Pillow Talk, or much More?

[kyswinger70 15]

New guy to the boards. Here's the situation, and has me turned on. Maybe I'm reading into it, but this excites me. Over the weekend, while having sex, in the heat of the moment, I ask the wife if she needs bigger. In the past she always said it was just fine. This time, she was quite clear that she wished it was longer. I suspect that this was the case for a long time as I cannot make her cum. Before I came, I asked if her "boyfriend" gives her a better time, and she said, " oh yeah," or something like that. Later that day she made a passing comment about my fantasy of her being a hotwife, or a MFM. In hindsight, I should have just been blunt and told her what I'd like to do.

 

I have always felt my very vanilla wife has a slutty side and is a bit of a size queen. She has made comment that her ex was too small, and now I'm lumped into that category. As a background, we are both late 40's, almost empty nesters and fairly conservative.

 

I know the standard response will be for me to ask her about the topic outside the bedroom. But, taken at face value, are the size comments something that would indicate she's definitely on the same page, or even has her own fantasies?

[ViSexual 1,008]

It's very difficult to know. And if could, very well, backfire on you if you approach it the wrong way. My suggestion is, the next time it's brought up in the bedroom, ask her is she'd like to discuss it on a date over a nice dinner out. Now you can lead her into the conversation but make sure she's the one to take the reigns on the subject. Just remember to smile, nod affirmatively, and show that you're with her.

[MySexyWifeLPEhu 18]

Real Good advice. I would suggest more about A Sensual Cuckhold MFM Threesome. Tell her as far as MFM That this is the best type of threesomes and she is in Total control let her know it starts out you and New guy giving her a sensual massage so she can feel relaxed and comfortable with the new guy then after Sensual massage the new guy gets one on one action anywhere from 15-25 min's then you join in making it a threesome after awhile you get your 15minute Twosome then new guy comes back in for the 3some then second time around the new guy gets his last one on one with your wife anywhere from 25-35 min's depending but at this time you'll have time to watch and you were interested and very intrigued by Watching another man and her so she can get a feel of it too. See this would be perfect way and not too pushy but can be extremely hot and hopefully you'll let her dictate Everything from then on and be encouraging and let her know you're cool with whatever she wants hopefully this will open the doors.

[lcmim 1,082]

Real Good advice. I would suggest more about A Sensual Cuckhold MFM Threesome. Tell her as far as MFM That this is the best type of threesomes and she is in Total control let her know it starts out you and New guy giving her a sensual massage so she can feel relaxed and comfortable with the new guy then after Sensual massage the new guy gets one on one action anywhere from 15-25 min's then you join in making it a threesome after awhile you get your 15minute Twosome then new guy comes back in for the 3some then second time around the new guy gets his last one on one with your wife anywhere from 25-35 min's depending but at this time you'll have time to watch and you were interested and very intrigued by Watching another man and her so she can get a feel of it too. See this would be perfect way and not too pushy but can be extremely hot and hopefully you'll let her dictate Everything from then on and be encouraging and let her know you're cool with whatever she wants hopefully this will open the doors.

 

OR

Instead of a detailed script, just go with the flow.

 

Starting out scripted leave too much room for disappointment, perhaps irritation if things go off script.

 

Starting out with both sharing her AND Cuckplay sounds like a possibly dangerous mixture.

 

We started with the third knowing that I was on board and that whatever SHE said was law. It was very clear he was the guest and that I would back her up. He is another married guy, whose wife had signed off ,with us on the threesome . He understood where we were coming from and understood. We all had a great time.

[adamgunn 1,460]

She's talking about it; that's a good thing. Whether it's just bedroom play or she's actually thinking about it may be discovered, but it will take a long time. You'll need to be very patient.

 

I would suggest you visit mojo upgrade . com to see where she is coming from, and what fantasies you two have in common. Keep engaging her fantasies, minimize your own. You're entering a very interesting phase, enjoy the ride.

[Wornsilver 219]

I totally agree with Adamgunn. You are in the very early stages, and she may have said those things just to turn you on, to be the best wife. Not because she really wanted to entertain those activities. Jumping to an actual MFM is a terrific leap...not warranted by what she said during sex at all, IMO.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

It sounds like you have been asking and so she is starting to play along. Playing along however is NOT the same thing as wanting it to happen. Just keep moving forward and work towards being able to talk with her as to if this is just playing along, a fantasy, or something that she wouldn't mind having fulfilled. Bottom line is if you don't feel like you can talk to her about this, then neither of you are ready to take that next step. Work on that first.

