#MeToo ?

[TricianMike 772]

No disrespect to anyone who was assaulted or was taken advantage of. I am not looking to start an argument. I believe most of the stories in the news. I know I have not been treated the same as men in my life. It’s hard to believe all people aren’t the same. I watched on the news a father who wanted to beat a doctor who molested his daughters. I think every parent would feel the same. That is not what I am posting about.

 

I just posted that I had sex at 14. Not sure what the law was when I did this. I was not forced into it. I was a curious inquisitive girl who wanted to do what a friend did. Some would say I was too young to make that decision. No it wasn’t with someone who was or became famous. It was with someone who I knew. I can’t even say I loved him. Maybe he took advantage of a willing virgin. Maybe I was just a conquered girl. I was willing. I can’t say I’m proud. I can’t say it was great. It was sex and others were doing it. It wasn’t the only time we did it. I know now looking back I was just sex to him. I have no regrets. I am not going to make claims that he used influence. I don’t care if he is a big shot now, I’m not going to make claims.

[MrSaxon 39]

Consent is a very sticky situation. I’ve known teenagers who are more mature than most adults, but I’ve also met teenagers that shouldn’t be allowed out of the house. I always and forever think back to one of my old bosses, who was a 43 year old man. He had a 12 year old daughter, and “popped” a 15 year old employee of his. It disgusted me to the point I left the place; but 15 years later they’re actually now married. He’s 56 and she’s 31, but that’s that. What happened in the past sometimes should stay in the past, with alterations to actions and methods for the future. 500 years ago 9 and 10 year old girls got married off and raped by their husbands.... at least we’re not there!

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

Consent implies the ability to make an informed decision. It evolves over time. It demands an understanding of the consequences of the decision, both short term and long term.

 

I can ask most nine year olds whether they would like to have an ice cream cone, and then ask whether they want vanilla or chocolate. Those who are lactose intolerant or have juvenile diabetes know the consequences of eating ice cream, consequences that do not affect the population at large. They are in a position to consent to the ice cream.

 

Sex and other intimate behaviors also have consequences. The problem is that the landscape of intimacy is decidedly unfamiliar to young people. They do not know they have the right to say "no" at any time. They are unfamiliar with the physical and emotional consequences of intimacy. They rarely understand the risks of pregnancy or of sexually transmitted infections. Above all, they do not understand the connections among intimacy, vulnerability, and power.

 

The fact that there exists an "age of consent" is intended to provide some assurance that they understand what it means to consent to sex and other intimate behaviors. That assurance is weak at best. Society owes it to young people that sex and intimacy should begin on terms they understand, and is not pressured.

 

Age matters. However, understanding and reasoning matter more.

[Guest]

For years we argue that we, women, should be treated as equals. Now, we go into court and say the poor little college girl was just too drunk to have given consent so we should hang the equally drunk college boy she did it with. Why is she excused and he’s held accountable. I woke up one Sunday morning in a frat house. Kind of remembered saying no don’t a couple of times to my date and then probably yea fuck me, when he slid it in as was pretty much my habit by that time, and then I vaguely remembered waking up and his roommate on top of me doing the job. Hey, I left telling myself, cut down on the drinking, no more frat parties. I was just as responsible or irresponsible as they, more so, it was my body, me and my body allowed it to happen. And regarding Hollywood, which one of us has heard the term casting couch. Oh, surprise, guess what we have to do in our auditions. Yes it’s wrong but every one did (for 20,30 or more years) knowing it was wrong because the benefits were seemingly so desirable, if not the man. A very poor cause that detracts from real rape and abuse.

[Guest]

I disagree. If I drink too much, I’m responsible. Why am I drunk and vulnerable and he’s drunk and an assumed predator. Every night, you see girls going clubbing. No guys getting them drunk, they do it on their own. The guy is equally drunk. He may also be vulnerable due to life’s experiences. But, it's all his fault…. I disagree. I am not excused if I drive and hit someone. I’m held accountable. Then why not if I get myself fucked? For that,

[Guest]

One last thing and this is where responsibility comes in. A man gets a woman drunk, because he knows it increases the chance of her being vulnerable . He gets drunk so he has an excuse for not being responsible for taking advantage of that vulnerability. We then call it a 'social norm' because people get drunk, instead of what it really is, predatory behavior, sanctioned by society. We do this until one day we go, "Wow, that's really a load of crap," and we start a process. Change is a real process. It was not all that long ago, where if a woman dressed provocatively and was a victim of rape, the thought in most courtrooms was that she had it coming.

 

Perhaps not the guy you first had sex with, but the guy you woke to having sex with, make no mistake, he was raping you and he knew it. In my opinion.

 

There you go again, your starting premise, when a man gets a woman drunk. Oh, we are just too fragile to get drunk ourselves? We aren’t suppose to go into the bar without a man buying us drinks. You start with the premise that we, women, are simply not responsible. Next thing, you’ll be saying you, me and Dustin Hoffman, Robert DeNiro or whoever should all get the same pay for being in the same movie, get the same payment if there is a retake, another absurd statement coming from the metro group.

[lcmim 1,082]

There you go again, your starting premise, when a man gets a woman drunk. Oh, we are just too fragile to get drunk ourselves? We aren ’t suppose to go into the bar without a man buying us drinks. You start with the premise that we, women, are simply not responsible. Next thing, you’ll be saying you, me and Dustin Hoffman, Robert DeNiro or whoever should all get the same pay for being in the same movie, get the same payment if there is a retake, another absurd statement coming from the metro group.

 

You have just been added to the list of people I wish to meet this lifetime. Equal MEANS equal.

 

Now a sober anyone abusing a drunken anyone does need a trip to the woodshed. And no I have no sympathy for a drunken guy waking next to another drunken guy.