New to this and wanting to share wife more

[Funcouple89 15]

Hi, very new to this and not really looking into swinging but sharing my wife with other guys. I allow my wife to sleep with other guys and she has done on two occasions whilst on holiday with her friends. Recently she’s been more raunchy whilst out with me, not wearing any underwear and when she’s had a few drinks gives cheeky flash. Last time we were out she was flirting and even kissed a guy. I’ve discussed arranging to meet up with another guy with her but at the moment she’s not going for it. What I’m planning is to organise a guy to approach us in a bar and hit on her and seduce her. She wouldn’t be able to know I’d arranged it though and she would have to think it had just happened. Is this something that happens or that you have heard that happens? I want this to be safe and friendly as possible. Looking to do this whilst we are in Las Vegas next week. Thanks for reading and any comments are appreciated

[JandKinBoise 858]

Welcome Funcouple. I think it was a good idea to come here and post this prior to doing it. Usually, when it comes to swinging, or any kind of planned extramarital sex, the decision is left to the wife.

With guys, it's easy to think we can jump in and go crazy. Married women, being asked to have sex with strangers, may need to process it a lot more. They also may process it and decide to not do it, as it may jeopardize another aspect of their lives. Women will look at the big picture more, where we just look at the surface pleasure. If she is saying no, please honor that. You can bring it up with her, and she may eventually go along, but manipulating a situation rarely works and is kinda underhanded.

Keep in mind that sexual equality rarely exists in a marriage. There is almost always one that is more into sex than the other. Experience tells me that trying to bring the lagging person up to a more sexual level is frustrating at best.

[Funcouple89 15]

Thank you for your reply and sensible advice.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Keep talking with her and really establish the trust and openness that comes from great communication. Maybe once she sees that you are real about this she will accept it as something that is okay...or maybe she won't. Either way, honor her wishes and if she says no, then leave it at that.

[ViSexual 1,008]

I would sure think twice about prearranging something that she's not aware of in advance. You could lose her trust and that could end everything that you've had.

[agreatguy 269]

She's got to be ready for it or it could end badly.

I'd advise making sure it's something she wants to do before proceeding and then let her do it her way.

 

I have the same basic fantasy. I'd like to see my wife approached at an upscale hotel bar then let her make a proposition of a MFM threesome if she's feeling it with the guy. We've done MFM before.

We've discussed it and she's open to it. We just haven't pulled the trigger yet mostly due to timing.

 

I would think this is something that could happen pretty organically in Vegas if she wants to go through with it. Shouldn't take any pre-arranging.

[HotEllie 87]

I would sure think twice about prearranging something that she's not aware of in advance. You could lose her trust and that could end everything that you've had.

 

A million times this. I would be very upset if my husband did something like this. It is about trust.

[padoc 1,703]

Arranging something like this without the wife's foreknowledge is a recipe for disaster. Rethink your approach.

[njbm 2,873]

Ditto. Find out her interests and fantasies. If you are on board, do that. Don’t have her act out your fantasies.

[midlifecrisis 25]

I've thought about doing the same thing for my wife, but never did. I think if you are going into this lifestyle, everything needs to be above board and honest. It could ruin a relationship if she found out you set it up or went behind her back.

[EastInWest 1,524]

There's nothing wrong with this fantasy scenario, we've done it and others here have done it, but like everyone is saying, she needs to know and fully understand.

 

I'm not sure what benefit would come from her not knowing, anyway. With her on board, she can encourage it and have fun with it. She's likely to shut it down if she doesn't understand what you're doing.