[MySexyWifeLPEhu 18]

Not scripted just one idea to go on anyone can do or change it up to fit there needs just was giving him an idea plus I have planned sex before I'm just so sexually mentally game on mode I can easily seduce or be as Sensual as I want or mentally weak or strong

[lcmim 1,082]

Not scripted just one idea to go on anyone can do or change it up to fit there needs just was giving him an idea plus I have planned sex before I'm just so sexually mentally game on mode I can easily seduce or be as Sensual as I want or mentally weak or strong

 

I can see how for you or maybe even me that would be a loose, infinitely alterable framework. I was just imagining how that might work out if someone without much experience tried to follow it as something more structured.

 

I will stick with my caveat about mixing cuckplay and MFM the first time out unless that is a specific fantasy. That could be a lot to digest at one time.

[agreatguy 269]

I don't agree with trying to have that discussion during sex. Sure, have the fantasy all you want and play with it but have the discussion at a different time. It sounds like she tried to have it when you say she brought it up later in the day. That's a positive.

 

I would suggest that next time it comes up during sex just go with it like normal but sit her down within 24 hours, if she doesn't bring it up again first, and ask the question. "You've made some comments about MFM and hotwifing, is this something you have a real interest in exploring? I don't want to do anything to hurt us but I want to do whatever it is that fulfills your desires and I do find it a turn on too." Or word it to that effect in whatever way sound like you. If she does make another passing comment then seize the opportunity and just ask if it's something she really is interested in. She'll probably take it from there.

 

I do think that beyond asking that question and making that statement you shouldn't script anything else. Put it out there for discussion and let her know how you feel. You have to be OK with and accept whatever answer she gives you. If she says she's fine with how things are then let her know you love her more than anything and you just needed to know. Drop it unless she has questions. The risk, provided you have a good relationship, is that the fantasy games may cease, at least for a while. However, she may bring it up again at some point. If she responds favorably or brings it up later, let her tell you what she wants. Ask how she might see it playing out, both in the lifestyle and in your life. Let her write the script after that and enjoy being one of the characters. If it ever gets to be too much then tell her what you need. Be just as willing to hear her.

 

As you get more experience and you both find out what turns you on you can then start writing some scripts if that's something she might like.

[Guest]

I would say, be careful......

 

I have dated various women who get really horny / sexually aroused when I speak about other men in bed.

 

That me and ex girlfriends would be in bed having sex and I'd start speaking about handsome hunky guys with big dicks fucking her, I'd ask how she would feel pushing her hands into a new guys pants and feeling a nice hard 9 inch cock in her hand. I have tried all the "Dirty Talk" in bed and honestly the vast majority of women I have dated have responded REALLY WELL, and have had great orgasms whilst they imagine fucking hot sexy random men.

 

HOWEVER.....

 

When actually asked about this subject OUT OF THE BEDROOM, when I have simply asked about making that fantasy a reality, then a lot of the women have said NO / become offended / become defensive. Several women have become very upset with me indeed for asking them to have threesomes with other guys (even though they love talking about other guys whilst we have sex) and think one of the main reasons they have become offended is because this other man actually represents a danger to them, in other words the women I'm dating assumes that I want another man, that I'm secretly gay, that she is not enough for me, that I really want to run away with another man.

 

Obviously I don't want to run away with another man but it doesn't stop the girl I'm dating suddenly getting paranoid about that. I have even had a few girls basically say "I like talking about it but I'd not want to see YOU anywhere near another naked man" or in other words "Yeah I like the idea of fucking another guy, I would enjoy fucking another man, I find the idea exciting, but I'd not want YOU to be getting any fun, I'd not want YOU anywhere near the subject or else you would run away, cheat, or turn gay" Which is all total nonsense and fairly ones sided but sure women have said that kind of stuff to me.

 

 

I don't know it just seems some women really go "Get Off" on talking about fucking other men in bed, but talking about it and actually doing it are to very different things and sure I have dated various women who do get really horny talking about it, but then totally freak out when asked to make it a reality.

 

 

My advice would be.....

 

Take things very slowly.

 

I think a lot of guys (me included) jump to the natural / logical conclusion that if my wife / girlfriend is happy to speak other guys whilst we fuck. That if my wife / girlfriend gets horny speaking about other guys dicks, about fucking bigger dicks, about meeting hot sexy guys for sex, then SHE MUST REALLY WANT THAT!!!!

 

Sadly that is not actually true.

 

I'm a little unsure how to explain this but basically lets say that YOU like the idea of riding a bike, okay does that mean tomorrow your going to buy the best bike in the shop and race in the Olympic Games?

 

Say that you really like the idea of buying a fast car, okay does that mean that tomorrow your going to buy a super expensive fast car and take part in one of the worlds fastest professional races?

 

Maybe you like the idea of playing tennis, does that mean that tomorrow your going to play in the world championship tennis game?

 

 

I think a lot of men simply think...

 

Hey my wife enjoyed talking about fucking another guy > That means she wants to fuck another guy.

 

Sure I can TALK about buying a pair of ice skates, but that doesn't actually mean I want to dive straight in the deep end and be the worlds best figure skater by tomorrow, or next week, or next year.

