Should I let my wife shag another man

[Bigjohn2015 16]

Hi everyone

I have been thinking for awhile about my wife fucking another male. It turns me on to think about it and I know it turns her on cos when I mention it to her she gets very wet very quickly but tells me that my cock is enough for her.

Do U think I’m wrong to let her fuck another male for my pleasure or not.

I have organised a male to come over and to massage her and to se if she goes any futher with him but only time will tell

[WesternSwing 504]

Should you let her? Yes, if it's both of your fantasy and you've thoroughly talked it through beforehand. Watching your partner fuck someone else will bring many feelings to the surface, both good and bad, and it's better to cover the "what-if's" beforehand than play damaage control and pick-up the pieces afterward.

 

Second, is she on-board with this massage arrangement and seeing where it goes, also? It rarely works-out when these things are a surprise.

 

Again, talk, talk, talk and then talk some more. Then fuck other people once the talking is done and you are both on the same page about what you want to happen and ultimately what you want to get from this.

 

 

Good luck.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Welcome to the Swingers Board! Great advice above from WesternSwing

 

Do U think I’m wrong to let her fuck another male for my pleasure or not.

 

Swinging needs to be for both of you and something you both found pleasurable. While it's not uncommon for one partner to be ahead of the other when first starting out, for couples who are successful in swinging after a little time that evens out and both enjoy it just as much as the other, and in fact, seeing your partner happy and enjoying it brings you as much or more enjoyment yourself than anything you are getting out of it personally.

[Guest]

“Letting her” implies that she is actively wanting to and asking you if she may. Is that the situation or is this more of a fantasy of yours that you want her to adopt or even pursue?

[WesternSwing 504]

“Letting her” implies that she is actively wanting to and asking you if she may. Is that the situation or is this more of a fantasy of yours that you want her to adopt or even pursue?

 

"Letting her" also, to me, implies that she's a possession, like a lawnmower to be loaned to your neighbor. I've always disliked this term. I don't feel you "let" your partner do anything. They are their own being with their own self-governance and they can do whatever they please. Now if they choose to or not is also their decision. Just because someone has the freedom to fuck someone else doesn't mean they will or even want to. Hell, they could leave you tomorrow or they will stay with you, and it's their choice, not yours. I've always thought that one of the perks of having an open relationship is that the door is fully open for someone to walk away, and they don't. That's how you know they really love and care about you.

[rjmax2003 21]

We just got back from our first trip to hedo… we have been nudists, curious and discussed the lifestyle but no experience at all with others... The first night there we met a nice couple at dinner, and met them to go to the pool afterwards. Got in the hot tub.. and started to talk. Wife said the water was too hot for her so she got up and walked to the shelf of the pool next to the hot tub and the other husband went with her. Me and his wife stayed in the hot tub and talked... after a minute I glanced toward the other pool and my wifes head was bobbing up and down on him. Most awesome sight I've seen and gave me an instant erection. Anyway, they got up and walked to the deck chairs and in a few minutes she was sitting on him. We started kissing and watching and after a few minutes walked over and sat next to them... and all started chatting like nothing was going on. Went back to their room and wife did two more with him while the two of us did one and watched.

 

So to answer the question... I didn't let her to anything, she just did it... so Yes I would say she can do what she wants. When I asked her why and how she started so fast, she told me with a big smile, isn't that why we came here... and we shared the couple together openly. The rest of the week was a lot of fun!!!

[Cleve76Pom 24]

What does your wife want to do? If she is getting excited by the very thought, stand back and see what happens, provide support and move forward....right?

[Bigjohn2015 16]

What does your wife want to do? If she is getting excited by the very thought, stand back and see what happens, provide support and move forward....right?

 

My wife gets very wet and excited when I mention another mans cock but has said mine is enough for her.

What can I do ? Please help me with solutions.

I am not the jeaslous type been together for 13 years and I’m happy with her as she is happy with me. I want to spice things up on the bedroom

[scots 33]

Are you looking for a male to join you or a couple? It sounds to me like it's just a male so you can watch your wife be fucked? What does she think of that?

[Bigjohn2015 16]

Hi I would love a couple to join us really but to be honest with u I’d love a man to come over to mine so that I can watch my wife get fucked good. I only have a average size cock and I know that she wants bigger cos every time we watch porn she says how nice a good thick long cock would be and her pussy by than is soaking wet and that’s before even touching her.

Help what should I. Do

[WesternSwing 504]

My wife gets very wet and excited when I mention another mans cock but has said mine is enough for her.

What can I do ? Please help me with solutions.

