Are we just Sluts?

[ncalfuncpl 20]

Reading the forums everyone is looking for the perfect couple to date.

 

I have been in the LS for many years on and off always looking for the perfect couple.

 

My current Girlfriend and now long term SO I brought into the lifestyle, we have a different outlook.

 

We have 4 rules:

 

1. Both have Veto power (the only time this came in play we both wanted to use it)

2. No Anal (this is our special thing together)

3. Use condoms (Well we try both have broken this rule)

4. We always go home together (biggest rule, have sex together and discuss what happened)

 

We have found rather than long conversations, we like Hot tub hookups, playroom hookups...just sex.

 

A month or so ago We were asking at the nude resort if anyone turned in flip flops to the lost and found, the receptionist ask "You guys had fun last night, what where their names?" Lisa came back with "We don't ask those kind of questions"

 

Last Weekend we were at a private party, hooked up with several people in the play room, at the end of the night they wanted to give us their SLS name...I was nice put it in my phone, then didn't save it, didn't care

 

We want to have fun sex, not date these people.

 

Are we just Sluts?

[adamgunn 1,460]

Hey, do what you want. As long as you treat your partners with respect, it'll be fine.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

You seem to be saying 'sluts' like it is a bad thing...

 

Back when terrorism was more of an every day occurrence I used to joke that instead of going to Muslim heaven and getting 98 virgins, I would much rather have 3 or 4 real slutty girls. That way no training was involved.

[padoc 1,703]

I think its 72 virgins but there's another plus with the sluts…..you don't have to blow up first to get them. Having experienced a few virgins back in high school (what Billy Joel sings about catholic girls isn't exactly true) I don't see what the fuss is all about. Experienced girls were much more fun, the slutty ones even more so. The last house party we attended my wife had 4 different guys and blew 2 others. Recounting it on the way home she laughingly said, "honey, I'm such a slut". My response was, "yep, and I'm SO proud of you"!

[Guest]

Not necessarily in the context of your question but I do feel like became a slut as part of swinging. Maybe I was partially already there or at least moving in that direction but when you start meeting people, talking to them for an hour or so and then having sex with them, that seems like being one. Knock that hour or hour and a half down to just 20 minutes, and, well, I think we’ve arrived. No second thoughts here, the whole experience has been great fun and given me more self-confidence in dealing with men and women.

 

More to the question, our rules are just slightly more simple then yours and really, we have sex with a couple (swap) or MFM with a guy and part ways. The only time we really see them again is if it was at one of the local couples clubs and they happen to be there when we make our next random visit. Friendships haven’t developed with any of these folks. Maybe because of that, we have moved more to doing things with friends, more so on the MFM side, not so much with other couples.

[adamgunn 1,460]

Some times I feel like a slut, sometimes I don't . . .

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Some times I feel like a slut, sometimes I don't . . .

Wish I'd thought to say that.

[EastInWest 1,524]

I think the percentage of people who genuinely have no interest in casual, promiscuous sex is vanishingly small and can largely be chalked up to hormone imbalances.

 

The number of people who believe they cannot admit to their interest, or who believe they could never "get away with it", is quite large, and I suspect most people who appear to have very boring vanilla sex lives also have quite a few secrets. Sex is a huge psychological outlet.

 

In my single days, it wasn't uncommon to have 3+ women in rotation, all of whom were with other men. Some were honest about it, some weren't. One married woman who was heavily involved in her church would tell me about how she and a mutual friend used to pick up guys at bars and have same-room sex until neighbors called the police. When the mutual friend found out her friend was getting properly fucked at my place, she was texting me as soon as we broke it off, and not only didn't care that I was seeing other women, sometimes the same day, but was turned on by it. After we were done, she moved on to getting regular spit-roasts from two roommates before settling down.

 

They both seemed like very gentle-minded vanilla girls at first glance, and became ordinary, traditional mothers. It wasn't until they felt like they knew I wouldn't judge that they started blurting out bits and pieces of the true stories spouses often don't get told. Point is, everybody can be "slutty". Some people are just honest about it depending on their impulse toward shame and rule-following. Others keep it compartmentalized from their "real" lives. I think it's healthier to own it.

[Numex 2,416]

.We have 4 rules:

 

1. Both have Veto power (the only time this came in play we both wanted to use it)

I would think that we do, but nothing I can think of is out of bounds, so it's never been used.

 

2. No Anal (this is our special thing together)

Anal for us isn't special. My wife and I consider it further down the list than blowjobs, dick in pussy, or even kissing. My wife probably does it more with other guys than me. I do anal with other women, but much prefer pussy.

 

3 Use condoms (Well we try both have broken this rule)

We've gone a different route and only play within a closed group of couples. We never use condoms; we all prefer having the cum flow into the women.

 

4.We always go home together (biggest rule, have sex together and discuss what happened).

Usually we do, but when one of us within our group, including my wife and me, is travelling we will sometimes spend the night with one or more from our group.

 

..

Are we just Sluts?

Probably. But it doesn't matter what you call it, it's just one of many variations of what goes on here.

[adamgunn 1,460]

"I think the percentage of people who genuinely have no interest in casual, promiscuous sex is vanishingly small and can largely be chalked up to hormone imbalances."

 

I would disagree, particularly for people who are married and mature. I know many married couples who wouldn't stray even if their most favorite fantasy person were to lie naked before them. Oh, I'm sure those people fantasize, but they would never, ever take the first step to adultery. And I believe those people are in the majority. People like me are somewhat rare.

