Full swap swingers playing soft swap by choice?

[couplers 4,645]

Do any couples here who hard swap have regular soft-only play with a couple or single? I'm not talking about something where it didn't work out and one time it only went so far, but a single or couple you meet from time-to-time knowing that they are soft players only. Thanks.

[Chris&Suzanne 204]

We at first started out soft, but it was so much fun we graduated in the same night. We also start out with the fact it maybe just soft playing, but we just kept ,going.. So the answer is no for us.

[adamgunn 1,460]

At a club if the other people were soft, we would still play with them (with their rules) if we liked them. For a few, we stayed that way for awhile.

[couplers 4,645]

At a club if the other people were soft, we would still play with them (with their rules) if we liked them. For a few, we stayed that way for awhile.

 

The reason that I asked, Red and I went to see friends at their house after work, a couple that we knew from before they were married and before Red and I were involved with the others in our family, i.e. before we started nonmonogamy. We have never adventured into anything sexual with them and as far as I know they are vanilla. I had brought clothes to change into from my business attire and did so in their bathroom. After a while, and a few drinks on their part, a comment was made about the fact that I wasn't wearing a bra, then a comment from her (she has never shown a Lesbian side) expressing curiosity about how nice "those puppies" must look. I told her to peek if she wants (I always give the uninitiated the control) and surprisingly she pulled up my shirt not only for her to look, but her husband as well. It was fun so I pulled it the rest of the way off and we spent about an hour talking with me topless. Her husband unbuttoned her shirt and she was comfortable sitting there in her bra. We talked some more, they drank some more, and when she got closer I put her hand on my breast. Her bra came off and we had a girl-girl feel up. Toward the end of the evening he felt me up as well, but it was pretty clear that he didn't want Red touching his wife. Fortunately Red was socially aware enough to have picked up on it and played it all right. For a variety of reasons (including their drinking and occasional pot use), neither Red nor I could see being full-on sexually engaged with this couple, however, what we did was fun and I could see doing it again.

 

I called her up the next day and told her that we had a wonderful evening and to make clear that I had no regrets, and to take her temperature. She was fine with me being barebreasted in from of him, he of she touching me and me, her; he maybe a little uncomfortable with Red seeing her tits. So the question: is this a sustainable situation, breast play with them, maybe total nudity, maybe a little more Lesbian involvement? Or are they likely to want to tip one way or the other?

 

When we got home, I made a point of telling David about the evening, he was just glad that we had a good time. Clair and Lora, however, thought that since these are people that I would never go all the way with it is a bad idea to do anything like it again.

[Jane1902 476]

If the four of you are comfortable then why not? Maybe are the others concerned this won’t be enough for you? I’d just go home ready for more, lucky you have the options.

[ViSexual 1,008]

This reminds me of a couple we met through an erotic story website that I was posting on, and so was the wife of that couple. They had never gone further into swinging than the fantasies in their stories. We live in Florida and they in Nevada so I think that distance made them feel safe.

 

During the first few weeks of exchanges online, we let them know that we had full swapped multiple times in the past. And, during those first weeks our email and photo exchanges were vanilla to PG at most. Now this was before Skype but we decided to have a date one evening through emails. We had taken numerous photos that we were sharing and they as well. I had one photo of me getting out of our hot tub with my towel low enough to show about half of my cock. I decided to send it. My wife gasped and said I'd gone to far. The other wife emailed a quick response with only, "OMG". My wife scolded me. Then emails began coming quickly with complete nudes the two of them had taken. That began a two hour exchange that was fun as hell!

 

Yes, we had in the past full swapped with our friends and it was delicious but that night stands out to me as one of my sexiest experiences. This was a couple exploring their boundaries and allowing us to be involved.

 

Oh, and, we had lots more exchanges and more date nights too. They even flew out to visit us. We picked them up at the airport in Orlando and they stayed with us four days. There was no sex during that visit, as previously agreed, but just the atmosphere of sexuality was a real turn-on. The four of us visited Disney, took a trip to Saint Augustine, and even did a state park or two.

 

We stayed in touch for quite a while after that but we did eventually lose contact. The distance was just too great and they probably either lost interest in swinging, however soft, or found folks nearby.

