Poly Relationships Become More Common?

[GMOFLEISURE 221]

I'm curious if folks with more experience or knowledge of Polyamory have a opinion. Too elaborate; does anyone feel poly relationships/family groups will become more common, and openly known in the next 2-3 decades. I've had knowledge of two such relationships in the past couple decades, and read about others. Is it going to remain a thing involving a relatively small stable portion of the North American or European population. Or is it growing as a practice, with increasing numbers in informal & formal poly relationships?

[Numex 2,409]

It's hard to tell if true, committed poly relationships are growing, that's for experts who study those things. It's also hard to tell because like a lot of things, poly can be on a spectrum from a group who lives together as a family to people who have other emotional lovers to just a closed group of swingers.

 

I don't consider what my wife and I are doing as poly, but we are in a closed group of married couples, there are some emotional feelings, and we will play alone when convenient.

 

How this compares with the more casual sex, I don't know.

[Sawman 84]

The main difference is that such relationships are more open.

[lcmim 1,081]

The main difference is that such relationships are more open.

 

Which "such relationships" The poly or the closed swinger circle?

 

We get into difficulty when we try to define too closely. My wife and I are VERY married. We also play with others. By many definitions of marriage we are being unfaithful. By our lights that could not be farther from the truth. When I talk swinger or poly I always start out with "What do you mean by that term?"

 

The range on Poly runs regularly from, if it feels good do it bar pickup to committed long term solid family structures that just to have several adults and maybe some children. In between there are varying degrees of looser sexual and emotional alliances. All of them see themselves as POLY.

 

FWB?, Swinger?, The same sort of variation applies.

 

For me, Poly would be closed group, mutual emotional ties all around, commitment for the long haul. This view is strongly influenced by my vision and experience with marriage. As we are relationship types my wife and I both tend to develop some degree of emotional attachment to our longer term playmates

. The odd thing is that often times I end up concerned for the welfare of the guys and she the women, although we do not play that way.

 

So, are we then Poly? Or are we just normal decent human beings?

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

For the last 40+ years, society has become increasingly more accepting to whatever relationship you want to have. At the same time, people who would keep their relationship quiet because it wasn't 'acceptable' have started coming out more and more (be it same sex, or poly). Look at the TV shows that have been on (Sister Wives, Married and Dating, and several other poly style shows that have come and gone). Most of this 'reality' shows have now gone as the 'uniqueness' or shock value has waned and the general public learned that they are 'just people' like themselves. It has come into the light and nobody has burst into flames. The internet has also made it easier for people to meet who want to try poly relationships. Back in the day the only way to meet other swingers was via tawdry newspapers and answering ads via snail mail not even knowing if the other person(s) were real or not. Now it's point, click, send.

 

Will it become more common: I think yes it will however I don't think it will become something that most people end up participating in. The last great hurdle is going to be with swinging since swinging is something that is done 'only' for sex (not my view but the view of the general public). It's the couples version of being a slut (not picking on one sex here, both men and women can be a slut). I think it will take a lot longer before swinging becomes 'accepted' just because of the general view that once you find your partner, they should be all you want and need.

[GMOFLEISURE 221]

To answer the question about definition; What I'm looking at are relationships that extend beyond sex but include it. & at the core have formal understandings between the participants. That may or may not include written contracts concerning property or other financial agreements but that the adults involved have a clear and formal agreement on these things. The other discussion that triggered my question here implied children and parenting was included, tho its not necessary as I see it to restrict this to ongoing child rearing relationships.

 

As for 'swinging' outside a poly relationship. Extramaritinal sex does not automatically dissolve monogamous marriages or relationships, so it won't exclude a poly relationship in my view here.

[SexySixties 25]

We had our first ever swap about 2 years ago; after meeting a couple that had been swinging over 20 years with over 40 other couples--all long term relationships and all married couples. We wanted an experienced couple to be our first and we wanted to feel everything, meaning no condoms. But we were terribly afraid of STDs. Thus we met 3 times socially before asking them to "take our virginity."

 

Our first time with them turned out to be awesome. We met in their living room and made small talk until the other man asked my wife if "she wanted to see the rest of the house." They never came back. Pretty soon his wife gently took my hand and led me to another bedroom.

 

It was the first time either of us had had sex with anyone else in over 20 years, and it was so amazing. We made another date for the next week.

 

That has evolved into a poly relationship. We see them once each week. When we started they were with just one other couple, but dropped that after the other woman became seriously ill. For most of our two years it has been just the 4 of us; always separate rooms; always 2-3 hours and never condoms.

 

We all say that if we had met 30 years ago, we WOULD have wanted to take pregnancy risk with each other's spouse. That is as intimate as sex can get and we still TRY--but alas, too old. LOL.

 

We were on a cruise about a year ago and were seduced by another couple, completely by surprise. It's a long story, and I would have thought impossible, but it happened. When we got home and told our couple about it, they said they were not surprised.

 

We didn't feel violated at all; nor did we feel "untrue" to our regular couple. We know the four of us will continue until there is only one of us left.