 

If you think about professional cyclists, like the cyclists who compete in the Olympic Games, well what happens?

 

- The person has an interest in cycling.

- They begin to read about the subject and do some research.

- They perhaps find some friends who also like cycling.

- They buy a cheap bike and try it out.

- They maybe join a local biking team.

- They enjoy the hobby so they become more focused.

- They begin to learn how to repair their bike.

- They order biking magazines and join cycling forums.

- They learn about new modifications that will help their performance.

- They take part in a few local competitions and do fairly well.

- They go out and buy a much better top of the range bike.

- They join a much better more professional team.

- They spend the next 5 years practising virtually everyday.

- They achieve some great wins with their current team.

- Then after a lot of effort they are invited to the Olympic Games.

 

 

 

There are a LOT of stages between that person been interested in bikes to them competing in the Olympic Games.

 

However men often think....

 

My wife enjoyed talking about fucking another guy > That means she WANTS to fuck another guy, that means she wants to go straight to the Olympic Games, straight to the Superbowl.

 

In the alphabet you don't just from (A) straight to (Z)

 

 

What does all that mean?

 

 

Well basically it means take your time, some examples would be:

 

 

1: Talk More: When your in bed / having sex with your wife speak with her more about fucking other guys, try more dirty talk first, tell her that YOU enjoy that fantasy, you enjoy that idea.

 

2: Porn: If possible try watching some pron films together, in other words threesome porn films. However I would monitor these porn films yourself before showing your wife. For example some women would prefer a softer more romantic threesome, other women would prefer a very rough hard sexual encounter. Say for example your wife HATES anal sex then don't watch threesome videos that contain anal sex. If your wife would enjoy a more romantic experience then watch threesome films that are more passionate and slow, if she would prefer clean cut tall guys then aim for threesome films with clean cut tall guys, or maybe she would prefer a surfer dude type with long hair. In other words watch porn films about threesomes, that are the type of men / threesomes that she would actually like.

 

3: Films: If porn would be to strong then there are various films that do contain threesome scenes. I would avoid watching films that are totally based around having a threesome (there are a few out there) but the majority of which will have a bad ending to the subject, instead just find the films that contain a simple 30 second threesome scene and isn't totally based around that. Watch them together.

 

4: Sex Toys: If you haven't already then order about 4 or 5 different sex toys / dildo's of various sizes and designs. Be prepared to spend some real money, don't buy cheap bargain packs / cheap sex toy sets / actually buy really good quality dildo's, and buy 3 or 4 different makes / brands. Try using these sex toys in bed, for now this dildo can be used to represent another man.

 

5: Be More Vocal: In the past me and ex partners have been sat watching films and I'd make a comment such as "Who would you rather fuck, Vin Diesel or Tom Cruise? Who do you think has the biggest dick, Sylvester Stallone or Arnold Schwarzenegger? Make talking about other men and sex a more natural thing, you don't just have to focus on these people fucking your wife you just have to get your wife use to talking about other men and sex in general.

 

6: Books: You could buy a few books about swinging / threesomes, like advice books and simply read them or make them available for your wife to read. If she asks whee they came from just say "Oh I noticed it in the bookstore or on Amazon and thought it might be interesting, we sometimes talk about other guys in bed and thought it might be good to learn a little about the subject" or something along those lines.

 

7: Promote Team Work: Focus on working with your partner as a team, this could be working better as a team to clean the house, playing board games where you work together, playing a new sport or even computer game together, learning to cook new meals together. For example once every few weeks watch a cookery program on YouTube and try to cook the new meal together. Watch a cookery program and say "Hey shall we try and cook that together? You want to help? Which will help promote team working. If you can work together on other subject its more likely you can work together in a threesome.

 

 

WHEN YOU DO ASK.....

 

When you do decide to ask your wife about actually trying a threesome then:

 

1: Away From Home: I have found it helps greatly if you ask your partner about threesomes when you are out of the house / away from home. This can be a difficult task because a lot of women will become really freaked out if you start talking about group sex in public, in other words you have to make sure its somewhere very private, for example go into the country for a picnic date / go for a hike in the country / go to the large local park where you can find a private place to sit where there is no one else around, failing all of that sit in your own garden.

 

I find asking your partner about group sex in your own house can have a negative effect, if your wife reacts very badly to the suggestion then suddenly your living room isn't your living room anymore, your living room is now the living room where YOU the pervert asked her to fuck other men. Also the home has various other negative effects, say for example you ask your wife to consider fucking another man / to have a threesome but at the time your house is a bit messy, then your partner will suddenly begin to think about cleaning the house, I mean how can we have a threesome in this dump? How can we fuck someone else when our house is messy?

