Bad first experience

[newguy55 15]

Hi all. Thanks for being here and sharing all the stuff on swinging and other. I would like to share a story about what happened when we finally went to our first house party.

We had been trying to find a couple that we could at least get beyond chatting with and finally met them. They were seasoned swingers and they new we had (have) never swung before. The male of the couple we met was really gung ho to, in his words "pop my wifes swingers cherry". I was somewhat taken aback by this but my wife took it in stride because she wasn't interested in him anyway, so that was just a lot of hot air to her. The wife of the couple was nice and I would have swung with her but rules are rules. We swing together or not at all.

The couple asked us if we would like to go to a house party and see what it was about and if we found out that someone tickled our fancy we could get our feet wet. Ok, not our feet.LOL! We are fairly laid back about sex and we are anxious to try the lifestyle out after talking about it for years. Anyway, we went to the party and we were told by the couple that these people at the house party were just couples and they were pretty easy going and friendly and the party would involve socializing and visiting before "things got going". We were surprised to find that things indeed were going pretty quickley! We tried to blend in, but finding that we had no experience in jumping into a situation where they may have been couples, but they sure weren't together, really blew us away.

I felt immediately tense but my wife, to my surprise, remained collected.

I thought that she was going to be uptight and she wasn't, so I tried to just lay back and go with the flow. Well a couple of ladies came up to me and started to touch me in encouraging fashion, which I might add honestly, really didn't, because I saw the look on my wife's face and it wasn't one that inspired me! I don't blame her at all for that, we had a rule and to her it was going out the window real fast. She didn't see or feel comfortable with the men that were there, even though she tried to make small talk with them. The piece' de resistaunce was when the male of the couple that brought us to the party approached her naked and proceeded to try to engage her in sex and she had made it clear that she wasn't interested in him prior to this as well. It's not that maybe down the road something could have happened, itwas just that at that time it was very inappropriate.:slam"

His wife came up to me and flashed us because they both had been in the hot tub and she was wrapped in a towel. Hey! It looked ok to me! Well I invited her to sit down and the only place was my lap so she did. I felt her breasts and she was ok with this and I think that this is where the male of the couple got the impression that my wife was good to go for him. NOT!! (Flame thrower here)flamethrow I admit that I added to the confusion when I told my wife to just relax and, well, touch him and kinda get the feel for things. I honestly didn't expect her to feel obligated to do anything nor did I think that he was going to expect more. He got in her face and his hands roamed too close for her comfort. This from a man that had repeatedly stated that "no means no".

Well my wife jumped off that sofa like a snake landed in her lap! To her I believe that is true! She went into the bathroom and closed the door. I didn't know what to think except, uh oh the shit is going to hit the fan now.

After she let me in ( a minute ) we talked about what I have said so far here. I was freaked out, she was freaked out but wanted to stay! And to top it off she wanted to get into the hot tub!

She said this was to relax with me.

 

I told her that this was looking like a free for all and she may be subjecting herself to a lot more of the same kind of approach from other guys. I don't know if that is true we never got that far. By now I was totally freaked out I WANTED TO LEAVE! I felt like sex was the last thing on my mind. She still wanted to stay but I insisted that we are now moving at the pace of the slowest person and that was me. We did leave and had it out on the way home. That is another story, that ended happily BTW

:kiss:

What this rambling is about ( I apologize) is we were misled as to what to expect there. And as newbies it was a bad first experience.

We haven't given up and we still want to get banged::P: We have been invited to another social and we are going. This time we have bit more knowledge of what we may expect and what we can expect of each other. We have defined what "playing" is to our satisfaction and what we feel comfortable with. All of this is subject to change as we have read on this board, but for now we are definitely opening our eyes to a variety of possibilites.

A sad thing about this is, the couple that took us there never E-mailed us to find out what happened. We think they probably got embarrassed by our behavior and/ or think we are not worth it. That is too bad because I genuinely liked the people and could work through this. My wife is less forgiving than I and she wouldn't give them the time of day now.

Thanks for listening, Newguy/Newgal

[hfire269 16]

Well at least it turned out ok in the end. We are newbies as well and Im sorry to hear that the other couple misled you like that. We went to our first house party a couple months ago and it was nothing at all like that. Everyone was very nice and some flirted a little with us but didnt touch or make a move that was uncofortable. and when one asked me to give him head I said no and he kept walking.. LOL Hope your next party goes better. Good luck!

Hfire269 (female half)

[jcbicouple 24]

Originally posted by newguy55

she wasn't interested in him anyway, so that was just a lot of hot air to her.

 

The wife of the couple was nice and I would have swung with her but rules are rules. We swing together or not at all.

 

Well a couple of ladies came up to me and started to touch me in encouraging fashion, which I might add honestly, really didn't, because I saw the look on my wife's face and it wasn't one that inspired me! I don't blame her at all for that, we had a rule and to her it was going out the window real fast.

 

She didn't see or feel comfortable with the men that were there, even though she tried to make small talk with them. The piece' de resistaunce was when the male of the couple that brought us to the party approached her naked and proceeded to try to engage her in sex and she had made it clear that she wasn't interested in him prior to this as well.

 

His wife came up to me and flashed us because they both had been in the hot tub and she was wrapped in a towel. Hey! It looked ok to me! Well I invited her to sit down and the only place was my lap so she did. I felt her breasts and she was ok with this and I think that this is where the male of the couple got the impression that my wife was good to go for him. NOT!! (Flame thrower here)flamethrow I admit that I added to the confusion when I told my wife to just relax and, well, touch him and kinda get the feel for things. I honestly didn't expect her to feel obligated to do anything nor did I think that he was going to expect more. He got in her face and his hands roamed too close for her comfort. This from a man that had repeatedly stated that "no means no".

Well my wife jumped off that sofa like a snake landed in her lap! To her I believe that is true! She went into the bathroom and closed the door. I didn't know what to think except, uh oh the shit is going to hit the fan now.

After she let me in ( a minute ) we talked about what I have said so far here. I was freaked out, she was freaked out but wanted to stay! And to top it off she wanted to get into the hot tub!

She said this was to relax with me.

 

Newguy/Newgal

 

Sometimes the obvious is the hardest to see: What happened to your "rules" once you got towards the end of the story? Say, right after you saw his wife naked, and told your wife to touch a guy that she didn't want anything to do with?

It sounds like you two went against your own rules. At least it sounds like you talked about it, and the two of you will work through it. Good luck!

[Chicup 42]

I still think the best starting is newbies with newbies.

 

Everyone is a bit nervous, plenty of time to back out, and no pressure to go beyond limits (or at least not as much).

 

Joining what seemed to be a group orgy might be a bit of a leap.

[frenzb4sex 15]

 

Joining what seemed to be a group orgy might be a bit of a leap.

 

 

Totally, totally agree. From some of the emotions you guys have put into words, when you got there and things started to move very quickly, it should have been quashed and chalked up to a not-so-great decision to follow the seasoned swingers' advice. It seems to me that these seasoned swingers' were only out to break you in and really don't care at all about you as people, in other words, another notch on the bedpost and with a special "V" by it.

