Oral sex question

[Lvfun 19]

Hello all, first post here. My wife and I recently had our first experience in the lifestyle, it went great. For now it's all about her while I watched and played with the other woman...however I am not big on giving oral sex and my wife prefers that when I do it's only for her. I'm ok with that but is this going to fly in this lifestyle? Are there other men on here who skip that part? Any advice will help as we move forward.

[Sawman 84]

Giving oral sex is pretty much on the menu and players expect it. Anyone can say no and partners should respect that. Dating is a process of finding common ground and synergy. The first encounter or two can be awkward and might lead to more. Also spouses can have boundaries. No going down on him or no going down on her and the play partners should respect that. You don't care to go down on her? That's what the other guy is for.

[Jane1902 476]

It’s about being honest that’s important, and how it is presented. I’ve met men who say they do oral but don’t. There is another thread about being asked to use dental dam for oral which would be a bigger turn off than saying it’s just not your thing. Why does your wife want you to only do it for her? My bitchy side would feel I don’t want my partner going down on your wife then. My gut reaction, sorry.

[njbm 2,873]

Some people start soft swap, where they will perform oral on others, but not intercourse. We’ve met non-kissers. We met a couple where the husband would perform oral, but no intercourse and the wife did the opposite. I realize that everyone needs acclimation time, but if you kiss, perform oral and intercourse, you will be open to a larger audience.

[Jane1902 476]

I wanted to clarify my point a bit. Does your wife not want you doing oral on other women because perhaps you don’t do it much for her and she is aware of your lack of enthusiasm? I can understand then her frustration and while trying to be respectful of your limitations may I suggest you spend more time on her with that and have some fun. But I am not a fan of “only for us” as don’t you want the other party to give it their all also? It is also how it is presented, maybe oral is not your thing but do you give a great massage? I remember once discussing my limit of no anal and the man’s reaction of “too bad you don’t do anal” left me feeling not bad at all that I had passed on him.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

You should respect your wife's wishes. There other things you can do.

 

Oral is a part of playing. If you are going to cross that off your list your experiences with other people might be less satisfying. For the other person.