 

So, heck yes, a couple who has full swapped can certainly enjoy a very soft swing couple. I know that I sure did!

[couplers 4,645]

If the four of you are comfortable then why not? Maybe are the others concerned this won’t be enough for you?

 

We are comfortable doing what we're doing and will likely do it again, Red and me or just me. Red and I and the others in our family agree that full swap would not be a good idea with them. They are what just about everyone would consider "normal" people, but we're not. Biggest thing is that none of us drink more than a sip just to be social, and never use any drugs, while they drink and use pot responsibly, but I don't like it. They lose enough inhibitions that there could be later regrets (although there were none this time). And they have what I would call

"normal" fights, but more than we have even for five of us. The fear of Lora and Clair is that swap play is somehow inherently an unstable situation - they will either get jealous, have regrets, feel that one is getting more out of it than the other, OR will want to engage in full-on swap intercourse and be diasappointed because we won't. Clair asks if Red and I know where we would draw the line: full nudity? genital play? oral? intercourse with our own partners in the same room for exhibitionist voyeur thrills? I didn't have an answer.

 

I’d just go home ready for more, lucky you have the options.

You guess it. Despite Lora & Clair's concerns, Lora told me that I was a whore while I licked her then she spanked me, and despite David's nonchalance he fucked me better than usual. Clair and Red seem to want one another pretty bad as well.

[EastInWest 1,524]

Clair asks if Red and I know where we would draw the line: full nudity? genital play? oral? intercourse with our own partners in the same room for exhibitionist voyeur thrills? I didn't have an answer.

 

We have a few couple friends where the wives have gone topless by the pool for years. It's a completely non-controversial, vanilla, no-touching thing. We have short summers and enjoy them.

 

As soon as you start touching, these all become very fair questions that need to be answered. Is it "sustainable" in the sense that you can all respect each others' boundaries if you communicate well? Sure. However, we're all adults. Touching isn't that novel anymore, and turns to reciprocated touching or licking in seconds. It doesn't sound like the other husband is fully game beyond the girl-on-girl aspect and understanding where he's really at is a big deal to avoid disaster.

 

I recently saw a new term for this kind of situation: "dirty vanilla".

[padoc 1,703]

Soft swap is not a problem for us. We really like orgasms and don't think they have to occur by penetration only. Over the years, we've met and developed friendships with several couples who were soft swap only. We played within their boundaries and were happy to help as those boundaries slowly expanded. We evolved into a full swap couple over a 12 month period and I think a lot of people do over time. With a little patience and understanding, it's generally a good investment of time.

[couplers 4,645]

Soft swap is not a problem for us. We really like orgasms and don't think they have to occur by penetration only. ..

Swinging terms don't always have precise definitions, but in your mind can soft swap include orgasming? In my mind it doesn't, and that would be a significant line to cross, one I don't think we (Red and I) want to cross.

[couplers 4,645]

We have a few couple friends where the wives have gone topless by the pool for years. It's a completely non-controversial, vanilla, no-touching thing...

In Europe we've all gone nude at the appropriate places (it's actually how I like to spend my off-time when I'm there on business, at local spas), totally no problem.

 

 

 

. Is it "sustainable" in the sense that you can all respect each others' boundaries if you communicate well? Sure. However, we're all adults. Touching isn't that novel anymore, and turns to reciprocated touching or licking in seconds. It doesn't sound like the other husband is fully game beyond the girl-on-girl aspect and understanding where he's really at is a big deal to avoid disaster...

That's the point, touching leading to licking (then fucking), so I need to be clear, no licking or fucking. They both were feeling my tits, sort of fun they were having together. It was pretty clear he didn't want Red touching her tits, and Red was good with that, just watching. I don't want them to get expectations of anything more. Or at least much more.

[padoc 1,703]

@Coupler: We liken soft play to making out in a car in high school. We knew that penetration wasn't on the menu but kissing, fondling, semi-nude to nude, all were. We both progressed eventually to oral and sharing orgasms.

[venusshaw 123]

Whenever I meet my exes we do soft play as friends. If either is not hooked for the evening then we may repeat the hard sex, but rarely. I like new partners every time. I have repeated with only about 20%, but am friendly with all and somehow it is all in reverse. Hard play when we are strangers and soft play when we are friends. I feel awkward to have sex after they become friends, but soft play is fine.

