What are your signals

[agreatguy 269]

My wife and I have only had one full swap so far which was better than either of us had even imagined. Looking back on it I wasn't nearly as connected with my play partner as my wife was with hers though I still had a great time. I think I was just more interested in watching her this first time and making sure she was enjoying herself. She absolutely did enjoy herself and it was fun to watch. She needs to know that I will always be there with her so I was also trying to fill that need. Later in the evening I actually apologized to my partner for not being as attentive to her and explained that it was our first swap. She was understanding and excited to know that they busted our cherry.

 

I want to be able to enjoy watching my wife but also be able to enjoy and satisfy my partner.

 

Have any of you experienced, same room, full swap couples been through this?

1)What do you do to stay connected with your Husband or Wife and still give your play partner the attention they deserve. Is close proximity enough?

 

2)What do you do if you aren't connected with your partner and would like to switch up or move things along? I would never ask my wife to quit what she's doing with her partner if she seems to be enjoying herself but I wasn't as connected as I thought I might be with mine. I don't want to ruin her good time just because mine isn't as fun. Do you just go through the motions and chalk it up as taking one for the team.

 

Our first swap was awesome. I'd be naive to think they will all be like that. Just want to get some advice to build a framework on in case I need it.

[adamgunn 1,461]

Well, the good news is that for nearly everyone the first time is overwhelming. As you continue, the idea of your wife making love with someone else *should* become a little more common, and that means you'll be able to pay the attention to your partner that she deserves. It just takes a little time.

 

And if you are into watching your wife, you might try to set up an MFM threesome, assuming she's willing. That will give you a great opportunity to watch your wife without the distraction of another woman there.

 

The best of luck!

[agreatguy 269]

Thanks,

MFM isn't out of the question at all. I do want to play too though.

 

Regarding the second question. We like to go to clubs. The time spent engaging can be pretty quick, physical attraction is there and before you know it you find yourselves in a same room swap. Have you ever gotten to that point, maybe your spouse is already involved, and thought "I'm just not that into her/him as I thought I was and would like for this to be over" only to look over at your spouse to see them having a great time? I'm wondering what signals couples have. Is it a glance, a stare, a touch, a phrase, a Carol Burnett earlobe tug(showing my age now). We've got it down how we get out of a conversation one of us doesn't want to be in or if we just need to be alone to make sure we are on the same page moving forward with a specific phrase but I don't think her saying "I want to go have a smoke" while I'm fully engaged is going to go over very well, Hell I might not even hear it. What's your signal to say let's move this along?

[njbm 2,903]

We have a physical signal which I cannot divulge in which we advise each other if we would play with another couple. It is too awkward to whisper "what do you want to do" in front of other people. Two yesses and we play, one or two nos and we don't.

[adamgunn 1,461]

Honestly, I've never had the problem of not being into a person once the back hits the mat. Maybe it's because I always did a good job of ensuring I wanted to before I went into the room, maybe it's because I'm not picky. If I'm involved with a woman I'll find a way to have fun.

[agreatguy 269]

Honestly, I've never had the problem of not being into a person once the back hits the mat. Maybe it's because I always did a good job of ensuring I wanted to before I went into the room, maybe it's because I'm not picky. If I'm involved with a woman I'll find a way to have fun.

 

What about your wife? Has she always never had a problem?

I guess the question was really more about subtle communication techniques between the couple and how they stay connected during a swap if that is something that is important to them. I completely understand that for some it's not important but those couples are probably comfortable with separate room swap and cool with just reconnecting later.

[adamgunn 1,461]

Yes, I think I can say my wife and I were always on the same page.

 

If the encounter was at a club, we always found a way to sneak away from the other couple for a couple of seconds and agree on 'yes' or 'no.'

 

If we met them for drinks, we had a few code words that would indicate our preference. As an example, she would say to the group, "Hey, do you guys ever go to the zoo? I like the elephants." Elephant being the key word. Eventually I would reply with my favorite animal. If I said "Gorilla" I was into it, if I said "Bear" I was vetoing it.

 

There's lots of way that you can communicate with other couples around without them knowing about it. A pull on your ear. Stroking the other potential partner's shoulder. Just make sure you both know the signals before the meet.