Swinging rules for single males

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

1) Don’t be lecherous.

 

2) There are a zillion single guys out there. Make yourself stand out from the crowd in your profile. Have a complete and well thought-out profile, not just one-sentence answers to the essay questions. Don't get to into the sex acts themselves, tell what you have to bring to the table beside a great tongue and a huge cock. Virtually every profile goes on and on about how they love to give and receive oral. Not original. Be different. Keep it PG-rated and upscale. Also, write your profile in a word processing program and grammar and spell check it, then cut and paste. A quickly written, misspelled, profile with poor grammar says allot about your commitment to the whole deal. Quickly written profiles look like some guy threw it up on Wednesday night because he came across the site while looking at porn, he was über-horny and was hoping to find a couple to get with by Friday.

 

3) Some are turned-on by cock size and cock shots. Most couples are not. Don't list the size of your dick in your profile. Put a G or PG photo in your profile, head and full body. If a couple is really into the size thing they'll ask you. Otherwise assume that whatever your cock size is, is just fine if they like everything else about you. I think this is a common misconception for single guys wanting to get into the swinging world. They think all that counts is their dick, and couples must be looking for a bigger one then hubby has. Sometimes true, mostly not. Browse some couple profiles and only infrequently will you find the size of the husband's cock listed. Take this as your cue. In most cases its not the cock, it’s the person it’s attached to we’re interested in.

 

4) Be a paid member of a site. Free members go back the über-horny guy trying to get laid by the weekend. The way we see it, if you are willing to drop the cash to be a paid member, on the remote chance you'll get lucky, you are more serious about pursuing the lifestyle and thus have a better chance with us.

 

5) Don't mass email a bunch of couples. Yes, we know each other and we compare notes. Before we answer an email from a single male we check with some friends and see if they got an email from him too. If they did, "Sorry, not interested” is the reply. It shows that we weren't special and all the crap about the Mrs. being sexy and hot was just a line of hooky spewed by a horny guy at 1:00 AM.

 

6) Speaking of that, I would rather see an email from a single guy saying something like "you are an attractive couple and I'd like to get to know you" rather than "she is so hot, I'd like to get with you guys." When I see that I think to myself, “Thanks, I think my wife is hot, too, but I'm not her pimp. I’m as much a part of this as she is. You are not “getting” with my wife, you are “getting” with us.” Once again, “Sorry, no thanks”.

 

7) Be respectful. It amazes me the stuff a guy will say to us (meaning Mrs. WS) because we are swingers. Stuff he’d never say to a single girl he was trying to pick-up because he’d get shot down if he did. So why does he think it will work with my wife? Yes, we’re in this for sexual fun, but she is my wife, I am her husband. Treat her, and I, with the respect we and our relationship deserve and you might just have the time of your life.

 

8) Understand your role in the big scheme of things. As much as your fantasy is to get kinky with a couple, their fantasy is a threesome with another male. You are helping them fulfill their fantasies, and in turn they’ll help you fulfill yours.

 

9) Find the swinger parties in your area and attend them. Not just the naked parties, but meet and greets where nothing is going on but talking. This is one of the best ways to get in. Just be charming and not pushy. We know you want to get laid and we can help you with that if we like you.

 

10) If you happen to hit it off with a couple, offer to pay at least ½ of the hotel room. It’s always appreciated.

 

 

Some more rules...

 

Don't sit at the bar all night and not approach a couple and expect to swing with them later in the evening

 

Do approach a couple and introduce yourself early. A sincere compliment to the female goes a long way. (You may get shot down but nothing ventured nothing gained).

 

Don't expect too much on your first meeting with a couple. We meet a single guy who made a sincere compliment to my wife. We wouldn't consider sharing a room on that first meeting but after a second meeting who knows.

 

Do find common interest with the couple. no matter how much of a stud you are people find other people who have similar interest fun to be with.

 

Do be honest and frank (not crude) about what your looking for sexually. We're there for a reason an so are you; were not expecting a choir boy at a swingers

club.

