My wife like to be watched..But

[Safyno 17]

My wife and i are new, We didn't take our first step yet and im wasn't sure if she is into swinging,

She just talk with me about her dream that she had sex with more than one guy and then i started talk about it more and more, and she like that,

But she is not sure she can do it with another guy and if she able to see me with another lady,

So as a first step she is willing to have sex with me in a group as she told me "let's start from there"

She suggest to be watched by others in a sex party or something like that.

We are in Germany and don't know from where we can start

We don't know even if it's ok in a swingers party that couples having sex without any other participants

We need advices and suggestions

Thanks

[harplitt 25]

At every party, club, or resort we have ever been to, the other people there were wonderfully accepting of our limits. No one gets upset if you don't want to do certain things. It's about having fun, connecting, being comfortable. My wife and I are soft swingers, which for us means we do lots of fun stuff with other people, but not intercourse. And we are always together. We have never felt like we weren't welcome or accepted by people who weren't into what we were into. I can almost guarantee that wherever you end up, the people in the lifestyle will treat you and your wife with respect and you will experience zero pressure.

[Tankz5280 16]

My wife and I are the same, we have not done anything yet in view of another couple, We want to start that way as well, would you maybe want to chat and trade pics? My wife and I, are in our mid and upper 30s age wise.

[Safyno 17]

My wife and i are new, We didn't take our first step yet and im wasn't sure if she is into swinging,

She just talk with me about her dream that she had sex with more than one guy and then i started talk about it more and more, and she like that,

But she is not sure she can do it with another guy and if she able to see me with another lady,

So as a first step she is willing to have sex with me in a group as she told me "let's start from there"

She suggest to be watched by others in a sex party or something like that.

We are in Germany and don't know from where we can start

We don't know even if it's ok in a swingers party that couples having sex without any other participants

We need advices and suggestions

Thanks

 

Thanks a lot it that makes me feel comfortable, now i'll just wait anyone to guide me from where I can start in germany as a recommendation

[Safyno 17]

My wife and i are new, We didn't take our first step yet and im wasn't sure if she is into swinging,

She just talk with me about her dream that she had sex with more than one guy and then i started talk about it more and more, and she like that,

But she is not sure she can do it with another guy and if she able to see me with another lady,

So as a first step she is willing to have sex with me in a group as she told me "let's start from there"

She suggest to be watched by others in a sex party or something like that.

We are in Germany and don't know from where we can start

We don't know even if it's ok in a swingers party that couples having sex without any other participants

We need advices and suggestions

Thanks

 

My wife and I are the same, we have not done anything yet in view of another couple, We want to start that way as well, would you maybe want to chat and trade pics? My wife and I, are in our mid and upper 30s age wise.

 

That's sounds good, I think we can do so

[Tabota 40]

I'm in Canada, and we have several swing clubs in nearby Toronto. Do a Google Search for swinger clubs, or swinger parties near you, and read their websites and reviews. That should give you some indication of what kind of club they are. (in Toronto, there is one club that has members who are clearly 'down to fuck', so we avoid that club) The clubs that are focused on the dance floor (or rather, have a great dance floor and music, their focus is to allow guests to dance, mingle and converse in the social area and create a sexy atmosphere) are more likely to have guests there that feel this is more their speed. Does that make sense? We just avoid the clubs and parties that focus more on the sex, on intermingling or have high expectations of co-mingled sex (like an orgy party).

[midlifecrisis 25]

You are one step ahead of us - my wife loves to be watched, but won't go any further, at least for now. I'd be curious how it turns out for you

[Safyno 17]

I'm in Canada, and we have several swing clubs in nearby Toronto. Do a Google Search for swinger clubs, or swinger parties near you, and read their websites and reviews. That should give you some indication of what kind of club they are. (in Toronto, there is one club that has members who are clearly 'down to fuck', so we avoid that club) The clubs that are focused on the dance floor (or rather, have a great dance floor and music, their focus is to allow guests to dance, mingle and converse in the social area and create a sexy atmosphere) are more likely to have guests there that feel this is more their speed. Does that make sense? We just avoid the clubs and parties that focus more on the sex, on intermingling or have high expectations of co-mingled sex (like an orgy party).

