When did the wives get interested in L.S?

[aboveaveragejoe 16]

Just curious when did they/yall really get interested in trying? From reading past posts seems guy introduces the idea gets shot down then years later wife gets interested.

 

Is it because years later the Mrs. developed a physical attraction to a guy and decides to give it a go?

[EastInWest 1,524]

I think we are a little different because we started out having casual sex, and were always open about the fact we had seen/were seeing other people early on. Talking openly about sex was a formative part of our relationship.

 

So, some years after that phase ended and we'd been exclusive for a long time, at some point I mentioned that I'd get off on watching her give head. She was startled by the idea that that might turn somebody on, but it wasn't some huge controversy. A couple days later she brought it up on her own in the car, asking if I was serious, and said she could potentially get into that.

 

Maybe two years later of regular open discussion, especially during sex, about what we might be into and where our boundaries were with each other, clubs and strangers weren't really on the table, she had some moral doubts about pushing ahead, and we didn't really get anywhere with it until she found people she trusted who were already experimenting, and then we went ahead and joined them to see what happened.

[Guest]

We were still just dating and we met another couple at a topless beach, hung with them for a few days around Key West and they later contacted us to meet and “join them.” We said no but got us talking about it and a few months later, we happened into it.

[SoORCouple 22]

We've been married for 17 years and have a very solid marriage. Through thick and thin, through some horrid times, and some awesome times too, we're united. Our sex life has generally been awesome, but there were periods were it became bad due time crunches, health issues, etc. We went through a spell like that and then had a breakthrough in the summer of 2017. We started fucking like rabbits again, discussing ideas, etc., and that's when the idea of including other people came up, and we started pursuing said. Our work lives have been nuts since then, so progress is slow, but still being made. So, it was kind of spontaneous for us and we were both thinking about it before talking.

[adamgunn 1,460]

We got married in our mid-30's, did the typical monogamoush life for twenty years. Then things changed, we started talking about erotic stories and our past lovers and then after three years of exploration, we made a joint decision to go to a swing club. Ten days later we were firmly entrenched in the LifeStyle.

 

No, it wasn't because she became infatuated with anyone, it just sort of evolved . . .

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Is it because years later the Mrs. developed a physical attraction to a guy and decides to give it a go?

 

Absolutely not. First wife not only would have said HELL NO, but made me sleep in the other room for at least a week (most of the time she thought I was cheating on her anyways even thought I wasn't). We just didn't have a healthy enough or solid enough relationship. After that ended, I was determined not to make the same mistake again so I worked from the start to have a open honest relationship while I was still dating. I met a woman who was interested in the same thing. At some point, we talked about our sexual pasts and our fantasies. We both wanted to try the same things and so she said if I could find another interested couple she would consider it. I did, they did, we did...

[agreatguy 269]

Absolutely not. First wife not only would have said HELL NO, but made me sleep in the other room for at least a week (most of the time she thought I was cheating on her anyways even thought I wasn't). We just didn't have a healthy enough or solid enough relationship. After that ended, I was determined not to make the same mistake again so I worked from the start to have a open honest relationship while I was still dating. I met a woman who was interested in the same thing. At some point, we talked about our sexual pasts and our fantasies. We both wanted to try the same things and so she said if I could find another interested couple she would consider it. I did, they did, we did...

 

This is my first marriage as well. I couldn't even comment on the looks of another woman without paying dearly. I just got to the point that I didn't say much at all in regards to sex because it would be twisted into something it wasn't.

 

To the question of the OP. I had a couple of short term relationships that I thought might lead to some sort of involvement with others, alas, it wasn't received well and I ended them because I knew what I wanted and knew there had to be someone out there who wanted the same. So I decided to try to lead with that since I wasn't getting any younger. I figured if it was important enough to me that it ruined otherwise good relationships it was important enough for me to find someone willing to hear what I had to say UPFRONT so as not to waste the time of either of us.

 

I put an ad on a traditional dating site that I was looking for not so traditionally monogamous sexual experiences in an otherwise committed, loving and emotionally monogamous relationship.(the dating website made me reword my ad several times before they would publish it). I got several responses some positive and a few negative. I received one from the woman who would become my wife asking if we could discuss what my intentions were. After a couple of weeks( she was actually out of the country ) and several long emails detailing what we wanted from life, a life partner and the lifestyle we finally met.

 

I had had some experience as a single guy after my divorce. She had no experience but wasn't naive. She was interested and willing to explore the idea. One thing that really appealed to me was the relationships of the people I got to know. They could talk about anything. They seemed like they had complete trust in each other and approached things as a team. That was something I never had when I was married. The jealousy never allowed it. I wanted that with my own partner. I have it.

 

When we are out at clubs and people ask us how we met I tell them exactly how we met and that this desire and willingness really is a pillar that our relationship was built on. It's not the most important or the most significant but it is a part of the very foundation of who we are as a couple. It has been since day 1.

[couplers 4,649]

From the time I met him up to the present, my boyfriend, now husband, let me keep seeing and having sex with my ex-fiance. A couple years later I overcame my jealousy and started setting him up with women, which was a good move for me because it opened me up to my Lesbian side.