Flippity Flop.... WTH Babe?!

[InsatiablePair 17]

Hey all,

 

First time posters. We have so many questions but I will post in the appropriate forums.

 

Our background is we've talked about this since we first met. I was always interested but never had a partner that I felt comfortable enough to talk with about it. My wife definitely gave me the vibe she was approachable on the matter. We role played and discussed the lifestyle for a couple of years. We NEVER EVER discussed me with another woman. She wasn't having that.... unless we're in the moment. I'm fine with that because it's not my fantasy to be with another woman.

 

We had been hot and heavy talking about this for about two weeks. I suggested going to the bar, spontaneously. She was taken aback but quickly got ready and off we went. She discussed the rules, she's the one with all the rules, on the way. I was more, "Meh, whatever happens we'll deal with it then." I honestly didn't expect anything to happen so I didn't care. She goes to the bar and orders for us while I go to the bathroom. We end up outside and she says,"Did you see the guy at bar? I flirted with him, he was cute." Oblivious to him, I had to go check it out. I came back and said,"HIM?!" I shouldn't have done that but it just wasn't anything I had pictured her going for so that was my instant reaction. We end up playing pool and I tell her to go get him and see if he wants to play with us.... play pool... get your minds out of the gutter folks. She brings him back along with a single lady that was sitting close to him. Yeah she's a bad ass. They were both there alone and we had met both of them while at the bar ordering.

 

Now to the good stuff. The woman sat with me the whole time but nothing more. Now my wife and the guy on the other hand. My wife was all over him and reciprocated but he was turning her off because he was so worried about what I thought and what I was going to do to him. She told me about this and I said "Oh he'll be fine babe, if I was going to get upset then he would know it already." She proceeds and so does he with his hesitation. At this point my wife is fed up and with my inexperience I didn't know to go talk to him and calm him down. I had spoke and had conversations with him but not regarding the matter, my mistake. My wife eventually gets fed up and goes for the final step before she's done trying and that's the package check while making out. She wasn't impressed so she was instantly done. Now I know, I should have went and told him it was ok but I just figured he know that because I wasn't doing or saying anything negative to him about it. We are leaving and I did that... too late, she was done trying.

 

Here's the twist. The girl that had been sitting with me all night was standing out there with us. My wife suggested we go home with her and she was down. I instantly am scared to death because this was a no... not a regular no no but a resounding NO NO! We follow her to her place and sit on the patio. My wife is telling her what to do. She made her stick her hands up my shorts and hold my cock. Mind you, I'm still scared to death and can't get past a chub. My wife corrals us up to her bedroom and we all get on the bed. My wife takes off my clothes and they both are on my dick. I'm kissing both of them and I'm in heaven when I look down and they're both taking turns with my package. The woman has a vibrator and we do that for awhile but my wife wants to get fucked so I fuck her missionary and the other woman is laying next to us. I'm having sex with my wife but I'm holding the other woman's head and we are face to face. She starts talking to my wife and I, telling me to make her squirt. I know it's not going to happen because again, can't get past a solid chub. That sends my wife over the top and she cums (not a squirting orgasm). She gets up immediately to clean up. This is just what she does. No cuddling or any of that until she cleans up. Well I stay in the bed with the other woman and she puts her head on my shoulder and snuggles up to me. Me, being way uncomfortable, am none the wiser and I accept. My wife comes out of the bathroom and gives me "the look". I instantly jump up, so fast it almost sends the woman flying off the bed. My reaction to just a split second look saved my ass there.

 

I feel like my wife self sabotaged this because we very rarely talk about another woman. I started this and my fantasy is to see her with another man. We both want to end up fully immersed in the LS but are trying to take it one step at a time. I feel like I'm ready to see her with someone else. The LS turns her on but seeing me with another woman is hard for her to swallow at this point. We are glad to be here and look forward to all the wonderful advice we see given.

 

Sincerely,

[Dutchfire 18]

I’m fairly new here, but I read this and wanted to share my thoughts. It sounds like it should be viewed as a good learning experience. Your wife initiated bringing this woman home, and while you are still at beginning stages of the lifestyle you eventually want to end up fully immersed. She is still figuring out what she is comfortable with and maybe it’s having an intimate moment when she’s not there. Or having what is a more emotionally intimate moment. I’m kind of wondering what the outcome was for you two.

[Lionheart72 2,190]

It sounds to me like you and your wife have a lot more talking to... which is fine, normal and appropriate.

 

If I had to guess, your wife was fine with events until she saw you cuddling with another woman. In my experience, that's a usual NO for new (and many experienced) swinging couples... akin to the "no kissing" rule some couples have. The idea, often, being that FUCKING is fine but LOVING is reserved for your spouse. So, I would agree, your split second reaction saved your ass.

 

Now that you guys have done something, it's time for more talking. Examine those rules of your wife's and start seriously thinking about your own rules. See if there are rules that should change. Look at the rules that did change "in the heat of moment" and talk about why they changed and whether that means you're setting that rule down generally (or was it just a one time thing). Talk to her about her reactions (positive and negative) to the events and be honest and up front about your own. As remind her that, even after this experience, it's HER you want to be with at the end of it.

 

Wisest advice I ever got from a swinger was "If I can watch my wife suck another man's cock, I can talk to her about anything." So, talk to your wife... be open and honest, kind and loving. Communicate, communicate, communicate.