Having fun swinging!

[M1F2KTJ 473]

Because I shared my wife with him and she totally enjoyed getting fucked by him and had an orgasm with him, he now has developed an attitude toward us as if he can come over anytime he wants to to fuck my wife whenever he is in the mood and it is supposed to be ok with me and her.

 

There have been times when he has interrupted a pleasant weekend by showing up drunk to fuck her. We are ok with partying and have never pushed him away. She loves getting fucked by him and I love watching it. I'm worried that he will show up unexpectedly at a party with friends or family.

 

He has asked her out on dates to be alone with him without me. I'm ok if she spends time with him without me being there and watching but she doesn't feel safe being alone with him. She doesn't like him disrespecting me. We both try to keep things positive and fun for all of us.

 

We're disappointed in what we thought would be something fun to do has turned into some kind of power play with him. I think he feels as if we are doing this because I'm inadequate. That I can't satisfy her the way he does. He's right. Having sex with him is not the same as having sex with me.

 

We found a good playmate. He is very good at fucking. He stays hard and doesn't stop until she is satisfied. He fucks her like a slut and she loves that. His personality needs a little work.

 

I think my wife and I might have given him the wrong impression. My wife and I joke that he needs to get out more. We're hoping that the more experiences we share the more he will "settle down" and relax. I think he is trying to put on a show for us. He's doing a damn good job! He is doing his best to satisfy our fantasies. I need to find a way for the two of us to get together to have a "man to man" talk .

[padoc 1,703]

The guy has a blood volume issue. He doesn't have enough to allow both his dick to get hard and his brain to function simultaneously. Add to that, he has no respect for you or for your marriage or even for the sanctity of your home. I can't see why you even want him involved with you two. He's clearly nothing but trouble. The man to man talk should consist of 1 sentence. "Don't ever show up at our door uninvited again and don't expect an invitation any time soon."

[lcmim 1,083]

To the curb.

[JandKinBoise 858]

And this is the problem with single guys. We learned that to keep them in check, we would not see them more than every other month or so. More than that and they started to see themselves as more than the toy they were recruited to be.

[machiavel55 81]

...........I think he feels as if we are doing this because I'm inadequate. That I can't satisfy her the way he does. He's right. Having sex with him is not the same as having sex with me. .

 

Get a restraining order! You really don't need someone like that and if your wife really doesn't like him disrespecting you, why does she still have sex with him? She should turn him down and backup her words.

Also, I'm curious, you say he's right about you not being able to satisfy her like he does...is that your wife's opinion too?

[lcmim 1,083]

"Also, I'm curious, you say he's right about you not being able to satisfy her like he does...is that your wife's opinion too?"

 

That is a tricky phrase he used there.

 

It could mean that he does a better job or satisfies her more thoroughly than her husband.

 

It could also be that he satisfies her differently.

 

In the first case I would have to step up my game, and I would want to.

In the second case, that is part of the reason we do this.

[EastInWest 1,524]

Once upon a time, before cell phones, it was acceptable to knock on someone's door to see if they were home and wanted to visit. Even in vanilla circles, that is weird now. Showing up drunk is especially weird. A play partner showing up drunk in someone's vanilla world is so tonedeaf I can't imagine why you'd want to try to salvage this.

 

( I always liked this comedy bit on the subject of "dropping by":

)

 

I'd chalk it up to someone having too much anxiety and overthinking the sex, which isn't noise you need in your life.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

"Don't ever show up at our door uninvited again and don't expect an invitation any time soon."

 

I agree. My wife and I may have given the wrong impression that it was o.k. to do something like that. I/we don't take him too seriously. He seems to be energized by the experience. We're going to work it out.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

Get a restraining order! You really don't need someone like that and if your wife really doesn't like him disrespecting you, why does she still have sex with him? She should turn him down and backup her words.

Also, I'm curious, you say he's right about you not being able to satisfy her like he does...is that your wife's opinion too?

 

It's not as serious as it sounds. Of course she doesn't like him disrespecting me. It is more from our perspective than his. I don't think he thinks that what he is doing is disrespectful. We think it comes from a lack of experience. That's why we joked that he needs to get out more .

 

When I said that I'm not able to satisfy her the way he does just means that her experience with him is different not better.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

Showing up drunk is especially weird.

 

I'm sorry. I wasn't talking about obnoxious or falling down, slurring words, drunk. Just that we got the impression that he had a few drinks before he came over. And yes his drinking before coming over may have been due to anxiety or he might have thought that we might like to party. It was what I was referring to about giving him the wrong impression.

[lcmim 1,083]

I do understand the whole "benefit of the doubt" thing. I also very well understand looking for the source of the problem within ourselves first. These are both laudable and civilized.

 

They are also sometimes NOT the best response,

 

Be Careful.

[CandDinCo 69]

Seems to me that he sees your relationship with your wife as a cuckold relationship rather than a hot wife relationship. There is a big difference. Because you have allowed him to have her whenever he wants and saying nothing he sees you as the beta male and himself the alpha. You already said he disrespects you. In his mind that's his pussy now and he can use it whenever he wants.

 

I suggest taking charge, standing up to him, and kicking him to the curb. I bet your wife will be a little turned on by you taking charge of the situation. After all, that's what turns her on about him.

 

After that, look for a play partner who respects your marraige. That's when the hot wife relationship starts.

[pete c 34]

Sounds like this guy needs to be kicked to the curb. The problem isn’t inexperience. The problem is, as has been pointed out, that’s his pussy now. My fear is that your wife might be OK with it.

[kellimc 227]

Seems to me that he sees your relationship with your wife as a cuckold relationship rather than a hot wife relationship.

 

This is exactly right. I've seen it a couple of times before. Some single guys in the lifestyle believe that a couple who play with a single male do so only because the male half of the couple can't satisfy the female half. It won't do any good to change the nature of your relationship with him. You have to end the relationship. He does not respect you and never will.