[lcmim 1,082]

One thing always confuses these conversations for me. That is a lack of definition of what people mean by Soft Swap.

 

We are soft swap , but ours is pretty much full spectrum, save only intercourse and one or two small things we barely do with each other. There have never been any complaints, most often requests for repeats in the near future. Just one of the other couples were "soft swap only" and they gave as good as they got. Smiling faces and limp bodies all around.

 

For other people it is partial nudity and touching only with your partner.

 

Like I said lack of definition.

[EastInWest 1,524]

One thing always confuses these conversations for me. That is a lack of definition of what people mean by Soft Swap.

 

We've always taken "soft swap" to mean everything short of intercourse. It seems like "without orgasm" would be a much finer line. Hands go down pants and up shirts on vanilla dance floors, wives visit strip clubs with husbands, or couples would call a chat line (when chat lines were a thing) to talk dirty for laughs, but that's why I found that phrase "dirty vanilla" amusing. Lots of vanilla couples enjoy that kind of play, but would never consider themselves to be "swapping" or swinging at all and would definitely be having an argument if somebody actually unzipped their pants and had someone else get them off.

 

On the flipside, I realize that depending on culture, some couples see oral sex as a much more meaningful step. In the vanilla dating scene I spent my twenties in, oral sex was part of heavy making out and didn't really imply anything about the relationship at all.

[adamgunn 1,460]

I agree, soft-swap to me means *everything* except PIV. And I always try to give my partner an orgasm with fingers and mouth, don't mind if she gives me one.

[Guest]

Most of our swaps have been full swaps but we do sometimes allow soft playing in informal situations. As an example, we met a couple at a hotel beach in Key West, and then ran into them again at the bar and ended up going out with them. One of our stops was a strip club and as we were standing, the male of the other couple was behind me, started playing with my ass and then moved his hands to my breasts. I looked over and during the course of this, my hubby did the same with his wife. We have had that happen at bars, for example, when we split off and dance with respective members of another couple and so forth. It can be fun, even exciting for a change of pace, especially when out of town.

[introvertswingr 55]

We prefer to start with soft swap (which for us is just touching and oral), but we ALWAYS define it with the other couple to be sure everyone is on the same page. As others have said, there is no "official" definition, so I prefer to operationally define things. With a couple we currently play with, we do full swap, but some nights we revert back to soft swap for various reasons.

 

As for the orgasm-- have you ever had an orgasm from nipple play or a full body orgasm from just touching (not clitoral or vaginal touching)? Those can be awesome. I respect your boundaries to not want to play with someone who is drinking or using marijuana. Out of curiosity, is that a hard rule or just because of the particular circumstances with this couple? I wonder if there is a general consensus on that topic. I know people don't want someone who is sloppy drunk or so intoxicated (via any method) they cannot consent, but I also understand that some people use those "items" as tools, if you will, in order to be able to play (not just for nerves).

[couplers 4,645]

I respect your boundaries to not want to play with someone who is drinking or using marijuana. Out of curiosity, is that a hard rule or just because of the particular circumstances with this couple? I wonder if there is a general consensus on that topic. I know people don't want someone who is sloppy drunk or so intoxicated (via any method) they cannot consent, but I also understand that some people use those "items" as tools, if you will, in order to be able to play (not just for nerves).

This couple drinks what I would consider well within normal for people. They have a drink or two during the week a couple times a week; more on weekends, and they do it together. They don't get falling down drunk or blackout or anything like that, but it does clearly lower their inhibitions, which could cause them to do things they may later regret (I think). Their pot use, I would guess, is once or maybe twice a month. Although we have no moral or ethical problems with people who use alcohol or marijuana reasonablely, everyone in our poly family doesn't drink, other than sipping less than one drink to be social (you can't always get NA beer or grape juice). Our reasons vary, but the primary one is that we all want to be in control of ourselves, others are sleepiness, headaches, loss of a perceptual "edge." We are admittedly the non-normal ones in this. None of us remotely likes the idea of using drugs. Interestingly, the other people who we play with (Frank,Becky, Walter) are minimal drinkers and non drug users. I guess we types attract one another.

