Polite protection

[Out-N-About 52]

So, maybe it's a rude/odd question, but how does everyone ensure they're not getting with someone who has an STD? Always use protection, even when just sucking? Test beforehand? Etc.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

No assurance. Yinz jus never know, as we in Picksburgh would say.

[njbm 2,881]

We are 100% condom compliant for full swap. We realize that condoms are not fully protective against HPV and HSV. We get tested annually. We don’t ask for others’ tests, because if they have sex once after the test, the results are worthless. You have to be lucky in this hobby.

[Eddiem 139]

You can ask but as some responses have given if they test clean and have unprotected sex after well it is not worth anything. One can ask, safe sex is often practiced by many. We chose to have an old friend and he rode her bareback, came inside etc... giving her the greatest experience. But choose carefully.

So, maybe it's a rude/odd question, but how does everyone ensure they're not getting with someone who has an STD? Always use protection, even when just sucking? Test beforehand? Etc.

[agreatguy 269]

Out-N-About said:

So, maybe it's a rude/odd question, but how does everyone ensure they're not getting with someone who has an STD? Always use protection, even when just sucking? Test beforehand? Etc.

 

It's not a rude or odd question here as it's been asked many times. It may be awkward in a real life situation at first but that conversation should ever be considered rude by the couple you are interested in. If it is you should probably move on from them.

 

Actually there is a forum dedicated to it on this board. https://www.swingersboard.com/std-and-safe-sex-issues/

 

You'll see a variety of advice, theories and attitudes about the topic. They should be read but take the advice with as much discretion from anyone you would consider a stranger. It's mostly biased toward their own situations but it is informational about how others approach the topic.

 

Probably the most reliable information, medically and statistically speaking, is available here: https://www.cdc.gov/std/default.htm

 

You have to figure out what risks are worth taking FOR YOU and not anyone else then play by those rules. No decision on how one chooses to play is necessarily wrong but anyone not willing to comply with your decisions are not worth your time.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Quote

So, maybe it's a rude/odd question, but how does everyone ensure they're not getting with someone who has an STD? Always use protection, even when just sucking? Test beforehand? Etc.

How would you tell if you weren't swinging? At least swingers are open to talking about it and not taking offense when it is brought up. Most swingers are responsible and truthful when it comes to most things, including this and more than a few get regular testing. Life is a chance, but if nothing else, we still have a condom only rule for everyone.

[PeterJ 955]

As others have noted, this is not an odd question. And as they have suggested, there is always some degree of risk inherent in enjoying sex with others.

 

Complete security against STDs is only possible in the context of a couple in which both partners never have sexual contact with anyone else. Every person who is non-monogamous, whether a swinger or not, has to make that risk assessment for him- or herself. In my experience, most swingers in most circumstances use condoms for intercourse, but not for oral. Hopefully you two will find a happy place that balances the risk with the reward.

 

At the end of the day, if you and your partner are unwilling to accept any risk of contracting an STD, then soft swinging that consists of exhibitionism and voyeurism are probably going to be your limit. If those activities aren’t sufficient to gratify your erotic curiosities and interests, then other sports beckon. Swinging probably isn’t for you.

 

So, maybe it's a rude/odd question, but how does everyone ensure they're not getting with someone who has an STD? Always use protection, even when just sucking? Test beforehand? Etc.

[venusshaw 123]

There is always a risk, you can only minimize it but not eliminate it. We have seen married couples swapping and not using condoms because they think that if the partners are not using condoms then both are safe. It is believed that most lifestyle people do not do high risk sex with sex workers or complete strangers in the street and take self-precaution not to get STD. I have been asked about unprotected penetration since my guest is married with wife, but no means no. I do not allow unprotected penetration. I take the risk in oral, as there is very little risk of infection. I like to receive oral, and what kind of contraption can work as a protective of someone performing oral on a vagina? If there is no protection while doing oral on a vagina, it is a bit too much to suck a condom and be protected, while the other is not protected. I am more afraid of herpes than aids while doing oral.

[PeterJ 955]

venusshaw said:

I like to receive oral, and what kind of contraption can work as a protective of someone performing oral on a vagina?

My wife and I just to see what it was like once tried cunnilingus with a dental dam over her pussy. For me it was like licking a balloon. My wife didn’t enjoy it much either.

[Azzkicker 19]

njbm said:

We are 100% condom compliant for full swap. We realize that condoms are not fully protective against HPV and HSV. We get tested annually. We don’t ask for others’ tests, because if they have sex once after the test, the results are worthless. You have to be lucky in this hobby.

This is very incorrect thinking. Having sex after a clean test is far from negating the value of a test. Follow my thought experiment here and you will see why a clean test makes somebody far less risky:

 

Take a typical 40 year old with an STD (the guy you want to avoid). He's probably had sex with 200 people in his life, totaling maybe 1,000 incidents of sex. What are the odds that he got the STD from the last person and the last time he had sex? That's right, the odds are somewhere between 1/200 (0.005) and 1/1000 (0.001) that he got it from the last person. So, if he had a test before that last sex session, the test is about 99.9% likely to reflect his current STD status.

 

So a clean test, even if was taken half way through somebody's sex life to date, would be at least 50% accurate. Clean tests are far more informative than simply asking the other person or hoping you are lucky. Please stop repeating that logical sounding, but illogical, justification for not exchanging tests. It's dangerous thinking, and it makes people think there's nothing they can do, when they actually can improve their odds (nothing is guaranteed, but drive safely anyway).

[njbm 2,881]

I think you have to look at generally curable STDs like syphillis, gonorhhea and chylamidia differently than HPV and HSV. We’ve found venereal disease unusual ( but present) among swingers. HPV is common, so is HSV. You can get different strains of HPV multiple times.Men are generally not tested for it. There is a vaccine recommended for those under 45.

[JandKinBoise 858]

We have found a completely safe way to have sex with anyone.

[njbm 2,881]

Funny, but not fun.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

Trust your instincts. If you are planning to play always carry your own condoms.

[Tabota 40]

A friend had a bi boyfriend who liked to go to a discrete spot and give blowjobs to random guys. He never had any type of penetrative sex, nor received from anyone. He has periodontal disease and contracted AIDS thru giving oral. It's not as hard to pass on as you think. Even a healthy mouth that has been vigorously brushed can be susceptible (the bristles can cause micro-scratches that allow infection to spread from person to person... same as biting your cheek or eating really hot, spicy foods just before sex.... so avoid all those things before play!)

 

As for how to determine if someone is 'clean'... I like to ask for 'dirty stories', encourage them to brag about some of their crazier exploits to see if they disclose that they like bareback, play unprotected, travel with condoms, or play with unknowns... where they find their play partners, how often they play with others, etc... then I have more data to go by to decide if this is a risk I wish to take.

 

Anyone who is offended to be asked about their health status maybe should be avoided, as it's unlikely you are both on the same page.

 

Good luck!

[ladyface.333 17]

My husband and I try not to just bust up on a hangout haha. We like to know someone fairly well beforehand and have the comfort level in asking such a necessary question. If I'm not comfortable asking them that, then I am probably not ready to go the next step with them.