New to the scene - is swinging the answer?

[nads0101 15]

Hi,

 

i'm new to the scene, just wanted some tips if anyone can advise i will be very greatful...

 

ive been married for a nearly 25yrs and enjoyed a healthy sex life (well i have at least) over the past few years my wife has started making the odd comment on occasion about the size of my penis (just under 5" and about same in girth) she has told me that for at least the first half of our marriage she never had a orgasm and only later did she start feeling the earth move... shes very reserved generally and does not mention sex much so when she unexpectedly mentioned penis size to me i was a little taken back. when she holds my penis i get the feeling shes constatly trying to 'measure up'. it is making me feel somewhat unsecure. i know shes not had another man before so i guess shes exchanging notes with her friends or reading up?? and mu guess is she probably want to feel what its like to fill her up?? My wife is rather on the large side and im just wondering if my penis is adequetley satisfying her? i do love her very much and would do anything to see her happy. shes not suggested she wants to be with anyone bigger but i'm just getting the feeling. what should i do? is swinging an option? how do i get her to open up and tell me what she wants? or should i just take the sublime messages that she wants more and arrange something?

 

any help would be appreciated

 

thank you

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Hello, and welcome to the site.

 

First, I doubt size matters like you think it does. There are many many aspects to pleasuring a woman that have nothing to do with penis size.

 

Second, if you aren't able to honestly communicate about how you each feel about your sex life together, then I assure you swinging is not going to work out well for you. Good communication is the foundation upon which swinging is built, and if you don't have it yet, then that's what you need to focus 100% of your efforts on, improving the communication.

 

Third, swinging and surprise are two words that should never be said together, so no, arranging something without her knowing is not a good idea. One, it goes back to the communication thing, since by their nature surprises don't involve two way communication, and second, doing something like you are suggesting is not showing much respect for your wife. If a couple are already experienced swingers then some sort of special surprise on something they have already proven they like and are into by their past actions, then that's one thing, but to hit someone cold with swinging, that's a good path to divorce.

 

Just talk to her, and keep talking, and the answers will come.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

I too want to welcome you to Swingersboard. You have come to the right place to ask your questions.

 

I perceive nothing in your story that indicates to me that your wife is associating the size of your penis with her ability to have an orgasm. And I perceive nothing that indicates your wife is signaling that she wants to experience sex with a different man. Take care that your imagination and your fears do not carry you away. I agree with what cplnuswing wrote: you should talk to your wife about your concerns and ask her about her feelings.

[Egi 15]

????

[nads0101 15]

Hi cplnuswing,

 

i appreciate your response; i guess its insecurity on my part. we have a loving relationship and communication other than 'intimate' communication is fine; my wifes temperament has been rather reserved when it comes to intimate talk. like i said only recently shes uttered words that surprised me only because its not been normal for her to say such...this then made me think that perhaps she wants more but cannot open up?? i guess i'm making the wrong judgement call... you are absolutely right i think work needs to be done on developing open uninhibited communications.

 

thanks once again for getting back i really appreciate the help

 

any suggestions on getting her to open up?

[nads0101 15]

Hi,

 

thank you very much for your advice; as you correctly say i need to control my 'imagination' and 'fear'.

i need to find ways of getting my wife to open up and talk freely about how she feels.

 

thanks once again