 

We felt like we took baby steps in this lifestyle and have still worked our way towards "evolving". We have been in the lifestyle for over 4 years, and this is kind of how we have done things:

 

First year: Swung with the couple that introduced us in a soft swing and seperate room full swap scenario.

 

Second and third years: Swung with same couple in same room, MFM, FMF, seperate room scenarios.

 

Fourth Year: Branched out, met lots of new couples on 1:1 (or really 2:2 basis), have gone to two meet and greets where the atmosphere was very wild (as some put it, very club-like without actual sex in public).

 

We have yet to attend a house party, and we have yet to go to a club. And you know what--we are fine with that. We know that when the time is right, we will go to one.

 

I am not saying that this is the "ultimate" recipe for success, but baby stepping through has got to be a better way than what you have had to endure. I wish you luck in the future.

 

One thing--did you and your spouse have signs worked out? That could save you some awkwardness in the future.....Just a thought...

 

 

Tim

[BradAndJanet 70]

Hey there Newguy 'n Gal! Thanks for sharing your story. It's always great to hear about first-hand experiences. If you were told it would be a 'no pressure' event and it wasn't, that stinks. It's hard to make good decisions about whether to attend if you get bad information. I'm glad to hear that y'all worked it out. If anything it will probably strengthen your communication.

 

We've a sort of standing invitation to attend a house party and have spoken to the host. He was upfront in saying that 'people come here to have sex', giving us a pretty good idea of what it was about. Sounds alright to me , but it's not J's cup of tea at all and we will be passing on it. We appreciated that he was honest and would expect that from any host or hostess.

 

-B

[newguy55 15]

Thanks for the replies! Truly it was alls well that ends well with us as a couple. My wife and I talk about everything so things eventually get resolved, even if Mt. Vesuvius has to erupt again for awhile!

 

In response to the rules that appeared to go out the window: it was really a matter of semantics and misunderstanding between my wife and myself. When we read or hear the word "play" we think in different terms than the classic swinger word useage. For example, play in the vernacular of swingers can be anything from flirting to intercourse and anything in between.

 

We refined what swinging is to us in two words. Petting and Sex. Anything NOT involving oral genital OR intercourse is petting. That was one of the areas where we both kind of got crossed wires over at the house party between us, not anyone else.

 

Petting can include anything up to and including penis and vaginal fondling. HOWEVER! If there are no bottoms left on for that final frontier, all bets are off! Because, the next step would be sex. We agreed to ATTEMPT to stop at that point. Not because we are weak willed ( ok maybe a little) but because we are both horn dogs and we like sex so much that cold water thrown on us might be required!

Ok we are ready for you folks! Lay it on us. We may be new to this lifestyle but, (we will get there eventually)

[Handyman69 15]

We have yet to go to a house party.....are first was with a seasoned couple...no complaints but the second couple was wonderful..we went to our first social with them..

 

Sorry for the bad experience..but at least you talked it though...communciation is so important..

 

don't worry..there are couples out there who will be at your level and then see where things go..

 

RHonda

[newguy55 15]

P.S. The wife says that if the couple that took us to the party had called or E-mailed us the next day or so, she would have probably felt better about the whole thing.

Newguy/Newgal

P.P.S. Don't read to deeply into the Mt. Vesuvius thing! Everybody has their foibles. Whether, it is a woman that works too many hours or a man that dents the car.

N/N

[SexhoundDog 18]

I agree that you handled it right by talking through it with the most important person, your wife.

 

As far as the other couple goes, based on what you said about the guy being way pushy even after your wife had said no to him more than once, I'm with her on this one. If some guy wants to play with my wife at any time, he's gonna listen to HER rules, and failure to do so could go as far as receiving a knuckle sandwich for lunch.

 

You need to play with couples like that about like you need a hemorroidectomy (spelling?) You two sound sensible and sensitive enough that you'll do just fine, and with a higher class of people. Have fun exploring!!

[TNT 1,155]

We are sorry to hear that your first expereince was a bad one.

 

Hopefully we can shed some light on what is "really" expected at house parties.

 

First off...we would not recommend for any "newbie" couple to attend a house party. If you want to see what a group of swingers are like, check out an off-premise club or social.

 

House parties are totally different than meeting with another couple/single or an off-premise club/social. They are more in line with an on-premise club. Now some are more wild than others and this all depends on the people who are there.

 

At house parties your bounderies will be pushed more than anywhere else. Most people who attend house parties are seasoned swingers and even though newbies are welcome, foreplay (slap & tickle or petting) can lead to expectations from others that a new couple are not ready to fulfill.

 

For example: At an off-premise club/social foreplay (see definition above) is very prominent, but it is never expected that it will lead anywhere unless an invitation has been specifically made.

 

At a house party foreplay is more likely to be considered an invitation for things to go further, even when no specific invitation has been made.

 

People go to house parties because they know there is going to be lots of sex going on...couples do not always stay together and there is a lot of partner swaping going on and it can lead to a full fledged orgy.

 

Even though we have an "only play together rule" , at house parties this does not always apply. There are times when we will each be involved with others and there have been numerous times that one of us has left the room only to come back and find the other engaged in some heavy playing (sex) with someone else.

 

This is not to say that you have to abandon your rules at house parties, as you should always only do what you feel comfortable with. Even though house parties are wilder and more relaxed, we have never been to one where NO did not mean NO. However, you have to say NO and mean it. (Yes there are times when someone will forget common courtsey and when this happens the host/hostess should be told immediately)

 

One good rule of thumb for house parties, other than you should always ask before touching, is that you should never touch someone that you are not interested in and you should never allow someone that your not interested in to touch you. And if your SO does touch or allows a touch, be prepared for the SO of the one that is touched or touching to expect to also be part of the play.

 

For a newbie couple at a house party the best thing is just to sit and watch, particpate to the degree that you want and have discussed before hand, STAY TOGETHER, and if you say NO stick to it.

 

This all comes from our experience having attended numerous house parties.

 

TNT

[newguy55 15]

Thank you all for the informative responses. We will assuredly will seek out a more (tame) environment for our future escapades.

One day you will hear from us and it will be an enthusiastic yippie!

Thanks again! Keep the advice coming, we appreciate it.

BTW we are from Panama City,Fl. We are aware of a club in P'cola but we would like to know if there are more places we could socialize at. If anybody on this board is aware of them let us know.

Newguy/Newgal

[TNT 1,155]

newguy55

 

There is one other place that we know of. If you would like, I can email you their site...you can send a PM to us with your email addy or either change your profile here to accept emails.

 

You two are not far from us at all.

 

Teresa

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Originally posted by newguy55

A sad thing about this is, the couple that took us there never E-mailed us to find out what happened. We think they probably got embarrassed by our behavior and/ or think we are not worth it. That is too bad because I genuinely liked the people and could work through this. My wife is less forgiving than I and she wouldn't give them the time of day now.

