If you had it to do over again ...

[NC_Seniors 518]

We're complete newbies to the LS. We've attended a Meet & Greet, a couple of house parties, and two club parties. So far, we haven't had an experience with anybody else. We're still unsure of whether to set ourselves a limit for our first experience -- if and when it comes -- or just go where the "spirit" takes us. For those of you who *have* engaged with others, was your first time same room, soft swap, or full swap? If it was same room or soft swap, do you wish you had gone farther? If it was full swap, do you think that you went too far? Or was the experience just right?

[Chris&Suzanne 204]

for our first time we thought we would keep it soft swap, we graduated to full swap that same night. we had a planned meeting at a hotel.

[adamgunn 1,460]

After talking it over for three years, our first experience was going to a club where we got naked in the hot tub and then had sex by ourselves with an open door.

 

I'm very glad we took it a little bit slow. It gave us a little breathing space to make sure we weren't being too weird. And when we had our first full swap just ten days later, neither of us worried that we were doing anything wrong for our marriage.

[agreatguy 269]

There's really a first for everything.

We've had lots of firsts. First exhibitionism, First contact which involved a guy feeling my wife's breasts. First FF contact. First parallel play, first full swap, first MFM.

 

Each one was a step and while I don't think we had hard and fast rules about what our limit was(We knew we wanted to be able to full swap) we also knew that it would take some time to get comfortable with it all, see how it felt and then adjust accordingly if needed.

 

The first time a guy touched my wife it turned her on to the point she gave me a blowjob while he watched. There was absolutely no way she was going to go any further with someone else that night although several discussions afterward involved the "what if" scenario and it turned her on again but at that time she had reached her own personal boundary. I was fine with that. Along the way we've had other firsts just like that and within a few months we were engaged in our first full swap. Then it was a MFM for her, now she wants to seduce a BBC.

 

I'd say each experience so far has been just right for where we were in our adventure at the time.

[Alura 2,774]

What constitutes a "beginning?"

 

Laura and I talked about the concept of extra-marital sex for two years before we got married and another year before our first swap. We were in line at a fast-serve pizza place when Laura complimented a lady on her earrings. The four of us sat together to eat. They were fun, attractive and good conversationalists. After dinner, bills paid, we were getting ready to leave, saying how much we'd enjoyed our meeting and "Hope we run into each other again."

 

Laura asked, "How do y'all feel about mate-sharing?" An hour later Laura was doing Rick in our bedroom and I was doing Jo on our couch.

[padoc 1,703]

What an absolutely wonderful memory!

[PSULioness 839]

My big regret is my first time with a woman I was not with my husband. My first threesome was with a friend and a guy she was friends with.

[Numex 2,409]

.., was your first time same room, soft swap, or full swap? If it was same room or soft swap, do you wish you had gone farther? If it was full swap, do you think that you went too far? Or was the experience just right?

We both found us revealing the details of our past sex partners brought jealousy and excitement. Eventually, I told my wife she could reconnect with past lovers, and she took me up on it with two exes. She started just by meeting, then going to dinner with them (separately), and since they had fucked before, it quickly led to sex. At first it was alone, but since all was in the open and he knew that I knew that it was all ok, they fucked at our house. The other guy was out of town, so it was an hotel. I eventually met them both (everything with these guys was separate) and we started doing MFMs as well.

 

Do I think we should have started another way? Hell, I don't know, I'm just glad that we got started. We're doing everything we want to now, so I don't think it matters how we got started.

[ViSexual 1,008]

Our first was totally unexpected. A couple we knew seduced us. Now, half of the first was separate rooms. My wife and the other husband were alone but the other wife and I knew it was happening. Then, just shortly after, we had same room. I'll never be able to decide if having the other wife, my first other since getting married, was better than watching my young wife with my friend.

[Guest]

Our first “swinging” experience was MFM. We did 5 or so, different guy plus my husband each time, and then we ventured into a couples club. First time there, we kind of waited to long in the meet and greet area but then figured out that the crowd had disppeared to the upstairs playrooms. We went there, watched a bit and then climbed on a empty bed and had sex with the two of us. Next visit there a few weeks later, we had full, same room swaps. I enjoy both but love the attention a girl gets in MFM and MMFM. A do over, I would start with MFM at maybe age 18 instead of 40something.

