Not sure if this is just fantasy or if we want to start down the path.

[Yourfunfriends 45]

My wife and I are very verbal when we have sex and for the past year or so, it's evolved more into talking about full swapping scenarios. We've been to lifestyle resorts and we love watching and being watched, but have never played with another couple. I think we're both on the cusp of either leaving it a fantasy or going down the path starting with soft swap and inching our way to see how we actually like it.

 

we've had threesomes with a girl before, but one of my biggest fantasies is a threesome with another guy. We're both bi/bi-curious so having a bi guy would be ideal (best of both worlds for me!) At a lifestyle resort, we once had a single male approach us and ask if we wanted some company. At the time we said no, thank you. But we often talk about and fantasize about what if we had said yes and let him join us. I think my wife is extremely sexy (see pic) and I've often fantasized about sitting back and watching her with another man while I get off (while we're dirty talking during sex, she seems to get wetter at the thought).

 

I guess my question is, how do you know when you should just keep things a fantasy vs actually going through with it? I know every couple is different, and i do feel we have a strong relationship I just wanted to hear what made you decide to go for it.

 

 

[adamgunn 1,461]

Well, anytime you try something new, it's a leap of faith. You say you have a strong relationship, and you seem to be talking it through together. That's a big key.

 

Assuming you're both on the same page, I'd suggest that you give it a try one time, and see how it goes.

 

The best of luck to you.

[JandKinBoise 859]

If you try this out and find it causes serious problems you didn't expect, at least you have your communication. You aren't going in blind. A bad experience would probably have minimal effect on your relationship.

 

Sex carries a lot of weight. Taking that step is huge for a couple. Afterward at home, talking about your night, is where the truth comes out. Many couples decide at that point it isn't for them. Many couples find themselves thinking how many years were wasted before doing this. You just don't know till ya try, but I think you guys are safe to find out.

[Numex 2,459]

Yourfunfriends said:

.. I think my wife is extremely sexy (see pic)...

 

how do you know when you should just keep things a fantasy vs actually going through with it?.

 

If you both want to try it, you agree that if it doesn't work you will talk about it, and either adjust and try again or give it up. There are plenty of things that you don't know whether you will like it until you try. More regrets are the adventures not taken.

 

BTW, you are correct about your wife being extremely sexy.

[Yourfunfriends 45]

If you both want to try it, you agree that if it doesn't work you will talk about it, and either adjust and try again or give it up. There are plenty of things that you don't know whether you will like it until you try. More regrets are the adventures not taken.

 

BTW, you are correct about your wife being extremely sexy.

 

Thanks, we both enjoy the attention she gets at nude resorts and that's a great idea to talk about how it goes afterward. We'll definitely consider the responses here. Were actually thinking about going to Hedonism or one of the cruises sometime this year to see what opportunities arise.

[Bluespruce1 707]

Sometimes you just have to give it a try. Talk a lot and if it feels right, go for it. Talk after and decide it it’s right for you. Our first time was with a couple - I think that’s best since you both get to experience someone else. I waited for him to penetrate her before I entered the other guy’s wife - once I saw how much she was enjoying him I felt like I was good to go. After, she did say she felt a twinge of jealousy as I made her cum but was to wrapped up into her own experience to really care. We continue to talk a lot about what we like and what we don’t do all is good.

[Guest]

I think one of the first steps is to:

 

A) Fully identify what you and your wife are looking for in a male partner.

 

For example, are you just looking to meet a total stranger and fuck them, are you looking for a purely 100% sexual encounter with this man (OR) are you looking for a longer term playmate, are you looking for a friendship, an ongoing regular situation. You said in your post "What made you deice to go for it?" Well in my experience a lot of couples who jump into playing don't really know what they are going for. People are different and sure some couples would simply prefer to meet a stranger for a one night stand, where other couples would prefer to take their time and get to know this person first, even build a friendship with them and regular sexual meetings.

 

I find it helps a great deal if you fully understand what you are looking for, and what your partner would be looking for. In many cases a couple will be looking for a longer term friendly playmate only to be upset when they meet people who only want quick sexual kicks. On the flip side some couples would prefer meeting a stranger for one night of steamy sex and get put off my people who offer too much friendship or contact. Obviously there is a lot of other factors to think about, I mean are you looking for a tall man / short man / thin man / larger man / a man with short hair / long hair / no hair.

 

Getting a good basic idea of what your looking for and what type of encounter you want is a dam good idea before jumping in and going for it. In some cases you can meet a man who ONLY wants the sexual aspect and has 0% interest in you as people or friends, in fact to some men your not really a person, your wife is simply a walking vagina. Sure a lot of guys are 110% focused on the SEX PART. That in turn can make some wives feel used / dirty / worthless / like a whore / like a sex toy. Some wives basically expected an easy going friendship, they expected to meet a new man who would respect them, treat them as a friend and person, someone who actually cared about their feelings, and sure a lot of wives end up getting burnt and put off this subject when they simply meet a sex mad guy who thinks this is a porn film.

