First Time Poster

[ToeDippers 83]

We found this board while searching for swing type partners. We had joined several sites to find a female to join us. I didn’t think that would work. It didn’t. Maybe we are living in a fantasy world.

Us, a couple who met in college, married, had kids, kids are out of the house. We are empty nesters. I will say we have been faithful to each other. We have joked about what it would be like to have others. My wife claims she has thought of bringing a woman to join us more than wanting a man. I thought she said that because she doesn’t want to upset me. Our porn always centered on lesbian and 3some dvds.

A few years ago we searched for a woman. Think all the contacts were men. We joined a pay swinger site looking for a couple who were more interested in wives playing. We even met a few couples, and either we were finding them our type or they ran from us.

We went to a club. We are not exhibitionists nor did we find a couple there we would want to be with.

We do frequent regular clubs where there are many single women who like to dance. We have become friendly with many of them only in that social setting. My wife and I think there are more than one we would like to ask. I said it would be a terrible idea to even hint at what we are thinking.

Was it this hard for everybody?

[padoc 1,704]

You're looking for a unicorn and so is nearly everybody else. Good luck with that.

[ToeDippers 83]

Think we know there is no such thing as a unicorn except in porn. Reading half the things posted on this board read like a porn story. I would think there are other women who are curious like my wife. Maybe even a couple who only want the wives to play. We aren’t looking for couples on this board. I am posting for thoughts and suggestions.

[JandKinBoise 859]

Welcome! There is a lot of info here. You may be able to lessen the anxiety somewhat if you know what you are getting into. You hit on it though by looking for another couple, with wife play being the goal. This seems to be a popular jumping off point.

There are other women with the same desires, LOTS. Almost none ever act on those desires. That's the wall that needs to be broken down. Big wall, good luck.

Allow your wife to approach a woman at the dance club. It won't be her first, trust me. Over the years, my wife has been seriously flirted with by many other women. She's straight AF but was always flattered.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Unicorns do exist, but they are VERY RARE and hard to find (as you have found out). Even after finding one, there's no promise of a match. That's why most couples look for other couples since there are just more of them out there to find. Even still, finding a match is going to be difficult...but while it will take some time and effort, it can be worth all the work when you do find that match. You really only have two options: keep looking and hoping to find your match or just give up, but once you found a match it really is worth the effort. Good luck.

[cplnluv1 874]

Our original search was like yours. I had been with women before I got married. Alan never got to see me like that. We looked on Craigslist before they banned those types of ads. We answered plenty of ads that said they were women looking for couples. All fake. We even posted our own ads. Plenty of fakes answered us. Plenty of guys. No unicorns. We finally decided on looking for couples with bi females. After many more fake emails we found a couple. We were so used to fakes that we thought this was fake too. Their pictures didn’t ring true, she too cute, he too good a body. Why would they want us? We did meet them and the picture was them.

Since we found it so hard to find what we wanted we started to meet other couples looking for the same thing we had been wanting. We only answered if they were brand new to this and the female was curious. Our meetings were always respectful of the woman’s wants.

If you contact a couple on a swinger site be truthful about what you are looking for. Let them know sex with the husband may not happen. There are many men who will be happy to just watch.

Good luck.

[venusshaw 123]

Single women also want to have unattached sex and one night stands and some of them are bi. There is no one answer as to how to and where to find one. Ask, and thou shall receive, asketh not, receiveth not. If you ask you may receive, if declined - you are in the same position as before you asked, so keep looking. Best of luck. There is another angle that you may have overlooked. You could find someone like me who will play without her husband or just husband watching and not playing.

[ToeDippers 83]

Single women also want to have unattached sex and one night stands and some of them are bi. There is no one answer as to how to and where to find one. Ask, and thou shall receive, asketh not, receiveth not. If you ask you may receive, if declined - you are in the same position as before you asked, so keep looking. Best of luck. There is another angle that you may have overlooked. You could find someone like me who will play without her husband or just husband watching and not playing.