I am not the jeaslous type been together for 13 years and I’m happy with her as she is happy with me. I want to spice things up on the bedroom

 

She may get wet at the thought, the fantasy if you will, but there is a huge difference between getting turned-on by the fantasy and actually wanting to do it. But this is where you two will need to have a long, honest talk with each other about whether this is a fantasy she really wants to fulfill and she's afraid of how you'll feel about it so she's telling you that you're enough, or it's something that is better left a fantasy for her. Of course the only way to find-out is to talk about it, outside the bedroom when you're not hard and she's not wet so that lusty thoughts are clouding rational thinking.

[swingagain 18]

Make sure to talk about any boundaries or limits so you both understand what is and is not allowed. The more communication, the better.

[jnrswinger 62]

Sounds to me that you are more interested in a hotwife/cuckold situation than swinging. Try OHW instead of this site and you will get plenty of advice there - and probably plenty of offers to do your wife while you watch.

[Guest]

Hi BigJohn.

 

 

Firstly.... I have actually dated 4 or 5 different women who get extremely turned on when I talk about other men / me and other men fucking them, but sadly getting turned on about the idea doesn't actually mean they want to make it a reality and us men often jump to conclusions. I mean she gets turned on when I talk about it, she gets wet and horny when I talk about it, that means she MUST want to do it right? Well no not really, in fact been turned on, been wet is much less vital for a women, that women do not generally choose their sexual choices on if they are turned on or not.

 

Generally a women would want to know a lot more about the subject, they would want to know that its safe / that its not cheating / that you are happy and secure with the idea / that no one else will find out / that her body is good enough / that she doesn't need to be a super model or porn star / that no one is expecting her to do all of the naughty things under the sun / that you both would have chance to get to know the man you pick / that you could have a few social meetings with this man first like meet up a few times in a nice coffee shop.

 

Us guys tend to focus 110% on the SEX PART where often a women is more interested in everything else, they are interested in the why / where / when / with you / what you hope to gain / what the rules are / how it would work / how long it would last / how many times you would meet / how you would know it was safe. For a lot of women getting sex is not that difficult, women are constantly bombarded with sexual offers, horny smiles, sexy glances, a lot of women report that they can not even walk down the street without countless men looking at them, so in many cases a women is not that bothered about the getting sex part, they are more concerned about picking a safe, clean, stable person to have sex, they are more interested in the why this should happen / where this should happen / how this should happen / if it would be safe enough ECT.

 

In other words rather than thinking about the sex part you might be better focusing on everything else such as why you want this to happen, where it would happen, how you would know this other guy was safe. where you would meet this other man, what protections would be in place, how you would keep the situation private, if your sure you would not get jealous or nervous. Like stated us men often focus on the sex part where our wife or girlfriend is usually more interested in real information, the why, the where, when, how, with you, if its safe, ect, ect, ect.

 

 

Secondly.... You need to fully understand your own reasons for wanting this, in fact there are various common reasons that people want to explore this lifestyle and not all of the reasons are that great, in fact the majority of them can be negative, but fully understanding your own reasons can help when talking to your partner and forming a workable plan, for example:

 

1: Sexually Abused: Some people end up exploring the world of swinging because they were sexually abused in their childhood / teenage years, that they believe having more sex, having sex with multiple people will somehow put them in control of their sex lives, but actually its not the most stable of reasons.

 

2: Not Enough: Some people want to get involved with this lifestyle because deep down they feel they are not enough for their partner, they feel their dick is too small / they are too fat / they are not attractive enough / they don't last long enough in bed / they are sexually useless so they want another person to sleep with their partner and provide the good sex that they can not. Sadly this thinking is a little self destructive and can easily cause jealousy, arguments, relationship breakdowns. In the vast majority of cases a women falls in love with the man not with his penis size, and if a women is struggling to reach orgasm like a lot of women do struggle then you can always play / finger / lick / use sexual toys, that shipping in a bigger penis to do the job isn't always the answer.

 

3: Sexually Addicted: People who simply love having sex (I'm one of these people) I can hardly even walk past an attractive women without thinking about her sitting on my cock, I think about threesomes far too much, in fact these days I hardly even get horny unless I think about MFF / MMF threesomes or even gang banging my partner. This again is not the best or healthiest reason to explore swinging and often leads into the person putting their own desires and addictions before their partners desires and feelings.

 

4: Cheated On: Another big reason people explore this lifestyle is because they have been cheated on by past partners, or even their current partner, and sure when they found out they had been cheated on it really hurt them, they was devastated and it made them feel worthless, like they was not enough for their partner. However usually a few years later they began thinking about the times they have been cheated on and suddenly they find themselves horny about the idea, they find themselves horny about the idea of other people fucking their partner and they often convince themselves of many untrue facts, for example:

 

- Well they cheated on me, I must not be good enough so I'll find someone else for my partner who is good enough in bed and then my partner will have no reason to cheat again.