[adamgunn 1,460]

Chico, I'm glad you're enjoying the lifestyle. You said, "A do over, I would start with MFM at maybe age 18 instead of 40something." Do you think that perhaps the added maturity made it easier to enjoy what you were doing?

 

It seems to me that a young person who jumps into this kind of thing sometimes is conflicted about what it right and wrong. Added years means additional thoughts about proper ethics.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

My wife and I dived into the pool heads-first: full-swap, no condoms, kissing not disallowed, full-steam ahead, full-fun enabled. That was eighteen years ago and we have never regretted it.

 

P.S. I can think of no other analogies or similes that I can strain.

[Bluespruce1 706]

Our first followed lots of drinking and some strip games with one of her friends. We were very close and had been friends for a couple of years. Once we were nude, the girls wanted to tease me. They started touching my cock and I got hard quick. My wife started to suck my cock while her friend held my shaft. She asked my wife if she could help so they both worked on my. My hands were full of tits and ass. My wife asked her to take pictures of us fucking. It was such a rish having someone there. I shot my load pretty quick and my wife told her to get me hard again and that she wanted to watch us. She got on top and fucked me hard while my wife kissed her and feltsbher tits. She had a powerful orgasm and we played for an hour or so afterwards. We slept together and played again in the morning. Fortunately things never got weird and we are still close.

[Guest]

Chico, I'm glad you're enjoying the lifestyle. You said, "A do over, I would start with MFM at maybe age 18 instead of 40something." Do you think that perhaps the added maturity made it easier to enjoy what you were doing?

 

It seems to me that a young person who jumps into this kind of thing sometimes is conflicted about what it right and wrong. Added years means additional thoughts about proper ethics.

 

As young girls, you all expect us to lose our virginity at 15, 16 or 17. In fact, if we waited until 25 or 30, you would think we were a bit strange. So, your difference in expectations? If I lived through losing mine at 15, having sex weekly there after with my bf two years older, and I can now reflect back and say that was fine and wow, I wish had been doing this other stuff earlier as well, how can you question that? Are you Dr. Freud?

[EastInWest 1,524]

To answer the original question, we limited ourselves to soft swap, same room. After our first session we took an opportunity to talk privately and make sure we were having fun, then had another session where she had her first "spit roast", me behind her. It was all good and the following night she wanted to try full swap with the same couple from the first session. I think having some boundaries was important to make sure that we had an opportunity to step back if it didn't work, but it turned out that it did work and we never regretted it.

 

I think agreatguy has a good point above, which is that those first experiments with teasing, touching, and exhibition are big steps that will help you figure out what you want. We knew the people we were playing with well and connecting with new people was a very different move that took more work to build up her confidence. Flirting, nude sunbathing, getting felt up on a dance floor, making out a little, all those things gradually confirmed for her that "yes, I can do that".

 

We've had a couple of bland experiences at this point, but nothing we regret at all. We both understand each other's sexuality much, much better than we did when we started.

 

As young girls, you all expect us to lose our virginity at 15, 16 or 17. In fact, if we waited until 25 or 30, you would think we were a bit strange. So, your difference in expectations? If I lived through losing mine at 15, having sex weekly there after with my bf two years older, and I can now reflect back and say that was fine and wow, I wish had been doing this other stuff earlier as well, how can you question that? Are you Dr. Freud?

 

I think there's a "grass is always greener" aspect to looking back on missed experiences.

 

I know that when I was younger, I knew what I liked, but considered it fairly extreme and probably missed some opportunities with women who would have been game. Then I got a little older and realized that a lot of us are walking around like that: wanting to experiment but also believing everybody else would think it's too much. Sometimes I was trying to be a traditional guy and ended up being the boring guy, or even boring myself out of the relationship because I just wasn't happy like that and knew it. Then it sort of clicked where I was going wrong and I started having more fun.