Thanks for listening, Newguy/Newgal

 

It is more likely that they were embarrassed by their own behaviour and didn't know what to say.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I wouldn't lump all house parties into one category. A lot depends on who is involved and what the ground rules are. I wouldn't say that just because it's a house party you are expected to play.... but I would say that play is more likely and that MOST people who would attend a house party would more or less expect that others are there for the same reason they are.

 

As Tnt said you have to actually say NO. You can't expect people to take a hint or pick up on body language.

[newguy55 15]

Thanks Julie for the insight. We sure stepped back from the picture a few paces and took a long look!

Technically we have abridged our swinging viewpoint. However, we haven't given up on the pursuit of it entirely. We will just make damn sure that NO means NO and a sock in the mouth will enforce it. (need emoticon with stocking in mouth here)!! No violence, we are pacifists by nature. !!!

We have given some thought to upcoming local events and we hope to meet some people and just say hi or what may transpire. We are nice people at least we think so! LOL! We are just a tad on the nervous side and tend to be more cautious/apprehensive when it comes to getting down and dirty. We tend to be talkative and jocular to help our anxiety. Oh well!

 

Thanks again and Happy Holidays to everyone!!

Newguy/Newgal

[ampussy 15]

Could not help but offer you a bit of advice and say are you sure you didn't cause some of this to happen? recently we had a situation like yours happen to us. We met a cpl t a local dance club. After a fun night we agreed to meet a second time now we detected from the very first meeting this "NEWBIE cpl" was not ready but we like to help "newbies". So whatwe find interesting is I used the very same line on this gal in jest at our first social meeting "I would be glad to pop your swing cherry"

 

See we let them know we are NOT new and told them many of our swing stories form our stay in europe where we got our start in the lifestyle in europe the lifestyle is much more open no big deal they look at you funny if you don't swing lol.

 

After much discussion the male half of this "newbie cpl" says "if you think you blew us away with your stories you didn't you made us that much more interested". I got up from my chair and put my arm around this gal and told her that was how I approach a lady if Iget positive vibe back I know its ok she actually likes me.

and she said gee that felt good you have warm hands that to me was a positive vibe obviously Iread that wrong as you will read in part2

 

 

They were in constant contact with us as we told them we could meet again or asked if they would like to meet again we knew of a PRIVATE house party we could get them a invite to we did tell them parties we had been to in the U.S. in FLA started out socially first and sex didn't come till a bit later but warned them each party stands on its own and that we knew the guy who was the host of the house party but we had never been to one of his parties.

 

After they agreed we contacted the host and got them a invite. We had 3 cpls but the host said he had to limit the number of cpls it was getting big. so we chose to give them the invite the other cpls were not new and would have played with us. This is where part 1 of this message will end as Microsoft ate my original post! So I'm posting this so I don';t have to retype it again! Stay tuned for part 2

[ampussy 15]

The date was set and we met this cpl and drove to the house party together at the first social meeting at the dance club they said they didn't drink much yet for courage ,(we can only guess)she told us she was hitting some hard stuff on the way. Once we arrived at the party my wife and I was a bit surprized to see that the action had already started party was to begin at 8 but at this party 8 meant play time lol so when we walked in we and the "NEWBIE" cpl seen this lady giving a guy head in the hot tub!

 

The newbie guy pulled us aside and said it made them feel very intimidated. My wife and I discussed how we would proceed with the evening as we did want them to enjoy themselves so we decided to let them mingle a bit we could see the newbie wife was very nervous she told me "the other gals looked better than her" I told her she looked just as good not to worry I was doing all I could to help her relax but sometimes I guess I go too far my wife says I get too helpful. So not meaning any harm I told the newbie wife the best way to ease into the situation was to go in the hot tub.

 

She was wearing a shirt with a knot so I playfully attempted to untie it she said "no I'm not ready" so I backed off. I was not about to violate the no means no rule. One thing about no means no you have to say no first (NEWBIES remember that)

people are not mind readers!

 

Seeing as they did not want to do the hot tub my wife and I decided to to the hot tub. after we got out we went to see how theywere doing they were nervously sitting on the couch we only wanted to help them and seeing as we were the only ones they knew we figured time to see if they were the slight bit interested so my wife came out wrapped ina towel and me seeing alot of other people naked decided no towel and we sat next to the newbie cpl on the couch.

 

 

Now we thought we were being very gental trying to introduce them to some touchy feely but I did not do anything accept put my hand on her leg my wife got on his lap (funny same thing newguy55 that happened to you according to your original post).

 

It was very apparent he liked this and he even played with my wifes tits then made some comment to his wife about not being right him playing with her and her not playing with me as they knew our rules were all play or no play as this was discussed at the first social meeting. The newbie hubby said his wife wanted to see him get a blow job so I told my wife "blow him" Iguess this was toomuch for the newbie wife and she jumped off the couch but only after she let us know in her words" I didn't mean nessecarily your wife" it was at this point we began to feel very very used. For this cpl to lead us to believe that we were going to this party to be with them and them be with us well all we can say is we felt very very used at that point. NEWGUY55 in your orig post you said the wife got on your lap well if you knew your wife wanted nothing to do with him why did you grab his wifes tits do you think he was going to sit there while you fondled his wife and he wouldn't even attempt to make a subtle move towards your wife?

 

 

They were nice enough to take thier argument to a back bedroom but there isnothing worse than acpl arguing ata lifestyle party now mind you the host knew we were the ones who invited them so it really made our integrity look bad as normally you would not invite a newbie cpl to a event such as this but we thought this cpls maturity could make uo for thier lack of experince. here is where I will end part 2 and next post will be part3

[ampussy 15]

Eventually we approached to see why they had went to the bedroom was there anything wrong and she proceeded to tell me Iwas the problem and she wanted nothing to do with me! I said at that point not a problem if she didn't want me O.K. allwe ask is you do not make a scene and with that they left without saying goodbye they walked out the door and drove back to PC we guess yes NEWGUY55 our cpl was from the PC in florida hmmmmsame place as your from:nono:

 

Now did we get upset because they left without a goodbye your damn right we got upset not that theydidn't say bye to us hellwe didn't expect them to as they didn't like us oh Iguess they liked my wife hell everyone seems to but see we come as a package and if they didn't like what they seen theyshould have said that from the first intial social meeting. NEWGUY55 we could do a IP search and may find out you are the same cpl but we wouldn't do that see with Sharon and I as we told this cpl once you become a friend with us its lifelong if a cpl chooses to disappear from our life its them not us who willdisappear and unlike the cpl your talking about we did attempt to contact our night from hell cpl as amatter of fact we sent them info on a milder lifestyle social and told them we would be there but assured them we wouldkeep our distance funny thing they never went and we have news for that cpl we go to alot of events so if they are in the fla/Al/Ga area they will see us at a party sometime as we go to lots of parties and we are not going to stop going just so they can go!