 

- Well if I let my partner sleep with other people that will stop them from cheating again.

 

But actually it doesn't work, people who cheat, will cheat regardless of what sexual partners they have, some people simply want to cheat, some people get off on cheating, and bringing someone else into that situation will not stop that person from cheating again, if anything it will enable them as they believe they can now do whatever they like anyway.

 

5: No Friends / No Hobbies: Another big reason people chose to explore this lifestyle is basically because they have no friends and very little social hobbies which happens to a lot of people, its not really a bad thing but lets face it when we are young we are at school / college / university and we are surrounded my friends, we are fun, we are popular, we go out every weekend, AND THEN once we leave education and find a job / buy a house / get a car / have a family / get married / then suddenly all of that fun friendship and social hobbies are replaced with work / bills / responsibility and we find ourselves losing many friends, our old friends move away to find new jobs, our old friends vanish because they have families, buy houses, have demanding jobs and suddenly were left alone so sometimes people decide that swinging would be a great social hobby that would allow them to meet new friends.

 

Sadly however in about 98% of cases swinging doesn't really work like that, in fact swinging is about SEX, I mean yes the vast majority of people who swing (couples included) might write in their profiles that they are looking for "Fun & Friendship" but actually a lot of the time they are just looking for sex, a lot of people you will meet in the swinging lifestyle are not really that interested in friendship, they haven't got the time to see their own friends never mind making some big new friendship with a couple they are fucking. Finding lasting friends via swinging can be hard, not impossible but hard.

 

6: Failing Relationship: In a lot of cases couples want to explore this lifestyle in an attempt to repair a damaged relationship, that for whatever reasons they have become unhappy with each other, they argue, they don't have sex anymore and sometimes one of them thinks letting other people jump in bed with them will fix their problems, but trust me it really doesn't. They need to fix their own relationship as inviting others into bed won't fix a broken relationship for them and will often make things worse.

 

7: Honest Reasons: That you enjoy sex, that you are a open minded, honest, loyal person and you love your partner enough that you want them to have fun, variety, sexual experience. That you do have a good relationship with your partner, that you enjoy having sex together, that you have learnt to communicate about things and simply want to enjoy yourselves as a team.

 

 

There are a lot of reasons people choose to get into this lifestyle (this list could be 2 or 3 times as long) but the point is figuring out your own reasons is a good start, for example you having an average sized dick (like most men) is not enough reason to invite other guys into your sex lives. When your wife asks WHY you want to do this? What are you going to say? Because I have a small dick and am not good enough for you in bed so want some big dicked hero to come along and save the day, I want another man to give you what I can't.

 

But like stated most women fall in love with the man / the person, not their dick size, that really you need to know that you ARE enough for your wife, she has said your enough, she is with you, she has chosen you, and once you realise you are enough then it might change your mind about even wanting another man to join in.

 

 

Thirdly.... Before I begin this statement let me assure you that I am NOT trying to put you off swinging, that in the "Curious About Swinging" thread some people expect you to ONLY give positive happy feedback. to somehow glorify the world of swinging, to encourage new people to jump into this lifestyle and give it a try. But basically in my opinion life doesn't work like that, life is not a happy easy bed of roses where everything goes right, lets face it in life things often go wrong.

 

With this in mind I'd like to explain a few things about single men in this lifestyle, give you a few ideas about what you can expect and how to avoid certain mistakes.

 

 

You have indicated that you would like to see another man fuck your wife, so what about men in this lifestyle?

 

1. Not Single: Well firstly you will find about 90% of the single men in this lifestyle are not actually single at all, a huge amount of men who post on swinging meet up sites already have wives and girlfriends and are simply looking for "Discreet Sex" in fact when you see a single mans profile and says "Discreet / Desecration" then it usually means they are cheating on someone, they want you to sneak around and be their dirty little secret. This can be very problematic for you as a couple because really what these guys are looking for is a "Quick Fuck, On Their Terms" or in other words they will NOT have the time to get to know you, they will not have the time to take things slowly, they will not have the time to build any kind of friendship.

 

This can lead into various other problems because really what these guys are looking for is a quick easy affair, in other words they want to leave work an hour early and quickly dash to your house, they want to walk in your house wearing the same musty clothes they have worn all day at work, they have not bathed or showered because they have been stuck at work 8 hours, then they want to walk in the door and shove their dick into your wife as soon as possible, they have not got time to talk, they have not got time to relax, they will constantly check their watch or phone because they are on a time limit, they need to have sex with your wife quickly so they can dash home before their own wife or girlfriend realises they are late.