 

Mrs. E was on a different spot on that trail, she knew she had a high libido but really thought vanilla was not just the norm, but practically universal law. She went to a Catholic school (yes, nuns and Catholic schoolgirl uniform) and felt good about being a rule-follower, then settled down young. That didn't work. After her divorce, she started having second thoughts. It's a big part of how we connected, that I was having fun and she wanted to figure out how to have fun.

 

I'll never forget the time she blurted out, while we were talking about our past experiences, something to the effect that if she'd had any idea what she was missing out on, she would've ignored the nuns and spent those years on her hands and knees in the boy's locker room.

 

Point is, now we've both moved into a lot of experiences together that have been a blast, and are still trying new things as life evolves around us. It's great. Yet, I see where adamgunn is coming from. Maybe if we'd met in college passing Mrs. E around to my friends would have been incredibly hot.

 

Then again, maybe it would have been a traumatic and humiliating disaster that tore us apart. I certainly didn't know how to navigate jealousy and trust issues back then, and even the woman I met was absolutely scandalized that she'd had two dates in the same weekend end up in bed. Maybe the girls I was seeing then weren't cut out for it and never would be. We can't truly know our old selves and just have to fully embrace what we get in life and make the most of the future.

[adamgunn 1,460]

[lcmim 1,081]

We started playing later. Married in our 30's and were strictly mono until we were empty nesters with grandchildren.

 

We have talked about whether we should have started playing earlier in life. For us the answer is NO. At each stage, young marrieds, parents of small children, homeschooling parents of teenagers,caregivers to aging parents we were living the life that best suited our roles in life.

 

We were always very playful together, but kept the division between our home and the world. Now that those times are past we feel like branching out and so far it has been seamless. We are learning new things about ourselves and each other at a rate unheard of since the NRE of almost 40 years ago. It is exhilarating.

 

We would not change any of it. That however is just us. We have , what are now very close friends our age that have been at this for decades, they are also content with how it has played out for them.

 

If I were to make recommendations to anyone it would be, to be who you are supposed to be for wherever you are in your life's journey, and that is something only you can judge.

[agreatguy 269]

To answer the original question, we limited ourselves to soft swap, same room. After our first session we took an opportunity to talk privately and make sure we were having fun, then had another session where she had her first "spit roast", me behind her. It was all good and the following night she wanted to try full swap with the same couple from the first session. I think having some boundaries was important to make sure that we had an opportunity to step back if it didn't work, but it turned out that it did work and we never regretted it.

 

I think agreatguy has a good point above, which is that those first experiments with teasing, touching, and exhibition are big steps that will help you figure out what you want. We knew the people we were playing with well and connecting with new people was a very different move that took more work to build up her confidence. Flirting, nude sunbathing, getting felt up on a dance floor, making out a little, all those things gradually confirmed for her that "yes, I can do that".

 

We've had a couple of bland experiences at this point, but nothing we regret at all. We both understand each other's sexuality much, much better than we did when we started.

 

 

 

I think there's a "grass is always greener" aspect to looking back on missed experiences.

 

I know that when I was younger, I knew what I liked, but considered it fairly extreme and probably missed some opportunities with women who would have been game. Then I got a little older and realized that a lot of us are walking around like that: wanting to experiment but also believing everybody else would think it's too much. Sometimes I was trying to be a traditional guy and ended up being the boring guy, or even boring myself out of the relationship because I just wasn't happy like that and knew it. Then it sort of clicked where I was going wrong and I started having more fun.

 

Mrs. E was on a different spot on that trail, she knew she had a high libido but really thought vanilla was not just the norm, but practically universal law. She went to a Catholic school (yes, nuns and Catholic schoolgirl uniform) and felt good about being a rule-follower, then settled down young. That didn't work. After her divorce, she started having second thoughts. It's a big part of how we connected, that I was having fun and she wanted to figure out how to have fun.

 

I'll never forget the time she blurted out, while we were talking about our past experiences, something to the effect that if she'd had any idea what she was missing out on, she would've ignored the nuns and spent those years on her hands and knees in the boy's locker room.