 

But a lot of those people like me inhabit this board!

[EastInWest 1,524]

adamgunn said:

"I think the percentage of people who genuinely have no interest in casual, promiscuous sex is vanishingly small and can largely be chalked up to hormone imbalances."

 

I would disagree, particularly for people who are married and mature. I know many married couples who wouldn't stray even if their most favorite fantasy person were to lie naked before them. Oh, I'm sure those people fantasize, but they would never, ever take the first step to adultery. And I believe those people are in the majority. People like me are somewhat rare.

 

Let me clarify, though, that this is exactly what I meant: if it's a fantasy, you have at least some interest, even though you'd never act on it. Adultery doesn't have to play into it at all.

 

My point is only that it's more common than anyone would want to admit for both spouses to pretend they are (or used to be) something they aren't (or weren't) in order to protect their partner, all the way down to one night stands where the woman feels compelled to establish her chastity to a guy she just met and is never going to see again.

 

"Gosh, I never do this!"

 

...and if it ever gets back to her future husband, plenty of perfectly loving and trustworthy wives will indignantly insist that same one night stand never happened and take it the grave.

 

An old South Park episode, "Sexual Healing", had a lot of fun with this. The plot was that the wives, seeing the headlines about Tiger Woods, Charlie Sheen, and David Letterman, angrily confront their husbands and demand to know why wealthy, famous men keep trying to have sex with so many women. With no married man willing to admit that they're doing it because it's fun, they play along that it's a mystery, and the panic escalates until Barack Obama, also unwilling to admit the truth in front of Michelle, stages an elaborate hoax blaming an epidemic of sex addiction on space aliens:

 

Find the Wizard Alien - Video Clip | South Park Studios

 

Swinging isn't for everyone, but it also skips over a lot of the polite fictions about sex that are almost obligatory in typical vanilla relationships in a way that I suspect would take a lot of stress off many vanilla couples if they were prepared to handle it.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

...almond joy has sluts, mounds don't

[lovefest04 699]

A slut a day helps keep the doctor away.

 

I do want to clarify. I never thought the word "slut" in this context, among consenting partners was a negative. I use it with my wife as a term of endearment. I know men have always been able to strut their 'Don Juan' ways with pride and I want women to be able to do the same. To be a slut is to be open, experimental, to own ones sexuality. Women should wear the moniker with pride.

[asslickerdiane 15]

My ex b/f got me started on doing groups of guys (Sometimes for money). I'm proud to be called a slut. Being called filthy disgusting names actually excites me.

[Numex 2,416]

... To be a slut is to be open, experimental, to own ones sexuality. Women should wear the moniker with pride.

Exactly as my wife sees it. In the appropriate circumstances she also refers to herself as a cunt. She tries to own those words. But she never refers to herself as a pussy, that's for wimpy men.

[EastInWest 1,524]

A slut a day helps keep the doctor away.

 

I do want to clarify. I never thought the word "slut" in this context, among consenting partners was a negative. I use it with my wife as a term of endearment. I know men have always been able to strut their 'Don Juan' ways with pride and I want women to be able to do the same. To be a slut is to be open, experimental, to own ones sexuality. Women should wear the moniker with pride.

 

I agree with this. "Slutty" is a normal personality trait/behavior that gets indulged. Just because I'll sometimes spend lavishly on a delicious meal doesn't mean I'm a generally wasteful person. Fun and stimulation are an important part of life.

 

Kind of related, but a little bit ago, there was a scandal on our little street when a neighbor had to throw her younger husband out because, to put it simply, everything he had ever said was a crazy lie. Not just about sex, but money and more.

 

Mrs. E and the neighbor, a middle-aged professional, have been having dinner regularly since for girl talk time.

 

She's has been wasting no time. She didn't just line up a fuck buddy, she's on a rotation of five regulars now. Her car is never in her driveway on weekends because she's away doing her thing on Match and Tinder. I'm sure she'll settle back down and won't even tell her next husband about even 10% of this, but for now, she's having a blast with it.

 

So last night Mrs. E was explaining this to me and it came with a generic "can you believe that, so shocking" footnote. It clicked with me that even with everything we've gotten up to and talked about, she still has a hard time making the rest of the connection that it's completely normal.

 

"Wait, she likes to fuck. How is that shocking? So do we."

 

The five seconds of confused silence were priceless.

[extrafun69 16]

You have a right to live your way.

[njbm 2,871]

My ex b/f got me started on doing groups of guys (Sometimes for money). I'm proud to be called a slut. Being called filthy disgusting names actually excites me.

 

Wouldn’t that be prostitution? I think that one could be arrested for that. Not judging among consenting adults, just don’t get caught in a sting operation or you will be going downtown.

[adamgunn 1,460]

"You have a right to live your way." . . . As long as you don't hurt anyone

[njbm 2,871]

"You have a right to live your way." . . . As long as you don't hurt anyone

 

Philosophically, I agree. Legally, the poster would have a problem.

[JessicaJamison 861]

On 3/7/2019 at 2:33 AM, ncalfuncpl said:

Are we just Sluts?

Honestly does it matter?  You want what you want.  And if you are a slut, I promise you I am a slut too.  Cause I fuck a lot of one and done's, and I mean a lot.