 

See in our eyes after a cpl acted that immature it was them that shouldhave contacted us and simply said hey thanks for the invite to the house party but you are not our type or at least thanked the host of the party. By the way this host had another party and we told him to invite this cpl and to mention thatwe were not going to be there so they didn't feel pressured by us. The host decided not too as he seen as we did this cpl was along way from READY for this lifestyle at least at the houseparty level.

 

Does this mean we won't invite newbies again no not really the following week we invited another cpl she was a veteran swinger he was new and they handled it just fine

 

Here is our advice NEWGUY55 do like us be up front with what you want if you meeta cpl and your wife says "no way" to the guy honor her wishes BEFORE you get to a play type environment had this cpl said the truth they would have never been invited to the party and wouldn't have had to endure my "pushy" attitude.

 

Must be alot of cpls who like our attitudes though as we have a hard time finding room on our play schedule for veteran swingers let alone "NEWBIES" by the way you won't find us hiding some cpls post on several sites and use a diff name on all see just like we told this cpl we don't hide the fact we like to play and we are known as "Ampussy" on every site we are on.

 

NEWGUY55 you need to consider the view from the other side as the way your post reads this cpl who tried to help you attempted to introduce you to the lifestyle went out of thier way to get you a invite I'm sure just as we did with the cpl we refered to as the host had it right from the beginning when we said we were bringing newbies he tried to discourage us we should have heeded his warning. By the way the night ended up excellent I was "pushy" with this gal in the hot tub and my wife was pushy with the host and a austrailan guy and the night ended in a cumful blissflamethrow

 

Where were the newbies that drove 2hrs only to stay for 30 min hell for all we know they were out in the car arguing:nono:

 

By the way this is the last of the "view from the other side " post

 

NEWGUY 55 suggest you go back and reevaluate that situation

 

and give this cpl the respect that they deserve for attempting to introduce you to the lifestyle. I would say your description is blown way out of portion and if you are the same cpl hiding under another handle we KNOW its blown way out of proportion:mad:

 

We find it awfully strange that you have described your situation to fit our situation almost to the "T" so NEWGUY55 allwe can say is have a good life and hope you find what you are looking for .

 

Don't be so quick to chastise cpls who are trying to introduce you to the lifestyle all you have to say is "NO" if the person doesn't stop the offensive behavior find the host or organizer of the party and it willend very quickly. See we find your story hard to believe as someone would have stepped in if it was as bad as you made it out to be:nono: Don't worry be happy:8-0::

[ampussy 15]

You said that you met with this cpl socially first right? Did you tell them at this time as lead us all to believe that you wanted nothing to do with them? If thatwas the case don't you think that you should have said hey we enjoyed tonight but your not our type? Ithink Ican read between the lines your wife didn't want him but there was no way you were going to let his hot wife get away right? be honest do you think had you been honest with this cpl up front that they would have got you a invite to that house party? To me if you said hey we don't like you they more than likely would have said nothing ut goodnite and hope you find what you are looking for. I read your post with utter fascination he tried to have sex with your wife and she said no please describe just what he did ? I think you have blown this situation way out of proportion as people can read between the lines very easily. You say you wanted no part of them yet you agreed to attend a private house party with them? You grabbed his wifes tits and you wanted no part of them. If I was your wife Iwould have knocked you on side of your head as you say she told you and you told them BEFORE she wanted nothing to do with him. Do you really think we are going to sit here and believe a veteran swinger cpl sat there and said lets invite them to a PRIVATE house party after they just told us they want nothing to do with us. Come on people let this guy know that its a two way street if he grabs a guys wifes tits he has just opened up for a little touchy feely especially if he came to the party with that cpl !

[OhioCouple 41]

Originally posted by ampussy

After a fun night we agreed to meet a second time now we detected from the very first meeting this "NEWBIE cpl" was not ready but we like to help "newbies".

God grant me the serenity...

 

After reading all of your posts, I have much to say, but cannot say it effectively at this moment.

 

Trust me, I'll be back to comment on all of it.

 

head bang

[Alura 2,775]

I've known cowboys who broke green horses by climbing into the saddle and riding until the horse was exhausted or the cowboy was in the dirt. There was one guy who, when thrown, would kick the horse in the belly several times before getting back on. He called the horses he trained "green broke" because you could never be sure what they might do.

 

I liked to make friends with a colt first, then I'd put the bridle on and train him to neck rein with me on the ground. After that, I'd let him carry a saddle blanket for several days before putting the saddle on. I'd let him carry the saddle around until he was comfortable. Then, every morning for a week or so, I'd feed him an apple and lean on the saddle for awhile while petting him and speaking softly to him. After he was thoroughly comfortable with that, I'd climb aboard while talking softly to him. Colts almost never bucked. I don't think they ever learned how.

 

I'd never take a colt to the next level until I was absolutely sure he was ready.

 

Mr. Alura

[ampussy 15]

O.K enough said. Newguy55,

This is the female half, I know the situation and I think it is CHILDISH of you to change your story to suite yourself then POST all the WRONG info on a site. SHAME ON YOU! WE know who you are. IP addresses DON"t lie. Why change a story? You are DRAGGING your wife. STOP it! That couple you talked about have lots of friends and they don't push. You are a peice of work let me tell you. Anyone else please know there are always TWO sides to the story. Maybe there are reasons that the couple didn't call you. When you run out of a party that is saying a statement.

Everyone laughed when they saw you running out the door.

[OhioCouple 41]

Serenity shot.

 

As the posts by ampussy are so long and involved, I'll only quote bits and pieces. Mr. O and I have talked about this extensively.

 

We met a cpl t a local dance club. After a fun night we agreed to meet a second time now we detected from the very first meeting this "NEWBIE cpl" was not ready but we like to help "newbies". So whatwe find interesting is I used the very same line on this gal in jest at our first social meeting "I would be glad to pop your swing cherry"

Knowing what I know now after more than two years of being in the swinging circles, I would have been scared to death that all swingers were as you both represent yourself in your own postings. Mr. O and I are both in agreement that we would have halted all activity immediately and never persued it again had the first couple that we met with, knowingly pushed us beyond limits that they 'knew' we were not ready for. That isn't helping...to us it appears self-serving.

...The newbie guy pulled us aside and said it made them feel very intimidated....

 

...So not meaning any harm I told the newbie wife the best way to ease into the situation was to go in the hot tub...

 

...She was wearing a shirt with a knot so I playfully attempted to untie it she said "no I'm not ready" so I backed off...

 

...after we got out we went to see how theywere doing they were nervously sitting on the couch we only wanted to help them and seeing as we were the only ones they knew we figured time to see if they were the slight bit interested so my wife came out wrapped ina towel and me seeing alot of other people naked decided no towel and we sat next to the newbie cpl on the couch...

