Want to have MFM. Don’t know how to approach guys at the clubs/bars

[Fantasyfetish99 18]

Any tips on how you approach a guy at a club/bar and let him know that your wife finds him attractive and would like to get to know him better? My wife and I are both want to bring another guy into the bedroom, but feel awkward about how to approach it without looking like total weirdos.

[JandKinBoise 858]

It probably depends on the club or bar. Approaching someone in a vanilla bar about a 3some would be hard to pull off. Believe it or not, MFM is not on very many men's bucket list.

Your odds would increase greatly if you made contact thru a swinger site and asked to meet in a bar. At least everyone is on the same page and you'll have a chance to get to know him a little. Also, experience in this area is important. Newby group sex is a cluster.

I'd love to hear from anyone who ever went into a vanilla bar with the plan of bringing a guy home for an mfm. I know it happens sometimes randomly, but the odds for hunting must be really low. Unless there is a bar that caters to that. Here we have a cougar bar where older ladies and young men hang out. So maybe.

[Guest]

I'd agree with JandKinBoise.

 

Join a few swingers websites and meet a guy there, or go to a swingers party / club and meet a guy there.

 

I have had one experience of picking up a guy for a MFM threesome from a nightclub and really it didn't go down very well. We met the guy in a nightclub and got speaking to him, he seemed nice, we told him about out desires to have threesomes and asked if he would be interested? He panicked a little and ran off to think about our offer, I say ran off when actually all he did was go to find his friends and tell them all about our threesome offer, that he went to ask his straight vanilla friends what they thought which we did want or expect. I mean we didn't expect him to walk around the club telling his friends that we had offered him a MFM threesome but he did anyway.

 

Then when he finally agreed we left the club and found a private place and had a bumpy fairly boring MFM threesome where he struggled to get it up. After that we all returned to the club. Maybe a week later he turned up at the same club with his girlfriend on his arm and obviously acted like he didn't even know us and just walked past us. That actually during our threesome he was cheating on his girlfriend which we also had no idea about so for us picking up random guys from a club / bar didn't work out to well at all.

 

Swinging sites or proper swinging club or events would be a much easier way of meeting a man.

[Guest]

Our first MFM was with the guy half of a couple who had approached us about swinging. We originally met them in Key West staying at the same hotel and hung with them there a few evenings but there was turned down their later texted invited to meet and swing. The guy had come to Chicago for business and contacted us about meeting for drinks. We did and it led to MFM. I loved it, hubby, then bf seem to enjoy it as well.

 

So, our next 9 or so MFM all started in nice resort, hotel, or restaurant bars. The first of those was at a resort bar. We came in late from an evening out, sat down, had a drink and the guy next to us started chatting with us. I moved it to flirtation, kind of took it over, and then to seduction. At a point in time, hubby asked me if I knew what I was doing and I told him yes. He and i hadn’t really discussed having a 2nd MFM and especially not on that night but I was enjoying how both he and our new friend were responding to my seduction. The bar announced last round and I told the gentleman that bf and I were going back to our room to play and asked if he would be interested in joining us. He did. Each event has been similar, perhaps the biggest changes is that hubby tends to stay more engaged in the conversation, and I have become a bit more agressive with the seduction stage. I can’t say that it works every time I want it to, there seems to be tendency for younger guys to want my phone number or expect me to leave with them and not hubby, but I can’t complain that we had any real “dry” spells either. I enjoy it more than going to a club because its so spontaneous, kind of happens when the mood is right, no obligations as I would feel on an “appointment” set with a guy from SLS, and the whole chat or has hubby has come to call it, flirt and flaunt state really turns me on. And, even when it fails, both hubby and I are ready to go home and have really hot sex.

[TheBiggerMan 83]

You naughty girl.

[Brimba 30]

Any tips on how you approach a guy at a club/bar and let him know that your wife finds him attractive and would like to get to know him better? My wife and I are both want to bring another guy into the bedroom, but feel awkward about how to approach it without looking like total weirdos.

 

Make friends with those guys first - get to know them - then invite them in your bedroom or whatever to have sex.

[Erik13 157]

SLS. Finding a single guy there is as easy as getting a cup of coffee lol.

[pete c 34]

Our first MFM was with the guy half of a couple who had approached us about swinging. We originally met them in Key West staying at the same hotel and hung with them there a few evenings but there was turned down their later texted invited to meet and swing. The guy had come to Chicago for business and contacted us about meeting for drinks. We did and it led to MFM. I loved it, hubby, then bf seem to enjoy it as well.

 

So, our next 9 or so MFM all started in nice resort, hotel, or restaurant bars. The first of those was at a resort bar. We came in late from an evening out, sat down, had a drink and the guy next to us started chatting with us. I moved it to flirtation, kind of took it over, and then to seduction. At a point in time, hubby asked me if I knew what I was doing and I told him yes. He and i hadn’t really discussed having a 2nd MFM and especially not on that night but I was enjoying how both he and our new friend were responding to my seduction. The bar announced last round and I told the gentleman that bf and I were going back to our room to play and asked if he would be interested in joining us. He did. Each event has been similar, perhaps the biggest changes is that hubby tends to stay more engaged in the conversation, and I have become a bit more agressive with the seduction stage. I can’t say that it works every time I want it to, there seems to be tendency for younger guys to want my phone number or expect me to leave with them and not hubby, but I can’t complain that we had any real “dry” spells either. I enjoy it more than going to a club because its so spontaneous, kind of happens when the mood is right, no obligations as I would feel on an “appointment” set with a guy from SLS, and the whole chat or has hubby has come to call it, flirt and flaunt state really turns me on. And, even when it fails, both hubby and I are ready to go home and have really hot sex.

 

Excellent post and I agree 100% about the added excitement of picking someone up at a bar who isn't necessarily there for the specific purpose of fucking someone else's wife. There must be initially a deer in the headlights look from the lucky M. The only downside is the fact that there's a really good change you are about to go to bed with a cheater.

[Guest]

Excellent post and I agree 100% about the added excitement of picking someone up at a bar who isn't necessarily there for the specific purpose of fucking someone else's wife. There must be initially a deer in the headlights look from the lucky M. The only downside is the fact that there's a really good change you are about to go to bed with a cheater.

 

No more than with an SLS meet or from another social site, or if you meet someone at a sex club. Hell, I even had cheaters when I was single and used matchdot.

[Fantasyfetish99 18]

Thank you all for the feedback.

 

We are planning on going to our first local swinger event this September, which seems like an eternity away. The hotel where they have it at though is sketchy and is kind of in a ghetto area, so we are both curious what kind of train wreck that might be.

 

For the SLS site, we are on there, but have encountered nothing but flakes thus far.

[Fun-is-hot 20]

Is it strange to also help pick out the guy for your woman in a mmf? Would a woman find this odd? We have met a few guys who we thought were attractive but it is usually her saying so...would it be odd to ask another man details about size, etc in front of your woman?

[M1F2KTJ 473]

Any tips on how you approach a guy at a club/bar and let him know that your wife finds him attractive and would like to get to know him better?

 

Let your wife make the move. Just be friendly and flirt. Flirting goes a long way to "breaking the ice". Have her walk up to him and say hello if she sees someone she might be interested in. Guys know how it feels to be "shot down" so be sympathetic to your wife if a man shows no interest in her.

 

My wife and I played a game where she would walk into a bar by herself while I waited about five minutes or more before I went in. I would sit far away from her across the bar as if we didn't know each other. It was fun, for both of us, to watch guys flirting with her.

 

We had a few interesting encounters that way over the years.