 

Point is, now we've both moved into a lot of experiences together that have been a blast, and are still trying new things as life evolves around us. It's great. Yet, I see where adamgunn is coming from. Maybe if we'd met in college passing Mrs. E around to my friends would have been incredibly hot.

 

Then again, maybe it would have been a traumatic and humiliating disaster that tore us apart. I certainly didn't know how to navigate jealousy and trust issues back then, and even the woman I met was absolutely scandalized that she'd had two dates in the same weekend end up in bed. Maybe the girls I was seeing then weren't cut out for it and never would be. We can't truly know our old selves and just have to fully embrace what we get in life and make the most of the future.

 

Yeah, we can play out the "what if" scenarios to any conclusion we'd like and they'd probably all be pretty reasonable in hindsight.

 

My first marriage was way too young. It was what was expected of us and we followed blindly along the trail laid out for us. Had she, by some miracle, been OK with the lifestyle she would have gone all in for a couple years just like everything else she did then arbitrarily decided she wanted to join the sweater knitting club instead, leaving me hanging and wondering what caused the lane change. It probably would have ended the marriage sooner than it did but then I might have ended up in another equally bad relationship rather than where I am now.

 

After the divorce and a couple of tries at being in a relationship with vanilla women, yet hoping they might have a sense of adventure, I finally reached an age and level of maturity to be able to say "this is what I want. Who would like to join me on an adventure?" My wife had much the same frustrations, knowing there was more to be experienced but not finding the person she felt she would ever be able to trust with her "kinky" desires and her emotional well being in the aftermath. In a nutshell, that's how we met. After dating and getting serious we knew that we were meant to experience this together. We had to build the trust and communication first but we knew we were working toward a goal not only of a lifetime relationship but one that would allow us to play with others together.

 

Since I am at a point that I am happy in life I don't think I have any real regrets about what got me to this point.

[TwoFunTexans 103]

We jumped in full swap once we were done discussing it. We met up for drinks with a couple and then went to a hotel they got for the night with same room different beds. After we were done we left and they stayed the night. Our minds were blown and we were excited all the way home. We haven't looked back and that was four years ago!

[couplers 4,614]

"If you had it to do over again ..." I'd do it all over again.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Both of us had marriages that were way too long and way too disappointing (both of our spouses blamed their unhappiness on us) and we had some dark, difficult, trying times afterwards before we met as well. However, if you were to change anything, there's a great chance that we wouldn't have ended up together and were we are now. Instead of looking back with regret, we enjoy today and look forward with excitement. Looking back is reserved for two things: to remember fond memories and to prevent repeating mistakes previously made. If you regret something you did in the past, learn from that and don't allow it to happen again in the future. We both LOVE LOVE LOVE where we are today. While some of the things we went through to get here was hard and frightening, we would do it all over again (especially if we knew the outcome of now). We would do it all again and change nothing.

[Alura 2,774]

https://video.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?fr=yhs-pty-pty_maps&hsimp=yhs-pty_maps&hspart=pty&p=garth+brooks+the+dance#id=2&vid=f05cd30a35a657900a4b0d6db84f2d81&action=view

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

More like:

 

 

Rascal Flatts - Here

 

And I wouldn't change a thing

I'd walk right back through the rain

Back to every broken heart

On the day that it was breakin'

And I'd relive all the years

And be thankful for the tears

I've cried with every stumbled step

That led to you and got me here, right here

[Eddiem 139]

We're complete newbies to the LS. We've attended a Meet & Greet, a couple of house parties, and two club parties. So far, we haven't had an experience with anybody else. We're still unsure of whether to set ourselves a limit for our first experience -- if and when it comes -- or just go where the "spirit" takes us. For those of you who *have* engaged with others, was your first time same room, soft swap, or full swap? If it was same room or soft swap, do you wish you had gone farther? If it was full swap, do you think that you went too far? Or was the experience just right?

First time started as a massage with a friend and my wife, graduated into a 3some. Do over again? nothing really.