 

Such men make all sorts of excuses to their wives or girlfriends for example....

 

"I'm just going to the gym honey" and the man quickly rushes to your house in his sweaty gym gear and wants to bang your wife within 1 hour and be back home.

 

"I'm just going fishing or hunting honey" and the man quickly rushes to your house in his muddy fishing gear and wants to bang your your wife good and quick so he can get home.

 

This means a lot of men in this lifestyle DO NOT have the time to treat your wife like a friend / like a person / and that they do not have time to chat / discuss rules / take things slowly, in fact what a lot of these men want is simply to turn up at your house (away from public eyes) and to walk in the door not bathed / not showered / not groomed / wearing smelly work or gym clothes / and to walk in the house and find your wife naked with her legs open so they can ram their dicks inside nice a quick, shoot their loads into a new women, then very quickly pull up their pants and run towards the door so their own wife or girlfriend at home doesn't realise they have been gone too long.

 

In may cases if you invite a guy around you will notice that unless your having sex within 10 minutes they become "On Edge" they sit on the edge of their seat, their knees begin bopping up and down like they are inpatient, they begin checking their watch every two seconds, they check their mobile phone constantly checking the time and checking of their wife or girlfriend has messaged asking where they are. This sort of rushed chaotic meet can have a very, very, very negative effect on your wife or girlfriend. In many cases your wife or girlfriend will want to get to know this other man, spend a few hours chatting, having drinks, making small talk, asking questions, your wife needs to feel relaxed, comfy, safe, horny, excited and sadly a cheating man rushing in the door and wanting full sex within 10 minutes isn't what she needs, but sadly that is what a lot of men on line want, a quick easy way to cheat on their partners.

 

Please believe me but a lot of men get into this lifestyle because they believe it is a quick and easy way to cheat on their partners, for example if a married man meets a new women then they have to put in a lot of effort, they have to lie to this new women, they have to text this new women, they have to communicate with this new women, they have to spend time with her, and really they can't do those things because they already have a wife or girlfriend at home who will soon figure things out. So instead these men figure that banging someone else's wife will be easier, they don't have to put in as much effort, they don't have to test your wife, they don't have to spend time with your wife, they don't have to care about your wife, to them your wife is simply a shining new vagina to stick their dicks into on their time frame.

 

 

2: Rude: You will also find the vast majority of men on line are fairly rude people, that they are 110% focused on sex and their penis, in this lifestyle men do not understand that YOU and your WIFE are actually REAL PEOPLE, that you have thoughts, desires, reasons, worries, ideas, that in reality to a lot of men your not a person you are simply a SEX OBJECT. You, or in this case your wife is not a lovely nice attractive person, she is basically a blow up sex doll.

 

In many cases when you speak to a man on line they will not even introduce themselves, they will not even ask your names, instead they will bombard you with questions such as:

 

"Does your wife swallow cum"

 

"Does your wife like it in the ass"

 

"Does your wife like piss games"

 

"Does your wife like her vagina sucked"

 

"Does your wife want my fat cock"

 

"Does your wife rim men's bum holes"

 

You know in many cases you might simply want to a man to say "Hello my name is James, whats your names? How are you? Would you like to chat sometime?"

 

But like expressed above most of these men have not got the time to get to know you, they are not interested in you, they are not interested in your names, your life, your rules, your desires, they are simply interested in their own penis, and that penis been rammed inside any hole your wife will allow. Take my word for it a lot of guys online are very rude and totally focused on the sex aspect, they are not here to make friends, they are not here to complete a couples fantasy, they are not here to treat people as civil human beings, they are simply here to ram their dicks into new women's holes.

 

 

3: Phone, Email, Chat Programs: Now a lot of couples especially those just starting out think its great idea to meet a new guy and to give this guy your wife's phone number, email, chat program details so that this man and your wife can chat in private and get to know each other. In some cases it works, in some cases maybe it can help, but in my personal experience it is a shockingly bad mistake to give out your wife's contact information to any man (unless you have known them a long time and trust them totally) because in most cases the very second you give a man your wife's number he will begin messaging her asking her to meet him alone / asking her to sneak around behind your back.

 

In all honesty most men into this lifestyle do not actually want a threesome, they do not want another man joining in, they do not want another man watching, really want they want is fuck other women and you been their is just a inconvenience to them. They don't want you sat their watching, they don't want to share your wife sexually, really they just want to bang your wife and you been out of the picture would make them feel easier about doing that so sure the moment you give out your wife's contact details is the same week she will get asked to cheat / meet alone / sneak around / have sex without your knowledge and so on.

