Is separate room play really swinging?

[firebird09 37]

For the life of me I cannot understand why separate room play is considered swinging. Many say they can feel more comfortable and more attentive to their play partners if in a separate room. Of course that would be the case. But isn’t this whole lifestyle thing about enjoying sexual fun and fantasies with your partner? Otkersiwse it is just random sex with someone else which really is not that different than a one night hook up.

To me swinging is so much fun when my partner is there. I get off watching him and knowing he is watching me all the while enjoying others.

If my partner told me he wanted separate room play I would feel hurt he doesn’t want me as part of his fantasy.

Thoughts?

[ViSexual 1,008]

We're all wired differently. I totally agree with you about it being more fun in the same room. I loved watching my wife.

 

But she just didn't enjoy watching me with other women and said she couldn't really enjoy herself if she knew I was watching her and the other husband.

 

And, honestly, I was probably less attentive to the other wife if I was constantly wanting to watch my own wife.

[Guest]

Certainly if you think separate room play isn’t swinging then you wouldn’t think “hot wife” play is. We did several MFM before we tried swaps. We did several same room swaps and I felt very comfortable with those, and giving hubby a good show while he was with the other woman and I with the other man was a fun part of it. Then we tried separate room, still at a couples club. I found that I focused more on partner of the moment and let lose more. Now, I enjoy mixing them up, more same room than separate but both are nice.

[a_d_xxx 663]

Personally I think of "Swinging" as a flavour of non-monogamy (i.e: couple centric, generally mono and hetro-normative, low emotional investment, etc), rather than a specific act or play scenario. So in that context, a couple hooking up with another couple, to engage in separate room play is definitely within the scope of Swinging.

 

But, honestly, if the label is really important to you, and same room play doesn't fit within your definition, feel free to call it something else.

 

D

[EastInWest 1,524]

I think the key phrase here is "part of his fantasy". Most of the forms of separate-room play that people talk about as part of "swinging" still involve the partner who is not in the room, just not in a way that appeals to you...and that's OK.

 

Being into swinging doesn't mean you have to be into every type of swinging.

[adamgunn 1,460]

Ah, labels. So many people decide that their definition is right, and others are wrong. I would disagree. 'Swinging,' the 'LifeStyle' and other terms have room for many different configurations. In the end, it doesn't really matter.

 

If you're having fun, you're doing it right. If you don't want to play in some configuration, go have fun your way.

[lcmim 1,082]

But isn’t this whole lifestyle thing about enjoying sexual fun and fantasies with your partner? Thoughts?

 

Yes it is.

The thing is that some of us have found that , sometimes, this end is best served by being out of eye and ear range.

 

We went from "same bed only" to "same room only" pretty quickly this was largely a matter of comfort physically, only queen beds in the rooms available.

Within a month we had met a couple that preferred separate rooms and we said yes. The bedroom doors left open with only about six feet between.

By the five month mark we vacationed with this same couple ans had separate cabins. Totally out of both eye and ear range. Funny thing, while we have played in threes with them , we have never all been in the same room together for play.

 

This , however is just them. For other couples my wife still says "Same Room Only" I think she likes that if something should go sideways I will be right there.

 

Each of these arrangements does have its own unique flavor, but they are all the two of us playing together in our world.

[couplers 4,648]

Each of these arrangements does have its own unique flavor, but they are all the two of us playing together in our world.

 

In my mind swinging is one or both partners being consensually non-monogamous, doesn't have to be in the same place or even at the same time. Even if you prefer one particularly way of swinging, the variety of mixing it up is thrilling.

[agreatguy 269]

In my mind swinging is one or both partners being consensually non-monogamous, doesn't have to be in the same place or even at the same time. Even if you prefer one particularly way of swinging, the variety of mixing it up is thrilling.

 

Totally agree with this^^^^. Swinging is whatever you both agree to make of it.

