Has Politics ever ruined a party?

[findinganswers 369]

Our circle includes close friends, their other friends and in some cases friends of those friends. We have met some really good people and some we could never see us becoming friends with. We were just at a small party where a couple we never met were invited. At first they seemed like a nice couple, our age group, well appearing and seemed like a good addition. Then politics reared it’s head. He was extremely opinionated to the point I was no longer comfortable having my wife play with him.

Has anyone else found themselves in a similar situation?

[adamgunn 1,460]

Yes, I have. My wife was of one political persuasion, I'm the total opposite. We were at a house party in the mingling stage, this guy and his wife got into a conversation with us and he headed for a talk about politics. Since he and I were of the same persuasion, I quietly agreed with him. But he got more and more wound up, insulting the other side, not even realizing my wife opposed his every statement. Needless to say, that put an end to any movement towards a bedroom.

 

And I remember he and his wife skulking to the door later, he was pissed they'd struck out.

 

It's fine to have your opinions, it's always wise to be polite about them.

[agreatguy 269]

I'm the kind of guy that enjoys a good political discussion or debate but it definitely needs to be in the right setting. Even my wife and I have some differing opinions. I can't imagine adding that to trying to make a four way connection. Religion is just as dangerous. Current events are mostly political or religious so they are out. History can take a quick left hand turn if everyone isn't careful. Arts and travel and leisure are pretty safe topics. Sex is the best topic.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

We specifically avoid talking about politics, especially with how polarized it has become. If someone brings it up, we just guide the conversation back to something less controversial...like breasts!

[PSULioness 857]

Being raised in NY I can care less about what religion a person is. Most of my college friends are not my religion and I think they respect my religion as I respect theirs. I dismiss any derogatory comments as ignorance. I don’t harp on ignorance, I blame it on where they were raised at the lack of people different than them. I don’t take that thought to prejudice based on race. Gratefully I don’t hear many racist comments. I have heard remarks by some of the guys when their partners are attracted to someone of color. Again I blame ignorance and upbringing. I find most of the political comments are associated with race and ethnicity. I usually ignore overheard comments. On the other hand I think I am becoming thin skinned and would shy away from some who become overly political contrary to my beliefs.

[SJBluebirds 195]

Not a party, per se; but politics put the kibosh on meeting another couple, once. It was weird.

 

We saw a profile on SLS for a couple that we decided to contact, and they shot us down with something along the lines of "We don't think our politics align with yours," and declined to make any plans to meet, even for just a meet-n-greet.

 

Weird.

[JnJinVA 17]

We met a couple at a HP, the wife within 5 minutes brings up politics. I kindly said I don't care to share my political views, this is not the forum. She got huffy. I told my husband this isn't our type of crowd and we never heard from them again! Thank goodness!

[ViSexual 1,008]

If I recall, politics isn't even supposed to be part of any thread here. Now, I know it doesn't apply to this thread because this is a very good example of why politics isn't supposed to be here. And, how interesting, when we start discussing politics, and it's negative effects on sex, we also bring religion in. But then, hey, sometimes sex is so good that it's a religious experience, huh?

[NWAtlSwing 522]

There is so much more to talk about

[cplnuswing 4,713]

If I recall, politics isn't even supposed to be part of any thread here. Now, I know it doesn't apply to this thread because this is a very good example of why politics isn't supposed to be here. And, how interesting, when we start discussing politics, and it's negative effects on sex, we also bring religion in. But then, hey, sometimes sex is so good that it's a religious experience, huh?

 

I was taught (and still am a firm believer in) that politics and religion are two topics not suited for polite conversation. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, in fact the two people that taught me that rule had some pretty firm opinions of their own on both But, as I recall the admonishment going something like "you worry about minding your business and let them worry about theirs", they didn't feel the need to share or risk offending anybody with what they considered their business.

