Anyone not have fun at first swinging?

[agreatguy 269]

Some would laugh off some of the physical stuff. The fact that it was an emotional bother probably led to it not being so funny.

 

We had some hiccups getting started. It mostly came down to me not reading her signals as well as I thought I was going to be able to and then reacting accordingly.

[Nolongernoobs 16]

Our first time sucked as well. As the female, I felt exactly like your wife, and it didn’t help that the other female through a tantrum afterwards because she got cold feet AFTER the fact. My husband was also unable to perform and overall it just sucked. We are excited to get back out there and try again, this time with people we don’t actually know too well because it harbors too many emotions.

[couplers 4,649]

We had some hiccups getting started..

As an adult, I usually don't get hiccups anymore, but once I got them as we started playing. I was told the oral I did was different, but nice.

[couplers 4,649]

Sometimes the jitters can be reduced by initially playing alone. The first dozen times or so when we started, both of us just had fun with someone else. First me with my ex-fiance. After the guys met socially, hubby and boyfriend and I started MFMing sometimes. About two years later hubby started with a woman that liked him and I set them up. Unfortunately, the first several woman didn't want me there, but eventually we found women who were not only eager to let me watch, but also had a Lesbian side.

[Aerofan1973 18]

If you do not mind me as long, what cues did you miss at first?

[Aerofan1973 18]

Glad I did not throw a temper tantrum. With wife and I, we have body cues if one gets uncomfortable now. Better than just not saying anything or making an obvious out loud statement.

[Jane1902 476]

Do you know what part of it made you feel nauseous? Was it actually seeing her with another man? Sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality and leave it at that. This may or may not be for you. Curious what was the venue and how well you knew the other guy as that can factor in too. There are also many other posts about men not being able to perform the first time, it happens.

[Forsakn1987 15]

Wasn't just you. Had our first experience and watched the 2 girls have some fun before we split off into 2 different bedrooms. Couldn't stay hard, just seemed like the girl wasn't into it, like she was just doing it for her bf...idk but our first wasn't all that great, so you are not alone.

[couplers 4,649]

... our first MMF I was very unable to perform, felt like I was going to vomit.. My wife .. did get off once apparently ..

Seems to me that you were nervous but your wife had an OK time of it if she was able to get off. Try other approaches: even a limp penis will go into a mouth so she should suck you up and/or off; she could play with him alone and then you could have sex with her; you could just watch the part you like (maybe up until the part they're actually fucking) then leave; you could try swapping with a couple where the excitement of a new partner for you takes you mind off what your wife is doing. Sometimes small adjustments to the input result in large changes to the output. Don't give up, keep trying, talking about it, adjusting and seeking different adventures. Good luck and keep us posted.

[Eddiem 139]

When wife and I had our first MMF I was very unable to perform, felt like I was going to vomit and could not wait for it to end. My wife felt like she was cheating and did not enjoy it at first (she did get off once apparently but was affraid to tell me as she picked up eventually my inability to perform). The guys knee actually hit me in the temporal part of the head and I had a headache for the rest of the day. We did nothing after that for a few and watching more porn on the topic. Did anyone have a bad/odd experience for their first time???? Or just us ☺☺☺

Bad nah but with our friend it basically turned into a show for me to watch as the two of them went at it. I always say how awesome it is to see nature take over... she was a little uncomfortable until he entered her and started thrusting then her body demanded it... as he was about to cum he pulled out and she put it back in. Awesome.

[bbarnsworth 2,640]

When my wife and I were first getting into swinging, we discussed many scenarios including ones where things didn't go as well as we wanted. We both agreed that we should not judge swinging by our first few experiences. Just like dating, some experiences are not going to be good, while others will be better. The first man she had sex with in swinging was ok. Not great, not bad, just ...meh. It was fun, but not tons of fun. The second guy she met was more her type. We had an MFM with him, and he was incredible for her. She. Could. Not. Get. Enough. Sex. From. Him. Hours later, after many orgasms, we got in the car to head home. No sooner did we have the doors closed, and she said "Ok, NOW I'm a swinger!" Since then, there have been some duds, there have been some great ones. She's managed to keep a couple of the great ones around for some years.

 

Don't judge swinging by the first, or even first several, experiences. It might be not what you really want, but it's very hard to know that from one experience. First time jitters are very, very common. The first couple we played with (a soft swap), I had a very hard time maintaining an erection. I really, really enjoyed the wife in the other couple. I still think about her from time to time today, though it's been years. But, I was too nervous. We got to play with them a second time, and I had no problems.

 

Swinging isn't what we were told about growing up. We're only taught monogamy. It can be mentally challenging to adjust to it, but most people do.

 

Another tip; my wife and I have a 'golden parachute' rule. Either one of us can pull the plug without explanation in the moment. If used, we would simply get dressed, explain that we need to leave, and politely excuse ourselves. Once we're in the car we can discuss it, but not in the moment. It gives full power to both of us to end something if we're not comfortable. We've never used it, but it's always there.