one first timer, one previous lifestyler

[Tclg 15]

I’m struggling to come to terms with the fact that I’ll be figuring this all out on my own? He knows what goes on, the other couple will most likely know what goes on, how things work, the hilarious, the awkwardness, how sexy it can get.

 

All the stories are of couples sorting it all out together. I was just wondering if anyone out there went through the same situation.

 

Because I’m 100% down and don’t want to let awkwardness (which am) get in the way of it. I feel I’d just be mute and let him do everything, and it wouldn’t be the normal introduction, he would never do this to me on purpose, but it could potentially move too quickly.

 

Any thoughts on the subject?

[TwoFunTexans 103]

Remembering when it was all new, the unknown had this air of mystery. Once you get going you'll see it's just hanging out with cool people, going with the flow, and sexy good times. If you're down with giving it a try who better than your partner to reassure you it's fine? You have a leg up on most people, so I'd consider that something good to rely on where most people struggled needlessly together. ?

[adamgunn 1,460]

I agree. Don't worry about it too much. Have fun. And if you're not having fun, don't let yourself get talked into going further than you wish to.

[agreatguy 269]

Don't overthink this too much but let him know exactly how you are feeling.

My wife and I had a similar situation. I had some very limited experience. She had knowledge of the lifestyle but no experience. However, like you she was all in as long as she was comfortable. She kept telling me that it was awkward for her because she didn't know what to expect and that I was ahead of her. I was barely ahead of her in reality but to her it was a world of difference. I had to learn to let her take things at her own pace and just enjoy the ride until she could get comfortable.

 

If your guy is like me and just a bit of experience he may need to be reminded that you need some time to catch up. That may mean going to a club or meeting a couple and just talking the first time. Then maybe the next time you kiss another guy, perhaps after that some fondling. All these things get you ready for the next successive step and help you get "up to speed". He needs to understand that he is the throttle and you will be the brakes. The harder he pushes the throttle the harder you're going to push the brakes until you don't anymore but that's going to take some time and trust in him.

 

Now if he has extensive experience he should know all of this and will be very willing to let you ease into this at your pace. If not, go back to the previous suggestion of reminding him you need time to catch up.

 

Good luck.

[Tclg 15]

Thanks so much for you comments!

 

I'm very similar to your wife agreatguy, for some reason it does make a world of difference. I am processing my thoughts and seeing him more of a guiding light. I was worried that I'd come off boring, stupid insecurities, he's reassured me "you even considering this is far from it"

 

My SO has had 5 years experience with an ex, he was really young at the time though so it was mostly about partying and orgys from the stories I've heard?. It does sound like he needs to work out new boundaries with me though. Which is actually great, we are constantly and comfortably talking about it.

 

Our first meet up is in two weeks, so I'm getting more and more excited.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Instead of looking at this as something only you don't know anything about, try looking at it as you now have a guide to help you find your way along. It will be okay and anytime you are feeling lost, just ask your SO and I'm SURE he will help you better understand what is happening. Bottom line is that nothing will happen that you don't give permission to have happen. Good luck and enjoy the ride.