 

I've said it many times, I love watching my wife, she's my favorite porn star. I have no desire to be in a different room from her.

 

I heard it explained by another far more experienced couple that they didn't like the pressure of feeling like they were on a clock or needed to finish at the same time. They liked that they could each go at their own pace by being in separate rooms. I can understand where they were coming from. It's just not for us, at least not at this point in our journey.

[TwoFunTexans 103]

We prefer separate room, and yes it's still swinging. ?

[padoc 1,703]

We go either way (ROOMwise!!!). We, like most couples we know, started out entirely same room but as our comfort level evolved with our experiences, so did our options. At a house party its not unusual for both of us to initially find a playmate or group in separate rooms but we eventually gravitate back to one another. We also have and occasionally use a hall pass and we consider that any of those options in any combination can be defined as swinging. There is something highly erotic about being in the next room or down the hall having fun and then hearing a familiar and distinctive moan. I know from the sound that someone has just entered Mrs Doc or that she's just had an orgasm. How hot is that??

[CB&DD 218]

Same room, separate room, hall pass, if your SO is having sex with someone else then it is swinging. That's just our outlook on it.

[Alura 2,774]

My late wife and I called it "Spouse Sharing," separate rooms or not.

[kcjones 59]

Didn't the swinging lifestyle start with "Wife swapping" and "Key Parties"? Those both allude to separate room play.

[Numex 2,420]

. But isn’t this whole lifestyle thing about enjoying sexual fun and fantasies with your partner? .

Some of my best fantasies about my wife are the things that she is doing when she is having some one-on-one time with a lover or a couple. Things that she might not feel comfortable doing when I'm there.

 

. Otkersiwse it is just random sex with someone else which really is not that different than a one night hook up.

The difference, at least for us, is that we play with a small circle of other couples, so for us it's not "a one night hook up," these are friends, lovers.

[cplnluv1 872]

Swinging is the mutual acceptance of your partner having sex with someone other than you. You do not have to be present for your partner to swing.

[ViSexual 1,008]

Didn't the swinging lifestyle start with "Wife swapping" and "Key Parties"? Those both allude to separate room play.

 

I'm pretty sure that it was officially recognized when Air Force officers attended to their fellow pilot's wives when those pilots were deployed.

[David Lovell 160]

My wife wanted separate rooms when we started swinging, about one year ago. She was embarassed, because she did not wish fornme to see her trying new things with her lover, which she gradually shared with me. This made our sex life more complete. On a few ocassions have had some same room experiences with rwo separate couples. We also had some fun with friends using a sex swing. Whenever the opportunity presents itself she still opts for separate room, she has a favorite lover and enjoys him bareback. I like both, pehaps starting in one room and finishing with a chosen lover in a separate room is the most erotic.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

In my opinion you are swinging even if it is in separate rooms.

 

I understand your feelings about wanting everyone to be in the same room to see your partner enjoying having sex with someone that is not you.

 

If you are in a separate room you and your partner might feel a sense of uninhibition that you might not feel if you know that your SO is watching.

[mandjneworleans 19]

I have gone through "key parties", "wife swapping", "swinging", and now "the lifestyle". Something will come next. They all have one thing in common, having sex with another person with your partner's permission. We prefer same room (we both love to watch), but separate is OK if that is what the other couple likes. It IS swinging.

[Ems1485 37]

For us its like this:

Swingers: two or more couples who full swap, whether its in same room or separate rooms. Or partner sharing on separate occasions from the other - though I think this tends to happen between swingers who have become good regular friends.

Open relationship: you both have sex with other people separately.

Hotwife/cuckoldry: one partner remains faithful but enjoys their partner having sex with others.

 

Some couples are a mixture of those.

[Numex 2,420]

A thought just shook loose. We mostly do couples swaps, which we like because it has a certain intimacy of an even trade. But my wife and I have remarked that when we are with more than one couple and each person is with someone not from the other couple, it has a different wilder feel to it.