Ageing out of the lifestyle?

[BobGann 40]

I've posted some responses to other people's questions from time to time, but now have a question/situation of my own I'd like to get the community's reaction to.

 

I'm a mid-50's male who's been in the lifestyle for just under 20 years. I've had a great time in my 40's, meeting with couples, houseparties, and using online sites like SLS.

 

I recently relocated, and have been trying to start from scratch again, for lack of a better term. Here's what I'm noticing:

 

1) For couples open to single men, there seems to be an upper age bound of 50 in their profiles.

2) Fewer and fewer couples in their late 40's, 50's and up seem to be in the lifestyle, possibly for health reasons, one or the other not feeling attractive anymore, etc. Or the wife is interested in younger studs only.

3) I live in a relatively affluent retirement/tourist area, and would think it would attract some open-minded people. But I wonder if couples who have been in the lifestyle for a longer time already have a network of friends they turn to and are not interested in meeting any new people?

 

I'm still have good energy, enjoy the lifestyle, and have all the same attributes I did a few years ago when I was more successful at meeting people just a little while ago. But throw in the usual amount of flakes and "just curious" and it seems to be even harder to meet serious, fun couples. It has always taken persistence and patience as a single man, but it seems like my "target market", for lack of a better term, is getting smaller and smaller.

 

I'd like to keep going as long as I can, but is there a time when it's just not worth it? I'm not looking for sympathy here or "poor poor old man" LOL.....but I would like to hear what others here think.

[njbm 2,874]

It must be more difficult for single males and there are so many single men available at age 25-40 that 50 plus single men are at a disadvantage.

We are an over 60 couple and we find a diminishing population of peers. Health problems, performance problems, maybe people experimented and are done.

We’ve met single men who have paired with single women to play as a couple. That could be an alternative.

[NerdsAreFun 226]

There may be a slow down around that age range...but if places like The Villages in Florida and other retirement communities are any indication the 'lifestyle' becomes downright common 55+ and men who can still perform are in high demand by all the widows.

[BobGann 40]

There may be a slow down around that age range...but if places like The Villages in Florida and other retirement communities are any indication the 'lifestyle' becomes downright common 55+ and men who can still perform are in high demand by all the widows.

 

Yeah, maybe I need to move LOL

[njbm 2,874]

We are a big hit in Florida. We are the young ones.

[BobGann 40]

We are a big hit in Florida. We are the young ones.

 

I've obviously been hanging out with the wrong people!

[PeterJ 950]

My observation is that people do age out of the lifestyle, but most leave for some of the other reasons that have been noted in comments above. njbm and Nerds Are Fun have mentioned Florida as a fertile ground for older swingers. My observation is similar to theirs. I live in the Northeast but several times a year travel to central Florida to attend parties organized by a couple who are longtime friends. They are in their 70s and while some of the regular guests are in their late 20s and 30s, many of the attendees are in their 60s and older. The adjustment for age that I’ve noticed is that the parties start with a social hour at 7:00 and generally wrap up around midnight, a time when parties/clubs that cater to a younger clientele are just getting started.

[Jane1902 476]

I am not into the much younger men. I recently spent a lovely evening with a gentleman in his 60’s. Sometimes it takes a while to meet new people. Do you have certs? Also location, Southern California is a whole other game.

[Sawman 84]

I'm 70 and just started dating a couple my age.

[BobGann 40]

I am not into the much younger men. I recently spent a lovely evening with a gentleman in his 60’s. Sometimes it takes a while to meet new people. Do you have certs? Also location, Southern California is a whole other game.

 

Your comment kind of confirms something I've suspected about Southern California for a while now - it's a very youth-oriented place. I've suspected this by some of the clubs and groups I've seen in my area that seen to tend toward a younger, harder-partying crowd.

[BobGann 40]

I'm 70 and just started dating a couple my age.

 

Thanks for the encouragement!

[BobGann 40]

I don't want to quote all the posts, but it's pretty apparent that FL is the place to be! The funny part is that when I was younger I lived in FL for about 12 years but wasn't really active in the lifestyle then. And now that I'm older I'm in the youth-culture capital of the world, Southern California. Such are the twists of fate......

[Gab32421 25]

Hey Bob,

 

Just a thought, maybe its time to travel and check the lifestyle in another country, even if its just for a holiday. Holiday swinging might be your thing.....just a thought.

[BobGann 40]

Hey Bob,

 

Just a thought, maybe its time to travel and check the lifestyle in another country, even if its just for a holiday. Holiday swinging might be your thing.....just a thought.

 

That's probably not a bad idea - maybe I should start with Australia! Have been to Sydney and Perth a few times and loved it.

[Judy39 145]

Can't see mid-50s as a problem in itself but befriending a regular female playmate so that you can play as a couple when needed will definitely broaden your options.

[GMOFLEISURE 221]

... befriending a regular female playmate so that you can play as a couple when needed will definitely broaden your options.

 

Definitely recommended. A buddy for couples dates, to swap with, act as each others wing man, and someone to swap stories and advice with.