 

Red and I found what we did to be fun and would like to explore it with them more. They are physically/sexually nice, but Red and I don't find them attractive enough in all respects to be thinking that we want to have full intercourse swap with them, or even play that leads to orgasming. Our concern is that exploring soft swap with them will either: a) go to far for them (I was worried that Red seeing her exposed tits may have upset him; it didn't) and lead to regrets after the buzz wore off, or b) set them up to think there will be more than Red and I are willing to do, disappointing their their expectations. As I have previously said, I called her up the day after to tell her that we had a great time (reassuring her there were no regrets on our part), and to assess his and her feeling by asking a couple questions ("I hope you didn't mind that I let him touch my tits." "He was OK with Red seeing your breasts?") So for now it seems OK. I plan to communicate and move cautiously.

[couplers 4,645]

I respect your boundaries to not want to play with someone who is drinking or using marijuana. Out of curiosity, is that a hard rule or just because of the particular circumstances with this couple? I wonder if there is a general consensus on that topic. I know people don't want someone who is sloppy drunk or so intoxicated (via any method) they cannot consent, but I also understand that some people use those "items" as tools, if you will, in order to be able to play (not just for nerves).

This couple drinks what I would consider well within normal for people. They have a drink or two during the week a couple times a week; more on weekends, and they do it together. They don't get falling down drunk or blackout or anything like that, but it does clearly lower their inhibitions, which could cause them to do things they may later regret (I think). Their pot use, I would guess, is once or maybe twice a month. Although we have no moral or ethical problems with people who use alcohol or marijuana reasonable, everyone in our poly family doesn't drink, other than sipping less than one drink to be social (you can't always get NA beer or grape juice). Our reasons vary, but the primary one is that we all want to be in control of ourselves, others are sleepiness, headaches, loss of a perceptual "edge." We are admittedly the non-normal ones in this. None of us remotely likes the idea of using drugs.

 

Red and I found what we did to be fun and would like to explore it with them more. They are physically/sexually nice, but Red and I don't find them attractive enough in all respects to be thinking that we want to have full intercorse swap with them, or even play that leads to orgasming. Our concern is that exploring soft swap with them will either: a) go to far for them (I was worried that Red seeing her exposed tits may have upset him; it didn't) and lead to regrets after the buzz wore off, or b) set them up to think there will be more than Red and I are willing to do, disappointing their their expectations. As I have previously said, I called her up the day after to tell her that we had a great time (reassuring her there were no regrets on our part), and to assess his and her feeling by asking a couple questions ("I hope you did mind that I let him touch my tits?" "He was OK with Red seeing your breasts?") So for now it seems OK. Communicate and move cautiously.

[couplers 4,645]

OK, this has been on my mind too much and I decided that I'm going to talk to her/them about getting together again for more soft play. I've been going between two ideas that I have for the next time: either I go over by myself and move it along so that we all three get nude and they have sex while touching me lightly (no oral or penetration), OR Red and I both go to their home and the couples have sex with their own partners next to the other couple. I think the former would be more comfortable for them because he's cautious about Red seeing her totally naked/looking at her pussy, but the second option is more mutual. Any thoughts?

 

I never thought of myself as having an exhibitionist-voyeur streak, but it really turned me on showing them and letting them play with my tits (which they both clearly enjoyed) and I want them to see more, AND I keep wondering about how they fuck; I'd like to see them having sex.

[padoc 1,703]

We don't care for the smell or harshness of marijuana and so steer away from those who do. On the other hand edibles are just fine with us. We've had few experiences with "special" brownies or cookies but found the effect on the mood to be pleasant. The effect on libido, inhibitions and time on target was pretty amazing.

[couplers 4,645]

I've been going between two ideas that I have for the next time: either I go over by myself ... OR Red and I both go to their home...

I decided on me going over alone, he would be more comfortable without Red's presence. The challenge will be having my offer to be nude be enough to get them naked, and allowing them to touch me be exciting enough for them to have sex in my company. I already called her and asked if I could come over for "fun like last time." She said sure, they're looking forward to it (without even consulting him). Friday after work.