 

The house also brings out a natural sense of security in people, or in other words a lot of people want to protect their home, a lot of people want to keep strangers away from their home, yet your sat there in your house asking your wife to invite total strangers into the house and to fuck them as well. A lot of people can have a adverse effect, they will say "You want total bloody strangers to come into our house and fuck me? That is really dangerous, that will put our home at risk, put our family at risk, that is bad"

 

Just my experience but I have found speaking away from the house on neutral ground actually helps, just as long as there is no one else in hearing range. Basically it would be best to be somewhere outside that is totally private, or in other words if you can SEE another person then its the wrong place. Generally I have asked ex partners to take a walk in the local park and then sat down to discuss the subject, its easy to find a private bit of grass and throw out a picnic blanket on the floor and basically have your conversation there, well away from other people, so no one else could hear.

 

 

2: Safety: Be WELL prepared to answer a variety of safety questions, some of which are difficult to answer. But on a lot of occasions when asked to consider a threesome your partner will instantly fire off some very difficult questions such as:

 

- What happens if we ended up catching an STD?

- How would we know this man we meet doesn't have an STD?

- What happens if we fucked another guy and I ended up pregnant?

- What happens if this man turned out to be dangerous?

- What happens if this man became obsessed with me and became a stalker?

- What happens if this man turns out to be a liar and cheater?

- What happens if this man turns out to be a hard drug user or criminal?

- What happens if this man actually knows our other friends or family members?

- What the hell happens if our friends and family find out we have been fucking someone else?

- What happens if our child's school find out we have been fucking random people?

- What happens if the neighbours find out we have been fucking other men?

- What happens if feelings begin to grow?

- What happens if you get jealous and freak out?

 

- The list goes on.....

 

 

The point been you need to be prepared to face a lot of safety concerns and security styled questions. I have found the BEST WAY to handle this is actually to answer the questions BEFORE your partner has chance to even ask them, for example you can say something like....

 

"Well if we did meet another man then we could ask him directly about when he was last sexually screened for STD'S and could even request that he gets checked out, plus we could stay on top of it ourselves and I would be happy to go in for regular check ups. We could also use condoms until a point we felt comfy enough with this person, and obviously we could keep a close eye on this person to actually see if they were showing any of the signs or symptoms of an STD, but yes overall we could keep a very close eye on that subject and could get checked on a regular basis"

 

"I thought if we met another man then we could invite him over in the evening, we could lock the doors, close the curtains, dim the lights, and even put the catch on the bedroom door meaning NO ONE would be able to see a thing. No one would walk in on us / no one can see through solid brick walls / that we would be in total privacy / and I also promise 100% that I'd not tell a single soul meaning our family or friends would never find out unless you told them. We could do this in a safe and private way"

 

It might not be ideal but generally I try to think of what security concerns my partner might have and then try to formulate a speech that actually covers those points before they have chance to ask. In many cases I can sit a partner down on some sunny field for a simple picnic and within 5 minutes talking can have answered 50% of their worries without them even having to ask.

 

However it helps if you have the answers ready in your mind. On asking your partner its very likely that they will have concerns, YOU need to answer those concerns in a clear and confident manor, for example my partner could say....

 

- Yeah we could fuck another man and what the hell would happen if I got pregnant and we didn't know who's baby it was?

 

A lot of men who are unprepared would say "Eeerrrrrr, eerrrr, well, eerrrrr, I guess we would just have to deal with it"

 

They would become nervous, they would act unsure, break eye contact and so on.

 

Really I'd keep a smile on my face, I'd not even act phased by the question and would say something along the lines of....

 

"Well in all fairness he could use a condom, and we could back that up with proper contraception from the doctors"

 

 

I'd give a positive and direct answer which will help settle your partners worries.

 

 

 

3: Not Cheating: I think another good thing to be prepared for is to fully explain to your partner that this subject is NOT about cheating. Often when you ask a new partner to explore a threesome they will instantly jump to all of the bad conclusions, such as....

 

- It would be cheating.

- You don't want me anymore.

- Your secretly gay and want to run away with another man.

- Your bored of me sexually and want to leave me.

- If we fucked someone else we would break up.

 

The base question you will often get us WHY DO YOU WANT TO DO THIS?

 

It can actually be a hard question to answer, a lot of people will naturally assume the worst reasons which you need to counter act with good / honest / positive reasons and explanations.

 

 

 

I better go because its getting late but one thing that did jump out at me about your post is you basically saying your dicks not big enough for your wife, well basically wanting a man with a bigger dick to fuck your wife just because you think yours isn't big enough isn't the best reason to swing.

 

What are you going to say to your wife? My dicks not big enough so lets meet a man who's dick is big enough.

 

I'd start by asking yourself if a threesome is something YOU WANT or something you simply think your wife needs because you doubt yourself.

 

Would you enjoy seeing another man fuck your wife, and if so why? Your answer can not be, because my wife needs a bigger dick.