My wife sleeps with all my friends

[Aaron911 45]

So to make a long story short... I let my wife do her own thing sexually so she decides to sleep with all my friends which makes it a little weird for me and I feel like I need new friends because of the awkwardness. Lol anyone been through this before?

[Guest]

We started with MFM with strangers or guys we just barely knew; you know, maybe saw them at a bar once or twice. Then moved to couple clubs and swaps. We read all of the literature about not doing it with friends but then one night, hubby suggested I give a male friend of mine a BJ and I did after the 3 of us hot tubbed naked together. And that turned into an all night MFM. After that, I mean like several months of that, then we decided that doing it with friends made a lot more sense then picking up strangers. it makes for much more of a partying atmosphere for whatever events we are attending. And biker weekends away (we have a HD) a whole lot more fun. Thus far, no real downside.

[Aaron911 45]

We started with MFM with strangers or guys we just barely knew; you know, maybe saw them at a bar once or twice. Then moved to couple clubs and swaps. We read all of the literature about not doing it with friends but then one night, hubby suggested I give a male friend of mine a BJ and I did after the 3 of us hot tubbed naked together. And that turned into an all night MFM. After that, I mean like several months of that, then we decided that doing it with friends made a lot more sense then picking up strangers. it makes for much more of a partying atmosphere for whatever events we are attending. And biker weekends away (we have a HD) a whole lot more fun. Thus far, no real downside.

 

Yes I agree, everything was good with us for almost a year. We even had our friend move in with us but my friend was getting too close and comfortable with my wife so we had to end it...

[EastInWest 1,524]

I mean, we've had some conversations about outside play and had to agree on some boundaries, which include keeping it removed from anyone we know by a couple of degrees of separation and a 100-mile rule. It would be a real mess for us if it became entangled with our vanilla life.

 

From this and your other posts, it seems like you have some concerns about this ruining friendships. Do you want her to find somewhere else to play?

[Aaron911 45]

I mean, we've had some conversations about outside play and had to agree on some boundaries, which include keeping it removed from anyone we know by a couple of degrees of separation and a 100-mile rule. It would be a real mess for us if it became entangled with our vanilla life.

 

From this and your other posts, it seems like you have some concerns about this ruining friendships. Do you want her to find somewhere else to play?

 

Yes you're exactly right....

[Sawman 84]

I wish I was your friend.

[PSULioness 839]

We started with playing with my college friends and their friends. We added my husband’s best friend who has become the person we play the most with. I agree that playing with someone you know and like is much better than finding strangers.

We now also play with my best friend.

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

For us, the whole point of swinging was to find friends that we could fuck.

[ViSexual 1,008]

If you're considering current friends that you've know a while, you should first consider how they're going to think about you. They need to really respect you and your wife both.

 

But, really, it is so much better with friends. And there's nothing wrong with letting a new friend know that the three of you need to become very good friends before any intimacy.

[Aaron911 45]

Okay, you let your wife have sex with other men. So, what's 'weird' and what's 'awkward' ? Also, what came as a surprise, because that's where the big reveal is going to come from. As they said, Denial is not a river in Egypt.

 

I'm talking about when friends are involved lol in my opinion it's a bad idea...

[Brimba 30]

So to make a long story short... I let my wife do her own thing sexually so she decides to sleep with all my friends which makes it a little weird for me and I feel like I need new friends because of the awkwardness. Lol anyone been through this before?

 

Why not sleep with all your wife's friends like her sleeping with all your friends?

[Aaron911 45]

Why not sleep with all your wife's friends like her sleeping with all your friends?

 

Most of her friends aren't as open I guess lol but good question...

[Aaron911 45]

Yes... that would be funny and messed up at the same time lol

[NC_Seniors 518]

A man offers his wife up to his 'friends' and there's a line out the door. A woman offers her husband up to her friends, unless he's Richard Gere, the phrase 'not so much' comes to mind.

 

What was it Jerry Seinfeld said? “A woman needs a reason to have sex ... a man just needs a place.”

[Jane1902 476]

I have noticed a tone in your posts as often “isn’t this funny” or you asking others to share their experiences. Are you seeking advice from others, wanting validation by asking others for their experiences, just wanting to share your story or trolling? Please clarify so some of us can better understand and respond to your posts.

[padoc 1,703]

That Jane is one smart woman!!!

[Aaron911 45]

That Jane is one smart woman!!!

 

She isn't that smart if she doesn't understand a simple post lol. I'm just here sharing my stories and trying to get different feedback to understand my situation better just like everyone else here. Yes I use a lighter tone when I describe my life, so what? But hey, here's a thought.... if you dont like my post, then dont comment and keep on scrolling? Wow you never thought of that huh? Haha.