 

On the flip side I have actually met couples who do JUST want the sex part, I have met couple who have 0% interest in friendship / in taking their time / in getting to know each other. I met one couple and within about 10 minutes of meeting them his wife was naked with her pussy shoved in my face. Some couples actually get nervous or offended if you try getting to know them. That perhaps some couples think "If its JUST SEX and we don't become friends with them then our lives are safer, they won't become too close to us for comfort" So sure some couple do just prefer the sexual part and little else.

 

Deciding what YOU WANT and what type of encounter your looking for will help. Do you just want to quickly meet a stranger and fuck, or do you want to progress a friendship with this new person, what type of encounter do you want? Another thing that is often debated amongst couples is the logistics, for example do you want to meet a man who lives in the same city as you (OR) would your prefer meeting a man whilst on a holiday. If you want a regular situation, if you want to build a new friendship then sure meeting a man who lives close to you would help. If you simply want a one night stand or steamy weekend then sure meet a man anywhere and simply have a holiday fling or whatever.

 

Those are two very different options, the long term friendship and ongoing sexual playmate VS the one off totally sexual romping session. Think about what is best for you, and also what is best for your wife. Would your wife be okay simply meeting a random man and spending the night bouncing up and down on his cock, or would your wife prefer to meet a man and get to know them first, would she prefer a longer term like situation where the person actually treats her more like a friend and sexual buddy.

 

 

B) To mentally prepare for things.

 

The truth is, if your meeting a man then on a lot of occasions things can go wrong or simply not turn out as planned.

 

For example.....

 

 

1: You want to meet a bisexual man, and sure you meet a man who says he is bisexual.

But actually when you do meet him it actually turns out he was lying and isn't bisexual at all.

 

2: You want to meet a nice single man, and sure you meet a man who says he is single.

But actually when you do meet him for real it turns out he is a cheating man with a wife and two children at home.

 

3: You want to meet a working professional type man.

But actually when you meet find out he is an unemployed lay about.

 

4: You desire to meet a man with good hygiene.

But you end up meeting a man who actually has fairly poor hygiene.

 

5: You desire to meet a man who can offer you respect and friendship.

But actually you meet a 100% sex obsessed man who wants to treat your wife like she is a hardcore porn star.

 

6: You want to meet a man who has similar religious or political views as you.

But you end up meeting a man who totally 100% opposite views to you.

 

7: You want to meet a man who keeps your rules and respects your boundaries.

But instead you end up meeting a rude pushy man who ignores your rules and is sexually pushy and aggressive.

 

The list goes on.........

 

 

The point been what YOU WANT and what you actually get are often two very different things and it helps if you and your partner are both prepared for that.

 

That in some respects you have to be willing to accept your failures along with your successes.

 

I actually find this can have a very negative effect on people, for example your wife wants to meet someone who is clean, but you end up meeting someone with bad hygiene, your wife wants to meet someone who isn't sexually pushy, but instead you meet a sex crazed man who does nothing but push for sex, your wife wants to meet a man who treat her with respect but ends up meeting a man who views her as a sex object and slag of meat in which to ram his penis. In such circumstances its not long before said wife gets totally put off this subject, that actually the wife needs to understand there will be failures, and successes.

 

 

One thing that did jump out at me about your post is that you said ideally you would like to meet a bisexual man.

 

However please be warned that a lot of guys on line will happily SAY they are bisexual, when actually they are NOT AT ALL.

 

In fact some are downright homophobic and have serious issues even been naked with another man in the same room.

 

I guess a lot of guys simply think....

 

"Sure I'll SAY I'm bisexual if that gives me a chance at fucking his wife"

 

Over the years I have met various guys for MMF threesomes who have claimed to be bisexual, and then when it comes down to it they are NOT BISEXUAL AT ALL.

 

You will find that loads of straight guys messages you saying....

 

"Hey I know my profile says I'm 100% straight but really I'm bisexual"

 

Translated into honesty....

 

"Hey I know my profile says I'm 100% straight but I'm happy to lie to your face and pretend I'm bisexual because then you might believe me which means I can fuck your wife?"

 

Lots of guys are happy to pretend to be bisexual if it means they have a chance at banging your wife.

 

 

 

Guess my overall point is.....

 

Don't just GO FOR IT.

 

But instead be sure about what your going for, and be prepared for certain things to go wrong or not be as you imagined.

[English Flames 26]

JandKinBoise said:

If you try this out and find it causes serious problems you didn't expect, at least you have your communication. You aren't going in blind. A bad experience would probably have minimal effect on your relationship.

 

This bit of advice was my favorite so far. Our last outing ended up being primarily a MFM with my wife. It was hot and no jealousy issues whatsoever. The whole situation didn’t sit well with me afterwards mostly because the guys wife was not engaging at all and after lots of time to process my wife and I came to the conclusion that she was simply there to get her husband laid. It’s all good now! I have no regrets. I still had fun despite the fact that the evening didn’t go exactly as planned. Just as JandKinBoise said, “you have your communication to fall back on” and they’re exactly right! You sound like you’re in the right head space to give it a try and I say you should too. Just take your time!

[TwoFunTexans 103]

It sounds like y'all are in a good place and you've been exposed to it enough that you know what you're getting yourself into. Like others have said, go for it and give it a shot and see how you feel. If it miss fires just agree to leave it alone and don't hold anything against either person. It has a learning curve but if you're both mature about it you should be able to forget about a misstep.