 

Also you need to understand that once a man has your wife's number / email / chat program information that a lot of guys will then stalk your wife or simply not leave her alone and will bombard her with messages asking for sex and private meet ups. This can actually be very scary for a women, when a man refuses to take no for answer, when a man constantly messages, when a man bombards her with rude offers then sure it can easily put your wife off the entire subject, it only takes your wife to get stalked once and she won't do this again.

 

 

4: Stalkers: Be warned that some men in this lifestyle could easily be classed as "Stalkers" and sure its not a large amount, maybe 10 or 15% if men fit into this category, but basically once they figure out your wife's full name / where your wife lives / where your wife works / her phone number / email / face book name / then suddenly like a jigsaw they will begin piecing information together, for example if they have your wife's full name then with a little effort they can find out her phone number / her face book / her email / where she works and so on.

 

Funnily enough for over 12 years I worked for the British Government and part of my job was "Finding People" basically tracking people who were lying to the government, making false benefit claims, trying to preform postage fraud and so on. Well honestly with only a small amount of information I can basically find most people. Using certain programs, using tax records, housing records, voting records, face book, phone register information, land owners information, car number plates, mobile phone numbers and various other methods I can usually find a person simply based on a few core details, in all fairness its not even that hard anyone can do it, like stated it was part of my previous job.

 

What does this mean? Well it means that some men could potentially stalk your wife, they could turn up at your house when the male half of the couple is at work, often they will turn up at your house banging n the door when they know you (the man) has left for work. Sometimes they will watch your house, they will sit in their car waiting for the husband to leave for work, they will hide in the bushes over the road waiting for the husband to leave for work and once the husband leaves and the wife is in the house alone they will approach the house and knock on the door making excuses such as:

 

"I was just in the area and thought I'd drop by and say hello" Translated to man speak "I was just in the area and noticed your husband isn't here, do you fancy a fuck without him here?"

 

"Last time I was here I think I left my hat here / drop my wallet / lost my phone" Translated into man speak "Can I come in and fuck you whilst your husband isn't here?"

 

Such men will not only watch your house waiting for the husband to leave his wife alone, but they will also track your wife on line, turn up at her work place looking for her, track down her social hobbies such as what bars or hobby events she attends, find her email, face book, personal number, ect, ect. My advice is to always keep your personal details safe from men you meet, do not tell them where your wife works, avoid giving them your last name, do not give them your wife's email, phone number, chat program details, make solid clear rules that you do not want them turning up unless they are invited.

 

One thing I usually tell NEW MEN is that....

 

"Please, please, please, do NOT turn up to our house uninvited because my brother and my uncle are both police officers and they often visit with their families and would be very suspicious about a strange man knocking on the door"

 

This makes any new man believe we have "Police Back Up" that we are a police family with the law on our wide. Let new men know that if there is any trouble, if they turn up at your wife's home / work / or track her down, if they harass you or your wife / if they make any threats / if they break your rules / then you will call the police.

 

 

5: Sexuality Liars: Another big thing you will find about men on line is they lie about their sexuality, for example they will say things like:

 

"Sure I am okay with a threesome"

 

"Sure I don't mind another man taking part or watching"

 

"Sure I'm bi-curious or bi-sexual I don't mind other men taking part"

 

When really a lot of men would be much better saying....

 

"Yeah I'm totally straight, in fact I'm homophobic and am only saying I don't mind other men been there because I want to shaft your wife, really I hate other men, I am disgusted at other men, seeing another mans penis would totally freak me out, I will become hostile, nervous, angry if any man comes near me with his penis, I don't even want to be in the same room as another man whilst I fuck a women, but hey if I get t bang your wife's pussy simply by saying I don't mind another man been present then I'' give it a go despite the fact I'll hate that other man for even been there"

 

Get this straight in many cases if you invite another man to fuck your wife that other man would prefer that YOU (the husband) didn't even exist, he could not care if you got run over and killed tomorrow because that way he might be able to sling his cock up your wife without you been there. You will find a lot of men say they are okay with the idea of a threesome or another man watching, but actually not all of them are okay with that, some of them HATE that but are simply saying they don't mind so they can bang your wife.

 

 

6: God Cock: This is a subject I sometimes refer to as the "God Cock Complex" but basically some guys have a very unhealthy and almost obsessive view about women and about themselves, in fact I have known several women basically have their lives ruined by this subject. Basically some men believe they are walking gods, they view women as mere cattle / sex objects and that once a women has accepted his god penis then that women is now HIS PROPERTY and she should never sleep with another man again for as long as she lives.