 

That what im trying to do but couldn't find any as we are in a small city, but i think we can start with FKK clubs, thanks for your advice

[Safyno 17]

You are one step ahead of us - my wife loves to be watched, but won't go any further, at least for now. I'd be curious how it turns out for you

Nothing to say right now, as we taking very small steps, or we can say we take one step forward and two steps back, but i don't want to push more, it will come by time

[njbm 2,901]

Take baby steps and go as fast as the slower partner wants to go. To understand what goes on, go to a swingers club in Germany. You can just watch or have sex with each other. No one will force you to participate. You will both have a good idea if you want to go further.

 

Note: The first club that we went to hosted a beginner’s night. See if your local clubs have that. Helpful!

[Guest]

Well.......

 

Personally I have been in this same situation a few times and kind of find it frustrating / confusing.

 

Your with a women and YES they can talk about group sex / they get very excited / horny / sexually aroused when you TALK about group sex.

 

BUT THEN say they don't know if they could do it in real life.

 

Please be warned that this is a double barrelled answer / this is a double edged sword / this is a positive answer but also a negative answer.

 

 

Some years ago now I dated one girl specifically who was like this. During sex we would TALK about fucking other people, we would talk about me and other men fucking her, we would talk about other women joining us and the girl I was dating would get very horny and have plenty of orgasms whilst we talked.

 

However after talking she would always say "But I don't know if I could do it"

 

I was young and I ASSUMED that if we tried it she would be fine, that if we tried group sex she would be able to do it, but actually I WAS WRONG!!!!

 

There was a much deeper meaning behind what she was saying.

 

What she was REALLY SAYING was.....

 

"Yeah I get really excited by the idea, I get really sexually aroused when we talk about it. But actually I'm a women and all my life I have been brought up to think such things are bad / such things are wrong. Society has programmed me to believe that a women should grow up / meet a man / fall in love / have a family / not cheat / not sleep around. Sure the IDEA excites me but actually DOING IT would make me feel dirty. It would make me feel bad / wrong / like a whore / like a prostitute / like I was somehow going against what my family and society have taught me. If I actually DID THIS then I'd be a bad women. I have worries about sex, I feel that to have sex with someone you should be in love with them, you should be in a relationship with them, just having sex for FUN seems bad, a noble honest women wouldn't be doing that"

 

If you read between the lines then when a women says "I don't know if I could do this" then there is an entire other story behind that statement.

 

In most cases they are not just saying the things I have written above but they are also saying.....

 

"I'd get jealous, I'd be worried about losing you, I'd be worried that we would catch and STD, I'd be worried you would run away and meet someone better, I like the idea of sex with other people but no I don't really want to let another man just use me as a sex toy. I'm worried that we would DO THIS and then you would feel badly about me, you would feel different about me, you would see me as an easy whore. I do not want this subject to take over our lives. I want to progress OUR relationship, I want to get married, I want to buy a house, I want to work towards having a family of our own, how if fucking other men or women going to help those things happen? Sure I like the idea of fucking people for fun, but that is not what adult women are really suppose to do"

 

 

I have dated enough women to know that, when a women says "I don't know if I could do this" she is really saying....

 

"I can't do this because I have worries, fears, hang ups, concerns that are not just going to vanish when another man rams his penis up me"

 

Many women in the Western world are brought up been told that sex is bad / you should only have sex with someone you love / your goal as a women is to meet a nice man / to fall in love / to get married / to stay loyal / to buy a house / to produce children. This girls mother and father did not tell her to fuck multiple men / to allow herself to be bang banged by 5 different dicks per weekend / this women's mother didn't tell her to bring other girls home and sit them on her husbands face.

