Insecurities

[Beetlebug922 16]

My wife and I have been talking about swapping with one of our couple friends. She is a sexual woman and has said she wants to fuck other men. However she is not ok with me fucking another chick. She say that it is bc I haven't had much sex and I don't know what's out there and might leave her. How can I convince her that should this happens I'm not going to leave her.

[lcmim 1,086]

However she is not ok with me fucking another chick. She say that it is bc I haven't had much sex and I don't know what's out there and might leave her. How can I convince her that should this happens I'm not going to leave her.

Only one cure for lack of experience.

[Billygoat 445]

You cannot force any issue. Time, communication....open discussion. Small steps....mini advances. Open discussion with other couples in the LS. If you both agree to attend a meet n greet or later a party do so but only stay together....experience the party but only tease, flirt and play with each other for your first several encounters. Grow from there....or decide it’s best to leave it a fantasy.

[lcmim 1,086]

Only one cure for lack of experience.

 

Now that I am more fully awake.

 

Until this is worked out I would suggest staying on the vanilla side of things as far as swinging goes.

 

Her insecurity at this point is normal enough in itself.

 

Unless you are perfectly okay with the limitations it places on you and are willing to be okay with it for the foreseeable future, I would suggest arriving at some sort of accommodation that you are both really comfortable with.

 

As it stands, what she is proposing would be, for most of us, a "No Go" block to proceeding. Without much further development.

[Numex 2,459]

She is a sexual woman and has said she wants to fuck other men. However she is not ok with me fucking another chick..

Then that's where you start. Enjoy her adventures and don't pressure her. That's how we started. Let her enjoy herself and although it may take a year or two, she will eventually want you in the game as well.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Love trust and communication: you can't have too much of any of the three. Make your relationship ROCK SOLID first before continuing. Remember to always move at a pace the slowest is comfortable with. Take baby steps...maybe start with visiting a club with the understanding that you don't do ANYTHING with anyone else, just the two of you. But this is to be done down the road. Take your time. She needs to understand that her being with other men runs the same risk that you being with other women runs and therefore shouldn't be breached until you are both ready. It may take years...it may take a lifetime and still never happen. Start with building up the relationship and when you both trust each other COMPLETELY, then (and only then) consider taking the next step. Jealously is a sign of a lack of one of the three. Take your time and see what happens but make sure that the relationship is as strong as possible before going anywhere. Good luck and let us know how you are doing.

[couplers 4,718]

If she is comfortable having sex with another guy, let her do it. Make her comfortable by telling her that you don't need to play with another woman, then find out how she would like to do it - MFM, you just watching, or playing alone. Swinging doesn't have to be symmetric and reciprocal in all respects.

[Guest]

I had concerns like that, and others, and when we talked about them, we agreed that if we were ever to swing, our starting point would have to be MFM. A month or so later, an MFM just happened. After several, I felt more comfortable about it all and we went to a couples club and I learned swaps were fun, too.

[EastInWest 1,524]

Maybe this helps, maybe I'm missing the point a little bit:

 

For us, she had a high libido and understood the appeal, but had never really had recreational casual sex and had a lot of background baggage about sex and romance going together. I was the more experienced partner by far and she was pretty skeptical that most of the women in my past weren't important. It wasn't until we actually tried soft swap that it clicked with her that not all sex is about romance.

 

Even then, she was kind of in your wife's position that she's more confident about fucking but was hesitant about me fucking - and we're OK with that. We just set some boundaries and enjoy our opportunities where they come up. It doesn't have to be a 100% egalitarian deal as long as you're both on the same page about what you're doing and having your own kind of fun.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

When I was trying to talk my wife into having sex with another man she thought I was just doing it so I could have sex with other women.

 

I wasn't interested in reciprocation. My fantasy was was watching her enjoying herself with another man. I wanted her to be my favorite porn star:)