Man is too big for my wife

[njbm 2,872]

We are friends with a couple who were among our earliest lifestyle friends. We like them very much. However, their husband is 6’3” with a huge penis. My wife is 4’9”, 93 lbs., never had a baby. He is too big for her. No amount of lube will help. We want to remain friends. How do you tell him nicely!

[njbm 2,872]

Update: my wife says she would perform oral on him. If I played with the wife, I have no problem downshifting to soft swap if ok with them.

[CB&DD 218]

Just explain it to him like you did here. Don't think any guy on the face of the Earth is going to be offended by being told his penis is too big. Btw, send him DDs way, she's yet to come across one too thick, long yeah, but never too thick. Lol

[Emt 91]

I ran this very issue past the OBGYN I network with/refer to. The solution.... dilators. Normally you use dilators when a female has vaginismus and needs to work on the pelvic muscles relaxing. They are not for masturbation. You insert them and leave it in for 10-15min. a few days a week. You graduate up in size until reaching the desired girth. The OBGYN said this was a good idea to use them for a penis that was too large as well. But it'll only help with adjusting for girth. Won't do anything to stop depth/cervix pounding. Rings can be used to help this.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

I’m curious. Is her discomfort owing to too much stretching of the vaginal canal? Or is it rather pounding of her cervix?

[PSULioness 857]

It is funny that there are so many posts about large penises. Some women are attracted to them, others fear them. When I was dating I always thought I needed a larger one because I felt I was not tight. Without measuring guys they were all about within 2 inches of each other. Sure some were fatter or more wide than others. When we started going to parties I was really able to see the differences in guys. One of my friends bought a guy to a party who looked very large. Sure there were jokes. Some of my friends just wanted to touch it. To me I figured that my friend who brought was much smaller than me and she must be having sex with him. If she could, I could. And I did with no problem. It proves your anatomy adapts to size.

[njbm 2,872]

I’m curious. Is her discomfort owing to too much stretching of the vaginal canal? Or is it rather pounding of her cervix?

 

I will certainly ask her and get back, but what would be the significance of one place over the other?

[Emt 91]

I will certainly ask her and get back, but what would be the significance of one place over the other?

 

Not sure if you had a chance to read my post but again the dilators can assist with girth/"stretching"...cervix pounding is a different issue with different options. Both can be undesired/painful.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

I will certainly ask her and get back, but what would be the significance of one place over the other?

If the end of the man’s erect penis is touching her cervix, she could ask him to put it in just a little.

[njbm 2,872]

The answer is vaginal. She said it would be like me putting three baseballs side by side in my mouth.

 

Thank you for the stretching idea, but I think she would rather play with small, normal and above average guys. The problem is sometimes you don’t find out till it’s too late. We try to broach the subject in our vetting process in person.

[Emt 91]

The answer is vaginal. She said it would be like me putting three baseballs side by side in my mouth.

 

Thank you for the stretching idea, but I think she would rather play with small, normal and above average guys. The problem is sometimes you don’t find out till it’s too late. We try to broach the subject in our vetting process in person.

 

Oh ok. No problem with setting boundaries/limits. I honestly missed the part in the OP where you just asked how to communicate it to him. Seems like you both already have talked about the next suggestion which would be the "downshift" you speak of. Plenty of options that don't involve vaginal intercourse. 2 hands, mouth, toys, etc. If they really are friends this shouldn't be a huge deal breaker or lead to any level of drama. The LS is about exploring but respecting boundaries right?

[eruditesdw 29]

We are friends with a couple who were among our earliest lifestyle friends. We like them very much. However, their husband is 6’3” with a huge penis. My wife is 4’9”, 93 lbs., never had a baby. He is too big for her. No amount of lube will help. We want to remain friends. How do you tell him nicely!

... Had the same problem with a nice friend. Wife was always sore. I ask him to try and cum fast and not do it for 45 minutes. Soon as wife cum he cum a minute later and all is well.

[Bluespruce1 706]

When we first started out swinging, I was very tight and used to my husband. Although I had a boyfriend years back that was huge, my pussy definitely wasn’t able to handle bigger guys who wanted to pound away. It helped if my husband or a smaller guy would do me first and get me nice and wet. I also have an 8” vibrator that I can use to loosen up although it’s not very thick. In order to take a big thick cock, I would make him work on the outside until he could get the head inside me. I would push his hips away if he entered too fast. If he got impatient it was over. After a couple of minutes Inwas able to take 7 or 8 thick inches. It’s also easier from behind. Slow is the name of the game and unfortunately most guys with big cocks want to slam away. I’m fine with it now but it took a while to get there.

[Guest]

I am 5’2”, 105 pounds and not at all wide hips. We had MFM with a guy and his dick turned out to be huge, my husband estimated it at close to 9” and, having been a carpenter, he’s pretty good at those kinds of estimates. Anyway, I found the size to be quite exciting, performed oral on it for a while but then wanted to try it. Admittedly it took him a while to work it in, he did so very slowly and gently but any pain it caused was much closer to pleasure. I found it totally exciting once he got things going with it. No fit issues at all.

[lisacarroll 16]

My problem recently. Had a "pleasant surprise" with a first time lover...We tried & tried...then I found my tube of numbing cream. (A squirt internally solved the pain)...Thicker lube (inside and outside) solved the tight fit...

 

So we continued & finished...more than several times!!! Entry was so much easier from behind, rather than face to face. We even thought I squirted for the first time ever...till the next AM....

 

Picture this: a virgin's wedding night from "A Nightmare on Elm Street"!!! We had to use peroxide & laundry pre-spotter, so we could leave the "crime scene" without worrying about having to wear REAL cuffs & cumming up with realtime bail money!!!

[Emt 91]

My problem recently. Had a "pleasant surprise" with a first time lover...We tried & tried...then I found my tube of numbing cream. (A squirt internally solved the pain)...Thicker lube (inside and outside) solved the tight fit...

 

So we continued & finished...more than several times!!! Entry was so much easier from behind, rather than face to face. We even thought I squirted for the first time ever...till the next AM....

 

Picture this: a virgin's wedding night from "A Nightmare on Elm Street"!!! We had to use peroxide & laundry pre-spotter, so we could leave the "crime scene" without worrying about having to wear REAL cuffs & cumming up with realtime bail money!!!

 

Any issues the next day?

 

Finding a position of comfort and using plenty of lube is a great idea! However, those numbing creams can reek havoc on lady bits. Internal pain is the body's way of saying something's wrong. This applies to anal play as well.

[Guest sdsevits]

The answer is vaginal. She said it would be like me putting three baseballs side by side in my mouth.

 

Thank you for the stretching idea, but I think she would rather play with small, normal and above average guys. The problem is sometimes you don’t find out till it’s too late. We try to broach the subject in our vetting process in person.

 

I am sorry about the discomfort your wife had with this friend. Just nicely explain the situation and I am sure he will understand. I myself am only average size and probably more to your wifes liking, however I am single and have no partner. Best of luck in your endeavors.