To address these issuses first. Ampussy, you already know they are a new couple...probably nervous, not knowing what to expect, etc. It sounds to us that you were moving at your speed and not their's. Attempting (playfully or not) to undo the ladies 'knot', sitting next to them naked on the sofa... well it seems rather 'hawkish' to us. Had I, Mrs. O, been in that situation, I'd have been terrified.

...By the way the night ended up excellent I was "pushy" with this gal in the hot tub and my wife was pushy with the host and a austrailan guy and the night ended in a cumful...

Key words here are 'PUSHY' which is exactly how we see that you attempted an introduction to the lifestyle to this newbie couple. Your own words, verbatim.

NEWGUY 55 suggest you go back and reevaluate that situation ...

 

...and give this cpl the respect that they deserve for attempting to introduce you to the lifestyle...

This just makes us laugh. We can't say what we would like to on this board. It is better left unsaid, but we are sure it is understood.

This is the female half, I know the situation and I think it is CHILDISH of you to change your story to suite yourself then POST all the WRONG info on a site. SHAME ON YOU! WE know who you are.

Well if this isn't the cat's pajamas. All of your postings on this board have been limited to this thread with a pointing of fingers. And you are rational *seasoned* swingers looking for a pat on the back because you are willing to 'help' ...no sorry... 'PUSH' the 'newbies' or whom ever you desire along? That is a and pretty revolting in our book. Thank you, but no thank you. By the way...Does the word 'discretion' ring any bells?

 

Newguy55 came on this board and posted a generalized question about how they felt on their first experience, they have also been members of this board and have contributed in other areas since the first of December. Never was a finger pointed in this thread by Newguy55. In our eyes you only joined this site (most VERY recently I might add) to retaliate for something that you got turned down for.

 

But as they say in the world of swinging... not everyone is another's cup of tea. Obviously you were not theirs and you certainly wouldn't be ours, newbie's or not.

 

OhioCouple

[Alura 2,775]

Originally posted by Chicup

I still think the best starting is newbies with newbies.

 

Everyone is a bit nervous, plenty of time to back out, and no pressure to go beyond limits (or at least not as much).

 

Joining what seemed to be a group orgy might be a bit of a leap.

 

Dito , Chicup! I'm just a hick Okie, but it seems to me the experience of these two couples is just too wide. The experienced couple should never have taken a pair they "knew were not ready" to a house party. No matter how they explained the situation, and frankly, never having been there, there was no way they could, the Newby's were not going to understand.

 

Once there, Mr. Newby, knowing how his wife felt, should never have started play with Mrs. Experienced. I can understand how Mr. Experience would think that might open the door with Mrs. Newby.

 

A spa is a wonderful way to "break the ice" with an experienced couple but could scare hell out of a couple who'd never played. It should never have been suggested.

 

Hopefully, both couples can be understanding of "where the other was coming from," put this thing behind them and learn from it. I don't think Mr. & Mrs. Newby should go to a house party until they have some experience and feel they are ready for it.

 

Hell, Mrs. Alura and I first played twenty years ago and I would question if we are "ready" or will ever want to be.

 

Mr. Alura

[yawanna 17]

I, too, read ampussy with shock and a bit of reluctant remembrance of couples past.

 

Thank you Mrs. O... I was waiting on ya

 

The original post and the ampussy posts differ in one aspect, imho: the original post was generalized, and the responses, such as this

 

Everyone laughed when they saw you running out the door

 

have served to show us at least, that our intial impression of ampussy was correct.

 

Predators.

 

Their behaviour, by both accounts, was pushy and didn't respect No means No. One No is enough, n'est pas?

 

A 'No" followed by a getting naked, followed by a let's get into the hottub, followed by let's (fill in the blank) is just plain predatory.

 

We have escorted many a newbie couple to clubs AND house parties, and the furthest thing from our minds would be getting into their pants by trying to undress them or inviting them into a hottub or to sit naked in their obviously nervous laps.

 

Here's how it works with the rest of the swingers: the new couple are treated with kid gloves and the greatest care is taken for their sense of well being and comfort.

 

As many say here.. COMMUNICATION. Talk about it. Respect their relationship. Be there for them.

 

ampussy...IMHO.. you let these people down BIG time. No wonder they left. And too bad you ruined the experience for a new couple.

 

JUST my opinion

[OhioCouple 41]

Originally posted by Alura

I don't think Mr. & Mrs. Newby should go to a house party until they have some experience and feel they are ready for it.

Speaking only from the experience that we have had at a house party, I would say that each one must vary. At the house party we attended I never saw a naked person unless behind closed doors. However I did not stray to the open area on the lower level, but all main levels were clothed in some way shape or form. We also never encountered any 'aggressiveness' which is what appeared to have happened at this particular house party that newguy55 attended, verified by ampussy. I would say the best thing to do is to contact the hosts themselves and ask what the general rule of thumb is. At least then one would have a better idea of what to expect.

[ampussy 15]

The only reason we even responded to this post is that this cpl is talking about us! Another cpl approached us and told us you cannot believe what "that cpl" posted on swingers board. Here was the exact owrds from the lady of the cpl that was so offended on the way we stopped at a place so the ladies could go to the bathroom and the Newbie wife said to us "if you two was backing out from going to the party tonight we were going anyway we have been waiting for three yrs. for this!" O.K. wait a min I thought in NEWGUYS first post they said that after our first social meeting that she wanted nothing to do with me ? Then tell us why they kept asking are we still going to the party. Now yes I said we thought they were not ready but old blue balls and the wife he was dragging convinced us that they were in fact very mature and very ready and we did tell them that as long as they went with a open mind that we said they wouldhave a good time of course had we known they wanted no part of us we would have never suggested it in the first place they were the ones that said we want to go this cpl is middle aged I would think that they were mature enough to at least tell us they wanted nothing to do with us as we were not thier type and we are not hiding like this cpl is they met us on swappernet where we use the same handle the cpl that told us about this post told us this NEWGUY uses 55 diff handles on diff sites we know when we have been used and now they want to continue to try to get the sympothy from people so they can lure thier next victims to thier wild wicked web of internet fantacy.

[Alura 2,775]

Well, I think y'all (Mrs. O and Wrnakedru) are more qualified than I to talk house parties or on-premises clubs, since we've never been to one. We'd have no idea what to expect. I imagine we'd be nervous, too.

 

I will say one thing: If it's true that "Everyone laughed when you ran for the door," this particular house party must cater to "hard-core" swingers. Again, not the place to take nervous newbys, since the guests don't seem very compassionate.

 

BTW, I think it would be well to heed TNT's advice. They're always right on targets regarding more adventurous swingers.

 

And Newguy and Newgal, if y'all want to meet some top-notch folks who happen to be playcouples, come to April in Tulsa. You probably won't get laid, but you won't be nervous either and everybody will care about your feelings, understand your limits and want to help y'all reach your goals.

 

Or plan and host a Meet Up! in your area. We'll help. Meet Ups! are fun!

 

Mr. Alura

[OhioCouple 41]

Originally posted by yawanna

ampussy...IMHO.. you let these people down BIG time. No wonder they left. And too bad you ruined the experience for a new couple.

