22 year old single male looking to get into the lifestyle

[Erik2019 15]

Hey all , what’s up ? I’ve always liked the idea of swinging , but I’ve not dated a girl that was interested and I’m single now so I’m just looking for some tips as to where I might get started and how to find a girl that is single but into the SwingLifeStyle! Thanks all info is appreciated!

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

I see that this is your first Swingersboard post so let me say WELCOME to the board. I’ll recommend the same to you that I recommend to any single men —get out to see and to be seen. The way to find men-n-greet events is to sign up at a Web site like SLS and look into the ‘Groups’ listings. There are even party groups that welcome single men such as Florida Treehouse. Expect no result from simply sending SLS messages. Unless you have a body like Fabio, messaging will only frustrate you.

[Erik2019 15]

Thank you!

[Guest sdsevits]

I see that this is your first Swingersboard post so let me say WELCOME to the board. I’ll recommend the same to you that I recommend to any single men —get out to see and to be seen. The way to find men-n-greet events is to sign up at a Web site like SLS and look into the ‘Groups’ listings. There are even party groups that welcome single men such as Florida Treehouse. Expect no result from simply sending SLS messages. Unless you have a body like Fabio, messaging will only frustrate you.

 

Are you saying that if a single male isn't built like a Greek god they have no hope or chance of success in the LS? Seems kind of shallow doesn't it because I bet single women don't have to look like a supermodel to me accepted. To me that is a huge double standard don't you think. I am 52 and have an average build with a few extra pounds but am HWP. Guess I would have no chance at all if I wanted to join the LS. I personally don't judge people based on outward appearance because appearances can be very deceiving. I prefer to make my determination based on the heart and soul of a person.

[adamgunn 1,460]

sdsevits, I don't think that's what SWPA Couple was saying at all.

 

For single men, trying to get into the LifeStyle is a very uphill road. Greek gods do get preference. Others can be successful if they are respectful and very, very patient. The good ones want to enhance an existing marriage, not find a relationship - and those are few. The mental outlook is all important, and a decent (but not great) looking man is not at a significant disadvantage.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Are you saying that if a single male isn't built like a Greek god they have no hope or chance of success in the LS? Seems kind of shallow doesn't it because I bet single women don't have to look like a supermodel to me accepted. To me that is a huge double standard don't you think. I am 52 and have an average build with a few extra pounds but am HWP. Guess I would have no chance at all if I wanted to join the LS. I personally don't judge people based on outward appearance because appearances can be very deceiving. I prefer to make my determination based on the heart and soul of a person.

No.

[Guest sdsevits]

No.

 

Ok, thank you. I always thought the LS was open to people of all shapes and sizes. The end of your comment to the young man had me thinking otherwise.

[the Nomads 78]

Are you saying that if a single male isn't built like a Greek god they have no hope or chance of success in the LS? Seems kind of shallow doesn't it because I bet single women don't have to look like a supermodel to me accepted. To me that is a huge double standard don't you think. I am 52 and have an average build with a few extra pounds but am HWP. Guess I would have no chance at all if I wanted to join the LS. I personally don't judge people based on outward appearance because appearances can be very deceiving. I prefer to make my determination based on the heart and soul of a person.

 

Here is what I've found in the lifestyle first and foremost. When making a connection with a complete stranger in a club or house party you have to establish that spark. Often times people are turned on by the appearance of another person. Thats why I put on my nicest clothes, trim my beard, and even use some aftershave or cologne which I almost never do otherwise. You must give people a reason to approach you. You state that appearances are deceiving and I've heard that line several times. Do you know why some people think appearances are deceiving? Because they attribute the wrong characteristics to someone's physical appearance. If I see a blonde woman 5'9" 115lbs rocking a gorgeous miniskirt I don't assume she has a nice personality or is adventurous. I don't expect that she is highly intelligent or intellectually shallow. The most I would assume is that she takes care of her body and she is confident in her appearance and even then that is just a hypothesis until getting to know her further. So appearances aren't deceiving they are simply limited in the information that they are providing. That doesn't make them any less important in this hobby. For some of us myself included I am not HWP. I'm 6'6" and 360lbs. By all definitions I am overweight. However I'm also extremely outgoing and will soon make my way to the center of a group. I am knowledgeable in many diverse topics and enjoy a good joke. I like to dance and find a reason to compliment almost every person I meet.

