Bad fantasies?

[Wavescrashing 15]

New here and I have a long story.

 

I'm 35 but look young like 20. My husband and I have 5 kids.

 

Apparently my husband has fantasies I'm not interested in becoming reality. He went to a swinger party. He did this over 2 yrs ago and never told me because he said I'd flip out. He didn't do anything there but talk to men about why he went. I found out two nights ago about this. We have had issues with sex. Me not being in the mood ever. Finally I'm starting to want sex. I will never be interested in what he likes so now he feels shame. He doesn't want to talk to me about the forums or what he wants me to try which is just talk to people, get their number. But I have my own fantasies and they are not the Norm.

 

I have a thing for his Nephew. Idk why, but we have flirted, he's seen my ass pics on ig. He's not even past 18 but looks older then his age. I love attention from younger guys. It makes me feel young and that I'm still attractive after 5 kids. I don't feel like I'm a Mom. My husband says its gross that it is his nephew but it is ok for me to fuck a total stranger who is 16, 17, 18 etc.

 

Now I feel shame too. I feel like wanting attention from him is wrong and I'm going to hell now. I can't shake the feeling why I only want it from him. We never done anything but talk or smoke weed. My fantasy are completely different then his. Mine is surrounded by a person who's not even close to my age. Being with someone who is younger. I just wanted to come here and get confirmation I'm fucked in the head and I should stop flirting.

[padoc 1,704]

Holy crap! There are so many red flags here I thought I was seeing a picture of the Kremlin from 1967.

[Wavescrashing 15]

Holy crap! There are so many red flags here I thought I was seeing a picture of the Kremlin from 1967.

Idk what your talking about.. Can't you just answer my post.

[padoc 1,704]

"I just wanted to come here and get confirmation I'm fucked in the head and I should stop flirting." I think I DID answer your post.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Swinging only works when a couple has exceptional communication skills and a huge amount of love and trust. Anything less is going to eventually be a trainwreck. Your husband wasn't looking to swing, he was looking to cheat and kept it a secret from you for two years...but that's okay because you sound like you are looking to cheat as well, but only with a minor (against the law). Having a fantasy about having sex with a minor is a fantasy that many people do have, however following through with it is against the law to protect the minors from this. Nothing good will come from this. You both need to talk to each other and work on improving your relationship...probably using professionals to help with the conversation. Are you 'fucked in the head'...too early to tell, but you should stop the flirting. This is sending confusing signals to a boy that is running on too many out of control hormones to start with. One thing that is easy to spot is that your relationship is in serious trouble and needs to be worked on ASAP. Good luck, we wish you both the best in repairing your relationship for the five kids.