[couplers 4,645]

We've had few experiences with "special" brownies or cookies but found the effect on the mood to be pleasant. The effect on libido, inhibitions and time on target was pretty amazing.

I've already decided that when I'm old and in the retirement home, unable to do much of anything and have nothing to lose, I'm going to start using drugs and take wild trips from the comfort of my wheelchair. Before that time comes, I admit that I am afraid. I do somewhat risky things (and before children riskier things) backcountry hiking and skiing, rock climbing, touring third world countries, hang gliding, ballooning, but I had as much control of my senses as possible. The thought of surrendering any control to a drug frightens me, even in safe surroundings. The rest of our family feels the same (although not to the same paranoid degree as me) and doesn't drink or use anything.

[luv2was 117]

I decided on me going over alone.... I already called her and asked if I could come over for "fun like last time." She said sure, they're looking forward to it (without even consulting him). Friday after work.

What do you think would happen if you showed them this message thread?

 

I get the sense that you are all dancing on thin ice... not that there's anything wrong with that. (Especially if the water underneath is shallow. It's all part of the educational process... right?)

 

I keep thinking of all the posts I have seen on this BBS about the dangers of playing with friends (which seem to be in the majority). ... But then I have also seen great success stories about a swinger couple introducing vanilla friends into the LS (one way or another). .... Seems like a coin toss to me. With the deciding factor being: Which way will everyone be leaning after the fact? (You may never know for sure, till you cross the line.)

 

If this couple (him & her) are not fully comfortable with social nudity (Naturism), then it seems unlikely to me that they would slide easily & comfortably into any kind of swing situation. ... However: Maybe it is the naughtiness / taboo factor that is the big thrill for them. Shamelessly breaking norms now in question, in a wicked way.

 

They do seem quite curious, and it does sound like fun exploring that with them... but establishing comfortable boundaries for all sounds a bit vague to me at the moment. ... It seems that a lot is being left up to chance (again, nothing wrong there?). Question is: Do you want to take it? .... But then again, just waking up and going out the front door involves some risk / chance.

 

 

Same ol' rules apply I reckon: Keep the lines of communication open, while maintaining an atmosphere of trust & respect. ... And enjoy the ride.

[agreatguy 269]

I decided on me going over alone, he would be more comfortable without Red's presence. The challenge will be having my offer to be nude be enough to get them naked, and allowing them to touch me be exciting enough for them to have sex in my company. I already called her and asked if I could come over for "fun like last time." She said sure, they're looking forward to it (without even consulting him). Friday after work.

 

So, How'd it go?

[Chris&Suzanne 204]

We visit HEDO II once a year. Friends ask what we did. Depending who they are we will sometimes give them the juicy details. If they seem interested my wife will take the other woman into the bedroom and show off her sexy clothes that we take. Sometimes they will come back to living room and model the clothes for us. Sometimes things happen after that, sometimes not.

[couplers 4,645]

agreatguy said:

So, How'd it go?

 

OK, I'm a week behind on what's happening with them, so - about last Friday. It was fun. It was even fun in the days beforehand at home thinking about it.

 

The short version: I met them at their home after work last Friday. We talked for a bit then I asked to take a shower, came out with the towel around me. I took it down from my top and tied it around my waist, then asked her to take off her top, she did; asked him to do the same and he did. I left the towel on me and asked her to take off her pants and she did. I asked if they wanted me to drop the towel, both said yes, but I said he had to go first.

 

He was reluctant. She said, "Oh, come on" and I opened my towel at the side so he could see a bit of my ass. She went over and started to help him off with his pants. (Damn, was I getting wet.) Once he had his underwear off I dropped the towel and turned around in front of them 360. Then again with my arms up over my head, then with my legs slightly parted.

 

I kept dealing it - want me on all fours? She had to play with his dick. Want me to spread my legs open? He had to start finger fucking her. Want to touch my breasts, my legs, my ass? They had to fuck. They did, so I let them. I let them rub on me (except my cunt) as they fucked missionary. She came, he came and it was over too soon, in about an hour. I dressed and left. By this time I was really horny. Knowing that both David and Red wouldn't be home yet, I called Becky, found that Frank was there so I stopped by for a very satisfying quickie, then went home. More to follow.