 

JUST my opinion

And this definitely sums up our opinion. Hands down.

[Alura 2,775]

Dito , Mrs. O. Let's hope all four learned something from the experience and can use the information to make better play experiences in the future.

 

Mr. Alura

[OhioCouple 41]

Originally posted by ampussy

The only reason we even responded to this post is that this cpl is talking about us!

And we would have never known, had you not enlightened us... hmmm somehow that discretion thingie keeps popping up in my mind.

[ampussy 15]

You all can cast stones if you want at that awful cpl that invited them to a private house party we have been to many parties and they all have began socially like we said we were justas surprised that the party began sexually so quickly but we forwarned them we had never been to this cpls house parties so we could not say it would be the same. We only hope that some of the cpls who do know us will post something if they are on this board and for those of you who think we were so bad for bringing them to this party let us tell you one thing the only reason we even approached them while at the party was to try to shield them from some of the others that were groping and grabbing we figured if they hung close with us that the others would leave them alone. See we left at the begging to mingle we also told people they were a newbie cpl and when we said that one gal touched our guest and said "oh honey we have to break yoiu in right or something to that effect" it was then that the wife and I decided to hang close to them as we felt we got them into this situation we were not about to abandon them. Look folks there were plenty of opportunities for us to play with others that night do you really think we would have persuded them if they had told us they did not nothing to do wioth us up front?

We are done now and will stay on here till this post dies out but we won't be psoting anymore we just know one thing we were there ya'll were not and its not us who is hiding our identity!

Come on newguy55 lets see you tell these people who you really are what is your swapper handle some of our true friends may see this postyand they will tell you we are not what you described. WE would have done absolutey NOTHING had you told us the TRUTH up front. Then why haven't you told this forum that we did in fact try to contact you except you dumped your swappernet profile. Why didn't we e-mail us simply one reason and that was you left us with the impression that you wanted nothing to do with us so we was attempting to honor your wishes

it was only when we were approached a recent social telling us that you had posted this and blew it way out of proportion that we decided to speak up. Did you post and tellthese people that we did contact you when you appeared back on swappernet and told you about a much milder party and that we would make sure we stayed away as you wished?

[OhioCouple 41]

Originally posted by ampussy

You all can cast stones if you want at that awful cpl that invited them to a private house party we have been to many parties and they all have began socially like we said we were justas surprised that the party began sexually so quickly but we forwarned them we had never been to this cpls house parties so we could not say it would be the same.

Sooooo, ampussy, it was then OKAY for you to follow suit with the crowd and take a couple who were new to the lifestyle beyond their comfort level... Because everyone else was 'doing it' with others?

 

If your intentions were honest, then why did you not say "Hey...this is a lot more than we thought it would be for your first time out. We didn't realize it would be like this. Wanna go somewhere else?" That would have been the THOUGHTFUL/HELPFUL thing to do with a Newbie couple. If indeed you are the type to be HELPFUL to the Newbie couples.

 

Instead, you chose to put them in situations that were beyond their comfort level. That is not helpful at all. Shame on you.

 

In the future, if you have a beef with a particular member of this board, please use the PM and E-mail functions. Most everyone has one, the other or both.

 

To newguy55:

 

Send TNT a PM. They can guide you to some socials in your area that would be more along the lines of your comfort level and I can just about guarantee you, you will not experience this sort of behavoir. We aren't all like this.

[ampussy 15]

WE didn'

t offer to go anywhere else but we did say are you O.K. with this we really didn't expect the sex to start so soon and his response was no we are o.k. with this I did expect this don't let this NEWGUY55 kid you we did ask them if there was a problem and he indicated it was O.K. Notice he is not answerring any of our questions notice he has not been back to refute what we said. You know why? we willtell you why because he knows he blew what happened out of proportion and he is probally afraid the people who were at that party may respond with the truth! I again challenge him to explain whatwas meant that I tried to have sex with his wife putting my arm around her or placing my hand on her knee does not constitute trying to have sex! What he did to grab my wifes tits was trying to have sex yes she did sit on his lap but we werte trying to help them be a bit more at ease and I did not see him complaining.

[Handyman69 15]

Oh my.....is all I could think of as I read this thread. Alura, Cuz (Mrs O), and the rest of the board members who have responded,

I give you a .

 

I have been troubled as I read this...being we have only in the lifestyle a few years. There are many new things that we have yet to experience ( a house party for one) but I can say that the Newbie couple might have been trying to psych themselves into jumping into the lifestyle...but we all know...what is good for one is not necessary good for another.

 

What he did to grab my wifes tits was trying to have sex yes she did sit on his lap but we werte trying to help them be a bit more at ease and I did not see him complaining.

 

let me see....oh ya..it says he wasn't complaining...just what was the female part saying? Ampussy....just because one is willing to jump doesn't mean the other half is.. I am sad that the newbie couple did not talk this thru enough but that does not mean that they are an open invitation. Most people in the lifestyle know this and are respectful. It was too much...too fast....too soon...simple.

 

The board here is open and fair....state your point as you have done but don't expect agreement...you pushed a couple that was not ready to be pushed. They aren't all innocent either, but they are new...so more blame is put on you. Experienced and you should have sensed something...

 

to newguy55...follow Cuz's advice...contact TNT..the right couple can make all the difference in the world. Sure was better the 2nd time around for us....

[OhioCouple 41]

I can't let this issue die, simply because I do not want every new person that comes on this board to think they must be tolerant and grateful of those that PUSH them beyond their obvious readiness. It is a shame that you didn't take your perceptiveness of them being new and use it for purposes other than self-gratification. Or maybe that is just your normal tactics?

Originally posted by ampussy

Notice he is not answerring any of our questions notice he has not been back to refute what we said.

Did you ever stop to think that they have more class than you? They never mentioned names....you the experienced swingers did. Did I mention if discretion rings a bell? They never slung mud at anyone, you did. Or did you not NOTICE that?

[OhioCouple 41]

Originally posted by Handyman69

....just because one is willing to jump doesn't mean the other half is.. I am sad that the newbie couple did not talk this thru enough but that does not mean that they are an open invitation. Most people in the lifestyle know this and are respectful. It was too much...too fast....too soon...simple.

This makes the quote of the year.

[yawanna 17]

In the original post... no mention or judgments were made on the inviting couple... they owned what happened, sorted it out later, and did the best they could..under the circumstances.

 

Trust me.. we've had to run one time from a bad situation...and though I haven't posted on that one...if I felt I needed input I would have posted here....hopefully in as non judgemental and objective way as the post that started this thread.

 

This couple were new to the whole scene of a house party.... their comfort level is pre eminient..priority. What you describe, ampussy, is akin to violating personal boundaries...and THAT is never acceptable. You didnt ask, check or get consent or even offer up what might be possible before asking consent.

 

I have a story to share about us escorting a newbie couple to a house party... I have to write it up first.