[EastInWest 1,524]

She isn't that smart if she doesn't understand a simple post lol. I'm just here sharing my stories and trying to get different feedback to understand my situation better just like everyone else here. Yes I use a lighter tone when I describe my life, so what? But hey, here's a thought.... if you dont like my post, then dont comment and keep on scrolling? Wow you never thought of that huh? Haha.

 

No offense to you, but I think you're overreacting a little. I think Jane's getting at the same thing I was, which is that your posts seem to point to a ton of anxiety about what your wife is doing, as if it's gotten out of control and you don't like the way it's going.

 

It seems like you're floating ideas hoping we'll give you the answers you need indirectly, instead of just telling us what's on your mind directly.

 

For us, playing was my idea. My wife and I communicated clearly about what I knew I wanted, about what she was interested in trying, what she thought she might like but wasn't sure, and what I thought would upset me, before she tried anything. Nothing has ever happened that we didn't explore verbally first, and so far, we've never ended up with hurt feelings.

 

You seem to be trying to tell us your wife does whatever she wants, that it's messing up your life, and that you don't have any say-so in it. Some guys do enjoy being cuckolded and having their power taken away, but you don't seem thrilled about what you're doing. I think what Jane is really asking is "are you OK"?

[Aaron911 45]

No offense to you, but I think you're overreacting a little. I think Jane's getting at the same thing I was, which is that your posts seem to point to a ton of anxiety about what your wife is doing, as if it's gotten out of control and you don't like the way it's going.

 

It seems like you're floating ideas hoping we'll give you the answers you need indirectly, instead of just telling us what's on your mind directly.

 

For us, playing was my idea. My wife and I communicated clearly about what I knew I wanted, about what she was interested in trying, what she thought she might like but wasn't sure, and what I thought would upset me, before she tried anything. Nothing has ever happened that we didn't explore verbally first, and so far, we've never ended up with hurt feelings.

 

You seem to be trying to tell us your wife does whatever she wants, that it's messing up your life, and that you don't have any say-so in it. Some guys do enjoy being cuckolded and having their power taken away, but you don't seem thrilled about what you're doing. I think what Jane is really asking is "are you OK"?

 

You are right. I apologize. I'm still not sure how this whole thing works honestly... I was just looking for some answers or maybe someone else was experiencing the same things or maybe some advice... not even sure what the norm is because I'm new to all of this.

[Jane1902 476]

Swinging isn’t about what “the norm is.” It’s what you and your wife agree to that’s important. With the “lol” it’s hard to gage if you are serious. Some people are fine in your situation, and some would not be interested in being a cuck. I wonder if when trying to express to your wife you are not happy with it are you taking a light tone and she doesn’t take you seriously. C is for communication.

[Aaron911 45]

Swinging isn’t about what “the norm is.” It’s what you and your wife agree to that’s important. With the “lol” it’s hard to gage if you are serious. Some people are fine in your situation, and some would not be interested in being a cuck. I wonder if when trying to express to your wife you are not happy with it are you taking a light tone and she doesn’t take you seriously. C is for communication.

 

That's nice and all but I disagree with you. I feel like every person is different and every swinging situation is different. But yes I'm very serious. I'm just trying to find out if anyone is in my same situation so if you're not then you dont need to respond to me. Ok buddy, have a nice day ?

[Aaron911 45]

Honestly I was looking to see if ppl wanted to share similar experiences that they had... jesus lady lol.

[Jane1902 476]

I am responding for other people who may read this post. Aaron’s posts have been confusing to me, sometimes he seems to be joking and only wants other people’s stories. At one point there was a comment about seeking advice by him and he didn’t sound fully comfortable about the situation. I asked for clarification and sure it a nerve. He only wants other people’s stories, perhaps there is another website for cuckhold husbands if someone could direct him. If how he has communicated on this board is reflective of how he communicates with his wife that could explain much of his difficulty. It’s a good example of not communicating clearly, not directly answering a question and deflecting instead.

[adamgunn 1,460]

A great website for cuckolds is the section on ourhotwives.org

[EastInWest 1,524]

Honestly I was looking to see if ppl wanted to share similar experiences that they had... jesus lady lol.

 

Sometimes people, both men and women, come on here and you can tell they're getting dragged along for a ride they didn't really want to go on and they don't know how to stop it.

 

...which, learning to communicate and set boundaries is part of marriage, whether it's about divvying up yard work or having a threesome with your wife's sister.

 

I think it was totally reasonable for Jane to ask. Her reply that there is no "normal" is the same thing I was going to post, because everybody has their own checklist of kinks and insecurities to address. Sometimes things happen and you genuinely wonder, "why does THAT turn me on", it's you and won't always be for everybody else.

 

You just seem like you're in a little bit of distress and got upset when Jane pressed the issue, which really makes it sound like she hit too close to home. It's hard for us to tell if you're getting off on what sounds like cuckold play or resenting it.

