Breaking Into Swinging: Advice for Single Men

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

As the webmaster of a couple of swinger related websites a question I get very often is, "How does a single male get into the lifestyle?" To be honest there is no "easy" answer to this question. The truth is, the answer lies almost 90% in luck. I can let you in on a few tips that might help you in your exploration of the swinging lifestyle though.

 

Before you, the single guy, try to make a leap into the swinger's lifestyle there are a few things that you should be aware of and consider, many that most guys never think of. The first thing that you should realize is that swinging is basically a couples activity. There has always been a debate over whether single guys who do get into the lifestyle are actually swingers or if they are just LUCKY. Personally, I think it depends on their perspective. Swinging is about the fulfilling and sharing of fantasies. If you enter the lifestyle with the idea in your head that you are looking to help others fulfill their fantasies while fulfilling your own, then yes I believe you are a swinger. If, however, you are attempting to enter the lifestyle with only the thought that it's an easy way to get laid, not only are you not a swinger but you are sadly mistaken.

 

As you are probably already aware it's not easy for a single guy to get into the lifestyle; however, you might not be aware of the simple reason as why. Go back to my earlier statement that swinging is mainly a couples activity and it is about fulfilling fantasies. Yes, there are many couples out there who have fantasies, which involve and extra male or 4 or 5 even. However, for every couple out there looking to include males in their playtime, there are at least 10 males looking to fill that one spot. So, as you can see

You have some competition.

 

So how do you beat out the competition? There are two things that will get you in the door the fastest; not every guy fits the description. What are they? The first is a big cock. Of course size is relative, but with big we are usually talking 8 inches or more long and/or 2" in diameter. The other is if you are black, basically a lot of women have a fantasy about doing a black man. For some it's the stereotype of the big black cock, for others it's the thought of doing something taboo. There are probably as many reasons as there are women. Whatever the reason if you are black or have a large cock your chances of getting into the lifestyle are much better than average.

 

What if you don't fit in the above categories? All is not completely lost. If you are a decent looking guy with good hygiene and a good personality your chances are still pretty good. The key is really in your attitude though. If you are simply looking to get laid that will show and it will decrease your chances. If you are honestly looking to fulfill fantasies both of your own and others and show that you are there as much for them as for yourself you will do well.

 

Where do you start? There are two things you can do, the first would be to post an ad, the second would be to search ads that are already out there from couples seeking males and answer those that you qualify for. When looking through ads that are already out there, read the ads carefully. Make sure you understand what the couple is looking for and make sure that you qualify. If they aren't seeking males, don't respond to the ad. If they are only seeking black males and you are white don't assume that you are special and just because you are nice they will want you. If you don't fit what they are looking for don't respond to the ad.

 

When you do respond, don't just write an email or letter saying how much you'd like to do the wife. Tell them about yourself, provide a good description of who you are, what you look like and where you are coming from (in regards to the lifestyle). If possible, include a g-rated full-body or head shot photo. A g-rated photo that includes your face will get you a LOT further than just a pic of your dick. Unless the couple requested a pic of your dick, don't send it. Save the explicit pics for after you've talked with them and they have asked for it.

 

Posting your own ad. Along with responding to ads that are already out there, you might want to post your own ad. I will tell you though that with the number of male seeking ads already out there you will probably have much better luck responding to ads than posting your own, but don't let that keep you from posting. Don't limit yourself to one site or magazine; post your ad in as many places as possible to ensure that it is seen by as many people as possible. Remember, not everyone surfs the same sites or reads the same magazines.

 

When posting your ad, post as much information about yourself as possible. Give a good description of yourself as well as good description of the type of encounter you are looking for. Are you looking to get involved with a couple long-term? Or, just a one-night fantasy fulfillment? Also, provide a good idea of your location; I realize if you live in a small town you might not want to state the name of your town, but at least include the name of a larger town near you. If you are willing to travel, make that clear. If you can host activities at your home, state that. Be honest in your ad. If you are a married guy swinging without your wife be honest about that fact. However, I must point out that if you are a married guy swinging without your wife and you do not have her consent to do so then you are NOT swinging, you are cheating and most swingers will not look to kindly on that. Remember swinging is about honest and open relationships, not lying and cheating. Don't forget the picture. When posting your own ad I realize this might be a little iffy. Not everyone wants to post their face on the net or in a magazine. My suggestion here is to post a full-body shot with your face blocked if you are worried about discretion. Then once you get a response you can send them your face shot.

 

So, don't give up hope. If you really want to join the swinger lifestyle you can. It might take some time, but as long as you keep a good attitude and keep pluggin away you'll get there eventually.