 

Just because I smile and say hello, does NOT mean "take me, take me, take me! I want your hot love muscle right now!"

 

When I say "No, thank you" in front of my husband, DO NOT assume I am then going to jump you and f#*k your brains out the minute hubby leaves the general vicinity!

 

NO MEANS NO!!!! On a date, at a dance club, at the grocery store, at a party, OR in a swinger's club!

 

Just because I may occasionally play with someone besides my husband SURE AS HELL does not mean I WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU!

 

My body is MINE! DO NOT touch it unless I tell you it's okay to.

 

If, after both my husband and I getting to know you, we decide to include you in OUR sexual play activities, REALIZE this is an extremely RARE PRIVILEGE! And treat it as such! Show us BOTH respect!

 

If we DO decide to play with you, and you do not treat it as the privilege it is, but instead talk about it to everyone else you know, TRUST ME, we will be your LAST swinging partners. No one likes guys who kiss & tell!

 

If, on the other hand, we decide to play with you, and you are every bit as mature and respectful as we hope, and we all have a wonderful time, you can probably look forward to many more good times ahead!

 

Don't think because I have played with you before that you have the right to play with me every time we see each other. Don't flatter yourself. You may not have been that good.

 

Just because I talk to you or dance with you doesn't give you the right to fondle me or touch me or kiss me. Ask first. Be a gentleman.

 

If I invite you to play with me either alone or with myself and my partner, do not think you will be running the show. We play on my terms, by my rules; or we don't play.

 

Use condoms all the time! Or we don't play, no matter how cute or sexy you are!

 

Do not approach only my wife, we are a couple, and since I have final say on who I share her with, it's best to approach me first.

 

Do not tell my wife that you can give her something she has never had before...it can't be done.

 

Do not be possessive with my wife...don't touch, kiss, or fondle her unless she says it's okay to do so.

 

Don't be pushy, we will let you know if we are interested in inviting you to play with us. (Begging is so unattractive, don't you think).

 

Remember she is MY WIFE, not a single female and we are a couple, show respect and be a gentleman.

 

The single male should be polite. - Be able to engage in small-talk with your "date(s)". If it's a couple, the small-talk should include the male as well as the female and her breasts. You have to impress two people in that case. Hold the door open for them if you enter someplace at the same time. If you're sitting down when you meet them, stand up and introduce yourself with a firm handshake. Don't stare lasciviously at the female (and/or male) upon first meeting. You can be flirty, but don't be crude. Take the rules your mother taught you -- or should've taught you -- and apply them very generously.

 

The single male should be clean. - Shower before a potential meeting. Use deodorant. Smell good but not overpowering. Make sure the nose and ear-hairs -- and other areas if necessary or desired -- are trimmed. Have the hair washed and clean and in an attractive style for you. If you're bald and/or balding, make sure things look good in that area (although I've heard that some women prefer a day or two's growth if they get a dome-ride).

The single male should dress appropriately for the occasion. - Gauge the situation and dress appropriately. If you're invited to a swing biker rally or a swinger nudist resort, then dress down or not at all. If you go to a club -- outside of theme nights -- dress to the high-end of the local standard. If you look better than the local competition, then that's a plus. If there's a theme night, it's best to at least meet the theme halfway...it shows that you're a good sport. Women focus on shoes...unless you're in costume and it requires something different, make sure your shoes are at least in presentable condition, if not polished to a high gloss.

 

The single male should live up to his promises. - If you commit to meeting the swinging couple or single female, then make sure you are there on time. If you have promised the amazing tongue or the long-lasting boner and/or the big cock and/or the special technique, then you better come through with any or all of those. You might get a second-chance with some folks, but word gets around...