 

While aspects of the Lifestyle may eventually lead to the heart and soul of mates and even love (see polyamory), I think that for the vast majority of people in this lifestyle love is completely separate from playing. That's why most people refer to it as playing instead of making love. I make love to Mrs. Nomad. I do not make love to any of our playmates. We play. Its already been told to you but you seem to keep pursuing it but if you are looking for love and soulmates the LS is most likely not for you. In my short time in the lifestyle I've found people that are looking for a lot of very different things but love and soulmates are not usually it.

 

I've outlined what I bring to the party now lets look at what you bring. You have provided repeatedly examples of your worst traits without providing any positive aspects of yourself. You have stated in the past that you have economic hardships of some sort (if I remember correctly). Clubs and online sites have membership fees. Nice clothes in my size cost quite a lot of money. This hobby like many others costs money. You ask questions and then debate the answers. You look at examples given of how a single male exists in the lifestyle and provide numerous reasons that how you are not up to that level.

 

Frankly until you can identify what exactly you are looking for, address your self-confidence issues, and ensure that you are financially sound enough to participate in this hobby I don't think the lifestyle is for you.

 

Now if your goal is to simply find people to have pity on you then by all means keep on posting. However you will find that the pity will come less and less as people grow more and more tired of a person who will not pull himself up by his own boot straps.

 

Mr. Nomad

[shy_couple 459]

so much going on in this thread.

 

First we question motivation of single men looking to get into the LS. Is it a porn fueled fantasy? Do you think it’s an easy lay? Easier than bar scene? Easier than eHarmony or Tinder? Or Grinder? Or is it a sincere exploration of sexually freedom and all it entails? The LS has many complexities, nuances, and emotional mine fields to navigate. And we feel that single men need to know and what understand their motivation.

 

Next, with all that being said, single men are a dime a dozen. Couples, and single ladies for that matter, have no shortage of willing volunteers. What sets you apart? Online is tough. Sdsevits, May have interpreted something that wasn’t said directly but perhaps was implied, messaging through SLS or other online site rarely goes well (mainly because no matter how clever or funny single guys think they sound, we hear “you’re hot, wanna fuck?”) . For us, without public pics, certs, and a paid profile single men can’t get a foot in the door. May sound, and be a little harsh, but we have learned from experience that you need looks and pics (not just your dick, cartoon, meme, Instagram cartoon face, sunglasses and hats) to start a conversation. Due to overwhelming choices with single men, many couples don’t have or wish to invest time in guys who don’t get those basics.

 

Also agree with SW_PA and sdsevits, that in person interaction is the way to go. BE yourself, don’t try to over do it on machismo, be overly flattering, or tell people what you think they want to hear.

 

One of our best experiences was with an average guy, funny, sincere, regular dude, late 40s a bit of a gut and almost HWP, and average endowment. He was charming and made us feel at ease and we had a good time. Kicker is, we met in person by chance. It is much less likely that we would have given him a second look online.

 

We say it stated somewhere “Peoe online are looking for a reason to say no. In person, people are looking to say yes.” In our experience, we have found it to be true.

[Napoleon 230]

As a heterosexual single male I got nothing out of swinging.

 

My reasons why I got out a few years ago:

 

- 90 to 99%(depending on location) of the women in the swinging world are over the age 35, unattractive, and overweight. I went to swinger clubs in different areas - non-HWP was the same for almost all the women.

 

- Women in the swinger world can't take "no" for an answer without spreading lies about the single man who rejected them.

 

- The vast majority of swingers have a hatred against gay and bisexual men.

 

- Straight women are shamed in the swinger world. My current girlfriend is straight. Women are expected to be bisexual in the swinger world.

 

- Most husbands in the swinger world are little two-faced insecure emasculated men. And a smaller portion of husband pressured their wife to swing.

 

- Single men are hated in the swinger world. The first time I went to a swinger club 90% of the couples there automatically treated me like a second class citizen but a month later when I brought my hot 24 year old girlfriend at the time those same two-faced couples was open and nice to me. I rejected them all and went for hooked up with the couples who were nice to me from the start and that we found also found attractive.