 

"I placed my god penis into that women, now that women belongs TO ME and only me, if she ever touches another man she is a vile slut of a women and must be punished and humiliated"

 

I remember some years ago a young women I knew in a club had a one night stand with a Eastern European man, she described the event as been very bad sex, she was a little drunk at the time and once they got home she found his hygiene was fairly bad, that he had not trimmed his pubic hair ever in his life, that he pushed the idea of anal sex over vaginal sex, and sure they had sex once and she never planned to see him again. The man then began stalking her in the her favourite nightclub and turned up screaming at her, his comments were along the lines of....

 

"I have slept with you now, you have agreed to take my penis, you are my women now, you belong to me, you are a filthy whore for attending nightclubs like this, you should wait at home until I return to give you my sweaty unwashed penis, how dare you attend a club that contains other men"

 

He unleashed a 6 month stalking campaign against the girl and would turn up at her house / follow her in the street / turn up at clubs and bars looking for her / became verbally abusive towards her male friends. Where sex is concerned some men do become very obsessed and not in a healthy fun way. Many years ago me and my partner slept with another man and he had the exact same reaction, he firmly believed that because he had stuck his god penis inside my girlfriend that she was now his property, that he could now have sex with her whenever he choose, that now she should not have sex with any other man (not even me her partner) because he had blessed her with his penis.

 

You have to be very careful about this subject, watch out for men who sound possessive, watch out for men who have very bad views about women, that all women are whores, all women are cheaters, all women are liars, women should be controlled, women are just sex objects, these kind of views can become very dangerous.

 

 

7: Bad Hygiene: Don't get me wrong some men, in fact a lot of men have really good hygiene, some men wear very clean posh clothes, brush their teeth every day, shower and bath everyday, have clean haircuts, trim their pubic hair, cut their nails, trim their eyebrows, some men really look after their bodies, where sadly some men DON'T AT ALL.

 

In this lifestyle its very easy to come across men who never brush their teeth, never trim their nails, never trim their pubic hair, wear dirty stained clothes, bath about once every 5 days, have bad breath, bad body odour and sadly you can not always tell simply by looking at a picture. My advice here is never to invite a new man around for SEX but instead always have a social meeting first. Meet them in a coffee shop and inspect their hygiene levels. Is their hair washed? Is their nails cut and hands washed? Is their clothes clean? Are their trainers clean? Are their teeth clean? Have they bathed? Then say goodnight and return home with your wife and discuss what you thought, if their hygiene is not to your liking then do not meet them again.

 

 

8: Warning Signs: When you do meet a man for a social chat / social meeting make it clear that NO SEX will happen that night, it is just a social meeting to chat and meet in person. However take this chance to look out for various warning signs, for example:

 

- Does this person have any signs of self harm, slashes on the arms or wrists, slashes on the neck, if so they may not be mentally stable and could be dangerous.

 

- Does this person have any signs of drug abuse, needle marks on the arms / heavily stained finger tips from smoking drugs / heavily blood shot eyes / rotting teeth, if so you might want to avoid that person.

 

- Does this person have any self done prison styled tattoos or any gang like tattoos / racist tattoos / violent tattoos, for example words like "Hate" written across their knuckles, Nazi symbols on their necks, or basically just prison tattoos, cheap self done tattoos using Indian ink are often signs a person has been in prison.

 

- Does this person look sick or infected in any respect, do they have sores / rashes / are they constantly itching their genital area, do they generally look unhealthy, cold cores, coughing and spluttering, mouldy cracked finger nails, look out for possible symptoms that could show this person is ill or infected with some disease.

 

- Ask about this persons hobbies, for example I personally avoid any man who is a trained fighter, if I ask a man about his pastimes and he says things like: Weapon collecting / knife collecting / gun collecting / boxing / cage fighting / martial arts / or if he likes very violent sports then I do not meet that person again. I mean honestly if you have a falling out with a man during a threesome, if for whatever reason this man becomes mad, angry, or obsessed then its much easier for me to ask a man to leave if he is not a black belt in martial arts, if he is not a trained cage fighter use to solving problems with his fists. Look out for men who have scars and bruises on their knuckles, watch out for men who fascinations with weapons as they could be carrying knives or guns to meet you.

 

- Try some trick questions and watch their responses, try and lure them into a false sense of security by asking leading questions such as:

 

"So what was your last romantic partner like?" Men who answer by saying "She was fucking awful, she was a dirty slag, I fucking hate her, she is worthless, I'd rather not talk about that fucking bitch" are going to be dangerous to swing with, watch out for strong hatred towards women and their ex girlfriends as this shows that this man doesn't take kindly to sexual situations ending.