[couplers 4,645]

agreatguy said:

So, How'd it go?

More catching up:

 

I called her Friday evening a week ago after my solo soft play with them and all was good with them, so much so that they wanted to have another get-together. I agreed that would be good, but next time I needed to have sex too with Red being there for me. (That was true, along with me wanting to exhibit not only my physical attributes as I had done before, but also my ability to perform. I also wanted to see them up their game from a quick missionary fuck.) She said that it would be OK, but wanted to discuss it with him (I sensed that she was totally ok with having Red there and us fucking alongside them, but he was probably a little reluctant. I feared that this might be getting to be too much, too fast for him.) She said let's not wait for the next weekend, and we decided that Tuesday would work.

 

Summary - We girls got laughing and stripping and dancing pretty quickly as the guys watched. Then she and I moved to undress our respective guys. Then the first sign of trouble, not that he was afraid that Red would move on her (and that she might accept), but they were both erect and Red was considerably bigger than he is. I would say that he is half an inch less than average and Red is an inch or so above average, so put together it seemed significant. But she really shined in making him feel like she really, really wanted him (she did), and playing with him and I let him feel me.

 

Red and I started with our foreplay, and they watched us doing variations of oral, Red fingering me then they started fucking. While Red and I kept up the foreplay they got into missionary, both quickly had their orgasms then they seriously started watching us. Red still han't yet put his dick in my vagina so we were no where near finished. They watch us go through what we usually do, female superior (I like that word better than cowgirl), doggy, and then missionary (where we both orgasmed) as if it were a circus. And the second sign of trouble, Red had me put my legs together, inside his, and put on a show by pulling out and pumping his first squirt up my chest, hitting under my chin. Red completed his ejaculation into my mouth and I then showed off rolling it around with my tongue before swallowing. As previously told in my post on trying to become pregnant with Red's child after the first was David's, Red pumps out a tremendous amount of semen, unfortunately there aren't too many swimmers in there and those that are get diluted. In any event, it was clear that she was impressed and he felt belittled. A short time later, Red had me suck him up again and he went into my bum. The way they watched told me that this was terra nova for them. We sat casually naked in the afterglow for a while talking, them still feeling on me and me on her, then dressed and went home.

 

I spoke with her the next day and she told me they had a great time and he thought it was fun, hoped they were worth watching. He did bring up his dick size to her and that even though we couldn't see it, he didn't cum the way Red does, nor does he a second time. I said everything was great, besides I'm the one with the tiny tits. She said they're ready for next time.

[couplers 4,645]

Another post, so we're up-to-date. Yesterday, Friday, Clair and I went to their place in the evening. (They have no children, so their place is a bit of a retreat.) Clair was the one questioning the wisdom of doing this soft play, but Red and I were positive about it and curiosity got the best of her. Clair is the most reserved among us in the family, but when she's in the mood and the clothes come off... The biggest thing was that it was fun for him - three women, all of whom he could touch and one (his wife) he could fuck. He enjoyed seeing and touching Clair, she has larger, nice breasts and curves without being fat or chubby, and is blonde so she was the focus. We got them to do things other than their usual "straight to missionary and it's over" by rewarding their good behavior - oral, doggy, cowgirl - by allowing them to touch us and having Lesbian sex in front to them. She even sucked him up so they could go at it a second time, although neither of them had a second O. It went on longer too this time, over two hours, and we all, including Clair, had fun. We left saying, "Until next time."

[luv2was 117]

Glad to hear that your adventures with this couple went well.

Sounds like everyone had a good time.

 

This may end up being viewed as a "thread hijacking", but one valid question from it all may be:

 

* Are webcam shows, even private between two couples, considered "soft swap"?

 

I suspect the answers to that will be as varied as the term "soft swap" itself.

?

 

couplers said:

... I never thought of myself as having an exhibitionist-voyeur streak, but it really turned me on showing them and letting them play with my tits (which they both clearly enjoyed) and I want them to see more, AND I keep wondering about how they fuck; I'd like to see them having sex.

