wanted to go back to the hotel and fuck. We left the building and she exclaimed “I can do this! I am so proud of myself.” We headed back and all she could talk about was how exciting it was.

 

We made it back to the hotel but never slept that night. While we never connected with any other couple’s that night the experience already greatly enhanced our sex life. We spent the rest of the weekend shopping for sexy outfits for her. We can’t wait til Nov… Is this a normal start? Should we expect the same from the cruise?

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Hello, and welcome!

 

Yes, I think that is a very normal start to swinging. You guys did a lot of things right, like being willing to give things a try while at the same time being aware of and knowing when too much was too much. That combination of pushing past anxiety but not so far past that you lose all sight of what your boundaries are will take you far in swinging and result in a lot of fun nights together. Together is really what it is all about too, as you found out. Contrary to popular belief, swinging isn't about just being turned loose to get some strange, it's something couples do together and at the end of the night, the most powerful thing you will be feeling is what you are feeling together. It's hard to explain, but I think you've already felt it enough to know what I mean. It just gets better too the more experienced you get and the more comfortable you are going even further than what you have.

 

Hope you have a great time on the cruise!

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Yes, this is a normal start. The perceived fear is almost always greater than the reality. You have now stepped across that line and discovered that simple fact. While it's not for everyone, it can fun to be sexy and sexual with others around. The secret is having a relationship that is strong enough to be able to allow your defenses down so you can both enjoy it. Let us know how that cruise goes!

[Chris&Suzanne 204]

Sounds like a great start. We have also fucked each other a lot after visiting the Red Rooster. Would love to hear about your cruise when you get back.

 

We are in Long Beach

[Eddiem 139]

Yeah me thinks so as well. We just went to check out the place and ended up having some fun, more than expected. Seeing her taken from behind by another man was very erotic and gut wrenching. But she loved it especially as he finished in her. Later in a private room we agreed to split up a little I caught her being ravaged by a late 20s male. Awesome site.

Our journey. The wife and I have started talking lately about spicing up our sex life. We did some research and pulled the trigger to do a lifestyle cruise in Nov this year. Once we pulled the trigger we swapped between being very anxious to let’s hit the gym and find some sexy outfits for her. Last weekend we went to Vegas and I asked her to go to a club. At first, she was very hesitant and felt like we were rushing. I wanted to know before the cruise what we were getting into. It was my birthday weekend and she said we could go but no promises on how long we stay. We had a Vegas show to see that night and the plan was to go right after the show. She wore a skin tight black dress that had me going immediately.

 

After the show we went straight to the car and headed the 11 miles to the club (Red Rooster). I digitally worked her to ease her nerves and mine. She was wet and it seemed to help. As we pulled close to the club which requires you to go thru an almost empty part of town that heighten our nerves and were we being crazy. We reached the club and there were 40 cars parked on the street, and they have a parking lot that was packed with more. This was much more than we were expecting. We entered with our hearts racing. I grabbed her hand wondering if I had just put the love of my life at risk. Inside was a dance floor packed with normal people having a good time. We went to the sitting area where 2 girls without tops were making out. Our nerves decreased. We continued into a room which had a few single males standing over something we could not see, but it felt creepy and I took her out. Nerves back up. We then headed for the dance floor and danced several dances. We had a large breasted blonde who danced next to us and kept taking her top on and off. My wife’s nerves diminished as she was openly grinding on my pants and allowing me to openly fondle her. We then headed upstairs where there were 4 couches facing each other and 1-2 couples on each couch. Off to the side was the couples’ area. I led my wife there but to enter you had to be naked. She said she just was not ready and the nerves started to escalate.

 

We went back to the couches and found a seat. A couple next to us was rubbing each other. All the couples were gorgeous. I started fingering my wife and she allowed it. Then to my surprise she started rubbing me and pulled my member out and went to town. Other couples were doing the same thing. Some were watching my wife. We played with each other for awhile and then my wife said she wanted to go back to the hotel and fuck. We left the building and she exclaimed “I can do this! I am so proud of myself.” We headed back and all she could talk about was how exciting it was.

 

We made it back to the hotel but never slept that night. While we never connected with any other couple’s that night the experience already greatly enhanced our sex life. We spent the rest of the weekend shopping for sexy outfits for her. We can’t wait til Nov… Is this a normal start? Should we expect the same from the cruise?