 

Yes, we do have a No Politics rule here, one of the few rules we have, and it's strictly enforced. What it means though is no taking sides. We don't have the equivalent No Religion rule, simply because it's never been a problem. Religion does play a role in swinging, in several different ways, but until we start getting people saying "Fill in the Blank" religion is great and everything else is the worst thing possible, then discuss away on that topic. Politics, we have had that, and often, until the rule got implemented years ago and then what a wonderful corner of the online world we became

 

Back to the question at hand, we haven't run into that, but it would be instant turn-off, and a huge one at that. Not because I really give a damn what their opinions are one way or another, but because 1) I don't like being preached to, and 2) if someone is so self-centered that they feel the need to bring their soapbox with them to a swingers party, then that isn't showing respect to other people, and that one instantly gets you moved to the top of my Don't Like list. Finally, if you demonstrate either 1) or 2), then I'm 99.9999% sure you are going to suck as a playmate too. So yes, let's talk about sex, and we'll all be happier

[findinganswers 369]

I’m sorry if I posted something not allowed. I wasn’t preaching politics or views, I was only relating a situation where someone views was being made known at a party of mixed opinions. I for one don’t want to argue or get enraged at a place where my wife and I are looking for fun.

[ViSexual 1,008]

As Cplnusing said, taking sides in politics is prohibited. I think what you, 'findinganswers' have brought up is quite relevant and a great discussion.

[Alura 2,774]

I remember when discussing politics was allowed on the Swingers Board. It was a disaster.

 

There was an incident in which a member actually threatened to find another member (they lived in the same state) and do him physical harm.

 

I was an offender, but when the site owner made the rule "No Politics!" I realized the wisdom involved and joined the movement. Most members concentrated on making this site one of the friendliest on the internet. Some disappeared.

 

The rule "No Politics" is probably responsible for this website still existing.

[padoc 1,703]

In today's charged political landscape, I really can't complain about the "no politics" rule on this site. We have seen profiles on other sites where the couple says "if you voted for__________, we won't be a match". Our play criterion includes h/w/p, generally straight, intelligent, educated and witty, we have no red/blue check off. Some of the most politically conservative folks we know are damned liberal sexually and conversely, we've known a few very liberal folks who had some pretty severe sexual hangups as in "OMG! you actually have SEX with other couples"? While we both have some firm political convictions we're happy to keep them to ourselves on this site cause after all, you have to wear clothes to go to the polls.

[Lvfun 19]

Politics especially these days is everywhere..on TV, sports , school, nail salons, barber shops, chuck e cheese lol...please keep it out of our sex lives...

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

As many of the responses suggest, the issue is not politics (or religion, or sports team allegiance, or...). The issue is (in)tolerance. The toxic blend of the 24 hour news cycle and infinite numbers of electronic soapboxes has numbed our abilities to listen, compromised our abilities to think critically, dulled our willingness to edit. Rational discourse has given way to polarizing rhetoric: "you are 'for' something I am 'against'". Our vanilla and LS lives are thus diminished.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

I think it's funny that people that have extremely opposite political opinions can have sex with each other without knowing what the political position of the other person is.

 

If only you had known

 

"Excuse me sir. I'm interested in having sex with you but first I have to measure your cock to see if it is within my parameters"

[skyguy6977 88]

In a word, yes. we try to keep our get togethers A political, but that does not always work.

[Fitlakecouple 451]

Completely fine with keeping the site a "politics free zone". But, also fine with people choosing who they spend quality time with based upon their view of the world. You can use any criteria you wish to choose your play partners and you need not explain it, justify it, or defend it to anyone.

[lcmim 1,082]

As many of the responses suggest, the issue is not politics (or religion, or sports team allegiance, or...). The issue is (in)tolerance. The toxic blend of the 24 hour news cycle and infinite numbers of electronic soapboxes has numbed our abilities to listen, compromised our abilities to think critically, dulled our willingness to edit. Rational discourse has given way to polarizing rhetoric: "you are 'for' something I am 'against'". Our vanilla and LS lives are thus diminished.

 

In answer to the original question, there is no endeavor that has never been soured by politics.

 

The quote above has it exactly correct. (This does not surprise me in the least by the way.)

Lack of tolerance and an overabundance of confidence in ones own superior beliefs are evils.