 

I'm a single male, how can I get involved in the lifestyle? With Luck. As a single male, if you do manage to get involved in the lifestyle then it is a privilege and requires the utmost in discretion. There are couples out there who are looking for single males, those are the ads you should answer. Don't answer ads that aren't looking for single males. If you are good-looking, clean, honest & discrete you will have the best chance. Something else that will help you is if you can get a girlfriend that is willing to swing with you, then you would be a couple. Many couples look at it as "if he can't even get a girlfriend, why would we want him?" There are couples out there that are looking for single men. Guys that are open and honest and not just out looking for an easy lay will have the best chance at being accepted by these couples. I suggest that if you really want to get involved in the lifestyle you try contacting couples in your area that are seeking single men, and let them know that you are interested. There are many tips throughout the Swingers Board to help you in how to respond to an ad as well as in placing your own. However you will probably have a much better chance by responding to other people's ads. There are many sites out there with swingers personals and you should check out the various ones as different people place ads on different ones. You can find a list of many of them on the Swingers Board links page. You should also check the club listings for swinger clubs in your area that accept single males. Please do not consider trying to get into the swinging lifestyle if you think this will be an easy way for you to get laid. That is not what this is about. This is about couples enjoying their sexual fantasies with other people that can not be acted out with just the two of them. Since there are many couples that desire MFM 3-somes or where the husband enjoys seeing his wife with another male there is a place for single males in this lifestyle, as long as the single male in question realizes what it is.

[LecrameMark 15]

There is a point in what you wrote, if in future me and my wife are gonna meet singles, we'll look for them by your criteria.

[jajenn2006 15]

I have recently gotten back into swinging as a man. I seem to be doing very well. I'm no drama,I'm polite, Respectful of both the husband and the wife. Be honest and upfront with what you are seeking, No need to be vulgar. We are all aware we are into swinging to have great sex. Don't just have dick pics up either.

[padoc 1,703]

"I have recently gotten back into swinging as a man" That sentence begs the question….what were you before???

[Erik13 157]

Sorry, but from three short years experience in the lifestyle with my wife.....single men are not swingers.

[padoc 1,703]

Overall, we tend to agree with the above post.

[Sunday 119]

We went to a club once that unbeknownst to us, allowed single males. It was freak-show. We didn't even get naked and left for another club after about 20 minutes.

 

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Sorry, but from three short years experience in the lifestyle with my wife.....single men are not swingers.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.... this question was settled.

 

I hate to answer a question with a question BUT, are there any women who might be considered swingers? Allow me to pose another question. Why are Swingersboard members repeatedly referring to "unicorns" with an implied context of "swinger woman"?

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Help, Shark!

 

This is the latest in my series of stories that are meant to warn men, "don't act this way." 

 

This afternoon I left my wife at the clothing-optional resort's pool and walked back to our condo. When she returned to the condo, she told me that my backside had not even yet disappeared from sight when this guy zeroed in on her. After a little chit chat (he had not said a word while I was in the pool) he started in to flirting with her asking if she would like if he massaged her shoulders. She knew exactly what he was after and recommended that he go find a different pool if he was going to pursue females. 

 

Now understand, my wife and I know more than one single man who is in the lifestyle. We both believe that single men have places to fit. But we do not believe that sharks and vultures have places in the lifestyle. 

[AndrewandAnn 360]

On 1/29/2020 at 3:09 PM, Erik13 said:

Sorry, but from three short years experience in the lifestyle with my wife.....single men are not swingers.

Curious...

 

Would you say the same thing about single women?

 

In our minds, there is a great difference between being single and being a swinger.  The majority of single people (both women and men) we know are serial monogamists and are more interested in forming lasting relationships rather than simply having sex.

 

But, perhaps that is because, at our stage of life, the majority of single people we know are so due to divorce or death of a spouse. Maybe if we were younger, we would have a different perspective.

[Anon321 521]

On 1/29/2020 at 5:16 PM, Sunday said:

We went to a club once that unbeknownst to us, allowed single males. It was freak-show. We didn't even get naked and left for another club after about 20 minutes.

 

One of the clubs we go to is like that.  Couples and single women get in for free and single men get charged a high rate of entrance but it doesn't stop them.  Definitely good if you're seeking a gangbang or into being watched by a group of guys.  But it can be overwhelming for some.