 

- Women can touch men without verbal consent and it's ok but if a man does the same to a woman it's a problem and he can get kicked out the establishment. Double standard. When I took my heterosexual girlfriend to swingers clubs while dancing with my girlfriend or just talking bisexual women would literally physically force their way between me and my girlfriend. It made my girlfriend very uncomfortable. I would call the woman out on her inappropriate behavior and her and her little husband would react as if I was the one in the wrong.

 

- There's a lot of alcoholics in the swinger world. I refuse to touch a drunk woman.

 

 

As a single man going after hot young vanilla-women under the age of 30 is more than worth the effort compared to the BS you're gonna deal with in the swinger world as a single man. The swinger world is not a place for charming, physically fit, financially established high-quality single men who can easily get young women. I thought it was, the swinger world proved me wrong. And if you're not a high quality single male who can easily get young women develop yourself into one. You won't be able to achieve this in the swinger world.

 

Stay out of the swinging world.

[padoc 1,703]

Apparently, you're not such a "high quality single male" or you'd have way more luck in the swinging world. Good luck with the rest of your life, you won't be missed.

[Napoleon 230]

@padoc

 

Very few women in the swinger world are HWP, so yes I wasn't very successful in the swinger world.

[njbm 2,881]

I am a married, slightly overweight swinger over 60. I have had partners who are smoking hot and in great shape (including my wife and many others). Maybe it’s you.

[Napoleon 230]

@njbm

 

Those wives didn't reject me, I rejected them because they wasn't HWP. And as a single man I did end up sleeping with a few HWP wives during my very short time inside the swinger world. The fact remains, very few women in the swinger world are HWP so the total number of women I was willing to sleep with were very few.

 

A single male in the swinger world has "standards" and isn't willing to put his penis inside non-HWP women, imagine that. I know that's a shocker to many married people in the swinger world.

[Jane1902 476]

Shy couple nailed it with asking someone’s motivation for swinging, great question for any potential partner. I have known some very successful single men in their 50’s. Often it is attitude. You did meet HWP women and then rejected them for whatever reason just as others reject you for their own reason. I have also seen clubs or groups listed as specifically HWP and you need approval to join.

[padoc 1,703]

What is NOT a shocker is a single guy who comes across as arrogant and obnoxious. Why don't you go ahead and stick with your three women. Im guessing they aren't worldly enough to see through your crap…..yet. Come back when you grow up sonny.

[Napoleon 230]

@pandoc

 

I see, so I'm arrogant and obnoxious for not being attracted to nor being willing to have sex non-HWP women, yet many of you married couples are the most arrogant and obnoxious most of the time in the swinger world and view single non-married men as second class citizens. I even been approached a few times by married swinger couples at vanilla-clubs and they came off as if I should feel lucky and grateful as if they were doing me a favor being interested in me. Heck, I didn't even notice their existence before they approached me. The wife was actually attractive but I rejected her - their attitudes rubbed me the wrong way. I'm never desperate for sex. As a single heterosexual man I have standards and self-worth just like you couples have standards and self-worth. One of my standards is to never have sex with a non-HWP single or married woman, and this standard made me unsuccessful 90% of the time during my short time inside the swinger world because at least 90% of the women in the swinger world are non-HWP. And the hot young women who are with me love the type of man that I am, I treat them extremely well.

 

I know it's a shocker to many inside the swinger world that some single heterosexual men are very picky and won't put their penis inside every single vagina offered to them.

[EastInWest 1,524]

I know it's a shocker to many inside the swinger world that some single heterosexual men are very picky and won't put their penis inside every single vagina offered to them.

 

We're both fit, active, not particularly drinkers, and on the young side of the swinging crowd, to the point that we aren't sure if we'd be a fit at most clubs.

 

I can tell you, though, that what you may rationalize as people reacting to you being "picky" is likely others simply reacting to you being abrasive and egotistical.

 

While I like a nice body as much as anybody, it's never occurred to me in my life to broadly categorize women as "HWP" or "non-HWP" and to rule out sex with the ones who don't fit some type category. It's also a little odd that you stress being a real estate developer in your profile on a swinging site. You've got something superficial going on that oozes off of you, and if you work on scrubbing that off might find you make better connections, regardless of what kind of women you're going after.

[Napoleon 230]

@EastinWest

 

As a non-married heterosexual man I can toot my horn what I bring to the table(and it's a lot materialistically, sexually, and intellectually) just like married couples can toot their horn what they bring to the table. And the swinger world is about being superficial - "physical attributes first", personality second.

