Stage Fright and Swinging

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I know what you are thinking... what does a person standing on stage scared to death have to do with swinging. Well... this is a different kind of stage fright, I call it this for lack of a better term.

 

This is something that most people think of in swinging as only affecting the men. Here they are ready to play with some new woman, a woman they have wanted for hours, month's or even years, and just when everything is falling into place and it's time to perform they can't. How many times have we seen this, or had it happen to us. I know I've seen it plenty, and the thing is it's not the guys fault, and it's not the girls fault either. I mentioned earlier that this affects more than the men, and it does because women have the same problem, it's just not physically visible. Usually with us it's shows itself in that we aren't able to cum.

 

What causes this? you ask. Simple, not being comfortable in your environment. In a normal dating relationship you don't have sex with a person until you are comfortable with them, this might be the first date, or it might be 3 months later, at any rate, by the time you get around to swinging you are definitely comfortable with your partner. You know what to expect. When it comes to swinging you could be playing with someone you barely know (if at all), that you only met an hour before and haven't really even talked to. How comfortable can you be, completely naked trying to have sex with what is basically a perfect stranger? Ok, so some people can, but most can't.

 

So what is my advice? The same as my advice has often been. Get to know the person you are with ahead of time, my usual rule is 3 dates (but that's just me). At any rate be comfortable with who you are with. If you aren't comfortable, don't do it (or her or him). If all else fails, there's always Viagra... I hear it's helped many men at least stay hard (but it doesn't help them cum). And hey, remember... you aren't alone, it's actually quite common.

 

This should be looked at from another angle as well, a warning so to speak to all the single guys out there who think swinging and group sex would be just SOOO cool. Things are much different in real life than in fantasy.

[J&Wu 408]

Interesting, I have had speaker stage fright since a high school debate freeze up. Strangely with fucking the bigger the audience the better.

[agreatguy 269]

Interesting, I have had speaker stage fright since a high school debate freeze up. Strangely with fucking the bigger the audience the better.

 

Same here, we are definitely exhibitionists. Having an audience is a huge turn on. Just don't ask me to give a powerpoint presentation.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Same here, we are definitely exhibitionists. Having an audience is a huge turn on. Just don't ask me to give a powerpoint presentation.

You guys have given me something to ponder. Next time I see somebody give a great PowrPoint, I’ll be speculating that the person is in no way an exhibitionist.

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

You guys have given me something to ponder. Next time I see somebody give a great PowrPoint, I’ll be speculating that the person is in no way an exhibitionist.

 

On my next lecture tour, I have five lectures (PowerPoint, of course; Prezi makes us dizzy) to deliver in two days. We like audiences.

[findinganswers 369]

Our First was with a couple we knew forever. She is my wife’s best friend. We have been going out socially with them since before they were married. It’s her second marriage. As well as I know them I never suspected they were swingers. My wife knew before me. Stage Fright? Damn yes. I couldn’t believe how I didn’t know what was expected of me. What I should or shouldn’t do. Unfortunately my wife never discussed boundaries. Kissing? Oral? Condoms? Do I watch my wife? All this going through my head. Fortunately nature took over. I was immediately hard, I tried to hide that at first. Luckily it all worked out.