We know that finding exactly what we are looking for is very difficult. We have been very picky in who we would want to do this with. We want someone close to our age and we have to be attracted to both physically and socially. I don’t need to be involved. I would like to watch at the very least. We have decided that the right couple with the husband or partner watching also is acceptable.

The search is exciting.

[venusshaw 123]

We know that finding exactly what we are looking for is very difficult. We have been very picky in who we would want to do this with. We want someone close to our age and we have to be attracted to both physically and socially. I don’t need to be involved. I would like to watch at the very least. We have decided that the right couple with the husband or partner watching also is acceptable.

The search is exciting.

 

Great. each one to themselves. I assume you are looking for sex and not compatibility? What has age got to do with sex? Spread your net wider then it wil be easier to find what you want. What makes you think a 30 year fucks better than a 60 year or vice versa?

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

What makes you think a 30 year fucks better than a 60 year...

 

Practice, practice, practice

[venusshaw 123]

Practice, practice, practice

 

Perfect, Perfect, Perfect.

[ToeDippers 83]

Great. each one to themselves. I assume you are looking for sex and not compatibility? What has age got to do with sex? Spread your net wider then it wil be easier to find what you want. What makes you think a 30 year fucks better than a 60 year or vice versa?

 

We are looking for sex with someone we are compatible with even if it’s just a one time thing. I think there should be an attraction physically. I would want to watch my wife with someone good looking. I wouldn’t tell you who to be with. Maybe to you a 60 year old is exciting, to us it would feel like a parent. Some may want older people. We don’t. Does that make us bad?

[adamgunn 1,461]

ToeDippers, I'm well over sixty, and I appreciate your comment. No, having attraction to a particular age / weight / color of hair / whatever doesn't make you bad, it makes you human.

 

If we ever see each other in a swing club, I'll be happy to buy the two of you a drink, and I wouldn't expect you to go to a private room with us.

 

BTW, some sixty year olds screw very, very well, as do some thirty year olds. I know from personal experience.

[ToeDippers 83]

ToeDippers, I'm well over sixty, and I appreciate your comment. No, having attraction to a particular age / weight / color of hair / whatever doesn't make you bad, it makes you human.

 

If we ever see each other in a swing club, I'll be happy to buy the two of you a drink, and I wouldn't expect you to go to a private room with us.

 

BTW, some sixty year olds screw very, very well, as do some thirty year olds. I know from personal experience.

 

I am happy you understand. This is more than just having sex for us. It is an experience that we want to remember. Neither of us know if there will be a next time. I think if we continue to do more things we might experiment.

 

I am not sure if we are ready for a club. It would be fun to have a drink with you if we ever go. I would think it would be interesting to listen to someone with experience. We came to this site seeking advice sort of anonymously.

 

As far as sixty year olds screwing very very well, I sure hope so. I would hate to think sex ends at an early age.

 

At this point we are first exploring. It’s all one step at a time. That unicorn is elusive. Our primary search centers on the women playing. I think a soft swap with a couple is possible.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

We're buying the first round.

[venusshaw 123]

We are looking for sex with someone we are compatible with even if it’s just a one time thing. I think there should be an attraction physically. I would want to watch my wife with someone good looking. I wouldn’t tell you who to be with. Maybe to you a 60 year old is exciting, to us it would feel like a parent. Some may want older people. We don’t. Does that make us bad?

 

Of course it is your choice. There is nothing good or bad about anything - either it is legal or illegal. Everything else is each one to themselves. I am just curious - your wife is fucking this man, you are watching her expressions, while she is in the act - her eyes are probably closed. You are watching this attractive man, instead of watching your wife enjoying the fuck? If attraction is in the eye of the beholder, who is the beholder? Too complicated. Don't worry, just go out and have fun, and don't spoil it for her by being too demanding.