 

And I stand by my statement, I refuse to insert my penis inside any non-HWP single or married woman. And this why I got out the swinger world - 90% of the women in the swinger world are non-HWP, I didn't know this before attending swinger clubs, and I did end up banging a few rare HWP swinger women. It might take me 5 to 10 times more effort to get a young hot drop dead gorgeous 24 year old vanilla-woman compared to non-HWP swinger woman but it's damn sure worth the effort and pleasure, especially how hateful the swinger world is towards single heterosexual men that alone keep the vast majority of high quality single men out of the swinging world. If I was a single or married bisexual man the hatred would be far worse.

[padoc 1,703]

Im really curious now. Whats a wonderful, engaging, affluent, fit and charming (did I get it al??)Oh, I forgot, and possessed of three reportedly young and attractive women doing HERE. Put another way, WTF do you hope to accomplish by posting on this board??? We're all clearly too old for you, most swinger women are too fat for you to even notice and apparently, someone was very, very mean to you and hurt your feelings. Back to your safe place now? Is your tantrum about over? If we had a kids table at this site, we'd probably send you there. You're just not ready to be with the grownups.

[Napoleon 230]

Im really curious now. Whats a wonderful, engaging, affluent, fit and charming (did I get it al??)Oh, I forgot, and possessed of three reportedly young and attractive women doing HERE. Put another way, WTF do you hope to accomplish by posting on this board??? We're all clearly too old for you, most swinger women are too fat for you to even notice and apparently, someone was very, very mean to you and hurt your feelings. Back to your safe place now? Is your tantrum about over? If we had a kids table at this site, we'd probably send you there. You're just not ready to be with the grownups.

 

 

Correction: I don't want to be with or around swinger-grownups since they hate single heterosexual and single/married bisexual men, and even frawn or hate heterosexual women at times. And I'm not one of those little desperate single men kissing up to you and your non-HWP wife in the hope of entering the hole between her legs, I'm not gonna let you talk to or treat me any kind of way. Now go sit your a*ss at the kiddie table.

[Seanandem 48]

Correction: I don't want to be with or around swinger-grownups since they hate single heterosexual and single/married bisexual men, and even frawn or hate heterosexual women at times. And I'm not one of those little desperate single men kissing up to you and your non-HWP wife in the hope of entering the hole between her legs, I'm not gonna let you talk to or treat me any kind of way. Now go sit your a*ss at the kiddie table.

 

 

Sometimes I frawn. I'm curious, did you mean you get frowned on? You've been droning on and on about how you're so awesome and we all suck. You come in here, disrespect us as a group, disrespect our women, and think we'll just roll over? If this lifestyle offends you so much, why waste your time on this board? That doesn't seem very intellectual of you. It doesn't make sense. I think you're likely a snot-nose punk whose had his feelings hurt. Boo hoo! I think padoc hit the nail on the head, SNOWFLAKE. I'd add only one thing. Clearly you're a very small man. And that's ok. Just own it bro.

[Napoleon 230]

@Seanandem

 

 

I've met a few cool swingers who don't hate single heterosexual men and single and married bisexual men, nor do they frawn upon heterosexual women. And I'm not disrespecting your women, I just don't find 90% of swinger women HWP-fuckable. I only have sex with HWP women, that's my preference. I have a preference just like every other single person or couple have a preference.

 

And nobody hurt my feelings.

[padoc 1,703]

"Nobody hurt my feelings"Ya think!! Ha, ha, ha, sonny, your nose is so out of joint you must have walked face first into a phone pole. Go lick your wounds boy. Rejection is part of the process of maturing which is not one of the things taught in either high school or college. You're barely 4 years out of high school, what the hell could you possibly know? Schools worry more about instilling self esteem than teaching life preparation. I gotta say, they did really well with YOUR self esteem. You clearly have an overvalued opinion of your own self worth yet all you've done here is crassly boast about how wonderful your are (without providing any evidence) and complain about others who don't seem to meet your exceptionally high standards. Why don't you go away now, there is nothing for you here and you're certainly NOT doing anything to change anyones mind about barely post pubesent single guys.