 

These evils I try to avoid. I have never understood the fascination of limiting my friends to those who agree with me. There is no growth or entertainment on that path. While I skew conservative my best friends are about as left wing as it is possible to be.

[the Nomads 78]

I will admit that I've become a bit of a political junkie since moving to the DC area. That being said if you are at a party where you have a chance to swing with another couple and you are talking politics isn't that like talking to a stripper about the benefits of coveralls in the workplace while getting a lap dance? I mean sure you can do it but its gonna make things a little awkward. I enjoy a good civil debate where both parties understand that you probably won't change minds and thats okay but frankly as someone above said. There is so much more to discuss that you can't necessarily discuss with most other friends. Besides being that I'm not an HWP Beautiful Person I can't take the chances of alienating candidates.

 

Mr. Nomad

[Fitlakecouple 451]

So if I understand this correctly it’s okay and widely accepted to determine whether or not to sleep with someone based upon: beauty, height, weight, age, fitness level, race, ethnicity, cup size, cock size, smoking, drinking, drug usage, bisexuality, condom usage, facial hair, baldness, straight teeth, and whether or not they perform oral, anal, or even kiss… But their political persuasion should be strictly off limits – because why? that would be “judgmental”? I can judge you all day long on your superficial characteristics but don’t even think about your core beliefs. That’s too personal? Unfair? Inaccurate? I find that hilarious. And, sure they aren't judgments they are 'preferences' about who you do or do not want to fuck... And, if your only goal is to get busy then don't split the pool of candidates in half. But, if you voted for candidate xyz - there is a fair chance you and I won't see eye to eye on much if anything. So it's my preference to not hang out with you...

[lcmim 1,082]

So if I understand this correctly it’s okay and widely accepted to determine whether or not to sleep with someone based upon: beauty, height, weight, age, fitness level, race, ethnicity, cup size, cock size, smoking, drinking, drug usage, bisexuality, condom usage, facial hair, baldness, straight teeth, and whether or not they perform oral, anal, or even kiss… But their political persuasion should be strictly off limits – because why? that would be “judgmental”? I can judge you all day long on your superficial characteristics but don’t even think about your core beliefs. That’s too personal? Unfair? Inaccurate? I find that hilarious. And, sure they aren't judgments they are 'preferences' about who you do or do not want to fuck... And, if your only goal is to get busy then don't split the pool of candidates in half. But, if you voted for candidate xyz - there is a fair chance you and I won't see eye to eye on much if anything. So it's my preference to not hang out with you...

 

There is a certain amount of humor in that.

[PSULioness 857]

As others have stated, there are often times that we make our sexual preferences tie into the types of people most similar to us. Keeping the topic away from politics or preferences it just seems more people have become more vocal on their political views in the last few years. Some people bring up politics just to start a debate.

The political views of some people are sometimes tied into where a person was brought up. Maybe due to the fact I was raised in a mixing pot I am more tolerant of different views. What I am not tolerant of is pushing your views in a social setting. When meeting my friends I am more interested in their families,vacations, TV shows, movies and music. Politics just brings up debate and trying to prove you are smarter than the people you don’t agree with. Aside from politics I don’t enjoy men who think they are superior than everyone else. I also don’t think anyone refused to play because they didn’t like Star Wars.

[Numex 2,420]

Sex ruined the Whig Party.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

I still miss the Whigs... {sign}

[lcmim 1,082]

Our circle includes close friends, their other friends and in some cases friends of those friends. We have met some really good people and some we could never see us becoming friends with. We were just at a small party where a couple we never met were invited. At first they seemed like a nice couple, our age group, well appearing and seemed like a good addition. Then politics reared it’s head. He was extremely opinionated to the point I was no longer comfortable having my wife play with him.

Has anyone else found themselves in a similar situation?

 

Out of curiosity was it his attitude or his politics that turned you off?

[findinganswers 369]

Out of curiosity was it his attitude or his politics that turned you off?

 

Most likely both, if I am being truthful. The repeated remarks stood out and it bothered me to hear it over and over again. Most likely if his remarks didn’t bother me I wouldn’t have even noticed them. He was also combative, loud and obnoxious, all things that are not conducive to having fun and having sex.