Embarrassing Situation

[UpTheWazoo 17]

Hi everyone, my husband and I are early 30s and fairly new to swinging. We have a night planned this weekend with a couple in their late 40s who we've met up with twice before.

 

My husband and I recently did anal (not something we usually do) and it resulted in me developing a small hemorrhoid. I've been treating it over the past week hoping it will go away before our meeting tomorrow but as of this morning it's still there.

 

Icky detail time (sorry): it's only visible if my ass is spread open. If I refrain from letting anyone spread my cheeks open, it won't be visible.

 

We're faced with the decision of whether to cancel the meeting or not. A hemorrhoid is not exactly conducive to a sexy swinging environment and it's embarrassing to have anyone potentially see it.

 

On the other hand, apart from the embarrassing nature of the subject the actual hemorrhoid itself is really small and not actually that unsightly. My husband took a photo of it for me and it just looks like a small ever-so-slightly bluish lump on the inside of my anus. If I saw it on the other woman's bum and I knew what it was, I don't think I'd care.

 

1. Do we cancel and tell the couple the honest reason? Or do we make up an excuse in case this is too much information to share with a swinging couple?

 

2. Do we tell them about it and leave the decision in their hands? They might have dealt with hemorrhoids themselves in the past and don't find it a big deal.

 

3. Do we continue with the meeting but don't mention it, and state that there is to be no ass play this time?

 

Your opinions are greatly appreciated. I'm really not wanting to lie or mislead them and want to do right by everyone involved. I'm leaning towards being honest and letting them decide.

[adamgunn 1,460]

Question for you: Do YOU want to swing? That's the key here, you sound a little ambivalent. If you don't want to play with your problem, just tell the other couple you're having a small health issue (no need to go into detail,) and when can we reschedule.

 

If you do want to play. Well, have you and the other husband done anal before (even touching)? Or does the other husband think it might be on the menu? If so, before you begin playing just tell him you have a tender ass, and please don't go there. Otherwise, it's your choice to either tell him, or warn him if he begins to go there.

 

I understand your concern, but really it's not that big of a deal when it comes to playing. Get better soon!

[UpTheWazoo 17]

I do want to go ahead with the night. My concern is that they will be put off.

 

The wife put her mouth there last time but didn't penetrate with her fingers, that's the extent of the ass play with that couple. We've all moved very slowly as we're all quite new to it.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

...state that there is to be no ass play this time

 

Simple! Have fun!

[lcmim 1,082]

The wife put her mouth there last time but didn't penetrate with her fingers, that's the extent of the ass play with that couple. We've all moved very slowly as we're all quite new to it.

 

Kiss it and make it better??

 

 

Seriously with the ages involved My guess is that such things can be handled easily enough. They have probably dealt with the same thing. The "I am tender there right now" phrase will probably explain it all without more explanation.

 

The only embarrassing thing would be if she went there any way and it should choose that point to rupture.

[Fla-swing99 136]

If you are still interested in getting together with them then I suggest you not cancel. You can still have a great time and just not do any anal play. If the topic of anal comes up, maybe you can just tell them that you and your husband did anal last night and that you are a bit sore. Or put that out there in the beginning of the night so there won't be an uncomfortable moment if they do go back there and you having to stop the moment to say something.

 

The first and most important question you need to answer is do you WANT to keep the date with them still? If so, then go for it. It would still be a fun filled night for you all and nobody would ever have to know about it. Just enjoy the night and have fun. Don't stress over it, it will all be fine.

[Fla-swing99 136]

LOL, yes I would absolutely agree with you on that. My oversite. Hubby and I are new to this forum board, actually forum boards in general so thanks for pointing that out, lesson learned.

[UpTheWazoo 17]

The notifications pulled me back, as you anticipated

 

Yeah, I'm in New Zealand. Swinging is becoming increasingly popular here, especially with younger couples.

 

To update you on how the night went with that other couple: it was a terrible night, but that had nothing to do with the hemorrhoid.

 

We spent the evening with them, drinking wine and talking, which we love to do. They're great conversation partners and we all consider it part of the build up and foreplay.

 

We played a couple of board games once the mood turned silly and that was fun. I brought up the subject of boundaries to make sure everyone was on the same page before things went further. The husband and I had been doing most of the communicating online before meeting up and, when discussing boundaries, I assumed he was passing it on to his wife as I was to my husband. Up to this point we hadn't done any swapping with this couple; it had all been same room stuff with a bit of girl on girl. The other husband and I, during our online communication, had agreed to try soft swinging this time. He assured me they were comfortable with it.

 

When I brought it up on the night it turns out he hadn't told his wife at all - she had no knowledge of the plan to try soft swinging. She obviously felt very put on the spot and said no, she wasn't comfortable doing it. We said that's fine, and didn't push the matter. The husband didn't apologise or offer an explanation; he acted like it was the first he'd heard of the idea too, completely dropping us in it.

 

Looking back I wish I'd confronted him and told his wife that it he had agreed to it on her behalf, but I think I wanted to salvage the mood before the evening was ruined. We were staying in the same cabin as them and had nowhere else to go if things turned bad, so we had to keep the peace.

 

The next day, after we left, we sent him a message saying how disappointing it was and we hoped he would be more open with his wife in future if we were to meet up again. He just never replied and that was the end of that.

 

We've since met another couple that we've progressed with to the stage of full swap. Our cherry has been popped