[Napoleon 230]

"Nobody hurt my feelings"Ya think!! Ha, ha, ha, sonny, your nose is so out of joint you must have walked face first into a phone pole. Go lick your wounds boy. Rejection is part of the process of maturing which is not one of the things taught in either high school or college. You're barely 4 years out of high school, what the hell could you possibly know? Schools worry more about instilling self esteem than teaching life preparation. I gotta say, they did really well with YOUR self esteem. You clearly have an overvalued opinion of your own self worth yet all you've done here is crassly boast about how wonderful your are (without providing any evidence) and complain about others who don't seem to meet your exceptionally high standards. Why don't you go away now, there is nothing for you here and you're certainly NOT doing anything to change anyones mind about barely post pubesent single guys.

 

 

I handle rejection and keep moving foward just as easy as I breath air in and out of my body. And my post has absolutely nothing to do with rejection.And you're hitting on my age and what you think" my maturity level is - well I've met a lot of immature men and women over the age of 40. Years on this earth does not equate to maturity level. And I'm not lying. The list of things I stated about swingers and the swinger world is accurate.

[EastInWest 1,524]

I handle rejection and keep moving foward just as easy as I breath air in and out of my body. And my post has absolutely nothing to do with rejection.

 

So I'm just dying to know.

 

As a busy real estate developer with three girlfriends, wherever do you find the free time to complain about something you claim to have no interest in on a forum dedicated to it, nevermind roleplay your thoughts about desserts like someone who spends too much time on the most socially-awkward chat rooms?

 

Actual successful people focus on time that adds value. Why would your posts add value unless you're feeling deeply scornful over rejection in the "swinger world" and your only outlet to dig out those bad feelings is this forum?

 

Say hello to your three girlfriends who live in Canada for me, and good luck with all your exciting real estate deals, big guy.

[Jane1902 476]

If Napoleon had done his homework he would have known most swingers are much more mature than him. Maybe when he walked into a club alone we were all so taken back by his beauty we were too intimidated to approach him. It sounds like he was never invited to the parties for more HWP people. There is a classy way to carry one’s self and say in your brief experience you didn’t find women you were attracted to. I politely decline playing with people I am not interested in, you are rejecting people. There is a difference and the mature members of this board understand.

Not all swingers are alike and fortunately you only stayed briefly. So broad statements That you find 90% of the women unattractive or standards on bisexuality are based on very limited experience. I suspect in general you find less than 10% of women attractive. Have you seen Padoc’s wife? She is hot! She’s not bisexual and I can respect that. There are many discussions here on male bisexuality and many feel there is a double standard. People need to be honest in what they are looking for. In my geographic area I see more bisexual than straight men listed.

Napoleon, why choose that as your screen name? I actually think you are a troll trying to get a reaction. I bit. Otherwise I hope you enjoyed your rant. We try not to frawn on single men, just some make it so easy.

[Napoleon 230]

@EastInWest

 

Two years ago I hired a real estate management company to manage my cash producing properties. This move cut the number of hours I have to manage these properties from 50 plus hours per week down to 3 to 6 hours per week. And I only have to do 1 to 2 big real estate development deals per year in order to meet my income marks per year.

 

What can I say, I'm smart. I have a lot of disposable time and money on my hands. And my girlfriends they have 40 hours per week jobs so I don't have to deal with them all day every day.

[Napoleon 230]

@Jane1902

 

Well Napoleon is my legal first name. And I do politely declined women I'm not interested in. And I did have sex with a few women I found attractive. There was no shortage of women at these swinging clubs I could have had sex with.. I just didn't know before attending swinger clubs how hateful the swinger world is towards single heterosexual men, especially bisexual and gay men, and even frowned upon and even hateful towards heterosexual women. Why would a single man EVEN IF he can easily get sex with women why would he want to be in an environment that hate his kind???

And one of my girlfriends insisted on going to swinger with me. I warned her that she's heterosexual and will be viewed and treated in a negative manner. She didn't believe me. Well she believed me after we left the swinger club. She never want to be part of the swinger again I don't blame her. And these "little men" squaring up to me about how I view their wives as non-HWP are the same little men/husbands and bisexual wives who would treat my girlfriend poorly for simply being a heterosexual woman.

 

And WHY haven't anyone challenged me on the fact that single heterosexual men and bisexual and gay men, and many times heterosexual women ARE hated in the swinger world? If it's not true what I'm saying, prove me wrong.

