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Eyesonus2

Married man new to swinging

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I am married but my wife wants no part of this. As a single Male how likely is it to find a couple or a single female wanting to be with me?

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Seeing that you are a new member, I welcome you to Swingersboard. Short answer to your question: not likely but not impossible.

 

Has your wife given you a permission to go out and find extracurricular fun? Some couples and many women are willing to hook-up with a guy it it is known that he has a permission.

 

Post Script: Although it does no fit into the conventional definition of swing and the activity you contemplate might not have a name, I am aware that people do it.

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You may find this hard to believe OP but most swinging couples are HUGE believers in marital fidelity. We may boink other people but we do so with the full knowledge and consent of our partners. Unless your wife is fully on board, you're just a cheater and will have even less of a chance than the thousands of genuinely single males out there who think swinging is the secret to getting laid with no strings attached.

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The OP has a genuinely bad and selfish idea. Bad idea for swinging, bad idea for his marriage. Dude, if your wife ain’t playing, you ain’t playing. Most swingers don’t want to play with a married guy with a hall pass. There are lots of truly single guys. Why worry about a spurned wife barging in on her cheating husband?

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You should try being a single male, It is quit the task to accomplish. At the least be happy with what you have and be respectful of her feelings.

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Speaking on behalf of my single friends and I, all I can say is....don't do it. You are NOT a single male. You will be fighting an uphill battle. Maybe you're on here looking for permission. You're not getting it from anyone here. Quite possibly you are here to find out how to CHEAT on your wife without her finding out. Rest assured, we almost always know. Only question will be....will she hold it over your head...or use it against you in divorce court. Good luck. Enough of my rant :)

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I am married but my wife wants no part of this.

 

Here's a thought - try being so affectionate and generous to your wife so that she feels comfortable considering non-monogamy. Make her feel comfortable and secure in her relationship with you, good and confident about herself and her body. Go with her or send her (her choice) to a spa. Take her out (dinner, theater, concerts - her choice) places that have just a little spark to them. The two major goals are to 1) put her in control, 2) let her know that whatever she decides (what, where, with whom, for how long) are totally up to her. It may take some time, years maybe, but it should be fun for her and, because it is fun for her, for you as well.

 

After she has a well developed sense of confidence, control and security in your marriage, then just subtly let her know that the door is open for HER (not you) to take on a lover, sex partner, FWB, whatever. You have to make it about her, not you, and on her terms. If you do you job well, she will take you up on having sex with another man (or woman). If you do your job really well, she will ask you to join her on the adventure also; but keep in mind it still must be on her terms. Good luck and keep us posted.

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