[Roliin75 53]

Hi! We are also very (very) new to this whole thing and we did discover something interesting. It started on a vacation to Florida where we stumbled upon a nude beach. My husband and I had never been to one (or ever thought about it). At first I was sooooo nervous at the thought of taking off my clothes in public! What I realized when we were there was that everyone else was naked so it was more normal to take my clothes off than leave them on!

Same thing in a swing club. When we entered the back area and everyone was touching and playing, we attracted less attention when we engaged in playtime of our own. I think that's my take on it. Only you think and feel it's weird, the people there think it's totally normal! That thought process should take the edge off. Good luck!

[padoc 1,703]

Rollin, if you continue to explore this hobby for awhile you will be amazed at how perfectly normal situations which you now call weird become. Just one example…We were quite new to this and were spending a short vacation in SFL. We went to Haulover Beach and while there the 1st day met and spent the afternoon chatting with a similar couple. The next day, we found them near the same lifeguard stand. They got up and greeted us with a hug. The husband helped set up our umbrella and chairs and got some sand stuck in the sunscreen on his penis. In a most natural fashion, Mrs Doc casually reached out and brushed the sand of his dick. She turned bright red and said "I can't believe I just did that". Vanilla couples would be shocked at that behavior in public, we all had a good laugh.

[seacaroh 19]

Very vanilla couple here, but reading and listening to the other stories of experiences. The positive attitudes and overall good nature of folks in the lifestyle is the most attractive feature for us. I'm sure we would be nervous going into a club and feel the overwhelming expectations to go past our boundaries. It's good to know you can take things at your own pace and it be generally accepted. We're also not naive to think every situation is positive, but the more we read, the more confidence we get. Thanks for sharing your experiences, good and bad.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Very vanilla couple here, but reading and listening to the other stories of experiences. . .

I'm pleased to know that you have found the information here to be useful. Wishing you good fortune in your initial explorations and WELCOME to Swingersboard.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Can't be TOO vanilla...you are here aren't you

 

Kind of like most peoples fear of finding someone they know at a swingers club or party...you're both still at the party for swingers

[luv2was 117]

.... The positive attitudes and overall good nature of folks in the lifestyle is the most attractive feature for us.... Thanks for sharing your experiences, good and bad.

Good observation. ... And Welcome!

 

What I find the most attractive about what I've learned here (on SB.com) is the confidence in the partnerships. That a couple can feel so secure about their relationship, they are comfortable breaking the barrier of commonly held social taboos, and exploring the limits of physical fun... that includes others outside their relationship.

 

Try starting a thread of your own. Ask questions, share your experience, whatever. Most folks are here, reading and posting, for the very same reasons your are.

 

Enjoy the journey.

 

;-)

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

Every person/couple in the lifestyle shares a common experience: we began.

 

The "why, what, and how" is unique for each person and each couple, but the act of taking that first step binds us together. The anxieties are predictable, the concerns heartfelt, and the physical/spiritual/emotional tensions all surface.

 

Looking back, the angst is not about sex, it's about intimacy.

Looking back, the angst is not about 'dating', it's about 'relating'.

Looking back, the angst is not about what we do, it's about who we are--and who we aspire to become.

 

That step forward into the lifestyle, at least for couples, is all about the foundation of their relationship, the meaning of sex(ual exclusivity), why they (we) chose to live our lives together. Candidly, that's really scary territory for many couples. Surely it was for us.

 

Yet we began. We began our journey into "alternative lifestyles" with our first trip to a nude resort, now more than two decades ago.

 

Exposed. Vulnerable.

 

That, in fact, is the root of the angst. That by joining an alternative lifestyle--nudism, swinging, whatever--that somehow will place your relationship with your partner at risk.

 

It is a common refrain that swinging exposes every fault in a relationship, and yet those who stay in the lifestyle are stronger for it. Swinging does not expose the faults--the faults (we all have them) were there and simply expressed differently.

 

Why is "beginning" a courageous act? Why do vanillas say "I would never be so brave with our relationship?"

 

Remember the wisdom of Thucydides, "The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it."

 

Those who begin in the lifestyle have bravely done the hard work of introspection--not of themselves but of the relationship with their partner. What does that relationship mean, what do I bring to it, what does my partner bring to it.

 

Some who step forward will step back. Others who step forward will continue. Yet all who take that first step, become 'newbies'-- they have earned our respect. They have asked themselves what they mean to each other with greater clarity, requiring greater transparency, and have started to find answers.

 

What surprises so many newbies, yet us utterly unsurprising to those who have been in LS for a while, is the degree to which couples "fall in love with each other all over again". Why that should be is a topic for another time.