 

BBL

 

[ampussy 15]

We met this cpl on social level she asked how do you approach so Ishowed her and put my arm around her and she said she liked that I also expalined that if I got a good response then I knew that the person liked it. Wespent 3 hrs. thatevening with this cpl left with hugs and they said theywanted to get together with us a second time and we allagrredd to go to this house party see they led us to belive they wanted to be with us they liked us and made references to playing finding a more private place. Now go back and read his first post he said that at the first social meeting they determined she wanted no part of me than excuse me but why the hell didn't they tell us that then and not waited till they used us to just get a invite to a private party.

 

Newbie or not that was wrong to lead us on send us numerous messages tell us in the message that our hugs were sincere. What all you people are MISSING is we wouldhave never brought them to this party if they told us they did not want to go with us we would have put them in contact with the host and that would have been that. Why do you think we attempted to stay close to them it was not as NEWGUY55 states I had no intention of having sex with her my wife and I simply wanted to see that they had a good time see they failed to mention there was no sex in the aera we were at that was going on in the bedroom and putting a hand on a knee and saying are you O.K. is no where close to having sex! The only ref to sex at any point was the first night we met when we met them at the dance place and here is what they said theywere glad to finally meeta cpl who could talk about sex because the others they met kinda clammed up when they talked sex with them and thats when Isaid "we will be glad to help you pop your swing cherry" and then said just joking. Have you noticed NEWGUY 55 isn't saying much and we know why its because he posted some very untrue satements.

[LadyCleo 16]

Originally posted by OhioCouple

If your intentions were honest, then why did you not say "Hey...this is a lot more than we thought it would be for your first time out. We didn't realize it would be like this. Wanna go somewhere else?" That would have been the THOUGHTFUL/HELPFUL thing to do with a Newbie couple. If indeed you are the type to be HELPFUL to the Newbie couples.

 

While I do agree with most of the posts here regarding the bad behavior of Ampussy, there is blame to be shared.

 

Once Newbie couple realized they were over their heads, they should have opened their mouths and said something!

They are adults. If they were too uncomfortable to stay, by all means, use the door. It was not Ampussy's responsibility to escort them somewhere else. Yes, it would have benn a WONDERFUL thing had they done so, but definately not a requirement and I wouldn't consider them a heel for not doing so.

 

I also have to agree with Ampussy's statement that the wife of the newbie couple probably was not into him. BUT she needs to open her mouth and say so. I know how difficult it can be to say no or tell someone that you are not attracted to them because you feel a sense of obligation to a degree or do not want to hurt their feelings, but just be open and honest about how you feel. It doesn't do anyone any good to be strung along.

 

But, that's just MY opinion...

[OhioCouple 41]

Originally posted by LadyCleo

While I do agree with most of the posts here regarding the bad behavior of Ampussy, there is blame to be shared.

 

Once Newbie couple realized they were over their heads, they should have opened their mouths and said something!

They are adults. If they were too uncomfortable to stay, by all means, use the door. It was not Ampussy's responsibility to escort them somewhere else. Yes, it would have benn a WONDERFUL thing had they done so, but definately not a requirement and I wouldn't consider them a heel for not doing so.

newguy55 openly admitted that they made mistakes by getting in over their heads and not knowning what to do about it...those mistakes are not uncommon. Goodness knows we made our share of mistakes. They also did leave on their own accord and I do not hold ampussy responsible for not suggesting another venure... I do however consider them heels for coming on this board and making statements such as:

Everyone laughed when they saw you running out the door.

and for pointing fingers.

 

I would garner to say that we have personally met somewhere in the neighborhood of mid to upper hundreds of couples and singles. Some at socials, others at meet ups, some one on one for dinner or cocktails, hell we even traveled to Tulsa to meet with a small handful from that area. Never at anytime, when meeting these couples for the first time, did we ever feel that we were being pushed further than anything we were ready for. Some of these couples we have met more than once, some we have an active social life with and of some of those, sex may or may not become a part of the equation. Just because a someone mentions that they would like to graduate to a sexual encounter...does not necessarily mean with 'you'.

 

Certainly there were communication problems on both sides, however the ampussy's claim to be veteran swingers, there to help the newbies along. They should have known better than to 'push' them along. That is what I find so distasteful.

[artboy 15]

Wow..We live in the vicinity of these folks, and WE TOO are way newbies, having just had our first encounter this month. The cpl we played with was very considerate of us and our pace. We only soft swapped that evening, and I was too scared to "get it up"...but if faced with the situation as these posters have encountered, I would never be able to get it up again. (ha.. Anyway, I really appreciate some of the people we HAVE met, those folks actually seem to care and take the time to get everyone comfortable, Im relativly sure..(i hope anyway) that this is a very isolated incident...we Stacie and I would very much like to somtime attend a House Party...but with a cpl who is very much in tune with us and our pace and our feelings.

 

It's sad this has to brought to a board such as this. This place has helped us immensley, simply from reading..Thanks to all!

 

Lee:cool:

[ampussy 15]

Excuse me for telling you all this it was them that told us at the first social they wanted to get laid and if you read the post from them you can see this is clearly a GUY dragging his wife to something she wants no part of! Why hasn't anyone picked up on the fact this cpl USED us not the other way around! Read his original post they determined the first night thatwe meta a dance club they did not want to play around with us YET they jumped at the opportunmity when we said we couldn't meet the following week as we were going to a private house party! See this cpl was LEADING us on they USED us to gain entrance to that party!

 

This GUY of the CPL is the ones who told us when we voiced concerned after they felt intimidated that they were O.K. and wanted to stay they are as older if not older than us we don't babysit especially after we realized we had been USED. You people are missing the point they are the ones who screwed up theyare the ones who PRETENDED to like us just to gain entrance to this PRIVATE party they wnated to know when we could meet again and they expressed interest to attend this party even after we told them it was wild the other thing this cpl knew fully up front that we are seasoned swingers and our profile on swapper where they met us clearly states if you are looking for a TAME cpl its not us. It was thier responsibility for them to tell us they wanted nothing to do with us we can't read minds!

 

This GUY is dragging his wife don't let him kid you have you noticed he has not responded to even one of these post since we told the TRUE story? Sorry but we are in this lifestyle for fun not to babysit some mid aged WIFE DRAGGER!

[ampussy 15]

All I did was put a hand on her knee! We had no absolutely no intentions of sex we simply was trying to be by thier sides to shield them from the ones who were being a bit more aggressive. remeber they told us they wanted to stay and the wife and I did leave them for a bit to socialize with others and no one that we seen with the exception oo the female host did anything and alol she did was pat her on the butt lightly and smiled and said we have to break you in right or something like that. The newbie did nothing but smiled and then they went over and started munching on food. The time she got upset was when her hubby grabbed my wifes tits!

[artboy 15]

Soft swapped Art BOY .....

 

I have no beef with you, hell ...I dont even know you.....But from what I read..you 4 seem to have very different versions of the same story relating to this issue...either way it makes no difference to us....All I was saying is "We" being newbies would not have like either version of the above story....your side or there side....

