Question - what to do when you can't control it

[gaga2018 27]

Hey! I'd like to know what do you do when you are with your wife/gf and other man and you cannot control it. Do you continue or do you stop? Do you watch them? What's your opinion?

[Sawman 84]

In any threesome there will be a moment when one feels left out. This should be understood by the partners at the outset, but does not always happen. Even when a couple has set boundaries, e.g., no playing unless I'm right there, people can cross the line especially if they have less experience. Don't get upset if this happens because it happens.

 

Why is it necessary to control the other two people? Let things flow, let your fellow players enjoy themselves. Your turn will come. Don't spoil the moment. Share your feelings later.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

you cannot control it.

 

Can you better explain what you mean by this? Do you mean cannot control them, cannot control yourself, the whole situation seems to be getting out of hand and dangerous like the other guy is getting too pushy, or ?

[padoc 1,703]

Controlling is not considered an asset by most swingers. For us, this hobby is liberating. We have minimal rules with which we both abide. If we invite another male, he'll know those rules at the outset. If HE ignores them the evening ends.

[CB&DD 218]

Gaga2018, are you referring to controlling your orgasm from happening to quickly or are you meaning controlling the situation? Controlling your orgasm is easy enough, just take a moment and watch, enjoy the show then jump back in. If you mean controlling the situation then idk what to say other than controlling it seems like no fun, just go with the flow and have fun

[gaga2018 27]

CB&DD I was talking about the first topic u said. I want to follow the mood but sometimes I can't... that's my problem

[1hotminute 72]

I’m the same way. The situation gets super exciting sometimes and trying to hold back orgasm is hard. I’ve in the past had remorse as things between my wife and the partner progress after I’ve already had my orgasm. I’m a quick cummer and for sure and usually build back up within a few minutes but what I’ve learned to do is let the partners cum first so that I don’t get out of the mood or I’ll try to sit back and watch after I cum as tobuild back up for a second round. I’ve heard trying to breathe slow and get your heart rate down helps. It’s hard to not be excited in those situations though.

[EastInWest 1,524]

Sit back, relax, watch.

 

For what it's worth, the enzyme prolactin is used as a "timer" for giving your body a rest period after orgasm. It increases when you cum and also increases with other stresses. Until the level of prolactin in your system reduces, you won't get hard again. Vitamin B-6 is supposed to be an effective prolactin suppressant, and may help you get hard again faster after orgasm.

[PeterJ 950]

For what it's worth, the enzyme prolactin is used as a "timer" for giving your body a rest period after orgasm.

 

Thanks for that bit of info, EastInWest. I wasn’t aware of prolactin and its suppressive effect on erection.

 

I’m in my early 70s and take 25mg of Viagra when attending sex parties. That enables me to have two or three good erections over the course of an evening. I’ll use it sometimes when my wife and I are having sex to ensure a good erection.

 

When I was younger — 20s and 30s — and with a woman who I was very turned on to, my post orgasmic refractory period was 0. I could have an orgasm with ejaculation and then continue on immediately without losing my erection. This was a pleasant surprise to partners who didn’t necessarily achieve orgasm easily through intercourse, but preferred that to other methods, as it meant they could relax and not worry that I might cum first and leave them stranded — or having to get off orally, manually or with a vibrator. (Those days are long gone... )

[M1F2KTJ 473]

As long as she is enjoying herself I'll let it flow. If she tells me to stop it I will stop it.

[Numex 2,420]

I don't try to control it. It controls me. I give in and enjoy the ride.

[EastInWest 1,524]

Thanks for that bit of info, EastInWest. I wasn’t aware of prolactin and its suppressive effect on erection.

 

Yep, there is a whole lot of information out there in the fitness community - in part because it's closely linked to the effectiveness of steroids, unfortunately - on prolactin, cortisol, and their impact on sexual performance as well as general well-being (and, in turn, the way brain chemicals can impact libido). The relationships are complicated and often circular, and I don't encourage anybody to try megadosing vitamins based on those articles. (LOL)

 

However, there's definitely something there.

[JessicaJamison 861]

Control is an illusion, you never have control..  just go with it and enjoy.