wifes first female, scared, help!

[Youngnkinky_cpl 15]

So, me and my wife aren't 100% new to swinging. We discussed it a few weeks into dating, acknowledged we were both "cool" with the idea. We picked a guy up at a club before, it ended badly. He had a tiny dick and just couldn't get it up. I had an old friend, female, lesbian, 28, (I'm 31, wife 24) who began tending bar with my wife. It started out normal, toying with the idea of experimenting. My friend said she wasnt totally ok with the idea, scared she would change my wifes orientation. I told her she wouldn't. Well, over the past few weeks, I have obliged my wife and left the room when signaled, allowing my wife to have a few steamy make out sesh's with friend, as they get closer. They have been more, "playful" at work, making out in corners and such when nobody sees. But, my friend has become distant towards me, not talking much, but being more talkative towards my wife. Two nights ago, my wife went to spend the night at said friends house. Friend watched Netflix with her, then at bedtime, friskiness turned to friend going down on her, she describes it as "different" when asked if she is better than me. My wife tells me not to worry, that she won't hurt me, and also hasn't shown a lack of interest in me, but friend is even more quiet towards me. If I see her in person, she is...ok, but carries on conversations with my wife via text but refuses to respond to simple messages from me. Wife is also under a "you wanted this" attitude when I say I'm not totally cool with the way friend is acting. Wife also showed friend three some pictures, both agreed they were sexy. Wife seems to be controlling friend more than friend is controlling wife as far as "testing boundaries".

 

Now, my question is, am I just being paranoid? Is this jitters/paranoia a normal feeling of this new experience? Or an instinct telling me something is wrong? My wife tells me she has intent to get all three of us in a room together, and I believe her, but still extremely scared by the way things are going. I feel its just the fact I'm doing something strange, unorthodox, not within societal norms, and thats why I'm freaking out. Any advice for a newbie? Help!

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

How many times? DON'T PLAY WITH FRIENDS! While some couples have been successful with this, it more often than not turns out bad. Now you are in a situation where they work together and your wife can loose her job if things don't work out how the other woman (who is now in control of the relationship because of this knowledge) wants things to turn out. Since she is a lesbian, she isn't going to want to play with you and since she likes your wife...well do you think she is playing with her just for fun? Even if your wife is only 'experimenting', eventually this is most likely going to end badly. The other woman is (more likely than not) interested in a relationship with your wife (hey, she warned you) and either your wife will have to tell her that she isn't interested in a relationship (which will most likely cause the bad ending) or (worst case) she does leave you for this relationship. Your friend not communicating with you as much...she's trying to take your wife.

 

Are you being paranoid? Not sure, but I would be very concerned. This was a bad idea from the start but at this point you no longer have much of a say in what happens. Wife having a "you wanted this" attitude is not very good either. You need to talk with your wife and tell her that you are not happy with how things are going and that you both should (if you choose to continue) find a new couple to play with. Don't make demands, just tell her that you are not feeling good with this...that playing with friends may not be a good idea. See what she has to say at this point, it will tell you a lot. Good luck but start talking ASAP.

[luvin eye full 140]

Good advice GCC

 

Tell your wife of ALL your concerns with this and then tell her to stop ( with this one anyway - ) if she can not stop or will not stop this - then you have a decision to make on what to do next.

 

The thoughts behind my advice is this - This is not swinging - in swinging both have a right to say "hey i do not like the way this is going lets stop" or anything along these lines, put it this way you two wanted to try it out and for what ever reason it does not suit the both of you - so time to stop this path with this girl.

 

Time to talk it out and do not let it go until you both know where you stand - swinging is a partnership not a dictatorship.

 

Let us know how you go with it and best of luck

[Chris&Suzanne 204]

My wife, before we were married, decided that living with a gay girlfriend was what she wanted. She tried it for awhile, but every once and a while she would come by for some sex with me. (because I'm such a stud. HA) If I had been attracted to the other girl, I might have considered having them both over, even if they only had sex with each other, but I wasn't going to happen.

 

She came back after about 6 months mostly because the woman had some strange habits?

 

For example oral sex was only done with dental dams, any toys that involved insertion had to have condoms on them, and probably other things she never told me about.

 

She likes other women, but she also likes to have regular sex with men as well.

[Chris&Suzanne 204]

I have more time than I thought. I can fill in some more information.

 

When she told the woman she was coming back to me, the woman got verbally abusive, saying things like all you wanted was dick anyway and other stuff. This woman really hated men.

 

My wife still liked her and that hurt her quite a bit. After she moved we got a box in the mail containing all the little trinkets that my wife had given her, the things that lovers might give to each other.

 

I think if the breakup hadn't been so bad my wife would have probably like to still like to go out with her and even have sex with her, but it wasn't in the cards. She tried to contact her, but the woman was totally not interested in even talking.