First time swinging/club visit

[daisyrey 24]

My husband and I are talking about visiting a club soon. This will be our first experience into the lifestyle. I’ve researched on this forum, and it has helped answer a lot of questions! I still have a couple of questions that I can’t find much information on:

 

I am very attracted to females. Much more so than men. From reading this forum, I’ve learned that finding the single female is rare. I understand you can “soft swap” with another couple and let the females play, but only have sex with your partner. Is this common in clubs? Or do most men expect play as well?

 

Second question (I’ve found very little on this subject here and online). I am very turned on by the thought of watching my husband have sex with another female. I’ve read up on the cuckquean experience, but I am not interested in the humiliation that is common with that. Is it common, at a club, to meet a couple where the male wants to watch his wife play with someone else’s husband? So that I could watch my husband and he would watch his wife, but there would be no interaction between the two of us?

[twohots4u2 188]

From our experience, you do not have to worry about either of your questions. People in the lifestyle are normally very easy to get along with, non-demanding, and respectful of other's concerns.

 

While finding a single female is rare, most of the women we know in the lifestyle are bi. And, most guys are fine with their female partner playing with the female of the other couple. The guys know that if their partner is happy, they will make sure that their guy is taken care of by another women or themselves.

 

We have found that most guys are turned on by their female partners having sex with another guy. And, it is OK if you do not jump the guy of the couple. However, it makes the situation easier if you are nice to the guy, perhaps give him a hand job, and talk about how hot is is to see your guy with his wife and how much you appreciate it.

 

For example, we do not go along with any humiliation either way, and that has never been a problem.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Try using 'stag and vixen' instead of cuckquean.

[daisyrey 24]

Thanks for answering! This forum has done so much to alleviate my fears and concerns about giving the swinging lifestyle a try! I googled Vixen/Stag and that is exactly what I’ve been looking for - I guess I never searched for the right terminology, and I had been getting very frustrated with most of the cuckold results I have been getting. I’m looking forward to lots of reading up on the Vixen experiences.

Before finding this website, I had always imagined swinging clubs and groups as being pushy. I had assumed I would be expected to do things I wasn’t comfortable with doing in order to be involved in other activities I desired. I presumed I would have to “take one for the team” and play with a woman’s husband if I wanted to play with her. I know now that I need only be open, honest and up front. For some reason (I don’t understand it myself) the idea of a man I don’t know well penetrating me makes me feel slightly panicked. However, I would be fine with soft play with another man, while my husband enjoyed his wife. Who knows, once I got entangled in that situation, I might be willing to do more than I think I would.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

We were in that same boat as you with the cuckquean thing. Just glad we can help someone else get out of that boat.

 

Most of us are nice, ordinary, normal people...that want to have sex with you Pushy people are not going to be successful most of the time (and if you run across any, make sure you put them in their place so they stop it). Set your limits and rules beforehand and then DO NOT EXCEED THEM. If you don't feel comfortable with doing something, don't do it. If you later find out that something you thought would be a hurdle wasn't really one, you can modify the rules and go with them the next time. No rush, no pressure, and there is always a next time. Good luck and let us know how things go.

[luv2was 117]

... For some reason (I don’t understand it myself) the idea of a man I don’t know well penetrating me makes me feel slightly panicked. However, I would be fine with soft play with another man, while my husband enjoyed his wife. Who knows, once I got entangled in that situation, I might be willing to do more than I think I would.

"Patience has its own rewards."

Much like the rest of life... I suspect that once you get to know and trust someone, the fewer the barriers will be in that "relationship" (friendship, meeting, joining, etc.).

 

I am fairly confident that the folks in The Lifestyle that are the most patient with you are going to be the ones most worthy of your attention & company.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

Try using 'stag and vixen' instead of cuckquean.

These are the correct terms. Upon one of our first visits to a club, I was invited by a man who went by the name “Gent” to fuck his woman friend who went by the name “Vixen”.