[ToeDippers 83]

Of course it is your choice. There is nothing good or bad about anything - either it is legal or illegal. Everything else is each one to themselves. I am just curious - your wife is fucking this man, you are watching her expressions, while she is in the act - her eyes are probably closed. You are watching this attractive man, instead of watching your wife enjoying the fuck? If attraction is in the eye of the beholder, who is the beholder? Too complicated. Don't worry, just go out and have fun, and don't spoil it for her by being too demanding.

 

Can I ask what the hell are you talking about? Where did you get that she is fucking a guy and I’m watching her expression. We are talking about her being with another woman.

[ToeDippers 83]

Okay, you really should consider hiring an elite call girl. This way you can have that fantasy experience, get your first time in and perhaps have a shift in perspective that helps. As you're in the Northeast, plan a trip to NY and hire Marla Lyons, or someone like that.

 

The funny thing is we talked about finding a prostitute. I thought Craigslist had them and they don’t. I googled and saw some listings. Some looked like druggies. We decided against it. Neither of wanted to chance it.

We looked at your Marla Lyons website. She has a great body. When we saw her price I suggested my wife should think about it. That didn’t go over well. Having dinner and a sleepover is way out of anything we would do.

Then she wants references and my LinkedIn page. We rather stay anonymous.

 

We did meet a couple that we like. My wife chickened out after getting pretty close. We are building up to meeting them again.

[agreatguy 269]

Sesta/Fosta effectively shut down the prostitutes on Craigslist.

 

I don't think approaching a single woman in a "regular club" is all that bad of an idea. If they are there any amount of time and are out on the floor dancing with other women I guarantee you they've been propositioned before so it wouldn't be that big of a deal even to the ones who aren't interested. Encourage your wife to casually flirt a little. It can be fun just doing that once you get back into it a little. Those women are there looking to meet people just like you are and probably don't mind the attention. If the flirting is reciprocated your wife can invite her for a drink with you two. I wouldn't bring anything more up right away and especially not with you as a part of that initial conversation of the topic but maybe back out on the dance floor your wife can bring it up. You just need to be charming to the other woman yet attentive to your wife. If she gets shot down for whatever reason just move on to the next one.

[ToeDippers 83]

Sesta/Fosta effectively shut down the prostitutes on Craigslist.

 

I don't think approaching a single woman in a "regular club" is all that bad of an idea. If they are there any amount of time and are out on the floor dancing with other women I guarantee you they've been propositioned before so it wouldn't be that big of a deal even to the ones who aren't interested. Encourage your wife to casually flirt a little. It can be fun just doing that once you get back into it a little. Those women are there looking to meet people just like you are and probably don't mind the attention. If the flirting is reciprocated your wife can invite her for a drink with you two. I wouldn't bring anything more up right away and especially not with you as a part of that initial conversation of the topic but maybe back out on the dance floor your wife can bring it up. You just need to be charming to the other woman yet attentive to your wife. If she gets shot down for whatever reason just move on to the next one.

 

Friday night we went to one of the bars we frequent that has live music. We know many of the people there just from going so many times. We call them our music friends, we don’t know most of their names. My wife was talking to this one friend in the ladies room. She had a a great tan and my wife asked her where she went. She told my wife she went to an all inclusive in Mexico with another woman we only know from the bar.

It ended up they went to Desires. We just figured it was a regular resort like secrets. I looked it up on my phone to see it was a swingers resort. Later my wife was talking to her again and asked if it was fun, and general questions about food and entertainment. They never discussed that it was a swinger resort.

I said that we should ask her if she wants to join us. My wife said you can’t just ask her like that. I said she should talk to her next time we see her.

[TricianMike 788]

Hi Hun. Been following your threads. This woman looks like what you need. If she went to Desires with another woman she is very likely open to playing with couples. If you know her from a social situation make sure you don’t mind others knowing. She doesn’t mind letting people know she went to Desires she most likely doesn’t keep secrets.

[DeAw 17]

Hi. My boyfriend and I are new to the LS. We went to a club and left because I found it dirty and seedy. We are having the same type of issues. I told him we are like “Dumb and Dumber” when it comes to this.