A problem of Intimacy

[KuriousKhajit 15]

Hello all,

 

I have a growing problem. Let me set the context.

 

My husband is a FANTASTIC lover, in bed and out. He stresses the importance of communication, is eager to make corrections/receive instruction, etc etc. We normally have sex 2-3x per day, more on the weekend.

 

However, over the past several months, my husband's job has also gotten more stressful, and so his sex drive is increasingly erratic. It's gotten to the point where over the past two weeks, we've had sex 3 times, and each time he has rubbed my clit aggressively for five seconds, and when I've squirmed away, inserted himself, thrust for about two minutes, then come, thank me with gratitude, and fall asleep. The rest of the time, he's been holed up in his office room with his computer watching youtube gaming walkthroughs. No cuddles, no movie-watching, no showers together. No housework communal chore-doing or cooking, either. I literally feel like the hired maid whose contract stipulates come-hole freedoms as required. (I, myself, have a full-time job and have been super stressed about it, and despite asking multiple times for a back-rub or something, he just says "Maybe some other time.")

 

The tipping point was when that happened today on his vacation-Friday day. I had asked him to "move slowly," partially because he's quite well-endowed, there was no foreplay, it was super unexpected, and the result was I had to adjust. He waited until I nudged against him, then started to aggressively pound me until he came.

 

I didn't come. I have MULTIPLE O's. I didn't come once. I can't remember the last time I came with him.

 

Add all this to the fact that we're going to be going to our first-ever house party tomorrow, hosted by some friends. The guest list looks like we'll be attracted to everyone there. We've been excited for a while, and talking about it with our hosts causes him to light up like nothing else will recently.

 

I don't know what to do. I don't know whether to wait quietly for the stress to decrease and have whatever happens tomorrow happen, to have a chat with him tonight and let him know (in constructive terms, of course) that I feel abandoned and taken for granted in bed and that I'm CRAZY STUPID HORNY AND I FEEL AWKWARD MASTURBATING IMMEDIATELY AFTER HE'S COME IN 5 SECONDS, and that I want to reconnect before we play tomorrow... or what.

 

I only know I feel resentful, blue-ovary'd, lonely, and disinclined to fuck him when he's disinclined to remember that my pleasure is not automatic.

 

Thoughts?.....

 

~ Lonely AND horny in not-Seattle.

[HornyToronto 51]

Wow!!! Cancel your party plans NOW!!! Work out the issues between the two of you BEFORE moving forward. Sounds like there is a lot going on and you NEED to get to the root of these issues FAST! I'm pretty sure he will be pissed, but it is something that HAS to be done if you are to remain a couple.

[luvin eye full 140]

Hmm - this is a problem to be sure.

 

So how long have you been in the LS and whats your experience in it. And did this start around ( with in the week ) of the two of you setting up this party?

 

It seems to us that there is more then the stress of work here - we have had our ups and downs because of over work or stress at work - that can count for the lack of intermediacy - but the way in which your beaning used ( taken for granted ) we have not come across this just from work related issues.

This sounds like there is something else at play and maybe on top of the work compounding the problem.

 

Even if we are right of base what you have posted is still not good for the two of you. I think you need to pull him up on this asap and have it out with him - let him know you feel like a door mat - and that your also worried about him as well.

 

Swinging will only mask this for a short time ( if it can even do that ) We think you should put the brakes on it for now.

 

Please give a update when you can.

[MadlyInLuv 94]

My advice would be to cancel the party plans, but then the OP was several days ago so that ship has sailed.

 

Our life gets busy sometimes too, but I've never had a situation where my wife didn't explain why she was not in the mood. I mean if she's super stressed and doesn't feel like doing anything she tells me all about it and why she's stressed and why she just wants to watch TV with me and go to sleep. Then, she will make time for us another day even if she's not 100% in the mood.

 

Anyway... communication is needed here. Actually communication and a pause is needed.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Since we don't check the board on the weekends, we're late for this party...Update?