 

Granted they should have understood where and how you stand on the "swinging issues", perhaps their eyes were bigger than there stomach..ya know, they bit off more than they could chew. Like I said it make no difference to us.....but this is an open forum type chat board, which thereby gives me as well as any other registered member the right to speak up, or comment. I made no reference to you or them directly, just added my own .02. Sorry if I offended you, or stepped on your toes, but YOU responded to their generalization, and in doing so maybe you discredited yourself. Once again Im sorry if you feel "picked on" but you openly brought the fight out by being recognized as the other party in this matter. I do not wish to start a flame war with anyone here...Surrender

 

Lee ans Stacie:)

[yawanna 17]

ampussy: From your posts I gather you want us to get the 'context' of the night with the new couple at the house party.

 

None of us were there, so we have only what we read to go by in forming an opinion or attempting to offer advice or support. From what I've read it seems that you expected to 'play' with the new couple the night of the house party. It also seems, and I see no harm in this, that the new couple were willing to attend a house party to see what that might entail. The four of you never agreed that you would have sex that night. It was an unaddressed assumption...on your part....and a maybe...on their part.

 

At some point.... the question is asked directly, and the answer, if it is No, is respected. No one need explain themselves or justify their answer. No means No. You were given a No, which you acknowledge, and yet you tried other ways of being sexual with them.

 

Many of us have seen or experienced couples where the husband is gung ho and the wife is more reticent. The more reticent party is the one to be respected, and the couple's relationship is always to be respected. That means, hands off and give them the time and space to sort out their feelings on what they are seeing and finding out. I don't think him playing with your wife's breasts means jump in the sack ASAP.

 

I am honestly shocked at the callousness of your comments. These were people NEW to swinging. NEW to a house party. If you didn't check with them beforehand about getting sexual with them as part of your invitation to the house party, then you made assumptions and tried to read into behaviours and responses the Yes that you wanted.

 

For the new people..here's an example of how that whole situation could have worked. True story:

 

We were invited by one couple we'd been talking to online for quite some time, to attend a house party. We'd not been to one yet. Another new couple expressed interest, the inviting couple talked with the house party hosts, and we were all invited.

 

The host couple have been holding house parties for 7 years, and had safe areas, private rooms, an open room, the kitchen stocked with lots of food and non alcoholic beverages, and had a hot tub on an outdoor deck. The living room was a dance area..the kitchen was the safe area. We had also talked beforehand with other swinger friends who have attended these house parties, and got some insight into what to expect regarding the sexual activities, ie: the open room was to play or watch, private rooms were just that - private - no walking through closed doors, etc.

 

We also talked a fair bit with the other 2 couples beforehand. The inviting couple told us that they were going to be meeting and playing with one or two other couples and may go off to private rooms for a while at first, but said they would be back later to mingle with us. So the new couple and we decided to stick together and just watch what transpired at a house party.

 

We were quite comfortable there, and decided to hang in the hottub at first. Gawd that was a blast! (sorry...I digress....).

 

The other new couple...he was all ready to roll and she was quite reticent. She was visibly nervous, and complained to me that a man had grabbed her ass. We took this couple off to a quiet corner and we encouraged her to tell me what was making her nervous, etc. basically getting her to talk about what was going on for her, and discussing how to deal with these situations, with her and her husband.

 

Our inviting couple did come back as promised, and we checked in with each other about how the other new couple were doing. And we made sure we knew where they were, that they knew where WE were, and that we were there to talk to.

 

At no time did any of us grope, kiss, get naked, sit on someone's lap, play with someone's breasts, nothing amongst the six of us.

We were brand spanking new and just checking it out, the other new couple; the she was having some reservations about the behaviours around her and toward her, and the inviting couple were respectful and helpful.

 

 

Absolutely the worst thing someone could do to a new, nervous couple, no matter what they might have said or implied before they ventured into this new environment, a house party, the worst thing anyone could do is come on to them sexually.

 

The new nervous couple did come into the hottub with us, and we talked. Nothing more. At one point there were 16 people in that hottub and no one forced themselves on anyone else. Even though there was sexual activity, all in all..... it was very pleasant and not a source of concern for the new nervous couple.... boundaries are boundaries and they were beginning to have theirs' respected.

 

We have since attended another house party with the inviting couple, and they are friends of ours...the nervous new couple continue on, but much more slowly, as is their right.

 

No means No. Ask first. Never assume. Respect the couple and their relationship. Be clear, upfront and honest about your expectations. Especially when taking new people into an unknown environment like a house party.

[ampussy 15]

There was never a no there was a I'm not ready to go in the hot tub that was the only thing close toa no all night and for everyones information we were NOT out to have sex with them our intention was to do exactly what we did and that was to meet the other people there we only weanted to comfort this cpl and Iguess by sitting next to them O.K. my wife sat on his lap but I do beleive she said mind if I sit here? It was when I detected his wife was uneasty I put my hand on her knee and said are you O.K. ? Then the "OVERSEXED" "wanting to get laid" his words not ours newbie hubby grabbed my wifes tits! then he said "my wife wants to see me get a blow job" so who was the oversexed cpl it damn sure wasn't us I am stillwaiting for this NEWGUY555 to tell me exactly what it was I did to think Iwas trying to have sex with her? As amatter of fact we did exactly what they asked when he said what he wanted to see I said to wife "blow him" thats what they wanted at least thats what they said. Ask this new guy55 if there was any time in the evening Imade any sexual cxomments towards his wife ? Where is NEWGUY55 why hasn't he disputed any of what we say? I'lltell you where he is he is sitting behind his computer saying "oh shit I got caught again"! This guy is lying through his nose he loves to wear his white hatr and my wife says he is nothing but a "white hat wearing weasel" People who know us know we are one of the sweetest cpls you would meet but we are through trying to convince anyone of anything we just did not want this internet junkie that has 55 diff profiles to get away with the fabricated lies he posted thats the end period!

[ampussy 15]

Your right and no we were not attacking you we just was wondering when someone would get to the real reason this all happened in the first palce if you read his first post he says when they met us socially at the dance place they did not thinkwe were for them then why the hell did theysay we want to get together again? Why did they insist on meeting us to go to this party we told them we had never been there they could have just as easily contacted the host we told them the host new they were going and they could have said to us gee your not our type but we are still going to the party. See with HONESTY is best policy had they been honest from the beginning none of this posting wouldhave ever occurred. Everyone feel free to tell us how wrong it was to invite them or how wrong it was to take advantage of them but I stillask the same question where is NEWGUY55 why hasn't he refuted anything I'll tell you why because he knows that he fabricated what happened and we just want to let him know that if he keeps DRAGGING his wife to places and situations she does not want to be it will only get worse! TruceSurrender

[artboy 15]

:) Surrender Truce accepted......

 

Good luck and hope you never get in a situation as this again.

 

 

Lee and Stacie