I guess nobody knows how they will react to "V&E" till they try it. (Voyeurism & Exhibitionism is for sure a major kink of mine.) Around 2010+ I was dating a woman (we were both about 50+ then) who was the first person that when we first initiated a more intimate relationship (anything beyond "just friends"), I made it clear early on that I was non-monogamous. At that time I was very much into webcams on AFF. I mostly watched, and sometimes showed, and occasionally had really hot cam sessions with women that I met through that cam/chat interface (although this was exceptionally rare). At first my girlfriend was only mildly amused by all that. Eventually she participated in some cam-shows with me, which we did occasionally over a year or more. The progression was cuddling, then fondling, then eventually full-on sex (oral & intercourse). Once we got to having sex on cam (that took maybe up 4 to 6 shows, over about 2 months to get there), she REALLY got into it. I was pleasantly surprised with the transformation. (On one of our later sex shows we had over 1,000 viewers, which was significant at that time there. BTW: We always took care to hide our faces.) So again... You never really know.

 

Some of the more anonymous chat-sessions / cam-shows I had with women that I met (virtually) on that site were similar. They started off chatting with me out of idle curiosity, but then quickly really got into it. I can safely say however, that this is more the exception than the rule. V&E has to be more of a "guy thing" I'm sure, but some women definitely enjoy it just as much.

?

 

I cannot recall the exact episode, but... On one of the "Playboy TV: Swing" shows I saw, there were a number of couples in the "Red Room", all having sex at some point, when one of the "residents" commented something like, "You can really learn a lot by watching a couple have sex, when they have a lot of history together." The small group of people (residents) all watching this (guest) couple fucking, quickly agreed.

 

couplers said:

I've already decided that when I'm old and in the retirement home, unable to do much of anything and have nothing to lose, I'm going to start using drugs and take wild trips from the comfort of my wheelchair. Before that time comes, I admit that I am afraid. I do somewhat risky things.... The thought of surrendering any control to a drug frightens me, even in safe surroundings. The rest of our family feels the same (although not to the same paranoid degree as me)....

Fear is a perfectly valid survival response, and should not be taken lightly.

 

The 1980's (my 20's) are what I affectionately refer to as my "Hippie Daze". While not a constant full-blown orgy, there was a fair amount of MAEP's (mind-altering experience products) going around at times... and for a while I was in a community where some of the (intimate) relationship lines were quite blurred. Good times... no regrets. The quintessential "Free Love & Drugs" hippie experience.

 

While marijuana has always been my escape of choice for that sort of thing, I did do a few "trips". I mostly did LSD (maybe a dozen times?), and a few episodes of "Magic Mushrooms" (Psilocybin)... all back in the '80's. It definitely altered my perception of the world around me (even up till now). Did it do any permanent damage? Do I have scary "flashbacks"? ... I'd say "No" to both. ... But, YMMV (your mileage may vary).

 

In the end it is all about choice... and calculated risk. (Obviously, you already have that one figured out.) Always staying in your comfort zone is the easiest & safest, but sometimes stepping outside it can bring new-found wonders (or unprecedented disasters).

?

In a way, being in the LS (or a Poly relationship) is no different.

 

From: "The Matrix" (1999)

"You take the blue pill — the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill — you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember: all I'm offering is the truth."

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_pill_and_blue_pill

[adamgunn 1,460]

I would suggest that since you're not touching the other couple, you're not 'swapping,' but if you're having fun who cares about definitions?

[EastInWest 1,524]

Glad to hear that your adventures with this couple went well.

Sounds like everyone had a good time.

 

This may end up being viewed as a "thread hijacking", but one valid question from it all may be:

 

* Are webcam shows, even private between two couples, considered "soft swap"?

 

I suspect the answers to that will be as varied as the term "soft swap" itself.

;-)

 

I would say "no".

 

When I was 18-19, my high school sweetheart and I were still hanging out, and we used to call in to those late night chat lines for laughs. (Remember those? You'd pay a few bucks to buy 20 minutes and get connected with random locals.) Most of the time, it ended up in dirty talk and mutual masturbation while one of us got a stranger off.

 

Another girl I was seeing about that time used to like to take webcam pictures of herself with other friends-with-benefits and share them.

 

In neither case did it occur to any of us that we might be in any way "swapping". Maybe it should have been a yellow flag about options we hadn't considered, but it just seemed like playful fun.