 

To be more specific about your question, if it helps you, we have two couples that we play with fairly often.

 

One are old friends of hers who she had fallen out of touch with. The wife invited us when she figured out we were toying with it. They trust each other and we keep communication between the same genders - usually the two of them find out we have a good opportunity to meet, then I and the other husband talk and figure out logistics. The other is a couple we met through them and she and the wife became good friends, as well. They text a lot, and get physical when we play. Again, she doesn't call or message the husband separately, and we think that's the best way to avoid jeopardizing those friendships or anybody saying anything stupid. Neither live near us.

 

Since we started, we've had a situation pop up where we are spending some time apart. We know ourselves well enough to realize it might be difficult, so we had some honest conversations. Some things are inconsequential, can be done separately, and don't need to be discussed in advance. Intercourse does. Seeing someone a second time does. We can both say "no". No sleepovers, no intercourse without a condom, nothing within 100 miles of the house, and nobody who is in touch with people we know professionally or socially.

 

This could all be summed up "we're both horny, physical people who like to go out and have fun, let's not get mad if somebody cums, but keep it away from our vanilla life".

 

We have no male friends we would play with locally. It would be a terrible idea that could really destabilize our lives if somebody went popping off their mouth about it. The situation that you're describing would really go downhill fast for us, and she wouldn't do it in the first place because it'd really be at odds with the way she wants to be seen.

[NC_Seniors 518]

Honestly I was looking to see if ppl wanted to share similar experiences that they had... jesus lady lol.

 

Aaron911 —- I agree with Jane. You seem conflicted about something, but then you include “lol” in nearly every post. How is anybody supposed to know what you’re thinking or asking?

[ntx_partycouple 16]

That's nice and all but I disagree with you. I feel like every person is different and every swinging situation is different. But yes I'm very serious. I'm just trying to find out if anyone is in my same situation so if you're not then you dont need to respond to me. Ok buddy, have a nice day ?

You both are saying the same thing "every situation is different" that's becauseeveyone is indeed different.

 

Whether it's a problem or not depends both on who your friends are , in a sense of what kind of person that might be and also on how you deal with it both internally and overtly. If it's a problem at all.

 

Lots of time what spouses might have agreed on is changed when everyone runs up against something they hadn't considered before. I've seen at least a few people say that it's better to just toss out rules and similar agreements because you'll eventually dump them all anyway. I'm dubious but I get the reason they say that

 

I'm not quite sure but when thinking back obe of our first MFMs, if not the very first one was with a guy that was my best friend all through HS.He and I had shared girls sometimes... somehow it was me that found the ones that were willing to do that stuff, can't imagine why, LOL

He tended to be a bit irreverent and often it could seem he was unconcerned if he were to have a negative impact on someone's relationship with thier wife or GF. There was probably some of that, he was sort of like ther "guy that was always trying to get you to go have fun again" character you see in sitcoms, I'm sure there's an archetype with a name.

I had wanted to avoid that as I felt like he would be a PITA, which he was but only a bit. The real PITAs turned out o be his brothers and a cousin, we had all ran around together and stuff getting out was inevitable

 

With him it was more about him trying to get me to go run around and party like in the old days, with the other guys it was a lot of times about trying to fuck her behind my back.

It might sound odd but those guys were sort of like my brothers , or the older ones about my age were and even tough I was sort of irritated at several of them, they didn't know I knew about it. However the one that was my best bud didn't do that behind my back so much as flirting with her in the open and we did do some things a few times more.

 

I had seen the potential for problems but I can't really say the problems we had in relation to that were cused by him as I had anticipated. The first couple e played with were our best couple friends, we sort of seduced them but it didn't lead to anything problematic.

 

We've found tht couples you play with can sort of "feel" closer than "vanilla" friends but that seems natural and it hasn't risen to the point of being anything like a "poly" thing

At times I've felt like a couple of our guy friends were sort of like little brothers, or just brothers depending on the dynamic..

 

It can be hard to know where to compromise and where to perhaps look to be defensive... with me telling al this there's still so much left out no one could really make a judgement by reading tis.

 

In your online dealings too, as in real life you need a thick skin. Much of the time if someone gets upset it's usually an indicator of low sef esteem or being insecure, unsure of your partners commitment

 

I haven't seen any of those guys in years, one was killed in a job accident and my bud sounded terrible last time I saw him yearsw ago and seemed to be suffereing from heavy smoking. He was living out of state, I'm not sure if he's aound either. to you..

[ntx_partycouple 16]

For us, the whole point of swinging was to find friends that we could fuck.

 

 

Probably you found that if you fucked someone they became your friend, LOL

 

I think most people we've played with we would be fine with socially even if we only had did the one time thing.

[Kimasianwife 32]

I'm new to this but I wanna fuck my hubby friends. But today I finally sucked one them