 

"The other month we was at a nightclub and a man slapped my wife on the bum as she walked past, I didn't know what to do, what would you have done?" If the man replies by saying "I'd have marched up to that other man and punched him in the face or smashed a pint glass into his face" then you already know this guy is going to be hostile, that he has anger issues, resolves problems with violence, stay away.

 

"So strange question but are you really single or will we have to be discreet? Will we have to sneak around a bit to make this work?" Asking this questions lures the man into a false sense of security, it makes them believe you are OKAY been his dirty little secret, that your willing to lie and cheat to have sex with him and at this point a lot of men will say "Well actually I am not single like I said in my profile, I actually have a wife and two kids at home who don't even know I'm here" It helps you find out the men who are cheating and the men who are not.

 

"So when did you last get checked out sexually?" This is an amazing question to ask a man, because there are only TWO ANSWERS, the first answer is where the man does not hesitate, he does not pause to think, he does not stutter or stammer, he does not delay but instead he gives a very quick, very direct answer, he says "Sure yes I got checked out about 3 months ago at the sexual clinic on West Street" or something along those lines, that is a good answer. The second answer is where the man stops to think, he says "Hhhmmm, eerrrrr, mmmm, eerrrr" and is trying to dream up a lie, he touches his face or chin like he is lying, he seems unsure, he pauses whilst he thinks of an answer, he maybe can not maintain eye contact, his eyes flick up and down or side to side, he is letting out tell tale signs of lying and then after a pause and think he says "Oh eerrrr yeah it was about 6 months ago that I last got checked out, it was at my doctors" If a man pauses and can not actually remember the last time he got checked out then usually it means they never have been checked out.

 

"So do you have any sexual problems, any sexual hang ups? Any pains or issues with having sex? Any issues we should know about?" This again can be a good question to ask, if a man replies by saying things like "It sometimes hurts when I have sex / sometimes my stomach really hurts after having sex / sometimes I really do struggle to cum / I sometimes can a rash on my cock / sometimes my cum smells or is a funny colour like yellow or green / I sometimes have very painful gas after having sex. Then sure all of these things can be signs that this person has an STD or infection of some kind. In general if a person has any pain / swelling / discomfort / discharge whilst or after having sex it points to a problem you don't want.

 

Another great trick question to ask a man is "Well I went to the doctors the other week and doctor said I needed a routine rectal examination and he stuck his finger up my bum which was well embarrassing, what do you think of doctors? What would you do if a doctor wanted to stick HIS finger up your bum?" This a great question because if a man replies by saying "Oh I fucking hate doctors, I do not trust doctors at all, I hate going to the doctors" then you basically know this man will not go to sexual health clinics to see doctors and get checked out for STDS. If the man replies by saying "Fuck that if a man tried to stick his finger up my bum I'd knock him out" then you know he has serious issues been around other men, or other men seeing him naked ect.

 

 

There are a lot of trick or leading questions you can ask, but really your job is to LISTEN / LOOK / LEARN. Listen to the answers this man gives, look out for danger or warning signs, is this person violent? Is this person unclean? Does this person have a really bad view about sex or women? Does this man sound possessive, aggressive, mentally unstable? Is he a liar? His he lying to you? His he health conscious? There are many things you can look for so learn to pay attention to the details, to how the man acts, what he says and doesn't say ect.

 

 

9: Cheaters: It is worth mentioning that sure a lot of men into this lifestyle are cheating on someone, usually men in this lifestyle are cheating on their wife or girlfriend who is sitting at home or sitting at work without a clue what is happening. However please understand if a man is willing to lie and cheat on his wife and family then what on earth makes you think this man will be honest with you? If he is willing to break his promises and vows to his own wife or girlfriend what on earth makes you think he will respect your rules or relationship? If a man is willing to lie to his wife or girlfriend then your sure as hell he won't think twice about lying to you as well.

 

If a man is lying to his wife or girlfriend and you ask that man questions such as:

 

So you wont come round to our house without been invited first?

So you wont ask my wife for sex alone without my knowledge?

So you won't stalk my wife in any respect at all?

So you won't become freaked out with another man been in the room whilst you have sex?

 

Then honestly that man will give whatever answers YOU WANT TO HEAR. That if a cheating man is willing to lie to his own wife he will not think twice about lying to you as well.

