Other woman wants to “date” my husband

[Blueeyed 17]

We recently had our first real swinging experience!! Full swap. Lots of fun, awkward and amazing. It poked at all our insecurities, but my husband and I were both surprised by how ok we were with it, and how much it turned up our connection, and desire for each other. So here’s where I keep getting hung up. She keeps asking to him to lunch, or coffee. Just him and her. Originally I thought it was fine, (pre full swap) and would help him be a little less awkward with her. But the fact that she keeps wanting to go out with him exclusively, has me a little bothered. I trust him 100% and he would tell her no if I asked him to. So I’m trying to figure out if this is an insecurity I need to work on. Is this kind of one on one dateing a normal thing for swinging couples?

[njbm 2,873]

Not normal. We meet swinging couple friends as a couple, even for vanilla events. The other person can get an idea to have sex, it is harder to say no if you’ve already had sex. But we wouldn’t put ourselves in that awkward position. But everyone would react differently, it’s up to you as a couple.

[the Nomads 78]

Yeah we ran into that in our first encounter and I covered it earlier on the forum. We found it weird due to the fact that we look at this as a couples adventure. Wondering what the other is doing and not being part of it isn’t any fun and therefore isn’t for us. We ended up with our first play time with a wonderful couple while traveling out of town. We are so interested in going back now. There are people who like the separate thing but we just found it wasn’t for us.

[Alura 2,774]

"That would be fun, Mrs. Plamate! I plan to practice riding bulls then. If you want to join me at that, Laura can have lunch with Mr. Playmate. Do you have your own spurs?

[Blueeyed 17]

Thanks everyone! ?

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

We have a hard rule that the women can get together and the men can get together or all of us can get together, but NO OTHER COMBINATIONS. Not two women and one guy, two guys and one woman, or one woman and one guy. Nothing good will ever come from it so we just avoid it.

[TwoFunTexans 103]

I'd hold off on separate stuff for a while until y'all are seasoned veterans of the ls.

[Numex 2,420]

We have a hard rule that the women can get together and the men can get together or all of us can get together, but NO OTHER COMBINATIONS. Not two women and one guy, two guys and one woman, or one woman and one guy. Nothing good will ever come from it so we just avoid it.

Gee, we're the exact opposite.

My wife and I, and the couples we play with do all of those combinations, both because we sometimes want to, but mostly for convenience. (Two of our play couples live nearby.) During the weekdays only some of us will be available to get together, so whoever wants to, can, there's no jealousy. Do you even do separate room play?

 

And we have also "dated". My wife and another husband wanted the four of us to have a couples swap one Saturday, but his wife and I wanted to go to an event they weren't interested in. So we each did what we wanted, he and my wife went to bed, his wife and I went out. What troubles you more, their alone fucking or the our dating?

[Guest]

We have graduated, if that's the correct word, to separate play as well as embracing emotional connections. The only way we can do this is knowing that nothing will replace our love for each other and definitely that nothing will affect our marriage. I don't think you are there yet. I introduced a friend to my husband when she was going through a divorce. Today, they date, they have sex, and I've even had her over to spend the night with my husband. I do play with her, but I have no problem sleeping in a separate room and listening to them lovin and fuckin on each other in the middle of the night. She adores him and that's okay. She also knows we are not changing our status as a married couple for her.

[couplers 4,648]

We have graduated, if that's the correct word, to separate play as well as embracing emotional connections. ... I introduced a friend to my husband when she was going through a divorce. Today, they date, they have sex, and I've even had her over to spend the night with my husband. I do play with her, but I have no problem sleeping in a separate room and listening to them lovin and fuckin on each other in the middle of the night. She adores him and that's okay. She also knows we are not changing our status as a married couple for her.

You are much like us, our poly family. Although it started with my husband and ex sharing me, hubby and I began dating women together. We quickly learned not to fear emotional connections and I discovered my Lesbian side. Although there are five of us, no one ever sleeps alone, unless he/she is very tired and wants to. It's twosomes and threesomes. The only thing that doesn't work is when us three women sleep together, the guys are both alone.