Watching husband with other women

[Shore2Please 611]

I am a wife who rather swap in separate rooms. I don’t want to watch what goes on between my husband and the other woman. I have also found that sex in front of others,including my husband, is quite different than being alone with a man. My husband understands and respects my wants even though he has said it’s silly. He has watched me before and he was excited by it.

We met a new couple last week. They were happy to be in separate rooms. They are in an open marriage and play separately. They said this was there first time playing as a couple. From what I understood neither has ever seen the other have sex. We ended up in adjoining hotel rooms with a door between the rooms. We decided to leave the door open and no going between the rooms during the night. The night went well. Actually very well. The next morning we wake up. He asks me if I want to go to the other room. I told him he could. In the end I watched my husband and his wife. I think I wanted to turn away, I couldn’t. Ladies how do you feel watching?

[adamgunn 1,460]

I'm glad you've found what you wanted. That's what the LifeStyle is all about. I respect that you don't care to watch your husband with another woman.

 

Two questions for you please.

1) Do you have any insight as to why you don't like to watch your husband as he's intimate with others?

2) Is it just your husband, or would you rather not watch any man with another woman?

[Shore2Please 611]

I'm glad you've found what you wanted. That's what the LifeStyle is all about. I respect that you don't care to watch your husband with another woman.

 

Two questions for you please.

1) Do you have any insight as to why you don't like to watch your husband as he's intimate with others?

2) Is it just your husband, or would you rather not watch any man with another woman?

 

You had me think why? I will try to answer even though as I write I’m not sure. Our experiences are mostly positive. The first time we did this was in separate cabins on a ship. It was a great experience. I was alone with a man for the first time since I was married. The next day, that man who treated me life a lover now used me in front of his wife and my husband. I also watched my husband act differently with the other wife. The sex we had as two couples in the same room was completely different than I had with our new friend or with my husband.

The new couple did nothing wrong. She is very pretty. I keep saying that is not the reason.

I don’t have a real answer if it is why I felt strange watching. That is the reason I am asking other women how they feel. There is plenty on here with men’s feelings.

[TricianMike 772]

You are right on so many levels. Many more men want to watch than women who want to watch. On here many more men write about watching. Mike makes comments to me that he loves watching me with women and men. Watching my husband took getting used to. I have even shared him with women. You are also correct that men act differently in a group vs alone. If you are alone with a man it is the real person you will see. That could be bad too. Not every man wants the romantic night. Some men when away from people watching can be sadistic something he might be afraid to act out in front of others. Some men like to show off in a group. Swinging is something that most times are a couple thing.

[couplers 4,640]

At first, I didn't like even the idea of my husband having sex with another woman, let alone watching him, despite the fact that he let me have a boyfriend, he would sometimes be there, and we began doing threesomes. Eventually I was intrigued by the idea and arranged for him to have sex with women I chose. Most of the girls that were eager to screw my husband didn't want me there, but a few did. I was jealous, but it became so that I started to like, even crave the jealousy. It makes no difference to us whether we are in the same room or even play separately. The other benefit to my husband having sex with other women then doing it while I was there and participating, is that it brought out my Lesbian side as well. Now I enjoy being with another woman almost as much as a man.

[agreatguy 269]

It's an interesting dynamic. I hope you get it figured out and will be interested to hear your thoughts as you progress.

[samandtammi 99]

We have been together for many years. I have known him for 15 years, we've been a real couple for about 6 years. We have been in the lifestyle the entire time, first with other people, now together. I still have a hard time watching him with other women. Sometimes it's fine (we only swap, same room, never play with singles) and other times I feel he is too passionate and it touches a button inside me. I always wonder if I am the only one who feels this way. It's like he's passionate with a new woman the way he used to be with me. We still have great sex together but it still bothers me at times.

[skyguy6977 88]

I have known women that keep their eyes closed when they have sex because they don't want to see their husbands have fun. I love watching my husband and being watched by him. it is very exciting and I think that is one thing that swinging is all about. We also both enjoy mmf, ffm, mfm and all other combinations so seeing and being seen is natural.

Deb

[samandtammi 99]

I love how passive agressive your response is. It bothers me only because I don't want to see him have fun, while you, love it! It's exciting! Thanks for the response. Next time you can skip my posts.

[Shore2Please 611]

We have been together for many years. I have known him for 15 years, we've been a real couple for about 6 years. We have been in the lifestyle the entire time, first with other people, now together. I still have a hard time watching him with other women. Sometimes it's fine (we only swap, same room, never play with singles) and other times I feel he is too passionate and it touches a button inside me. I always wonder if I am the only one who feels this way. It's like he's passionate with a new woman the way he used to be with me. We still have great sex together but it still bothers me at times.