[EastInWest 1,524]

@EastInWest

 

Two years ago I hired a real estate management company to manage my cash producing properties. This move cut the number of hours I have to manage these properties from 50 plus hours per week down to 3 to 6 hours per week. And I only have to do 1 to 2 big real estate development deals per year in order to meet my income marks per year.

 

What can I say, I'm smart. I have a lot of disposable time and money on my hands. And my girlfriends they have 40 hours per week jobs so I don't have to deal with them all day every day.

 

Right, and I'm very impressed. You seem to be missing my point, which is that this is how you choose to spend your free time. Successful people focus on rewarding activities, and it raises the question of what reward you're getting out of your behavior. Most people are here to learn how to have more fun. The obvious explanation is that you have some anger at the "swinger world" and are trying to find somebody to take it out on.

 

You're choosing to act as a turd in the punch bowl, and the guy who enjoys that role is always a dysfunctional little twerp at heart.

 

I'm not saying that to be mean. I finally went back and reviewed your post history, and it's unbelievably clear that you have an ax to grind with "swingers" as a whole for failing to be impressed by you and ultimately rejecting you. Your very first post, two years ago, was you complaining that you'd attended a party and that people, after talking to you for a while, would start rolling their eyes. You chalked this up to them being "rude" instead of you being, say, "annoying", "boring", "egotistical", or "obviously delusional". You're surprised by this, but also try to act like you've been coming to clubs for a long time.

 

Then you go on to other threads and start making various extravagant claims that everybody here ignores, until you disappear for two years.

 

Now you're back, embittered about swinging and bragging that you gave up on that "world" years ago.

 

I was exactly right the first time. It's just not hard to read between the lines that you are desperate for approval and act scorned when it doesn't happen. Everybody who is immediately turned off by your toxic, desperate personality once they spend some time with you - which seems to be everyone you meet while attempting to swing - is therefore the problem, and old and fat and alcoholic, too.

 

"It's not me, it's the discrimination against single heterosexual men by all those hateful women I didn't even really want to have sex with anyway! Why won't somebody tell me what I want to hear, that I'm not the problem?"

 

This is a character defect that is repulsive to others and perpetuates your problem. Why would you ever think the things you're saying to try to impress people would actually make you attractive to them?

[Wornsilver 219]

This is what you typically expect on an anonymous site, but this Board has avoided these trolls and goofballs most of the time. Hopefully, this snowflake finds another place to bother people.

[Napoleon 230]

@EASTInWest

 

Well I'm not going to respond nicely to men and women being rude to me. My very first post was how couples were rude to me because I didn't come with a woman, then next time my girlfriend decided to come with me and NOW those same couples are nice to me. I gave them back the same rude cold shoulder they gave me. They got the hint and walked away from me and my girlfriend. That same night my girlfriend received a lot of eye-rolls and cold shoulders when from women(bisexual wives) when they found out she was a heterosexual woman. This same night though I did meet a few very cool couples. Me and my girlfriend spent the rest of the night chatting with them.

Also the last time I went to a swinger club was 7 months ago. I'll never attend a swinger club again.

[Alura 2,774]

Having read your posts, Napoleon, I think there are other issues you have which contribute to your lack of success in our swinging world.

 

You exhibit symptoms of "Malignant Narcissism." Have you considered a career in Public Service?

[Napoleon 230]

Having read your posts, Napoleon, I think there are other issues you have which contribute to your lack of success in our swinging world.

 

You exhibit symptoms of "Malignant Narcissism." Have you considered a career in Public Service?

 

Public service??? Ha ha, funny.

 

Except for my first two times at swiger clubs I always ended up having sex with a woman I found physically attractive. My limitation is 90% of the women in the swinger world are non-HWP to a degree I find unattractive. And I been to 14 swingers clubs in the last two years. And if having a preference-criteria for who I will or won't have sex with makes me narcissistic then every man and woman on planet earth is narcissistic.

[EastInWest 1,524]

@EASTInWest

 

Well I'm not going to respond nicely to men and women being rude to me. My very first post was how couples were rude to me because I didn't come with a woman, then next time my girlfriend decided to come with me and NOW those same couples are nice to me.

 

Specifically, you complained that they were pleasant and happy to meet you, inviting you over to their tables, but became rude after you'd sat down and talked to them for a while.

 

If a resume entitled "SINGLE MALE" gets you job interviews, but the job interviews end with a firm "don't call us, we'll call you", it's not the resume that's the problem. It's something about you that's only obvious once you start talking that's wrecking the interaction.

