Hi actually have a question regarding swinger friend

[Natasha 15]

Hi there all

I am not a swinger but a friend of mine and my husbands is. We have known the couple for a few years now and get on well but I am uncomfortable around the husband as he makes many comments and suggestions to me. I have explained politely before a few times that the lifestyle is not my thing but he keeps on pushing boundries with me even after I am getting so visibly uncomfortable even his wife tells him to leave off.

How do I deal with this? I thought I had been very clear, must I end the friendship as he does not take 'not interested' for an answer?

Thanks to your insight on this.

[Judy39 145]

That's bad behaviour - whether it comes from a swinger or not is irrelevant, it is inappropriate and inconsiderate to keep making advances to someone who's not interested.

What to do? Step 1 - a polite no, step 2 - a pointed joke, step 3 - tell him to fuck off, but if all else fails - just find new friends.

Most swingers are actually quite used to hearing no and deal with it very well, I'm sorry that's not the case with your friends.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Seems like you are not actually getting along well. Swinger or not swinger, definite dick-like behaviour.

[ViSexual 1,008]

I agree with both above. A jerk is a jerk is a jerk and this guy is a definite jerk. I'm betting that he's turned down a lot, even at swinger's events. His wife needs to set him straight or they'll both lose friends, in and out of the lifestyle.

[ViSexual 1,008]

OK, another thought. The next time it happens you might just say, "As I've said before, I'm not a swinger. But, honestly, even if I were a swinger I wouldn't play with you."

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I have found that looking a man in the eye and saying,"You're comments are not welcomed and I'm asking you to stop them permanently," works really, really well. If that fails, and it seems likely, just tell his wife that it's a situation you cannot tolerate and you'll be happy meeting her for lunch or shopping, but you cannot be around a man who does not respect you. After that, there are better friends to have.

 

Great advice here. I'm sorry you are having to go through this...people like him give all swingers a bad name. I assure you the vast majority of swinger husbands are not like this in the slightest.

[luv2was 117]

... but he keeps on pushing boundries with me even after I am getting so visibly uncomfortable even his wife tells him to leave off....

If someone disrespected you anywhere else, in any way, how would you react?

 

I am in my 6th decade now, and a bit of a slow learner, but I have finally gotten to a place that if anyone disrespects me in any way, I move on. In some situations (like with family or co-workers) it can be a bit more tricky to not seem rude (like just ignoring them), but in any event, I send them packing, even it just in my mind. It is a self preservation thing.

 

"Words may hurt, but silence kills."

Timbuk3 - Shotgun Wedding