Relationship

[Glittersomemore 15]

I'm in a relationship were he wants to play. I have never but I'm curious about it. Thinking I would like to try. But our relationship has been very rocky with trust issuses I want to talk about what is needed to be able to have this lifestyle and if it's even possible with this man. I have questions about this life style benifits, things to watch out for, look forward to. Do and donts.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

I see that you are a new member so I welcome you to the board.

 

Your question is very much like questions others have asked. Sometimes we of Swingersboard arrive at an answer using the twenty-questions process. I will begin: What makes you distrust this man?

[Glittersomemore 15]

He has lied to me about his where abouts he is secretive and very protective of his phone and computer. He has told me to stay out of his private life. I am not allowed to ask him whom he is talking to.I have bent told by former spouses he cheats

[lcmim 1,082]

He has lied to me about his where abouts he is secretive and very protective of his phone and computer. He has told me to stay out of his private life. I am not allowed to ask him whom he is talking to.I have bent told by former spouses he cheats

 

By all means explore swinging if you are curious.

 

Personally though I would not try it with someone who behaves as you describe. For that matter I wouldn't be with someone who behaves like that.

[adamgunn 1,460]

I agree. If you don't trust your partner, please do not swing with him.

 

It will probably lead to disappointment on your part, and perhaps drama with your swinging partners.

 

Good luck.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

He has lied to me about his where abouts he is secretive and very protective of his phone and computer. He has told me to stay out of his private life. I am not allowed to ask him whom he is talking to.I have bent told by former spouses he cheats

I will not need to ask the other nineteen questions. If this is the way that your man behaves, the problems would only become amplified if either of you tried swing.

[a_d_xxx 663]

He has lied to me about his where abouts he is secretive and very protective of his phone and computer. He has told me to stay out of his private life. I am not allowed to ask him whom he is talking to.I have bent told by former spouses he cheats

 

Agree with what others have said. Swinging will stress your relationship in new and innovative ways If there is distrust, or either of you have personal issues around boundaries, honesty, or abuse you need to deal with, those will likely get thrust front and center. With that in mind the above quote certainly throws up some significant red flags.

 

It is my opinion that most successful long term coupled swingers aren't in it for the sex. That might have been the lure (and is certainly part of the fun), but what keeps them here is that playing with others gave them a deep look into the relationship they have with their partner, and they absolutely love what they found there.

 

D

[Alura 2,774]

from Oklahoma, Glittersomemore!

 

The late Mrs. Alura and I promised each other that we would never become angry if a question were asked, no matter what it was, and that we would talk about the question until it was settled to both our satisfactions. I think that was key, not only to swinging, but to almost thirty years of happiness. Do what you feel is right, but in my opinion you won't be able to swing successfully with your man. Nor will you be able to create a lifetime of happiness together.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

This is from another post on the board but is still true in this case:

 

In order to be successful in swinging, you have to first have a rock solid relationship where you have great love, awesome communication, and an incredible amount of trust. Couples that come into swinging thinking it will save their relationship...are going to be disappointed. Some couples try swinging because they are looking for their current significant others' replacement. Unless you already have a great relationship, swinging will only make the flaws and shortcomings much more apparent. If one of the parties are already looking for an out, they will find one no matter what happens.

 

Good luck and best wishes.