 

I'll never attend a swinger club again.

 

I'm sure they're devastated.

[Napoleon 230]

Specifically, you complained that they were pleasant and happy to meet you, inviting you over to their tables, but became rude after you'd sat down and talked to them for a while.

 

If a resume entitled "SINGLE MALE" gets you job interviews, but the job interviews end with a firm "don't call us, we'll call you", it's not the resume that's the problem. It's something about you that's only obvious once you start talking that's wrecking the interaction.

 

 

The vast majority a*ssholes in swinger clubs are couples, not single men or single women.

 

And some of those couples were rude to me because after inviting me to their table and having conversation with me I politely showed through my body language or politely expressed verbally that I wasn't interested in having sex with their wife. I simply didn't find their wife attractive. When my lack of attraction for their wife became apparent they gave me the cold shoulder behavior. The other couples in that same group and other groups that night completely blew me off, didn't say a single word to me when I politely greeted myself to them, but these same couples approached me the next time my girlfriend came with me. I blew them off the way they blew me. I don't have time for two-faced men and women.

 

The vast majority of a*ssholes in the swinger world are couples, not single men or single women.

[Alura 2,774]

My guess, Napoleon, is that you approached those folks with a friendly demeanor, after which you followed up with a lecture on how smart, financially brilliant, and sexually capable you are, just as you did with us. That's probably why you got the "don't call us" response.

[Napoleon 230]

My guess, Napoleon, is that you approached those folks with a friendly demeanor, after which you followed up with a lecture on how smart, financially brilliant, and sexually capable you are, just as you did with us. That's probably why you got the "don't call us" response.

 

 

No. I did nothing like that. They did the vast majority of the talking, talking about themselves. When they asked me questions about myself I explained myself to them in simple terms, nothing colorful or flashy.

 

Swinger clubs and the swinger world in general is simply not a great environment for single non-married heterosexual, gay, and bisexual men. The swinger world isn't even a great environment for heterosexual women, if a heterosexual woman(my girlfriend for example) don't like being touched sexually by other women they will be frowned upon by these "so-called" sexually opened minded swingers, and I dare you anyone else to dispute me if you thing I'm wrong about this.

[Jane1902 476]

I sense a Napoleon complex going on.

[Twilighttap 168]

Looking at just some of the threads about single men and the LS, the happy successful men who blend vs what appear to be the angry involuntary male celibates looking for ‘easy’ sex seems clear.

[Alura 2,774]

Swinger clubs and the swinger world in general is simply not a great environment for single non-married heterosexual, gay, and bisexual men. The swinger world isn't even a great environment for heterosexual women, if a heterosexual woman(my girlfriend for example) don't like being touched sexually by other women they will be frowned upon by these "so-called" sexually opened minded swingers, and I dare you anyone else to dispute me if you thing I'm wrong about this.

 

You're right, Napoleon, bi-sexual single women (whom we affectionately call, "Unicorns" because of their rarity), are much more welcome than single men. Or single heterosexual women, for that matter. If you do some searching on this Board, there are threads about heterosexual women who hope to get laid (perhaps excitingly)by someone else's husband, while she enjoys her freedom to go home afterward. As I recall, some wives took exception to this and refused to lend her man out.

 

You see, Napoleon, Swinging is more about caring for our playmates' needs than to satisfy our own. Yes, we have fun, but most of us don't need to put down other people to accomplish that goal.

[Napoleon 230]

Looking at just some of the threads about single men and the LS, the happy successful men who blend vs what appear to be the angry involuntary male celibates looking for ‘easy’ sex seems clear.

 

 

Sex is easy to get, getting sex specifically from HWP women is challenging and fun.

[padoc 1,703]

I've decided that this guy is a victim (most of his generation wants to be a victim of something anyway so he's IN with the incrowd). He suffers from low blood volume. In layman terms, he hasn't enough blood volume to maintain an erection and higher level brain function simultaneously, which includes personality. The side effects include arrogance, easily hurt feelings, feelings of inadequacy, rage against older people who don't recognize his wonderfulness, self-loathing and an impacted ability to look past his own prejudices. This is a serious disease that, if left untreated, will result in the patient becoming a bigger and bigger asshole. In reading Nappy's posts, I suspect the disease has progressed to nearly 4th stage. Once the patient is that ill, asshole-itis becomes permanent. Seek treatment before its too late sonny.