 

You can usually spot a cheating man when you have a social meet with them, you meet this man in a coffee shop for a friendly get to know each other chat and the man seems nervous, he is on edge, he sits on the edge of his seat, he is constantly looking around the coffee shop, he looks at everyone who walks in the coffee shop and everyone who leaves, deep down he is scared to death that one of his wife's friends will see him in a coffee shop talking to strangers,, he checks his phone of watch every two minutes, he is on a time limit, he needs to be home before his wife gets back from work or before she notices he is late coming home, he constantly pauses when asked questions, he struggled to give direct quick answers, he is always breaking eye contact, his eyes roll up or down or left or right all the time, he covers his mouth when he speaks, touches his chin all the time when he speaks, sits on his hands whilst he speaks, acts like he is hiding things, gives unsure stuttering answers when asked about his relaitonship status, makes excuses that he does not have long to speak and needs to be somewhere within the next 30 minutes or whatever.

 

The man who isn't cheating is far more relaxed, he sits back in his chair, he glances around the bar or coffee shop on occasion but not constantly, he laughs, jokes, makes small talk, gives direct answers, is more at ease, doesn't check his watch or phone every two minutes, he is not scared that his wife or a friend might walk in the bar any second and catch him talking to you.

 

Really however this is down to personal preference, if your a couple looking to explore sex with another man then you quickly have to answer the question, are you okay fucking this man behind his wife or girlfriends back or are you not okay with that? Remember a man who isn't cheating will have far more time to see you, he is not worried about time limits, he has more time to chat, relax, get to know you, where a man who is cheating will simply want to run in your house and bang your wife.

 

Please understand a man who is cheating will want to leave your house before his cum has even gone cold, for example if that man cums into a condom or even into your wife then before his cum has even gone cold he will be pulling on his jeans and heading towards the door wanting to leave, wanting to escape and get back to his wife. I guess its personal choice, some people are okay sleeping with married men, some are not, some people believe sleeping with a married man is safer, that there is less chance of drama, some people believe sleeping with a married or attached man brings nothing but drama.

 

The main question is are you in this just for sex? Or are you in this for friendship, relaxation, fun, so your wife can relax, be respected, get to know this person a little? Is your wife okay just opening her legs to a stranger,, or would she prefer to get to know that person first? A truly single guy will have more time, more patience to get to know your wife, will have more time to treat her well, a married man will just want to rush into your wife's pussy and get his kicks before running away.

 

 

10: Pictures & Film: On occasion you will get men who want to take naked pictures of your wife / film your wife having threesomes / share naked pictures on line with you, but honestly I'd be very careful here as such things are risky and can easily do damage to peoples lives or be used to blackmail couples. When putting pictures online make sure that none of your naked pictures have your faces on them, make sure there are no distinguishing marks, cover up or edit out your tattoos, don't take pictures of your street / house / or pictures with family phones or personal mail in the backgrounds. Do not add pictures of yourself that have other friends, other family members in them.

 

Personally if we have a threesome with a guy then we do NOT let that guy take any pictures or videos, also we make sure any pictures we do send that man would be very hard to recognise as us, like stated we cover up tattoos using editing programs, make sure the background doesn't how details of our home, edit our faces out of the naked pictures and so on.

 

 

 

OVERALL:

 

 

I am NOT putting you off playing with other men, and YES there are some wonderful fun men out there, some guys are clean, honest, sexy, not all men are bad, but it pays to be safe, it pays to be aware that not all men have good or honest intentions.

 

One thing you also have to remember is that if you do begin seeing another man then chances are that man is also seeing other people, for example lets say that next week another man sleeps with your wife and then you do not see that man again for 1 month. What do you think that man is doing for that 1 month? Do you think he is patiently sitting at home waiting for your phone call? No chances are he is out seeing other couples, out seeing single women, seeing his wife ect. That just because you agree to sleep with a man that doesn't mean your wife is his only sexual partner.

 

Remember in most cases your wife is not that bothered about the sex part, its everything else, the why, where, with who, how, when, and if its safe that a lot of women need answering. Find out what type of man your wife would like, would he be single, would he be married and looking for a sneaky affair, would he be young, old, thin, fat, tall, short, dark hair, light hair. If your wife was going to agree to this what would make her feel comfy? Would she want to get to know the man first? Would she feel okay doing it at home or would she prefer a hotel room? If you were to meet this man for a social chat where would she feel comfy, at bar, club, coffee shop, in the park? What would she like to know about this man? What things would turn her off about a partner? What would make her feel safer doing this? Would she want him to wear a condom? What wouldn't she like to do? What are her rules? If this happened how would she like it to happen? Is she okay compromising? Does she understand that a lot of guys are a bit rude and naughty, that a lot of them do just want sex? Is she willing to understand she might not get everything she wants that no one is perfect?

 

The more you understand about what your wife would like, what would make your wife feel comfy then the more prepared you will be to offer that when the right guy comes along.

 

Good luck