Single guys from NSA groups - worth our time?

[WeRblk2curious 26]

Hello and good morning / day to the group!

 

My situation today that I need some sagely advice on: Single Guys from NSA (No Strings Attached) Groups.

 

So let me explain a bit: The wife would like to experience a MFM threesome as part of her fantasy fulfillment. Of course, we haven't had much luck on the websites meeting MF couples for play...seems like when we meet a couple from any of the main groups in our area (SLS, Quiver, C4P) and we go on our first date, it ends with a (sometimes tactful, sometimes not) rejection.

 

So on a suggestion from some of our Lifestyle Friends, we have been joining groups on KIK,and a lot of the Lifestyle groups on KIK in our area, everyone seems to already be in a "clique". meaning they already have their relationships, and aren't very open to meeting / playing with anyone new. So most times in these groups we discuss topics, and listen to people's conversations, but nothing seems to come our way.

 

Upon one conversation, we heard tell of a group of groups where singles (both male and female) hang out that were friendly, so we joined those groups hoping still to meet a single female to play with.

 

Well, joining as a couple, we chat and talk about what we are looking for, and of course, the wife gets hit with a lot of side PMs (Private Messages) from Single Guys, mostly looking to see if the wife is DTF and willing to play alone. Of course simply telling no to many of them usually kills it pretty quickly, but there seems to be one gentleman who my wife has been chatting with that has got her attention, as he said he is willing to be in an MFM.

 

They have been flirting hot and heavy for about a week now, So she asked me if we could set something up for the weekend. Well, as it turns out, due to some unforeseen expenses, we are really low on cash this week, and after joining their chat to get to try to know the guy, I casually mentioned that we could go half in on a hotel room if he was serious. He said he didn't have the finances to do that, and suggested we play in the car outside of where we meet, if we felt comfortable. That raised a red flag for me, because I definitely do not feel comfortable doing that outside of a (chain restaurant) in the parking lot.

 

So in further talking to the gent, I asked how long he had been in the LS, and he said "What's an LS?" So I asked him if any what his experiences had been and he said his last "hookup" had been a "Married woman, who he met once or twice a week for sex. But it was cool, because I believe her husband knew".

 

AT THIS POINT, I definitely don't think the guy is legit. I think he is most likely a Single Guy who is just cruising for a good time, without him putting in much effort. I told the wife that I do not believe that this guy is worth our time.

 

She on the other hand, and I understand her frustration, is totally just about to give up on being in the LS as we've had only one play encounter in the year we've been in, and all our recent attempts to connect and meet people have been duds.

 

So, what is your advice in this situation? I've said I don't want to play in the parking lot of a restaurant (too much could go wrong, and it would be next to impossible to have an MFM in a mid size SUV without tinted windows) and his unwillingness to even try to pay for half of a hotel room makes it a non starter at this point. (I don't know what he plans to do if we meet first at the restaurant, just sit there and sip water?)

 

And how do I broach the subject with the wife to get her to not give up? I've had a group chat with our other lifestyle friends and her to try and help understand that things take time, but she looks at them having their fun and looks at us as not having any, and it's like she feels they don't understand. I try to reassure each day that she is beautiful and sexy, and that meeting people takes time, because at the end of the day it's not just about sex. It is about relationships, intimate ones. Otherwise, it would be easier...

Thoughts?

[Jane1902 476]

I know it’s not always easy to find the people you want to play with. And that is after wading through the fakes and flakes. On the other side of the computer screen can be anyone. If you rush through the experience likely won’t be as much fun as you hoped. I don’t like multiple emails leading nowhere. Meet before you intend to play, just a drink no need to do dinner. I have been meeting potentials in a local park with good results. Trust your instincts, back of a car no way! Have you thought about a club? Try a party?

[adamgunn 1,460]

Well, I understand your frustration. We had a great amount of success finding single males on SLS. We simply put it in our profile that we were welcome to that, the enquires started pouring in!

 

However, weeding through the chaff is a tremendous challenge. After a while my wife simply said 'you do it,' and I went through the emails and first contacts until I found that the gentleman seemed real and probably desirable to her. I then took the profile and pictures to her for her reaction. If she enjoyed it, we set up a TELEPHONE conversation with him, to ensure he was somewhat real and that he had his flirt on. Only then did we proceed to a date at a bar. It was my wife's option to go forward from that point, possibly that very night.

 

Now, put it in your profile that you can't host. If the man is serious, he'll either be able to invite you both to his home for some fun, or be willing to pay for the hotel.

 

Good luck.

[agreatguy 269]

Follow your gut on this guy she's been talking to. He's not worth the trouble. Perhaps you need to do some prescreening for her to weed out some of the undesireables. She may be getting frustrated at the amount of time it takes and it does take a lot of time. That's exactly why we got off the sites. Fortunately we have a much larger metro area and several clubs to choose from.

 

It seems like perhaps you've got a little bit of Facebook syndrome going on. Unrealistic perceptions of your friends level of happiness. You have to move at your own pace and not compare that to anyone else. You're setting yourself up for disappointment if you do. There is always going to be someone who had a great time at the last party or met this perfect couple just they click with. What you aren't hearing about, most likely is all the disappointments it took to reach that one exciting time.

 

This shouldn't be something you feel like you have to do or give up on. There shouldn't be goals you feel like you need to reach or items you HAVE to check off of a list. There should just be things you want to try. If it something either of you is feeling like giving up on then one or both of you is feeling pressure. You need to figure out why, where that's coming from and address it.

 

Sure there will be frustrations and disappointments along the way but hopefully that strengthens you as a couple which will make it more fun. In the end you have each other and you're doing this together because you both want to. That's what it's all about.

[BobGann 40]

There are PLENTY of single guys out there who would be happy to split the cost of a room, so just keep looking. I think you are right in that this guy is just cruising for some quick, no strings fun, and maybe doesn't want to get involved in registering or being seen at a hotel if he's married and doing this on the side or something.

 

Patience and persistence are required, but I think if you find the right guy and can click on meeting arrangements without all this hassle it'll be a good indicator you'll click behind closed doors too.

[a naughty girl 15]

We live in a country with only few hundred thousand people, so we have been pretty paranoid when trying to find people, couples singles and women, which you perhaps are not but here is how we have been trying to do it.

 

We are mostly afraid when meeting singles because them we dont want to see again, in the supermarket, the gym or something. We have created accounts on SDC which seems to have plenty of singles and on there people validate each other and confirm that the accounts are represented by real people. However since we are so afraid that we might meet them afterwards we have targeted people that post that they are on vacation, and that seems to filter out most of our fears and there are plenty of travelers.

 

You can also create a tinder profile with just a body image and in the text you explain what you are looking for and what information you would like from them, we do that as well and again we only target foreigners

 

I dont think single men should be difficult to find but of course you need to have patients.

 

And when you target foreigners or just travelers, then the hotel room is generally included and already paid for