People Who Message With Short Messages

[introvertswingr 55]

I didn't know what to title this . One of my pet peeves is people who respond to your profile with "Hi". That's it. Or anything short along those lines. I took the time to write a profile, take the time to put more thought into your message. I am not good at small talk, so my response will likely either not happen or be "Hi" back. Ask me a question, engage me. Even with my small talk skill deficit, I will still put more into a message than that. Does this bother anyone else, or am I just insanely picky?

[Alura 2,774]

I think a lot of couples, particularly new ones, are embarrassed to be in the lifestyle. Some would like nothing better than to meet nameless in a dark room.

 

Perhaps you and your husband should draft a "form" letter to send to inquirers that expands on the information in your profile and asks them to respond in kind. Spend your efforts on those who are willing to tell you who they are and what they seek.

 

Your title is what it should be, to the point. Good job!

[agreatguy 269]

We saw this a lot from single guys but some couples as well when we had an online profile. I suspect the "couples" were male dominated in most cases meaning the guy did all the online stuff.

 

In both cases, my analogy is that they are fishing with a trot line. They're putting a lot of hooks in the water, as many as they can, with a little bit of bait on each hoping the fish will do all the work and jump on the hook. If they put a thousand hooks out there and are successful 1 percent of the time that's 10 connections.

You can't spend any time on any one couple(fish) though. You've got to keep moving and baiting. Writing and then copying and pasting a form introduction would be slightly better but it's easy enough to see through so the same 1% is probably going to respond.

 

They need to be fishing with a crank bait. Cast a a single line and make a skillful presentation of the bait to the couple(fish), work it a little, maybe even throw it back to the same spot a few times if you know the prey is there.(A couple that openly says they want what you offer or a fish you can see in the water). Show them or tell them why it would be a good idea to bite and then follow up especially if there is a nibble.

 

Just put it on your profile what you need to hear from them. If they can't read the profile and do what you ask they aren't going to be worth spending any time on. They're fishing with a trot line and obviously you need to see a crank bait. Don't waste your time responding. Just ignore them or block them and keep looking.

 

Sorry if the analogy is confusing or offensive in any way.

[introvertswingr 55]

We saw this a lot from single guys but some couples as well when we had an online profile. I suspect the "couples" were male dominated in most cases meaning the guy did all the online stuff.

 

In both cases, my analogy is that they are fishing with a trot line. They're putting a lot of hooks in the water, as many as they can, with a little bit of bait on each hoping the fish will do all the work and jump on the hook. If they put a thousand hooks out there and are successful 1 percent of the time that's 10 connections.

You can't spend any time on any one couple(fish) though. You've got to keep moving and baiting. Writing and then copying and pasting a form introduction would be slightly better but it's easy enough to see through so the same 1% is probably going to respond.

 

They need to be fishing with a crank bait. Cast a a single line and make a skillful presentation of the bait to the couple(fish), work it a little, maybe even throw it back to the same spot a few times if you know the prey is there.(A couple that openly says they want what you offer or a fish you can see in the water). Show them or tell them why it would be a good idea to bite and then follow up especially if there is a nibble.

 

Just put it on your profile what you need to hear from them. If they can't read the profile and do what you ask they aren't going to be worth spending any time on. They're fishing with a trot line and obviously you need to see a crank bait. Don't waste your time responding. Just ignore them or block them and keep looking.

 

Sorry if the analogy is confusing or offensive in any way.

 

You had me at a fishing example

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Hi!

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Sorry, couldn't pass that one up...

 

You're right. We always try to say SOMETHING that is tied back to the profile to let them know that we took the time to read it and hope that they will take the time to read ours. Being polite just isn't as popular these days, I guess...

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

Yes, it might be minimal investment "fishing". An alternate explanation is that the authors have forgotten (or never acquired) basic social skills. In our era of emoji-laden texts, communication that is respectful, meaningful, and direct has become rare. Given that the LS is essentially "adult dating" and thus requires some semblance of etiquette, respect, and sensitivity, we tend to ignore contacts limited to "Hi!". We receive them especially frequently on Kik, where they are clearly robotic in origin.

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

Being polite just isn't as popular these days, I guess...

Being polite might not be popular, but it can be extraordinarily effective. Social graces matter, even when (especially when?) intimacy is contemplated. We observe that negotiation towards mutual consent for adult play underpins the LS: politeness matters.

[findinganswers 369]

If we can govern with short tweets some may not be able to put too many thoughts together to have a meaningful dialog

[Alura 2,774]

You had me at a fishing example

 

"The Great Mystery adds a moon to our lives for each sun we spend fishing."

 

Pretty Lance

Cheyenne Wutapiu Band

[JandKinBoise 858]

Maybe just a coincidence but we gave a couple 'one worders' a chance. They aren't casting a big net. They aren't trying to be mysterious. Its just lazy guys doing the bare minimum to get a chance to do the bare minimum.

[2NoLimit 95]

Hi!

 

“Hi” such a small word...yet so powerful! Everything starts with “Hi” including how we met our significant other

 

We have had that message a few times, we take it like a nudge, or like, as to look at their profile. If we see something we like, then we respond. If not, then we leave it at that.

 

We actually prefer a “Hi” over a long drafted over the top email that you know it’s been over used.

[introvertswingr 55]

“Hi” such a small word...yet so powerful! Everything starts with “Hi” including how we met our significant other

 

We have had that message a few times, we take it like a nudge, or like, as to look at their profile. If we see something we like, then we respond. If not, then we leave it at that.

 

We actually prefer a “Hi” over a long drafted over the top email that you know it’s been over used.

 

That is one positive way to look at it. I am so bad at small talk, that my response would be "hi" and then end of conversation. I need people to meet me at least halfway with the small talk.

[Sawman 84]

Are you referring to a dating site? Those short messages are often bots. I don't respond to anything that doesn't fit my interest area and doesn't have something distinctive like a first name and a location.

[introvertswingr 55]

Are you referring to a dating site? Those short messages are often bots. I don't respond to anything that doesn't fit my interest area and doesn't have something distinctive like a first name and a location.

 

Yes-- a dating site. Craigslist before it got canned. Even after talking to some of these people, having a conversation has been like pulling teeth.

[shy_couple 459]

Not a fan of the one word introduction. In our case, we found early this happens more with single guys. If you reply back with a generic brush off, they come back with “it was only a hi.”

 

We do the dance back and forth with one word responses a couple of times before asking to get to th point. Tend to agree with the fishing analogy. You can really n a mile of long line or drop a worm in the water (pun intended). You will most likely catch something on the long line.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

How about something more like:

 

Hi. We read your profile and liked what you had to say, especially (fill in something actually from their profile). Please read ours and see if there is any mutual interest. Hope to hear back from you...

 

Short, but lets them know you read everything they had to say and that you're interested. At this point the ball is in their court. If they reply, great, if not, it wasn't a match (or there were some other reason...troll).

[M1F2KTJ 473]

I agree. There should be more than "hi". WTF?. I/we however like short responses. I guess we/I have short attention spans and are not interested in anyone's life story.