[Napoleon 230]

I've decided that this guy is a victim (most of his generation wants to be a victim of something anyway so he's IN with the incrowd). He suffers from low blood volume. In layman terms, he hasn't enough blood volume to maintain an erection and higher level brain function simultaneously, which includes personality. The side effects include arrogance, easily hurt feelings, feelings of inadequacy, rage against older people who don't recognize his wonderfulness, self-loathing and an impacted ability to look past his own prejudices. This is a serious disease that, if left untreated, will result in the patient becoming a bigger and bigger asshole. In reading Nappy's posts, I suspect the disease has progressed to nearly 4th stage. Once the patient is that ill, asshole-itis becomes permanent. Seek treatment before its too late sonny.

 

 

Narrative:

 

Single men having high standards = mental illness.

 

Couples or single women having high standards = personal preference.

 

Note:

 

I'm still not going to bang non-HWP women. That's my personal preference.

 

And I have no rage or hatred towards men and women much older than me. As a non-married man I simply know my worth. Man to man, do you have 3 super hot wives just like have 3 super hot girlfriends?? Yeah, I didn't think so, sonny. And I don't have and never had a victim mentality. Men like me accomplish things, not act like a victim.

[Seanandem 48]

Narrative:

 

Single men having high standards = mental illness.

 

Couples or single women having high standards = personal preference.

 

Note:

 

I'm still not going to bang non-HWP women. That's my personal preference.

 

And I have no rage or hatred towards men and women much older than me. As a non-married man I simply know my worth. Man to man, do you have 3 super hot wives just like have 3 super hot girlfriends?? Yeah, I didn't think so, sonny. And I don't have and never had a victim mentality. Men like me accomplish things, not act like a victim.

 

 

It's actually pretty amusing to see someone brag so much, and be so arrogant. You're just proving all of our points Nap. Anyone can jump on a forum and claim what you do. And if it happens here, I'm sure it happens in real life at clubs. It's no wonder you're butt-hurt about people rejecting you. You just don't understand that to us, physical features are great, but if there's a personality flaw, most of us simply say, no thanks. Good luck with your supposed business and girlfriend success.

 

 

I'm sure were all so jealous and heartbroken because you're taking yourself out of swing clubs.

[Napoleon 230]

It's actually pretty amusing to see someone brag so much, and be so arrogant. You're just proving all of our points Nap. Anyone can jump on a forum and claim what you do. And if it happens here, I'm sure it happens in real life at clubs. It's no wonder you're butt-hurt about people rejecting you. You just don't understand that to us, physical features are great, but if there's a personality flaw, most of us simply say, no thanks. Good luck with your supposed business and girlfriend success.

 

 

I'm sure were all so jealous and heartbroken because you're taking yourself out of swing clubs.

 

I don't care about being rejected, I'm just not going tolerate any man or woman being rude to me for no legitimate reason. I also don't care if anyone is jealous of me or not. And please, I have personality but I don't need much personality to get sex.

 

And I'm still not going to bang non-HWP woman.

[Jane1902 476]

I think this Nappy little troll is playing with us. Child’s game of last word. No one here is asking him to bang non HWP women. Most people here are respectful of each other’s preferences. I am not sure what he hopes to accomplish here, he is the only one singing his praises. Are these hot women literate? Please invite them to share their view of how wonderful you are. Frawn all over you I promise not.

[Napoleon 230]

I think this Nappy little troll is playing with us. Child’s game of last word. No one here is asking him to bang non HWP women. Most people here are respectful of each other’s preferences. I am not sure what he hopes to accomplish here, he is the only one singing his praises. Are these hot women literate? Please invite them to share their view of how wonderful you are. Frawn all over you I promise not.

 

I'm not trolling.

[PeterJ 955]

I think this Nappy little troll is playing with us.

 

I’ve thought this for a while now, Jane. And that would be my most charitable take.

[Napoleon 230]

I’ve thought this for a while now, Jane. And that would be my most charitable take.

 

 

Narrative:

 

Married couples speak critically or negatively about non-married men = mature conversation.

 

Non-married men speak critically or negatively about married couples = trolling.

 

And the swinger world wonder why the overwhelming vast majority of attractive high quality in-demand single heterosexual men avoid the swinger world.