 

Society kind of tells women that sleeping around is bad, women who sleep around are known as whores / dirty women / prostitutes / sex crazed idiots.

 

Where MEN on the other hand are brought up totally different, we have fathers, brothers, male friends all telling us that fucking people is good, that you want to sleep around, want to fuck different people, that as a man you are allowed to fuck people for fun.

 

I think with a lot of women they need to LEARN that they are allowed to have sex for fun.

 

They need to be desensitised.

 

They need to be reverse engineered.

 

They need to learn what they have been told, the fears they have are not real.

 

 

Please imagine meeting a girl.

 

This girl has been brought up to think you should ONLY have sex with a person you love.

 

Then imagine that you spend 2 years watching threesome porn films with that girl, then ask her what she thinks about sex?

 

 

I guess this is so difficult because in life we MOVE FORWARD!!!!

 

Think of a horse running, it runs forward, it runs into the distance, the only thing it knows is running forward.

 

However to open up some women to group sex is like a horse learning to run backwards.

 

Forget what you know... Forget what you have always done.... Forget what you have been told... Forget what society or your friends and family expect of you... Come and do it this way instead, run backwards.

 

I think for a lot of women the reality of group sex feels like moving backwards when they really they are use to moving forward. They want to move forwards towards a wedding / house / marriage / children, where group sex is basically asking them to do things a totally different way, to rewind time, to forget everything they have learnt about sex and love and look at it all in a different way.

 

I hope that makes sense......

 

 

Trust me in 90% of cases if a women says "I don't know if I could do this" then simply dragging them to a sex club or jumping into a threesome with another man isn't going to change that feeling.

 

In reality the women CAN fuck other men. She fucked other men before you came along. If you break up she will fuck other men again. YES she already knows that she CAN fuck someone else. But she doesn't know that it would be okay to do it WITH YOU.

 

Its not the SEX that is the problem, its everything else, its the way society has taught her to feel / its her insecurities / its the fact sex for fun alone is wrong in her heart.

 

I'll say again SEX is not the problem, its the feelings / worries / thoughts / that go along with that sex which are the problem.

 

 

Sure a women can have sex with you and another man, no problem, that bit is easy But when she feels like a cheating dirty whore after that part is not easy, when she feels worried / used / dirty / bad after fucking this other man then that is the problem.

 

She fucks another man and spends the next 2 weeks feeling like she is going to lose you. That is the problem.

 

The SEX is not the problem, how she feels about sex is the problem.

 

 

I suppose one of the best examples in German history is the second world war.

 

For about a decade the people of Germany was told to think a certain way / obey certain laws / obey certain ideals.

 

What happened after the war? The allied powers began a program which they called "De-Nazification"

 

They wanted the German people to UN-LEARN / FORGET what they had been told for a decade, to learn a different way, to think differently.

 

How did they accomplish this task? They did it with time / films / documentation.

 

If a person has been taught all of their lives to hate the colour blue, how to do you suddenly make them like the colour blue? How do you change what they have already been taught?

 

 

In my experience when a women says "I don't know if I could do it" then there is a much bigger message behind what she is saying, she needs to learn that she can do it before trying it.

[Guest]

We had 3 or 4 MFM before we ventured to a couples club to try swaps and whatever they had to offer. It was intended but our first time there, after dancing and talking with folks downstairs, we went up to the playrooms, watched a bit and then had sex, just the two of us, that first visit. It was actually a good wy to get ourselves started in that kind of enviroment. Next visit was a swap. And yes, I have come to realize that I enjoy being watched whether by hubby when I’m with another guy or by others when I am with him and or others.

[panjo 15]

hello can we swap contact information

we are new

[Bluespruce1 707]

We actually host voyeur parties where two or three couples or groups take center stage and the rest of us watch them. It’s an incredible rush to be the center of attention. The other couples and singles masturbate or play while they watch. Very hot to see them aroused while watching you.

[Out-N-About 52]

Hey midlifecrisis, ur msg box is full and we cant msg you. Clean it out! lol