Getting bored or maybe the flame went out?

[Chipmunk & Bear 16]

My partner and i have been together for four years this year, we are engaged and happily living together in sydney. But we don't seem to crave sex anymore? we hardly do it once a week if that, and he has never been one for trying new things or instigating sexual actions, but in all honesty i haven't pushed too hard, he knows that i crave passion and intimacy but he says he simply does not know how to be simply more...

i am just wondering if anyone can give some advice, i am considering taking him to a swingers club just for a walk through? any ideas?

[CandDinCo 69]

Can you tell us a little more about yourselves? Age, jobs, etc. Sometimes those things affect desire

[adamgunn 1,461]

Having new experiences can lift up your sex life. A nice evening at a bed and breakfast. A foray into something new, such as light bondage. There's a wonderful book called '101 Nights of Great Sex' by Laura Corn, available from Amazon and others. Basically, there's a number of sealed 'experiments' for either her or him. You open them secretly, then plan a night of sex. Before we got into swinging, it really helped my wife and I.

 

Having said that, swinging or thinking about it can get your motor running as well. Just make sure you go at the speed of the slowest partner, communicate and have fun.

 

Good luck.

[agreatguy 269]

My partner and i have been together for four years this year, we are engaged and happily living together in sydney. But we don't seem to crave sex anymore? we hardly do it once a week if that, and he has never been one for trying new things or instigating sexual actions, but in all honesty i haven't pushed too hard, he knows that i crave passion and intimacy but he says he simply does not know how to be simply more...

i am just wondering if anyone can give some advice, i am considering taking him to a swingers club just for a walk through? any ideas?

 

It doesn't sound as if you've talked to him about your concerns. Why not? Is it difficult to bring it up to him?

I could be wrong about the lines I'm reading between but if you two haven't talked about what's wrong in your sex life then entering into a swinging lifestyle isn't going to fix whatever is broken. It will expose and magnify it.

 

Good luck.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Sit down with him and ask about his fantasies, tell him yours, then see if you both want to reenact them in the bedroom...or make them happen for real. It all starts (even swinging) with a conversation and someone has to start it...might as well be you.

[couplers 4,724]

Having new experiences can lift up your sex life.

 

Or as has been suggested elsewhere, old experiences. I would get excited when my boyfriend Red, then later my husband David would tell me mystical tales of their sexual experiences with other women before me. The good ones, the fun ones, the funny ones. It can cause a little jealousy, but that's the point - your and your husband's pasts can be interesting, but they aren't a threat. Sadly, both of them exhausted their stories some time ago, but even now I revisit with hubby the time his girlfriend stopped the pill and used nonoxynol-9, which gave him an immediate burning penis reaction, causing him to jump out of her vagina and into the shower. I wish I had been there!

 

Thinking about it, what I do now is accuse them of having sex with someone I would like to see them with, then listen to their denials as I press the issue, alternately describing her body and accusing. Yeah, that turns me on...