I think I know how you feel and I understand it. I enjoy a different room play because me and my partner are not putting on a show. I also don’t want my husband to hold back his fun if he knows I’m watching. Maybe he can try new things or things we never do. I can’t deny my feeling I felt when I saw him in bed with a woman I liked on a social level. I think she enjoyed my husband as much as I enjoyed hers. I hope to get to a place where we can all play together the same way we play alone. Also she was more bi curious than I allowed myself to be.

[samandtammi 99]

Thank you Shore for an honest and helpful answer. Don't mean to get so angry with some responses but I can't figure out why people always need to flaunt how wonderful it is for them when I'm obviously struggling and looking for some insight.

 

I think it's worth a try to play separately. The notion of him playing with someone else doesn't bother me at all and like you said it will allow me the freedom to be more relaxed. I will give it a try! Thanks!

[PSULioness 847]

Though I am fine being in the same room being alone with another man is a completely different experience. I think the first time I saw my husband with someone there was a very strange feeling and I was the one who pushed for it. He didn’t want to have sex at first. He was happy to watch me and my girlfriend. I needed him to do it for some crazy reason. He was very hesitant. He thought I would be upset. To me not wanting to watch is a normal reaction if it’s the way you feel. It is one of the humps you need to accept if you want to swing.

[Eddiem 139]

This is common for most couples (M & F). My first time was watching my W with another man and it was a very strange feeling. No anger but some huge butterflies in my stomach. I had to time and time again focus on the fact that this is for her to enjoy. Well she did and TBH the most erotic part was when the guy positioned himself between her legs and entered her. Man... that was hot and just when I did not think it could get hotter she orgasmed and then he finished a few seconds later.

Though I am fine being in the same room being alone with another man is a completely different experience. I think the first time I saw my husband with someone there was a very strange feeling and I was the one who pushed for it. He didn’t want to have sex at first. He was happy to watch me and my girlfriend. I needed him to do it for some crazy reason. He was very hesitant. He thought I would be upset. To me not wanting to watch is a normal reaction if it’s the way you feel. It is one of the humps you need to accept if you want to swing.

[Guest]

Well, if he is with another woman, I am with another man so the only times it’s bothering me is when I’m done and the woman with him can be heard having orgasms, he’s quite oral and quite good at it. Then, I have to stop and think, why is she having more fun than I had. But, we do MFM far more than swaps so, those isolated instances don’t really bother me.

[adamgunn 1,460]

Not to be contrary, Chico, but you said, "why is she having more fun than I had". That sort of makes it into a competition, doesn't it. It seems to me that's contrary to the spirit of the LifeStyle, IMHO.

 

I do hope both of you have a lot of fun with this hobby.

[Guest]

Not to be contrary, Chico, but you said, "why is she having more fun than I had". That sort of makes it into a competition, doesn't it. It seems to me that's contrary to the spirit of the LifeStyle, IMHO.

 

No, not a competitive situation at all, just simply some sense of situational awareness.

[samandtammi 99]

Ok, tonight is a night out! I will suggest separate rooms and see if it makes me feel more relaxed. Like I said, I don't always feel this way, it's very situational and I can't figure out what the trigger is...

[JessicaJamison 861]

On 3/15/2018 at 11:24 AM, Shore2Please said:

I am a wife who rather swap in separate rooms. I don’t want to watch what goes on between my husband and the other woman. I have also found that sex in front of others,including my husband, is quite different than being alone with a man. My husband understands and respects my wants even though he has said it’s silly. He has watched me before and he was excited by it.

We met a new couple last week. They were happy to be in separate rooms. They are in an open marriage and play separately. They said this was there first time playing as a couple. From what I understood neither has ever seen the other have sex. We ended up in adjoining hotel rooms with a door between the rooms. We decided to leave the door open and no going between the rooms during the night. The night went well. Actually very well. The next morning we wake up. He asks me if I want to go to the other room. I told him he could. In the end I watched my husband and his wife. I think I wanted to turn away, I couldn’t. Ladies how do you feel watching?

So I can watch just fine, but being watched is a nightmare.  I can't get out of my own head, I'm worried about whether I look sexy or fat, am I making to much noise or not enough.  Am I making my husband or this guys wife jealous?  Can they see my cellulite?  What did I just say, that sounds weird why did I say that.  Can they see my butthole?  OMG I wanna die!  Do I smell?  Etc etc etc.  So I'm doing the separate rooms till I die.