Bi solution to jealousy?

[Martain2018 20]

Hello all. So I will caveat before I begin.

Assuming the couple:

1. Has a strong and healthy relationship

2. Good communicators

3. Attention isn't an issue

 

Is it safe to say being bi can mitigate the potential for jealousy in certain scenarios?

 

I ask as there is a mutual appreciation for the sexual object. Example: I have friends that are female and say...i would be devastated if he grabbed her boobs. I have a bi female friend like. No they are nice #$% I want to grab them!

 

Or another issue where a couple told me how he was in admiration of his wife's bj prowess ...and envious he couldnt join in.

 

Thoughts?

[WesternSwing 504]

The bi situations you reference sound more like envy than jealousy, where the vanilla "I'd be devastated if he grabbed her boobs" is pure jealousy and I think has little to do with sexual orientation. Though, I think bi people may "get" it more than many vanillas because they have needs that they would like to fulfill with the other gender (even if they don't).

[Martain2018 20]

Astute point westernswing! Barring the envy vs. jealousy comment do you think being attracted to the same object (for lack of a better word) breeds understanding? Or am I just really off base and have no clue (which is very well the case lol)!

 

Inquiring rookie swingers want to know !?!?!

[GMOFLEISURE 221]

Bi sexuality is not the core solution to jealousy. At best it is a enabler resulting from the solution. Controlling jealousy, AKA possessiveness requires trust & at the core the confidence ones friends, partners, lovers, wives place you ahead of other encounters or relationships. This goes both ways, one spouse free to rove while the other is restricted is not a balanced healthy relationship. Open relationships, couples swaps, group sex or parties, are all opportunities for both spouses or partners to have equality and feel they are not being left out. I suspect this is why I meet so many bisexual married couples. By sharing a male or a female in a threesome a lot or all of the exclusion is removed. I'd recommend you two talk regularly about your feelings, work through the barriers and shields & little lies. Your marriage and sexuality will improve.

[Guest]

It totally depends....

 

I have known bisexual women who would love to have threesomes with their boyfriends.

 

But I have also known bisexual women who would rip off their boyfriends balls if he even touched another man or women.

 

I don't think been bisexual means you will like threesomes.

 

Liking threesomes and group sex is a separate thing.

 

You could be bisexual and be totally closed minded towards threesomes, or could be bisexual an open minded to threesomes.

 

I think the main question is if the person is okay with the idea of group sex or not.

[WesternSwing 504]

Astute point westernswing! Barring the envy vs. jealousy comment do you think being attracted to the same object (for lack of a better word) breeds understanding? Or am I just really off base and have no clue (which is very well the case lol)!

 

Inquiring rookie swingers want to know !?!?!

 

In my expererience, I've seen women not be jealous at all of her husband having sex with another woman, but get very jealous about her husband having sex with another man. But... I've never seen a man get jealous when his wife has sex with another woman and too many times to count seen men get jealous when she has sex with another man (also known as "one penis policy").

 

Why is this? I don't know. It's just an observation I've seen time after time in the lifestyle.

[NerdsAreFun 226]

Yeah, see that mistaken assumption posted all the time. "If I'm with another man it's less threatening/likely to cause jealously/etc than a woman". But the reverse can certainly be true. Another man can be more threatening because they can't offer the same experience.

[Martain2018 20]

Right on...! Thanks for everyone lending insight. I thought..."maybe I offended someone" based of the initial lack of responses.

 

Nerdsarefun - you are a lot more eloquent then me. That was the point I was getting to. (Albeit awkwardly). Lol

 

Westernswing- I have seen the same observations.

[Seanandem 48]

For me, the male half, having the guy be bi would definitely make it easier to share my wife. I guess it gives the assurance that no one will be left out.

[padoc 1,703]

I don't see how the premise is valid. A bi encounter is hardly a solution for jealousy. If half a couple is jealous or insecure manifesting itself as jealousy, the partner having sex with someone else is still the partner having sex. Especially if it's clearly a fun experience. I fail to see how the simple possession of breasts or a penis will change that dynamic.

[Seanandem 48]

Paddoc, no offense, but that’s how YOU perceive it, and it wouldn’t work for YOU. But you’ve also made it CRYSTAL clear, you’re not a fan of bisexual curiosities for men. And that’s fine. Neither was I. Until it just happened one day... I realized I liked both, sexually. I feel like for us, it would make things easier, and my Mrs feels the same.

[padoc 1,703]

I think there was a question mark in the title of this blog. I answered the question from our perspective. How else would I answer? Im neither a proponent for nor am I an opponent to "bi-sexual curiosity" for men, I simply have none and neither does my wife. Neither of us suffer from jealousy either and if we did, a bisexual romp wouldn't solve the underlying issue.